"I'll miss you" she smiled as she stood on her tip toes and hopped to kissed Remus's cheek
"I'll miss you too Mum, I'll write when I can"
"Be careful!" she shouted as Remus walked away, though her shout was like a normal person's speaking voice
*
"I'll write you everyday" she squeezed James tightly "I love you, so very very much"
"Okay mum... thanks"
"Dorea, you're embarrassing the poor boy" said James's dad prying his wife off his son "If you need anything just write. Remember to go to all of your Quidditch practices and do all your homework"
"Right"
"Stay out of trouble!" she called as he tried to get on the train "LOVE YOU!!!"
*
"Hurry up Reg" yelled Sirius impatiently
"Bye Mother" snivelled Regulus as he dragged his feet over to Sirius, away from their mother
"Regulus move it! I want to see my friends!!!" Regulus walked faster, dragging both their trunks
"Can you take your trunk?"
"No, I'm carrying our brooms" he waved the brooms in Regulus's face "See?"
"I'll be happy to carry mine..."
"Stop bitching, we're practically on the train"
"We're not even in the station!"
*
"If James or Sirius are ever nasty to you, you write to me and I'll have word with their mothers"
"Yes mummy" nodded Peter
"remember, you are a very clever, handsome, talented boy"
"Yes Mummy"
"I love you Peter" she kissed him and hugged him tightly "You're the best son a mother could ask for"
"Thanks, I love you too mummy" Peter wiped away a stray tear as he boarded the train. He looked around the compartments for his friends, James's head appeared from a door to the left of Peter
"We're in here Pete!" Peter chose his seat carefully, sititng as close to James and as far away from Remus as was possible. He had been completely terrified of the boy since the day he attacked Malfoy, he wondered how he'd gotten roped into becoming an animagus for him. He'd made very little progress compared to Sirius and James, who were already full animagi. All Peter could manage was the ears, the whiskers and a bit of fur.
"I got your letter about the hospital" he mumbled at Remus "Are you alright now?"
"I'm quite wonderful if I do say so myself" He beamed "And how were your holidays Peter?"
"Fine" he said forlornly
"Missing your mum already?" sniggered James, playfully slapping Peter's back
"No, don't be stupid, I just hate school. It's for nerds"
"I s'pose the three of us are nerds then" shrugged Sirius
"You and James like school?"
"Well, yeah. It's hard work, but it's worth it, don't you think?" asked James
"Yeah,
I do"
"But you just said you hated it" said Sirius, entirely
out of spite
"I
did, but I didn't mean it"
"Why would you say it then?"
Sirius continued. Peter was flustered, he began a garbled reply
before Remus cut acroos him
"Leave him alone Sirius" he said from behind his newest book, not even looking up from it. Lily Evans opened the door to their compartment
"Evans! It's been too long! Come, sit down" said James
"No thanks, there isn't really enough room"
"You can sit here" he guestured towards his lap, she glared at him
"I'm only here to speak to Remus, Potter you pervert" her expression softened "I heard you were in hospital over the summer, are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's fine, I had a weird accident with my broom. Punctured a lung"
"Ooo that must have hurt!"
"mmm, it did. I'm alright now though. How did you find out?"
"Severus said he saw you. He also said Potter and Black attacked him again" she glowered at them
"He was asking for it, snooping as always" Sirius glared back at her
"You went to visit Remus in hospital without me?" asked Peter, they were always leaving him out
"No... we just forgot to write and tell you till after he left" said James sincerly
"I was only there for one day" nodded Remus reassuringly
"I was there with mum at work and Sirius..."
"... I ran away from home for a few days! So I was staying with James" Sirius continued for James
"Yeah, that's it!" James nodded in agreement
"Oh, alright" Peter smiled.
"Any way, I doubt Severus was snooping" said Lily angrily "He said, he was just innocently looking around and Potter pulled him into the room and started verbally abusing him" James shook his head
"Verbally abusing? Bull shit, name calling"
"Whatever. Then he said Black attacked him"
"He was asking for that" said James warningly
"Why would he ask for it? That's such a stupid thing to say! Remus, can I speak to you away fom these idiots?"
"Alright"
Lily grabbed Remus by the arm and dragged him out the compartment, into an empty one near by
"It's not fair" huffed James "She's always dragging Remus off and talking to Remus. Why won't she talk to me?"
