I loved writing the stories x) Because I never really do those things where a specific someone is telling the story anymore. Well, we're almost there. This is the second last chapter. The fic is overall I think pretty light. And my stuff has been getting really heavy to read ____ ... and write... But South Park can never be heavy! I should make more South Park stuff. I should also stop trying to kill space by random things like that... How you will now be energetic and write a review?
It was Jimmy. The question was said goodheartedly as he continued his travel up. The two boys already on the bench stared at him in confusion. Others also seemed to notice the newcomer.
"Um… Were you supposed to be in this act?"
Stan asked and glanced at Kyle, who shrugged. Stan wondered if Cartman had set it up, whereas Kyle wondered if it was Kenny's fault.
"No, not really… But I got a call from Timmy", Timmy waved from amidst the people, "that you two were admitting making out. I felt it my responsibility to come here and tell my story about last night."
If they had not been surprised before, they definitely were now. And both also thought that they definitely didn't need to hear the story behind how they ended up making out.
"I don't really think you need to…"
Kyle was interrupted by the screaming emitting from the audience, begging to differ. Stan groaned, Kyle rolled his eyes and Jimmy smiled warmly, finally standing on his crutches on the bench.
Jimmy's story
As you know, the party was kept at Token's house. Yes, Token, at your place. Yeah. That dance looks way better when you're sober, though it's still very bad. Yes you have. Last night. Everyone saw it. Anyway, it was a late evening and, obviously, about everyone was thoroughly wasted. Except me of course, because I've made a personal vow not to drink before I'm eighteen. I was there however, for I still cannot miss such an important social event, now can I? And because I can't let Clyde drink unsupervised or he'll burn the house down, call the French mafia over, eat Token's dog and catch HIV again.
"Hey! I haven't caught HIV! … No, I seriously haven't… Ow, Token! You've never even had a dog, goddamnit!"
Right. On with the story. At that time, I couldn't understand a thing you were saying. "You" as in a plural pronoun, because I really could not understand anyone who tried to talk to me enough for me to be able to form an actual conversation with them. I did hear Kenny tell about… No, don't worry, I'm referring to an earlier point in that evening, you were completely canned as fast as everyone else there, if not even faster… Kenny told that he had been shoplifting before that day with two of his friends. Yes, I think we all know who those two are and also who had not showed up at the party yet. Kenny was worried you had been arrested and said it was entirely his fault. In fact, he made a rather dramatic display of it, but that's irrelevant. I skip to the part where Stan and Kyle arrive.
Everyone joined in the screaming that followed. Stan was sitting on the back of the bench, ignoring the cheers. As did Kyle, who was sitting lower on the seat where it was supposed to be sat on.
Yes, they did come, Kevin, you were just too drunk to notice it. If you tune it down a little bit, I'll tell you the rest of the story. I have to admit, even though I do find you very pleasant fellows to talk to, the reason why I first came to you that evening was, other than from Clyde already passing out, that when you arrived, you were naturally clear. As opposed to everyone else. I had no expectations of you keeping it that way either, no, I just wanted some company for the time being. And you did not fail me on my expectations. Almost right after you arrived, you started gulping down the alcohol. Thank you, thank you, though I was just pointing out the obvious. Well, we were having a nice time. Stan and Kyle immediately started getting a little bit tipsy and along with it, playful.
No, they did not make out… They did not rape me either, Craig. Oh and congratulations, Clyde, on getting those two separated. Of course I knew it was your doings. I'll tell you when you're older. Well, after Kenny hears you have finally arrived, he comes around too. No, he doesn't "come around" per say, don't be silly people. He literally comes around. We chatter for quite awhile and at some point Eric and Butters along with him join our little group. At this time, I'd like to point out that this whole time Stan, Kyle and Kenny continuously kept on drinking. Meaning, they were rather drunk too by the time Eric and Butters came, wasted also. I stayed with them however, for, no one else was in any better shape, what point was there to change company? Anyway, we were at a living room, by the couches, quite close to the radio and those big speakers the Black family has. Suddenly, this song starts playing… You all know it, the cheerful song that they play at the radio all the time? The one that goes "Shake, shake, shake it" or something?
