My computer clock shows it's just about midnight in Greenwich time so of course I decide it's a great idea to update this now. I will update sooner next time, it just somehow delayed this time... Totally not my fault, of course :3 Anyway, I didn't write Tweek's speech pattern like it should be... It's actually because I have a long part for Jimmy in the future chapter and I didn't want to difficule it with all the stuttering. And if Jimmy doesn't get to speak correctly, Tweek doesn't either! No discrimination... Because, you know, it isn't discrimination if you discriminate everyone -___-" ... How about we move on...


Huh, Kyle had really thought Stan would be there. But there was no one in sight. Except for Craig, who completely refused to communicate with him as, by his own words, "If he listened to anything he said, whenever and wherever he said it, it would most certainly end up with Craig being either broke, arrested, lost or all of the above". Kyle just thought that he was being an asshole again and the flipping off only supported this insight. Eventually though, Kyle got fed up with the moody boy and left Stark's pond. After which he bumped into the other side of the coin. Fortunately for his health, this side was more sociable.

"Hi Tweek, have you seen Stan?

Tweek put on his thinking pose, clutching tightly to the hem of his shirt and his gaze cast down at his shoes. Despite his twitching he gave up a fairly still image.

"Nope… Not after school yesterday. You got something important to him?"

At first Kyle thought he was screwing with him and meant it in some kind of kinky way. But Tweek's face and his voice were so innocent it couldn't have been. Which led him to only one conclusion.

"You didn't hear we made out?"

-

"I don't care. I seriously don't. Now fuck off."

Stan glared at him and for the second time that day he wanted to hit someone. But in this case, he'd get punched back and hard, so he didn't.

"Why can't you just say it? One simple word?"

The boy on the bench adjusted his hat and shot him an uninterested look. He could have at least looked bothered for Stan pestering him, but no.

"Because I like to see you beg. Duh."

Stan stood still, just staring now.

"… You're such an asshole, Craig."

-

And at that point, Kyle realized that instead of even trying to stop the rumor's merry way, he was actually spreading it himself. Gosh, didn't that make him feel smart.

"Yeah, I did?… Is that why you wanted to see him?"

Kyle blinked. He wasn't going to even try answering. How do you built up a sensible argument to that? Tweek was not really in the wrong there.

"… Who told you?"

To return to his previous concern: find the little shithead who started the rumor and make him eat her own head. Like David Blaine. Except more permanently.

"Huh? You told me."

Kyle blinked, again. Like… What? … Kyle told him? Um, no he didn't. Or at least he prayed to God that he didn't.

"Dude… I didn't?"

At least he didn't remember telling. Unfortunately, he did remember drinking last night. Did it mean that… that he and Stan might have actually made out without him remembering it? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

"You didn't? … Then maybe it was Stan…"

-

"Whatever."

He was getting gray hair just from the other's attitude. But, no matter, no matter. Craig would simply have to get annoyed by him eventually. Hopefully Stan still had some hair left by then. He groaned.

"Could you please just tell me who told you about me and Kyle?"

Craig locked his eyes with Stan's, lifting his hands behind his neck. The boy was still pretty expressionless, however, and his voice monotone. It took him awhile to answer.

"Look, did you think that maybe, perhaps it really isn't the fault of someone in particular? But started as just a general assumption since you two never leave each other's side? It's not as if you're being subtle or anything. No, you two are practically glued together."

Oh. Everyone just suddenly decided they were gay? Okay then. The standing one of the two rolled his eyes.

"Experience talking, huh?"

Craig used an international hand sign to express his opinion on the comment.

-

Thank you, God. Or wait… that wasn't any better. If Stan had been drunk, he had been also. And if Stan had said that the two had made out, he was definitely not straight… any straight.

"Are you sure it was Stan?"

Tweek looked at him for a long minute, as if trying to recognize him, and even though his response was all the opposite, he was nodding his head like a bobble head.