"Because you start being a prat whenever you see her" laughed Sirius
"I do not!" sulked James
"You do to, you just told her to sit on your lap, that's not the way you romance a girl like Evans" said Sirius matter of factly
"And how would you know how to "romance a girl like Evans" I only ever see you with slags" he glared
"Exactly, you're trying to pull Evans like you would try and pull a slag, what you should do..." Peter drifted off in the middle of Sirius's speech on how to pull classy girls. He stared out the window, watching the landscape whip by them, waiting for the witch with the trolley of sweets to come by. He closed his eyes and drifted off into a light pleasant sleep.
*
"How's the whole you and Sirius situation going?" Lily goaded, chucking Remus into the nearest empty compartment
"We discusssed it in 2 letters over the holidays, it was nothing, so I think we're just ignoring it" he shrugged
"What! That's... but... you're in love with him"
"I'll get over him" he said, feeling a lurching no you fucking won't feeling in his chest
"He kissed you! That might mean he's gay as well!"
"Not neccesarily, I think he just wanted to give it a go"
"Surely, if he wanted to do that he would have found someone else to "give it a go" with"
"Name one other openly gay boy in Hogwarts" said Remus placing an indignant hand on his hip, she puased
"I can't"
"Exactly, for that moment I was nothing more than an experiment to him, it meant nothing. It kills me to admit it. But it meant nothing"
"But it can't have meant nothing to you"
"It meant everything" he said feeling a familiar lump in his throat "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm just going to get over him"
"How have your dreams been?"
"I don't think they've ever been dirtier. It's like they get worse for everynight I'm not lying in the arms of Sirius" he said self mockinly but ashamedly
"Oh god" she said smiling "do you..." she clearly couldn't think of anything she could offer him, or anything she could do to help "do you... want a hug?" Remus, was surprised by his answer; a slow nod and a quiver of the lip. Followed by Lily's arms being thrown round his neck. She stretched her neck and placed her forehead against his, she tilted her head, Remus kept his straight. She went forward, Remus leant back.
"Lily, don't-"
Depite his attempts to avoid this, her lips connected softly with his, she stretched her hands up into his hair
"What the fuck?" Remus pushed Lily off him, to see James and Sirius standing at the door "What the hell is going on here?" asked James. Remus shrugged
"I've no idea"
"You're supposed to be my friend, you back stabbing fag!" James stormed out
"James! Wait, it's not his fault! I kissed him! JAMES!" called Lily, running after him. Sirius was left standing in the door way.
"Why do you always attract such innapropriate romantic attention?" he said shaking his head and smirking
"I'm just unlucky I suppose" Remus said, wiping Lily's saliva from his bottom lip, finger's lingering there for a moment. His lips buzzed from the strange sensation of the kiss. "I kissed a girl"
"Did you like it?" asked Sirius kicking the compartment door closed behind him
"No... it was weird. She was all soft and fruity... and she didn't have any stubble" they smiled wryly at each other
"That's what girls are like... soft" Sirius took a step towards him
"hmm" Remus reciprocated the step
"So... you know what happened on the last day of term" he smiled enticingly
"mmhmm" Remus raised his eyebrows and smiled crookedly, a guesture which he hoped was equally entrancing
"I-" Sirius was cut off by Peter stumbling into the compartment
"Where'd everybody go? The witch with the food is here – thought you'd want to know" said Peter. Remus acctually could have killed him
"Oh... you hungry Remus?"
"I suppose" he replied, blowing his hair irritably out of his eyes. He recognised the look Sirius had had in his eyes, the smile, that tone of voice, both of which seemed to scream kiss me. He hadn't really been able to get the memory of their kiss out of his head over the summer, every fleeting touch they'd had in the hospital had been added to a special Sirius based memory bank. That voice, that smile and that look now consecrated for Remus, he saw it everytime he closed his eyes.
*
Now school had begun again, things were strange between Remus, James and Lily. She had explained to both Remus and James that what she did was a very misguided friendly guesture, that Remus had looked so upset and vunerable that, all of a sudden, he looked quite appealing and that she had a very strange rush of feeling for him and that once that rush of feeling had subsided he was nothing more than her friend again. She apologised again and again to Remus and even once to James who had become oddly cold and ignorant of both Lily and Remus since. Though after a few weeks, he was beginning to warm round to and forgive Remus, he hadn't really looked at Lily with anything other than contempt. Lily often questioned Remus about James, as if she missed the attention. Remus just wished things could be normal again, especially with Sirius. Remus found himself staring at Sirius in all of their lessons together. The only lesson his grades hadn't dropped in was Arithmancy, his only Sirius free class. Everytime Remus saw him, it was like torture, his lips called out to have Sirius pushed against them. It didn't help now that Sirius seemed to take any oppourtunity he had to touch Remus, hardly a day would go by without Sirius touching his shoulder or his arm or giving him a hug. He even went as far as to pull him into wrestling matches which usually ended with Sirius straddling his crothch or his chest and Remus flushed with embarresment and craving Sirius all the more. It was as if Sirius was deliberately trying to make sure Remus couldn't get over him. On halloween Remus and Sirius were alone in their dorm, Peter and James were off hexing Slytherin's some where, Sirius had begun to get ready for the feast half an hour early and Remus was on his bed flicking through a book his mother had sent him on healing charms, after he had expressed a desire to be able to heal his own wounds.