Yes, well, it turns out Butters is a big fan of that song. And Kenny doesn't hate it either. Because when Butters started rather expressively dancing to it, Kenny had no problem in following him seconds later. Meanwhile Stan and Kyle are laughing their heads off. Eric shouts something about them being fags. I thought it was pretty amusing. In midst of laughing, Stan asks Kyle to dance with him. Kyle happily agrees, takes Stan's hand and they make their way to the dance floor. They were as fast, equals as drunk, as to just make it to the second chorus. As the song progresses, more and more they seem to lose the idea of personal space… You know the part where it goes "if she touches like this, will you touch her like that?" Exactly! Things were getting pretty intense by then! I mean, gosh, it's good that they weren't doing it right then right there…
The crowd cheered so loud Jimmy had no choice but to stop the telling and wait for it to calm down. Stan had his head covered in his hands. Kyle was blushing madly and gazing away from everything.
No, they actually did not make out. I wasn't lying before, it was exactly like I told you it was, just that they for some reason did not end up taking it further. It was like… It was like a show. Like they were acting or something. The second the song stopped playing, they fell into another fit of laughter and Kyle, like it was all natural, actually fell into Stan's arms, who was wavering a bit to keep them both up, but succeeded anyhow. A joke, yeah, that's what it was. Apparently this is normal for you guys though? Because Kenny was laughing along too and he didn't seem to find it odd at all. Eric only name called you a little like everyone expected him to, but that was it. Soon the situation was over. Then you wanted to play "truth or dare" and if this is how you act every time when you're drunk, I'm seriously surprised that you've never made out before. No, no. I'm not calling you gay. You might as well be… very free minded alcoholics.
Well, as I think you two should have seen beforehand, it eventually came to Kenny daring you to make out. Yeah, there he is, in the back. Wave a little, Kenny. He's the one doing those very… creative gestures with his hips… As I was saying… They laugh at the dare, to put it shortly. And they care to inform us of how fag that is. Seriously, you guys should have seen yourselves dancing. Well then Kenny says that there's nothing wrong with being a little fag, or something like that. Which ends up with our two protagonists swaying Kenny to take up their dare. And he does. And he ends up kissing Eric. I do not actually know how he reacted to it. He kind of left us without a word and with this dazed expression upon his face… Yeah, Eric, it's easy to say now, isn't it? When you don't feel Kenny's soft, hot lips upon… Oh yeah, Stan and Kyle. They…
"What? Kenny and Cartman made out and they can even confirm it! Why are we focusing on us again?"
Because, Kenny makes out with everyone he can. Not to say you're a whore, but… Oh, okay then, you can be a whore if you want to… Ah, also that. Thank you, Bebe, for noting us. Eric isn't as hot as you two are. What? It's just a fact based on what people generally seem to find steamy… Think before you wish, Stan, if we were homophobic, you'd be in hospital by now. Now where was I… Yeah, you three view what happened as incredibly funny. And I cannot say I disagreed, but Butters did. He begins blaming Kenny for hurting the poor boy's feelings. Kenny states that he didn't know Cartman, Eric had feelings. Which gets the two into a heating argument. Then Butters storms off and Kenny follows. So, we're suddenly left alone in the room. You start recalling what just happened. And because you're definitely not coherent, you both admit to having never kissed a boy. I think there's a blunder exposed drunk and then a rape exposed drunk. If you had drunk a little bit less, you would have been on the former stage.
But since you didn't, both of you were on the latter. Which is why I think, ultimately, you did not make out then either. It might have crossed your minds, but still, you were too drunk to catch that thought. So instead, you just kind of… passed out. Stan mumbled something incoherent that I didn't understand, though Kyle looked like he did as he was nodding in agreement, and then he crawled up on the sofa and laid down. Kyle was quick to follow him and then they fall asleep together on the same couch. Even though there were at least two others in the room, I would know, I slept on one of them. The most likely reason as to why you woke up on the floor alone Kyle was that the sofa definitely wasn't wide and all you needed to do was turn a little and you would have, with the liability of hundredth percent, fallen. And that is how the evening went. There was unquestionably no time for them to make out without me seeing it, for every time they left the room, they didn't do it at the same time.
There was a deep silence that followed. Kyle cleared up his throat, planning to break it.
"So… We didn't make out?"