"No… Are you sure it wasn't you who told me?" Kyle nodded, though he immediately thought no, "Oh, okay. I guess I don't remember then…"

Kyle winced and nodded again. He was nowhere near certain himself, but since Tweek obviously wasn't too sure either, Kyle was much happier if he got to decide.

"Yeah, well, nevermind. If you see Stan during the next half an hour, tell him that I'm at the bus stop."

Kyle thought that Tweek was probably going to see Craig by Stark's pond and Stan might turn up late, so there was a possibility that their paths would collide. Tweek didn't know this, and thought it very unlikely.

"Sure, I'll try to remember."

Which is why Tweek placed the command in the very back of his mind, believing it might surface if he saw Stan, but he probably didn't see anyway, so it didn't matter. He waved at Kyle, who run off, evidently to the bus stop. Tweek then continued on his own merry way. Not too far away from them, there were two boys sitting by a lake, discussing each other's sexuality. Loosely saying. Stan wondered if Kyle was ever going to come. Craig wondered if Stan was waiting in vain for Kyle.

"Hey, are you supposed to be gaying around with your Jewish friend?"

Stan almost literally shot daggers at him. Craig didn't look like he had meant it as a tease, but was asking a serious question. But then again, he didn't know the truth about them yet, did he?

"I'm not gay. I'm not even bi. I'm fully, hundred percent straight."

Craig cast him an odd look that Stan couldn't quite grasp. Then he gazed his eyes somewhere behind the bench. Stan's eyes followed his and he immediately noticed the boy heading their direction.

"It's not about being gay."

Stan was quite sure that would have made it into some lame gay movie with a clean score. "Oh, it's not the outside that matters, it's the inside." But the outside did matter, didn't it? It drew the line between boyfriends and super best friends.

"If you weren't attracted to guys, you wouldn't screw around with a one."

That was when Tweek came into the picture. He doubted the kid paid any attention to him as he made his way over to Craig. In a smooth move, Tweek got up on the bench with the boy and straddled him. Stan rose his eyebrows in wonder. He had made the interruption look so… like in passing. Craig caught Stan's eye and as he did, he soundly shared the words he had obviously wanted to say before. "It's about that". And when Craig mentioned it, Stan noticed. Tweek was all trembling on him, more than likely causing this humping effect. Stan grinned. True, Craig would probably never find a girl who worked like that. But he still didn't think that Craig was any more less of a fag than he had been before. He left in peace, knowing he would never get an answer to his question now.

-

At the bus stop Kyle met Kenny. Kenny, who seemed pretty occupied at making offhanded, dirty gestures towards the two girls on the other side of the street. The girls giggled and shook their fingers at him with scolds that were only betrayed by their huge smiles. Kenny presented how hard his heart was pumping for them and at that point Kyle was sure he could never be the one doing the same. And when he was around, neither could Kenny. So all the while Kyle was shaking the other boy from the shoulders and practically shouting his name, Kenny was giving the girls a saddened look and blowing air kisses. The situation broke down as Kenny smirked at Kyle.

"Kyle, Kyle, calm down man. I know why you're here."

Kyle glared at Kenny.

"I'm looking for Stan."

And he could have sworn Kenny didn't know that. The blond one of the two nodded slowly and shyly looked at his left. As guessed.

"Alrighty then… I know why you're shaking me like mad and screaming my name", Kenny thought about it for a moment, his face puzzled, "Oh… That came out real kinky, didn't it?"

Kyle bobbed his head incredulously and Kenny just shrugged it off innocently. He wondered if it was instinct or purpose that made Kenny put out everything he could as dirty. But Kyle had other issues anyway.

"So you heard."

Kenny stood to face the other direction from Kyle and looked up as if he was examining the weather. He then kneeled down to discover a thrown away cigarette pack.

"I don't mind if you two have hots for boys."

The pack was empty, a surprise to no one. Kyle wasn't really expecting Kenny out of all people to be against it, he who screw about everything that moved, but that didn't mean his words didn't have a value.

