The first thing that comes into his mind was that telling Kenny a secret he's been left out of in a party while he's drunk is basically the same thing as telling everyone. The second was…

"I was planning to comment on the story being pointless, but dude! I can never thank you enough for telling that to absolutely everyone. You know Craig and the…"

Stan, in no way concentrating on the important and earning several glares from Token, and Clyde, who used Craig's omnipotent middle finger to flip him off. Craig himself was pretty nonchalant, meanwhile Tweek was stressing out.

"You still made out. But as I said, I only told Kenny. Someone must have overheard us, since everybody seems to know now…"

Is how Butters woke up all of those who this "everybody" consisted of. The cheers echoed by the pond. Kyle was speechless. Stan just sighed.

"Alrighty, everyone, we'll tell the story this time."

Only then he realized that Kyle looked pretty out of it. Stan furrowed his brows and Kyle let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head.

"Ah… What are we supposed to tell these people again?"

The black haired one of the two blinked. Had he forgotten?

"What, you don't remember?"

Kyle in fact never remembered having that conversation. He certainly would have remembered talking about making out with Stan. Talking with Stan.

"No, I don't… When?"

Not that he wouldn't have remembered a talk about him and Stan making out. Honestly, he did recall a few of those.

"Yesterday? We saw those four too!"

Stan was grinning and making these wide gestures with his hands and at the exact second the very last of his words reached Kyle's ears, it clicked.

"Ooh… Yeah I remember! How come I didn't see the connection?"

Kyle locked the other boy into a staring contest, jaw dropped as if staring Stan would make him remember the whole conversation. Stan thought he would disturb his thoughts if he looked away so he looked back.

"Just quit the eye-fucking and tell the story already!"

They both glared at where they thought Damien would be. Interestingly enough, they looked at different directions and neither saw him.

Stan and Kyle'sstory

It's probably obvious by now that our story begins in the mall. And the ones who summed up two plus two know that it would be yesterday, before the party that was also yesterday, and Jimmy just told that Kenny had told that we had been shoplifting earlier that day. So, currently in the story, we are at the mall, shoplifting. Although, Stan and I didn't shoplift anything really. We just helped Kenny to. But, we didn't steal anything and Kenny will say we lied! Meaning, no one tattles about us, alright? Not even Cartman! Then you will not hear this story! Then you can't tattle and you will be the only one who doesn't know how we made out! Yeah, you fatass, that's exactly right! Am not! Shut up, you know nothing you wide piece of…

Anyway! As Kyle here said, we were supposed to help Kenny out. Our job was actually pretty simple. All we needed to do was hang in the grocery store Kenny wanted to clean out and pretend that we were there to buy stuff. Yeah, grocery store. Because, you know, food is a lot better than clothes anyway… Better to steal, better to steal! Girls! Because food costs less! We do less damage!

"And because Kenny has no money and needs food to live!"

Didn't I tell you to shut up? I don't want to continue it! No, we aren't clearly recognizable in the mall's tapes, we were disguised of course. I was dressed as an emo and Stan was dressed as a flamboy… What do you mean flamboy suits me better? Why? Why do you say that? Not the "bottoms" again, Kenny, I have no idea what that means!

Uh… Actually, we knew that it would suit me better to be emo, which is why I didn't dress as one. We'd be all the more unrecognizable…

Emo suits Stan, flamboy doesn't suit me any better than Stan!

Well… yeah. It actually didn't since flamboys are very vain about their hair and we of course couldn't show off our natural hair. So we needed to wear wigs. But what wig would fit on his huge… afro… But yeah, our job was not only to pretend we were shopping there. At some point of our time there, Kenny would send us a text message that said nothing in particular. But the text message was a sign that we should make a scene.

Jason was kind enough to cut in by loudly informing everybody that they made out. The comment roused a wave of screams over the mob.