He was surprised himself by the way the story had progressed. Jimmy shook his head in absolute certainty and started struggling his way down the stage. Stan slammed his hand against his forehead.
"So… Was there a point in turning it into a tale? You know, you could have just said that you spend the evening with us and there was no way in hell we could have managed to make out without you noticing."
Jimmy shrugged and smiled.
"The people wanted to hear the whole story, right?"
The people he was talking about made a loud noise on agreeing with him. It was Stan's turn to roll his eyes for a change, before he spoke up.
"Then, there's no issue here, right? We didn't make out. Problem solved."
The comment was greeted by silence. One by one, the youngsters started bobbing their heads. Stan grinned, but when he glanced at Kyle, they boy look puzzled, almost disturbed.
"Then there must have been some other time you lads made out. The rumor wouldn't just randomly appear. Someone told it because something happened."
Pip voiced exactly what Kyle had been thinking at the moment. He didn't want to point it out, but now that it was already said, it didn't matter.
"Yeah, who the hell made up the rumor anyway? Because it obviously was made up."
Kyle inquired, trying to ignore the comment from Craig that guessed it was the dancing. Stan was wondering if the boy had been right all along. Both astonished when, against all odds, they got an answer.
"It was not made up! I saw you!"
The public remained silent. Butters wasn't really the most liable source in the whole wide world. But neither did he ever lie, which made the accusation worth listening.
"Oh yeah? Come up here and prove it!"
Kyle threatened and since Butters could surprise when under pressure… Kyle immediately regretted daring him, worried that Jimmy might have missed something that drunken night after all.
"Well… Maybe I will!"
All the while Stan was busy face-palming and praying to god they didn't have to hear another story about them loaded. The crowd easily yielded Butters to the stage.
Butters' story
It all starts with me and Eric going to the mall together. I had wanted to go the new candy store ever since it opened last week, but I was… forced to say home that week, so I couldn't. And Eric was just as nice to escort me there as he said he loved the place anyway. So, we go there and boy, isn't it a wonderful place! From wall to wall, shelves everywhere, filled with candy. And enough space for both of us to walk the aisle without bumping into each other or the shelves or anything else for that matter. Oh, and we saw Damien and Pip there! Eric first saw Pip only and asked him if he could get the bag of candy he just bought. But then Damien comes around the corner and his eyes flash really weirdly and Eric says we better go at the other side of the shop. I personally wouldn't have minded their company! Well, in the other side of the shop, we talk about this and that like the good friends we are. That is, until Kenny comes to topic…
"Be quiet everyone or I'll throw you onto the lowest pit of hell! He kept stalking me around! I couldn't just… If you had a stalker like him, you'd be protective too! … The lowest pit of hell, the lowest pit of hell!"
… Eric notes that they are "best friends forever". And that Kenny would even die for him… Thank you, Kenny… I would die for you too… And then he starts saying how nice he is to friend with the poorest kid in town and I say that I think Kenny is actually pretty cool. And then I… think is when it actually turned into this huge fight. It happened really slowly, the kind of way you don't even realize it's happening, when suddenly you just storm out of the store with nothing in hand and end up being totally lost. Yeah, well, that's what happened to me actually. First I was in store with Eric and the next second I had no idea if I was even at the mall anymore. Life sure knows how to mess you up, huh? I don't know what to do, so I just sit down on a nearby bench, bury my head into my hands and I must have looked downright miserable at that time. I have proof actually, because I've hardly managed sitting there ten minutes and some random clown comes over and offers me a lollypop.
"Did you just say a clown?"
Yeah, Stan, like the one you had in your birthday party when we were younger. Now my parents always say that I shouldn't take candy from strangers, so I decline. He then sits down next to me and tells me not to cry because "surely a smile would fit better on that beautiful face of yours". That's what he said to me. The clown called me beautiful… Yes, he knew that I was a boy! Well then he asks me to join his circus. Now I don't even know what circus it was, but I said no of course, since I have no experience in that business and I don't think I could leave my home this young. Then it gets a little confusing… He says something like, good, because he wasn't in the traditional circus anyway, he was a whore and it was his client's fantasy to do a clown, he'd only make me cry more if I came with him and he couldn't promise me he could stay put it one place, since it's in the circus's nature to go from door to door.