"Well… Thanks? I appreciate that…"

Now all he needed to do was to tell him that there was really no need for that, since against the general belief, he and Stan were not a thing.

"Less towards each other! I think it's great! And Stan's a nice catch."

Kenny winked and smiled so genuinely, Kyle almost wished he was together with Stan. He had to tell him the truth though, it was going to come out sooner or later... From Stan.

"Yeah, but…" Kyle figured Stan was probably the only one who didn't think they were gay, "we're not really together…"

Kenny furrowed his brows and now shot a very much intense stare at him, as if he could read the answer from his face. He was still in the ground.

"What do you mean? Why not?"

To Kyle, the whole conversation was getting a bit awkward. Or it would have, if it hadn't been Kenny, with whom he had had much odder conversations.

"Well he's not gay… And neither am I!" Kenny was still staring at him as if he didn't know the meaning of the words, "I'm not gay? … I do not like taking it up the ass?"

The blond smiled and got up, sweeping his pants on the way. He laid his other hand on his hip and with the other he patted Kyle on the back.

"That proves you are!"

It was not new to him that Kenny-logic was way different from the common logic, but this was just silly.

"I think you missed the point of the whole speech."

Kenny shook his head and Kyle wanted him to stop the damn smiling, start making sense and then help him find Stan.

"No, no. See, you are an obvious bottom, since you immediately thought about taking instead of giving, which pretty much scratches off the possibility of you being straight because a normal kid would think about giving it to girls and then adapt to boys, and whereas tops don't care who or what they give and thus are more often bi, bottoms are almost always gay, and although there are people somewhere in between this, I think we can both agree on it not concerning you…"

Kyle didn't really catch what Kenny was saying at all. Only random words here and there, which actually made less sense to him than the whole, freaking one sentence. It was too much, too fast.

"What "tops" and what "bottoms"? … Girls and boys?"

The guess was a pretty pathetic one, he knew it the second he had said it from the face Kenny was giving him.

"Kyle, you caveman! Come on, let's go tell everyone you're not gay!"

And before Kyle could even comprehend what Kenny was saying, the brightly clad boy was already going. After a thought or two, Kyle ran after.

"Wait! I thought you said I was gay!"

-

Stan had a feeling he was just running around randomly and hoping he'd get his eyes on Kyle. Eyes on in a different way everybody thought he already had. But it was just getting pointless. What were the odds he'd meet Kyle out of all people in South Park at the one place he went at that specific time? But… He scratched his head and looked around himself. For example, Kyle's house was a place he'd most likely go to at some point of the day. So… And then when he was just getting the hang of it, he saw a breathless Wendy standing in front of him. He let out a little laugh at the sight.

"What have you been doing?"

Wendy glared at him and started sorting out her clothes and hair. When she was finished, she huffed and threw her hair around her shoulder. But Stan didn't think all that made a real difference.

"I was trying to catch you. Why are you running so much?"

Funny, Stan hadn't noticed that he had been followed. He wondered for how long Wendy had been on his tail. Looked like at least for awhile.

"I'm searching for Kyle. Have you seen him?"

Wendy smiled, looked a way less annoyed with him and shook her head. Oh. It looked like Bebe hadn't been lying. Girls were on their side.

"No, but I…"

And that's when her phone rang. She motioned for him to wait. Stan nodded and watched as she had the casual "where I am and what am I doing" talk with the one at the other end of the line. But when she mentioned Stan, he was told to get on the phone. He took the mobile confusedly.

"Stan?"

He hadn't even looked with who he was going to have a talk with and which friend of Wendy's could have something to say to him, but oh well. Probably all of them with the rumor going around.

"Hello Stan. I heard you and the Jew-boy finally made it out of the closet. Congratulations."

Cartman? Why would he ever call her? Stan glanced at Wendy who was watching him rather innocently. Nevermind, he probably didn't want to know.

"Are you saying you didn't start the rumor?"