No we didn't… Of course we didn't wrestle either, you idiot. Stan was supposed to start yelling at me for hitting on his girlfriend, I would shout something emo back and deny it, Stan wouldn't believe me and so on. We would need to shout so loud it would "disturb other customers", capture the attention of the security and we be thrown out after refusing to stop. Simple. But of course it wasn't. Turns out the security person that was ordered to take care of us saw it as her life mission to solve all the relationship she ever comes across. And is really stubborn. We try to be as hard as possible and as stupid as possible, but the woman just won't give up. I mean come on! We started fighting about a muffin I ate when we were in elementary school that Stan had wanted the half of!

The lady won't let us leave before we make up and we couldn't make up, because then we would have to pay for all the stuff we had been piling in our baskets but had no intention to buy. So we grab into our last resort: homophobia. Kyle screams that he wouldn't try my girlfriend because he's in love with me. I look at him, shocked, and then utter very dramatically how he should have told me before it got too far with me and my girlfriend and now it was too late. Shut it, Token. And to answer your question: no. We did not reenact the turning point in our relationship. You're just pissed because Butters told everyone just slept with a boy. Well you did! Can you deny?

Stan didn't even scream anymore after my confession of love. But turns out that the woman's life mission didn't include gay relationships. She is pretty quick to throw us both "fags" out.

God bless America for intolerance!

Exactly. She only throws us out of the store though, not the whole mall. Which is when Stan declares he is thirsty and wants a soda. Of course. When we should be running out of the place and pretending we have some great drama going on between us, he decides it's a good idea to casually go for a drink.

A drink where we can have a serious talk about everything that supposedly happened. Duh, Kyle.

We can't act that well. Duh, Stan. I agree anyway, because it wasn't that possible they would realize we were a part of a crime. At that point, they didn't even know about any crimes. We start wandering through the mall in search for the first place that served sodas. Not as an easy task as you'd imagine it to be. All there is are clothes. We never actually succeeded in that task. We run into Craig and the… Craig's gang, on the way. You know, they were slightly differently positioned than how Butters described them. Craig is still sitting there and Clyde is next to him. Token is sleeping there where Butters said he was, though not in Craig's lap, but against the wall. Tweek is pacing a circle just in front of them, repeating "Jesus Christ" and "Too much pressure" over and over again. Craig, like Token, is also leaning against the wall, his hands behind his neck. Clyde on the other hand is crying uncontrollably. I'm thinking to myself, what the hell.

And I'm thinking how on earth can Token sleep in that noise. But we go there and we ask what the matter with Clyde is. Tweek is quick to inform us that they don't know and… Well if I put it short, that's what he was stressing on. Kyle asks them if they have even asked him. Craig makes a face and we take it as a yes. That's when Kyle slaps… Uh, yes, "hits" Clyde in the face, which gets Clyde screaming about something being broken. We still don't know what, but then he clings onto the poor unexpecting boy next to him. I personally think it was his heart that was broken.

"The exit sign! I was talking about the exit sign! … I broke it?"

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Clyde stops crying immediately after he has gotten his worries out. Maybe because of the sudden quietness, Token slides across the wall behind him to lay his head against Craig's shoulder. Unfortunately, since Clyde's hands have already taken up most of the space, you have no room there and your head continues its way into Craig's lap. Craig's, who by the way looks pretty pissed by then…

I think Clyde wants him to, so I order Craig to start comforting him. Craig gives me back a… fine presentation of his middle finger, but he starts patting Clyde on the back anyway. Tweek lets out a cry about how Craig is his and doves under Craig's legs. And that's when we meet Kenny. Actually he literally ran into Stan. He explains something too fast again and pushes the bag he apparently just stole into our arms and springs off again. On Kenny's tail, a bunch of security guards hasten towards us. Seeing as they probably just realized that we were accomplishes, we run into the "shadowy hallway", the one that Butters was talking about, and run through the closest door to us which of course just happens to be not just any bathroom, but the ladies one. Yeah, how great is that? As a positive side, they probably didn't know to expect that. At least we didn't see them afterwards, but they might have gone after Kenny too.