If the crowd had been soundless before, it was nothing like the silence it could now produce. Butters looked puzzled while everyone else just stared at him as if he was high, crazy or both.
Then he offers me the lollypop again and I figure that never such an honest, true and gentle clown could ever give me something weird, so I take it. He admits that he must go before the cops get him, but just so I know, there's a map of the mall right there, in case I got lost. The clown flees off and that's the last I've seen of him. But there really was this big map where he pointed at. Which was of really great help to me. I have never appreciated those "you are here" –dots as much as I did then. I just choose the closest exit sign to me since I figured that if I choose the main entrance, I would get lost before I arrived. Once I got it memorized, I went on my merry way! Though it was very hard to find… I eventually came to this… shadowy hallway with one grey door at the end of it. I thought it was pretty suspicious… Wait, what was wrong with the clown and the lollypop? Kyle? What do you mean suspicious? It was a kind clown! Huh? I don't get it…
Well at first I think to myself, there is no way I'm going there. But then I see Craig and those other guys! Yeah! Now save those cheers for later. I don't know why it's always Craig and those guys anyway. It should be Craig and his bitches or something. What? Stop glaring at me, Token! That's scary! And Stan and Kyle will stop laughing right now! Well I'm glad that someone agrees with me ... Eric taught me. Yes. I guess so. Now what was I even talking about! Stan and Kyle? Oh yeah! Craig and those guys! So Craig is sitting there in that hallway, on a bench. Clyde is sitting on his… left side, his face buried in and hands around Craig's chest and neck... In that order. Head chest, hands neck. Did that make sense? Token is then on his right side, though not really on his side, because he's actually sleeping his head in Craig's lap. Of course you don't remember it, you were sleeping.
Naturally, Tweek is there too. But oddly, he is sitting in front of Craig and somewhat under his feet, since he's clutching like mad to Craig's other leg, holding it in his hug. He's in this sort of a panic, eyes wide open, rocking himself a little and muttering something. Craig himself just has this deadpan frown upon his face, he is looking straight forward and patting Clyde gently, in a steady rhythm on the back. See what I mean? They're all over the boy! Uh, I feel like there's this fragile moment going on there so I just… move forward in the hallway, not really thinking it through much. But then I'm already at the exit. It slightly worries me that there's no light on with what comes to the exit sign, but I decide that I must try anyway. That rather than walking all the way back again, the four… two… Actually, now that I think about it, I think only Craig would have noticed me wandering the hallway back and forth and he already had his hands full…
Of course Stan and Kyle are going to turn up, they're what this story's all about. I'm just explaining how I got there … What do you mean "unimportant"? But Craig! Jimmy got to tell his story! … Well they are coming... In any case, I walk through the door and arrive at this dark valley, which is kind of suitable after a shadowy hallway. There are these suspicious trash containers against the wall and it's all very messy, but I can see the light of the outside world at the very end of it. I start walking forwards, but I don't even make the first few steps when suddenly there are people right in front of me, like out of nowhere. I dodge and lunge behind the closest trash can. Guess who there was? Stan and Kyle! Though all I managed to see was Kyle in Stan's arms and their dreamy gazes into each other's eyes. I tried not to be a creepy peek so I kept hiding, but I could still clearly hear them talking. Kyle asks, totally out of breath, that "Is it just me, or did we just make out?" I remember it from word to word, that's what he said.
There were cheers and there were whistles to be heard. A loud "I told you so" was also shouted, evidently by Wendy. Stan and Kyle remained as expressionless as possible.
And what Stan says? He says "yeah". Yeah! There's no doubt! The next thing I hear is him laughing, I think in the kind of way that yells aftershock. Kyle soon joins him and then when I look over my hiding place, I see them running away, hand in hand into the sunset. I get up and out of the place too. When I come out, I see that I'm lost again. But I figure that if I follow the wall, I at least cannot lose the mall and at some point I must come to the front. That is, if I was at the mall... To be honest, I now know that I was there and I did find the entrance, where I easily knew the road back home. Later, Eric phoned me and we talked and were all good and decided to meet at the party at Token's. I didn't tell him about you guys, because I thought that you wanted to come out yourself. But then the pressure became a little too big and I told Kenny at that very same party. But I swear, I told no one else!