Which Stan highly doubted, but he was willing to play along for now. He could kick his ass at any time, but not through a phone.

"No, of course not. It'd be very unbeneficial for me. People'd think I were gay!"

Stan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, imagine that."

As if Cartman wasn't always the one who had the gayest dares ever and as if Cartman wasn't the one who always insisted theywere gay.

"Exactly. And I'm not a gay fucker. But this you and Kyle thingie…"

Cartman sighed exaggeratedly and at that time, Stan had probably never prayed so hard he'd get the ability to kick someone's ass through the phone. Wait, scratch that, he had talked with Cartman before.

"Not that I care about what you think, but we don't have a "thingie". We're not gay like everyone seems to believe."

And then he remembered Wendy, who was staring at him like he had just presented bulletproof evidence of the earth being flat.

"Oh really? I'll tell you what Stan, I don't believe you. But I don't mind if you agree to stay in the closet for a little longer."

Stan grinned charmingly at Wendy.

"What, are you giving me your blessing?"

Wendy looked fairly content again and Stan wondered what she would do after she found out they actually were not together.

"No. I'm helping you convince everyone you're not gay."

Stan rubbed his forehead and considered this. There was definitely something more than Cartman's reputation on the line as to why he wanted to help him.

"Don't lie to me when I ask you this: What are you getting from helping me? Who are you selling?"

Wendy reproached him with a look and a shook of her head. Stan ignored her. She obviously didn't know Cartman.

"I'm not getting anything from this. Though I did hear about the… shoplifting…"

The dark haired boy frowned and turned away from Wendy. Of course.

"Well if, and only if, your plan works, you can get… twenty-five percent of my share", Cartman muttered something that clearly had a disapproving tone to it, "Fine, fifty."

Stan would have given him the whole credit, but the less he offered, the more agreeable the fatass would be. As absurd as it sounded.

"Very well then. It was nice doing business with you. Meet me at Stark's pond in ten minutes."

Stan was going to say he just came from there but the other hung up before he succeeded to. He gave the mobile back, informed he had to go now and left the poor girl yelling after him.

-

Half of their school must have been at Stark's pond. He had no idea what all these people were doing there and he did not see Cartman anywhere. Wendy apparently had followed him again though and tried to talk to him. But Stan was occupied with all these people rapidly starting to harass him, screaming his name and asking about Kyle. Before he had the time to say anything, Cartman appeared, immediately starting to push him through the crowd. Then, in a blink of an eye, he was pushed on a bench, to face that crowd of people. Suddenly, everyone fell silent. All eyes were on Stan. Who was standing alone on the bench, no idea what he was supposed to do or say. Stan, who was slowly starting to panic.

"Stan!"

All heads turned into the direction of the yeller, including Stan's. Stan blinked.

"Kyle!"

Stan chose to ignore the "aww"-effect the crowd made after witnessing their so entirely gay cries for each other as if their dear lives depended on them. He considered jumping down from the "stage" and meeting Kyle in the halfway, but he was afraid of losing the boy's sight. Luckily, he didn't need to, since Kyle was running to him with Kenny on his tail.

"Sorry we're a bit late, buddy!"

Kenny laughed and he stumbled, trying to make his way over to Stan. Stan smiled at him and once they reached him, he helped Kyle up with him. Both of their eyes turned to Kenny, who just kept grinning and gave them thumbs up. He then disappeared amid the youngsters. They turned to each other.

"This is a sentence I never believed to have to say but… Come on Kyle, let's go tell everyone we're not gay".

Stan grinned as he heard the collective gasp. He turned to look at them triumphantly, all his lost confident returning to him once he got his friend by his side. Now he was ready to set everything straight, once and for all. Until…

"Stan, we need to talk."

Kyle grabbed his arm and forced him to face him. He had a very much serious face on whereas Stan had a very confused one. Someone from the crowd cheered, getting everybody else involved. The pair never broke the eye contact however. Stan had an odd feeling about what was coming.