I say that Kyle was the one who chose the door though. Soon we see a window and figure we can fit through it. But we've hardly had the time to get started on that when the door handle turns. We storm as fast as we can into the nearest closet. I sit on the vessel and Kyle sits on the toilet seat. Someone comes in and I don't really want to talk about it more, so I'll just say she also went out. We come out of the closet…

The comment was enough to wake up every single one of the audience and draw a sound out of them. Stan groaned and smacked his hand against his forehead.

Not like that! A real, solid… water closet? WC? Toilet! Right. Trying to be quick, we lift a garbage can upside down, get up to push the window open and then we go through. The window lead to this alley… I won't bother describing, because Butters already did that. I go first. Then Kyle pushes the bag to me, so nothing would break, and struggles out of the bathroom himself. He stumbles when he hits land, so I have to capture him before he falls over.

I think that's the moment Butters first caught when he walked outdoors. Since, right after, I ask Stan if we made out. This will be good for you guys. Made out as not in kissing and such. Made out as in getting out of something. Stan says yeah and then we hear an announcement coming from the speakers that instructs us, in case we see a clown running around, to capture it and bring it to the closest security person. We start laughing because of probably the weirdest announcement we've ever heard and, because it's Kenny they're talking about, they would most likely just end up capturing a bloody, most definitely dead clown. Oh yeah, didn't we mention it? He was disguised as a clown. Don't look so surprised Butters. The speech he kept was a little too obvious. And Kenny's a whore, I think we've established as much.

Anyway, I begin pulling Kyle with me, telling him that we should go to our place where there are games and something to drink, god damn it, because I was still thirsty. When we get home, my home, the first thing we do however is empty the bag we scored. We notice that, in there, there are tampons, sanitary towels, liter and a half -bottle of coke, cookies and boys shoes too little for both of us. Then we figure Kenny has gone absolutely mad. But we drink the coke and eat the cookies anyway. Kyle eventually takes the shoes home, planning to give them to Ike. The tampons were left at our place. I thought someone from the opposite sex in our household would find them useful, though after our bet, I guess Cartman gets half of them, right? Don't look so down. Sell them or something. Now, now, wash your mouth.

Only later we find out that it wasn't the bag Kenny had stolen, but it was some middle aged woman's, who in turn had our bag. Apparently, we left the bag outside the toilet in the bathroom and the woman mistook it as her own. Kenny succeeded to retrieve the bag in a way that we reputedly don't want to hear. Kenny kept the bag to himself, because we were the ones who screwed up and because we clearly hadn't planned on leaving anything for Kenny from the woman's bag. Stan offered him tampons, but for some reason they didn't suffice…

The crowd looked anticipatory. Stan crossed his arms and raised his brow expectantly, waiting for the first one to ask the question. Kyle looked thoughtful.

"So… you didn't make out?"

Pip's voice broke down his wait and Stan opened his mouth to retort, but then he noticed Damien next to the British with flaming eyes. His jaw dropped and he halted in mid-motion.

"No, we did not. And if someone still has some evidence to prove that wrong, please, do present it now so we can instantly crush it."

Kyle covered, waving a hand in front of Stan's face. Stan snapped out of it, blinking and shaking his head. A hand was raised among the youngsters. Kyle rolled his eyes and nodded towards it.

"Was Kenny really the clown?" he nodded again, "Did Kenny really call me beautiful?"

Kyle would have wanted to say "obviously", but Butters didn't seem to address him anymore. His eyes were directed at someone else.

"Uh… yeah? I… did?"

Kenny smiled awkwardly and looked around himself. Butters kept staring at him blankly. He then sighed and pushed people over to make his way to Kenny.

"I guess there's only one thing I can do…"

The slightly older blond shut his eyes on a reflex as Butters stopped right in front of him. When Kenny felt something on his neck, he opened them again.

