CHAPTER 9: GREASY CAT LADY

The plan was formed that night after dinner. Neville Longbottom's boggart from earlier that year was the brilliant inspiration. Severus Snape would never know what hit him.

The two girls anonymously thanked Neville for his help with a large box of Bertie Botts. He was quite surprised when he received the package in the mail. Also rather confused as to what anyone would thank him for.

All was explained the next morning at breakfast.

An extremely large roll of parchment was posted on the wall behind the Slytherin table. The seal was a wax form of the Muses' signature phoenix. It was rather obvious who was behind the huge parchment on the wall. And no of the Slytherins sat on the side of the table beside the wall due to no one wanting to be the next victim of an expertly pulled prank.

Now, the school just had to wait for the Muses to make their move. Two students sat knowing smirks at their house table. The pair winked and Ella nodded.

Snape was rounding the corner, headed straight for the Hall. Everyone in the school looked toward the huge wooden doors to see an exceptionally comical sight.

Unbeknownst to himself, Snape was dressed like an old woman. His normally black wizarding robes were exchanged for an anything but flattering floral print dress. Atop his greasy hair was a disturbing hat that served as a nest for a stuffed crow. His stride was the same sweeping movement, but was joined by the sound of high heels. He even looked taller.

The perfect touch was the fact that twenty cats followed him up to the staff table.

Snape appeared oblivious to his entertaining predicament and the giant roll of parchment also seemed to escape his attention.

A confused expression came across his face when post came.

Four owls hovered in midair above the Slytherin table. In actuality, the birds land on the large paper. The womanly potions master watched in earnest as the four owls dove straight down. Their time and speed were in perfect sync. The entire Great Hall had turned their attention to the strange sight as well. Letters and packages sat unopened as the whole of Hogwarts gaped at the unveiled scroll.

Unknown to Snape, an infamous Muggle painting had been sealed in the huge roll of parchment. DaVinci's 'Mona Lisa' was revealed to all of Hogwarts, but with a slight change.

The face of the woman with the mysterious smile had been replaced. In its place was an instantly recognizable countenance.

Glowering eyes stood out against pasty skin. But the large hooked nose was the most distinct feature of all.

The portrait of 'Mona Lisa' had been invaded by the face of Professor Severus Snape. The Hall was silent for a full minute before Hermione Granger, of all people, snorted with laughter. This led to all of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff broke out in hysterical laughter. Even a few Slytherins were chuckling at their befuddled Head of House, Ella being the loudest of them all.

The most surprising reaction was that of the staff table. Many professors were attempting to hide their own laughter behind their hands. Professor Dumbledore made no move to hide his amused expression. Professor McGonagall endeavored to conceal her own delight in the prank by sipping from her goblet. This, however, did nothing to hide the glint of amusement in her usually stern eyes.

The trio of Gryffindor redheads made their way to the large wooden doors. They met up with the Honorary Gryffindor in the Entrance Hall.

"Did you see his face?" Fred asked, grinning ear to ear.

"Those Muses are bloody brilliant." George agreed.

"Hey, guys, wait up!" someone called from behind them.

The four pranksters turned to spot four figures approaching them at high speed. The taller person, Oliver, reached them first.

"Thanks for waiting, guys." He growled as the other three neared.

"You were a little preoccupied with that fourth year Ravenclaw Seeker." Analese responded. Her younger sister noticed the bitterness in her tone, unlike Oliver.

"Hey, Harry, Hermione, Ron." Ella changed the subject smoothly.

"Nice move." Fred whispered to the raven-haired girl, making her heart flutter annoyingly.

"You heading to class already?" Harry inquired.

"I have to talk to McGonagall about that assignment that somebody," Ella gave George a pointed look, "scorched while playing Exploding Snap."

"Mind if we join you?" Hermione questioned.

"Not at all, the more the merrier, right?" Ella grinned.

"We'll see you later, sis." Analese waved as the fifth years headed for Charms.

"The Muses are geniuses!" Harry exclaimed, clearly ecstatic at the prank pulled on Snape.

"I agree." Hermione stated, earning shocked stares from her friends. "Well, their pranks aren't mindless or dangerous like the twins'. I mean, the charms the Muses use have to take some difficult wand work. And, those particular spells aren't in any book in the library, so they had to do a lot of research to find the incantations."

"The Muses might have created the charms themselves." Ella pointed out.