"Do you think my hair looks better straight or natural" asked Sirius, standing topless, infront of the mirror with his wand, tapping his head to straighten his hair
"You are so shallow" snorted Remus
"Shut up, just humour me"
"Oh... natural then, that slight curl at the end suits you"
"That's what I thought. That Hufflepuff girl... what was her name..."
"Cecilia Cooke?"
"Is she the one with the long brown hair, the biggish nose and the boobs?"
"No, Cecilia is blonde, it sounds like you're thinking of Mairanne Ball"
"Whatever, anyway, this Marianne girl, she said she thinks I look better with straight hair"
"You don't though"
"I know! But she says I do"
"Who cares wht she thinks? Unless you're trying to sleep with her" said Remus, trying not to sound completely furious with envy
"Don't be silly Remus" he sighed with relief inwardly "I already did two weeks ago"
"What!?" gaped Remus, setting his book down
"Yeah, she's been stalking me a little since, giving me tips on what to with my clothes and hair... she keeps calling me Siri... ugh"
"I hadn't noticed"
"That's because she only strikes when I'm at my most vunerable" he gave a little shudder
"So why do you care what she says about your hair?"
"I don't, I was just wondering what you thought"
"Oh" Remus really needed to get his blushing under control
"Why did you sound so upset when I said I'd already slept with her?"
"I did not! Even if I did I wasn't!" lied Remus
"You so were. You're jealous of my bitches aren't you Remus?"
"I'm not" he lied again "And don't call the poor girls you sleep with your bitches, it's very crude"
"I'll call them what I want... unless you're trying to start something here?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are you trying to start a fight? Trying to defend the honour of Black's bitches?" said Sirius playfully walking over to Remus's bed
"Sirius, I'm not in the mood right now"
"Don't back out now Rem, just because you're scared you'll lose"
"I will not!" Remus launched him self onto Sirius, knocking him onto the ground and pinning him. They tumbled around on the floor, Remus enjoying the feeling of Sirius's bare skin and muscle against his hands, Remus foiling Sirius's every attempt to get the better of him. Now Straddling Sirius Remus laughed "This is why you don't fight with a werewolf" he said holding Sirius's wrists to the floor
"I've been waiting for this to happen"
"What?"
"I wanted to see when you'd finnally get sick of losing, and use this bone crushing wolf strength you're so frightened of" smirked Sirius "It's quite impressive"
"It should be" sniggered Remus "I could kill you if I wanted"
"I'll try to stay on your good side then. Though I suppose being half naked and underneath you, I can only be on your good side" he smiled flirtatiously
"You do flatter yourself Black" Sirius did look insanely beautiful beneath him. Eyes alight with mischeif, hair messy and body glistening with a thin coating of sweat. Remus released him and stood up, missing the feeling of a Sirius between his legs. This incident was sure to inspire some particularly sordid dreams.
"Aww, I was enjoying that"
"Shut up" scowled Remus "And put a shirt on"
"You say that as if you aren't enjoying looking at my sexy body" he said comedically running his hands down his stomach, Remus laughed and threw a pillow at him "I'm not putting a shirt on, because I'm going to take a shower" Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus and threw the pillow back
"Fair enough" shrugged Remus, wondering if there was a way he could learn to transfigure himself into a tap or a shower head.