"Butters?" he blinked, "Butters, what the hell? What are you doing? … Actually, why are you carrying this thing around in the first place?"

Butters turned around and switched his gaze from Kenny to Stan and Kyle on the bench, maintaining the good hold he was having on the leash with Kenny on the end of.

"Because. You said you couldn't promise staying put in one place. Well, I'm making sure you will for you. If you behave like a good boy till next Saturday, I will give you a treat. If you know what I mean."

Kenny ogled at the boy before him, dumbstruck. He felt someone tugging the hem of his shirt, but he didn't pay any further attention.

"Come one, Kenny, let's go. That's just embarrassing. You don't want to be Butters' bitch, that's just low. You can easily take that off."

Kenny made a slow movement with his head that implied disagreement to Cartman's suggestion. His eyes never left their target.

"No… That's… That's pretty hot actually…"

Now Cartman looked dumbstruck and all the way back on the stage, Stan started laughing. The eyes of the audience turned towards him. Kyle grinned and spoke up.

"Come on, let's get out of here, everyone. There are no more mysteries left to solve."

After considering it for almost three whole seconds, there seemed to be no one who didn't concur. Kyle hopped happily down from the bench, turning towards Stan.

"Finally over!"

Stan climbed down more cautiously and swept his pants as if they were dusty. He then raised his head and grinned at his friend.

"I think that'll keep them in order for a couple more weeks."

Kyle flinched, like he had just received an actual punch, but recovered soon enough. He glanced at the crowd preparing to leave.

"So what do we do now? Got any ideas?"

With his expression turning into a more serious one, Stan eyed him dubiously. Kyle noticed it and watched back at the other, though displaying curiosity instead.

"Actually… I was thinking…" he kept a pause to add drama, "Do you want to make out?"

Kyle halted. Stared. And then practically jumped on Stan, firmly pressing their lips together. Stan stumbled and fell on the ground, but it only stopped them for a little while. Kyle straddled the boy under him and continued to kiss him ferociously. Hardly a half a minute later, he had to pull out for breath. Breath, and the fact that he truly had something to say.

"You have no idea how many times I've been told today about you and me making out and not once got to actually do it."

Stan laughed, then took him by surprise by flipping their positions over and merging their mouths together, easily sliding his tongue inside, not that Kyle minded it at all. Both of them failed to notice that their audience had actually yet to leave and were staring at them wide-eyed. Before of course starting to cheer. Token rolled his eyes and turned to Clyde.

"All that trouble for nothing. They go through so much trouble to prove everyone they didn't make out, and then they make out. Are we seriously the only guys in our class not gay?"

Clyde shrugged and turned to face him. Someone, he didn't recognize who, bumped into him, making him crash into Token. He winced.

"I think Kevin Stoley might be straight."

Token looked back at him and at that moment, their eyes locked. For a lingering moment, they just kept staring at each other. Until Token also got bumped into and he awakened.

"No way, man, no way! I'm not getting gay with you!"

He jumped slightly away from Clyde, who frowned and shot daggers at him. A slight blush graced the latter boy's cheeks.

"Jesus, Token, that's what you were thinking about? I was thinking about lesbian mud wrestling."

Token shook his head and decided it was better not to question him, because he certainly did not want to hear an explanation as to why he was thinking that while looking at Token. Instead…

"Let's go find Craig."

The brunettes eyes lit up and he nodded. Both he and Token turned on their heels, only to be greeted by an endless mass of people, bigger than it had been before.

"Yeah, let's go find Craig", Clyde licked his lips absentmindedly, "Though we have to make out first."


The next part will be about Clyde and Token going through the same thing! Nah, I'm just kidding (or am I? ___) Haha, yes, you saw it coming ;D There was absolutely no way Stan and Kyle could remain straight through the whole fic with the topic in question. Anyways, thank you very much for those few comments, it makes me glad to know that someone was reading this :3 As of now this fanfiction is complete!