"I suppose so." Hermione went on. "I would admire them greatly if they didn't break the rules. But, even so, the Muses must be highly intelligent."

By this time, the group of third years had reached their classroom.

"Wanna sit with us?" Ron asked the Slytherin.

"Sure, thanks." Ella placed her things next to Hermione's and headed to speak to the professor.

About halfway through the class, McGonagall had to escort Seamus to the hospital wing. He had accidentally turned his watch into a poisonous spider and had been bitten.

"I will return shortly so remain seated and copy down the notes on the board." The transfiguration teacher announced before walking out the door.

"Well, it appears that Potter is able to walk and talk. It's too bad he can't fly a broom." Malfoy sneered.

Harry merely glared at his parchment, trying to control his temper.

"What I want to know is how Pothead can survive an attack from You-Know-Who, but can't help but faint when facing a dementor." The Slytherin continued to taunt the Gryffindor.

Harry kept his rage in check, but Ron was the first to snap.

"Shut up, Malfoy." The redhead glared at the blonde.

"Maybe the Weasel is rubbing off on him." Malfoy pushed the temperamental Gryffindors too far.

"Shut your bloody face, Malfoy, before I make you." Ron snapped. "At least, Harry can catch a Snitch!"

"No one ask for your opinion, Weasel." Malfoy returned. "You're to poor to pay attention anyway."

"At least I don't need to tie a steak to my face to get dog to play with me." Ron retorted.

"Yeah, well, at least my family's rich enough to afford more than one pair of underwear."

"Too bad that money can't buy you a brain cell to keep the one you've got company." Ron replied.

"Yeah, well, you're so po you couldn't afford the last letter." Malfoy smirked.

"You didn't get hit by the ugly stick, Malfoy, you ran through the whole bloody forest." Ron snapped back.

"Your house is so small, you have to walk outside to change your mind." The blonde sneered.

"At least Ron's IQ has more than one digit." Hermione's comment sent a blush across Ron's cheeks that everyone else mistook as flushing angry.

"Pathetic Mudblood," Malfoy spat, "no one wants you in this conversation."

"Never say that to her or anyone ever again, you pile of scum." Ella cracked at the cruel and unnecessary insult.

"No, it's true, she is a Mudblood." He stated arrogantly.

That had been the tip of the iceberg. Ella leapt from her seat and confronted Malfoy. The Slytherin cowered as the Honorary Gryffindor stood before him.

Ella, although a few inches shorter than him, glared straight into his gray eyes.

"Big talker won't stand up and face his fears like a man?" the dark-haired fireball used a voice dripping with so much sarcasm, there wasn't any way to miss it.

Malfoy hesitantly rose to his feet, nervous as to what would come next. A mischievous glint sparked in honey brown eyes.

"This is for the Muggle-borns." Ella punched Malfoy in his right eye. "This is for the Gryffindors." She sent her right fist plunging into his abdomen. "And this, this is for me." Ella finally gripped the blonde's shoulders and forcefully kneed him where the family jewels would have been on another guy.

Standing over the heap of whimpering cowardice, Ella's expression revealed disgust, rage, and amusement.

"Just because you're male and an arsehole doesn't make you worthy of our time." She spat with a tone of finality.

"You are the most-" Pansy Parkinson began.

"Look, you franken-hooker," Ella cut off, "why don't you go get plastic surgery and make your outside look like your inside…fake."

Harry and Hermione were the only people who understood the Muggle joke.

In the silence that followed, the footsteps of McGonagall could be heard from the corridor. Ella swiftly returned to her seat beside Hermione, who was explaining the comment to Ron.

"Detention, Malfoy." The strict woman stated when she spotted him on the floor. "I told you to remain seated."

"But-"

"No excuses, Malfoy, detention after dinner tonight." McGonagall snapped.

"Thanks for that, Ella. You didn't have to do that." Hermione smiled as they walked down the corridor after class.

"But we're extremely glad that you did." Harry grinned.

"Yeah, you beat Malfoy to the bloody floor so bad that he couldn't stand straight." Ron was ecstatic about what had just happened.

"No one has the right to put down those I consider friends." Ella stated, a bit shy about their reaction to the comment.

"From now on, you sit with us at every class we have together." Harry demanded.

"And at breakfast. After all, you are an Honorary Gryffindor." Ron agreed.

"What you told Parkinson was so brilliant!" Hermione praised.

"I try." Ella flipped her long ponytail over her shoulder, making fun of her roommates.