"Do you…" there was no way he was going to say what Stan thought he was, "Do you remember anything from last night?"

A thought that proved out to be right. Stan breathed out hard and his eyes widened as if as an afterthought. He glanced at the crowd, which hadn't seemed to notice the comment over their cheering. Stan looked back at Kyle.

"Do you really think now is the time to talk about last night? No, not really", Kyle frowned and tensed visibly, "What, do you? ... Hey? Kyle? Kyle, what's wrong? Kyle?"

Kyle too stole his view on their audience. They were now quieting down again. Someone had obviously noticed something fundamental was being passed in between them. Whispering was probably not going to work in the dead silence. He switched his gaze over Stan.

"I think… it's possible… It's not certain! But… I think last night we… may have… made out. There, I said it."

Well at least Kyle made the public happy. Stan could have sworn he heard Craig, the little queer, yell something indecent to them. But Stan had a more essential problem to concentrate on. He tried and tried, but he couldn't remember. Anything. From last night. Except drinking. He sighed in defeat.

"Well, alright then. It isn't too bad."

Kyle relaxed and smiled gladly. Stan was okay with it. He could be okay with it. He didn't have the slightest idea why the crowd was so okay with it too. Shouldn't they be homophobic or something? But it didn't matter, as long as Stan was still okay. The boy in question nodded to him and turned to face the audience.

"We admit it! We may have made out! But…" the people didn't seem to be too inclined to grant him more speech-time, "Hey, hey, hey! I wasn't finished! There was a "but"! That does not mean that we have something romantic going on!"

Someone, possibly Red, made a loud notion of how sad Kyle looked. Stan furrowed his brows and glanced back at Kyle, who rolled his eyes and shook his head at him, having on this rather bored look. Stan smirked and returned to the crowd.

"Anyway… It was just a kiss! It could have been because of a dare, a bet, an attempt at impressing some girls or we could have just decided that "hey! I've never kissed you before! lets!"! But that doesn't mean we're gay. Even though it sounds incredibly much like it…"

He earned laughter for the comment and his surprised expression, as if he just realized that it was indeed quite gay for a boy to kiss his male best friend. Kyle smiled, knowing it was just his subconscious habit to charm his audience. Yes, Stan had unintentional charisma.

"Uh, anyway. We were drunk!" Kenny cheered at that, "See, there lays the keyword. When drunk, all your barriers come down and you show anger, affection and everything, all emotions more freely. Spanish… or Italian… people kiss relatives, friends and sometimes even complete strangers daily as a part of their culture! Some of you kissed your parents straight on the mouth when you were little and vice versa! It's no big deal! Just a small gesture to show your affection. Nothing intimate."

Stan flashed a grin at the people and scratched his head.

"Or maybe a little bit intimate, but as he said, we were drunk", Kyle continued, a smile spread on his face, "You know, maybe Americans should learn from those Spanish-Italians. If you think about it, there's really nothing wrong with showing affection towards your friends in the form of a kiss. But since I don't think we're ready for such measures… We can kiss our friends drunk, right?"

He locked his gaze with Stan who was the one to answer him back "right". Chatter slowly started to grow, obviously about whether or not they agreed with them. Stan and Kyle smiled at each other, smiles that said "no matter what the response, we're in this together". All of a sudden, a yell was heard.

"I say he's right! It's alright to kiss your bestest best friend when intoxicated!"

And with that surprisingly twitch free statement, Tweek pounced on Craig, who fell on the ground Tweek's tongue deep in his throat. Kyle laughed.

"Tweek, you homo, coffee doesn't count!"

That was Stan shouting and shaking his fist in the air, informing the boy of "completely ruining the idea of their presentation". However, it perked up the mood of the crowd, which started to cheer. All but Clyde who let out an exclamation and commanded Tweek to get off of Craig, with no luck. Stan was pouting and Kyle was grinning, quite compassionately, all the while someone was trying to invade the stage.

"Hello guys, I guess I'm really late now, but better late than never, yes?"