*
Sirius was having difficulty controlling what he could only identify as a crush on one of his best friends. He knew this was fruitless, as Remus clearly had no interest in him what so ever, and that it would pass in time, as most crushes do, and even that a crush on someone of your own sex was perfectly normal but there was something about it being Remus that made Sirius uneasy. He had never had a problem with gays, any of them; having a crush on a boy would usually be an expeirience that Sirius would find interesting but he decided that this crush on Remus needed to be nipped in the bud, before it could blossom into something more intense. It really wasn't helping that he still had the memory of their kiss burned into his mind, he remebered the feeling of Remus sitting on top of him that day down by the lake, and had gone to ridiculous attempts to get this feeling back; he'd started getting into thse ridiculous wrestling matches with Remus, in the hope he might pin him, just so Sirius could have the sensation of Remus's crotch pushed onto his chest. So far this had been unsuccesful and due to Remus's docile nature and fear of his own strength Sirius had ended up ontop everytime. In an effort to stop his feelings intensifying and created almost a punishment system for himself. Everytime he thought about Remus in anything other than a strictly plutonic light he would find a girl to fuck. If he thought about Remus while he fucked that girl, he would find a prettier girl to fuck and so on. Sirius's main problem was that he was begining to run out of girls to fuck. A couple of weeks ago, he'd made the mistake of sleeping with a complete psycho named Marianne Ball. Though, despite her being memorably insanse, Sirius could never remember her name. At first Sirius was drawn to the Hufflepuff, her mahogany hair and warm hazel eyes, her nose was a little big, but it suited her, and her mouth was small, pink and full, she was very pretty, she had a nice figure as well, small waste, wider hips and a rather large pair of breasts. She also turned out to be easy, which in Sirius's eyes, was never a negative quality. It was when she seemed to think she was owed some kind of relationship. It was on halloween, during divination that she really started to frighten Sirius. He was staring blankly at James's palm
"Does it say anything about me marrying Evans?" he said sadly, still not fully recovered from seeing her kiss Remus on the train he'd been very miserable since
"You are so pathetic" Sirius giggled "I see no mention of an Evans, apart from this fleck of white that is lingering around your heart line, which I can guess she was responsible for" Sirius cackled when James snatched his hand away
"That's toothpaste you dick" he said wiping his hand on the front of his robes "If you make another crack about Evans I'm going to work with Peter"
"Okay sorry... It's not my fault you get all touchy about Evans's crack"
"That's it" James got up and slupmed down next to Peter shooing the girl he was partnered with away. She skipped over to Sirius and sat down at his table, opposite him
"Oh shit" he sunk down in his chair
"Hi Siri" she giggled
"Pardon?"
"Siri!" she said slapping him playfully "I always call you Siri!"
"Oh, of course you do..."
"Marianne"
"Right, Marianne from Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday?"
"Thursday"
"Before last"
"Yes! You are such a silly Siri! Pretending you can't remeber me!"
"Ha... yeah"
"Give me your hand! The proffessor says I'm ever so good at palmestry"
"Does he?" said Sirius wishing he'd taken arithmancy
"He does!" she yanked his hand across the table "Ooh, when I look at your heart line you know what I can see?"
"No, do tell" he mumbled flatly
"I see a little line here" she said tracing her finger across his hand making some kind of a sad attempt at being sensuous "that could signal a deep deep love" she bit her lip – again failing to be sensuous. Sirius pulled his hand away, his face looking both terrified and disgusted
"Right... are you quite finished?"
"No! I was oping you'd accompany me to the Halloween feast, acctually"
"Really...
I'm alright going alone to be honest"
"But, you should come
with me"
"Why?"
"Because! You made love to me!" Sirius shuddered, if there was one phrase he hated it was make love. Yuck
"No. I had sex with you"
"Same thing"
"No it isn't you complete brain case"
"You're so funny Siri! I'll see you later! You should ware your hair straight, you suit it better like that. And that black t-shirt, the v neck one, that looks really hot. I want my boyfriend to look the hottest at the feast"
"JAMES PETER HELP"
"O-M-G Siri, you must be the silliest goose in Gryffindor" she leant forward, so her face was against Sirius's, she was practically lying on the table
"SERIOUSLY GUYS, HELP!" said Sirius craning backard
"Stop it Siri! I know you love me" a horrifying intesity bubbled in her voice
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND MAGICAL JAMES! PETE!" James shook his head smirking, Peter watched for James's reaction and copied it
"Thank you class for being so well behaved to day, we'll continue this tomorow" said the proffessor boredly, waving them out. Sirius wrenched his chair back as quickly as he good and ran like the wind, if the wind was trying to escape a demented lover.
*
Later that evening Sirius was in the dorm with Remus, he wondered if maybe that psyco had a point when she aid he suited straight hair. He had been standing in front of the mirror for sometime poking his hair with his wand, half watching it go completely straight and return to it's normal state which was mostly straight, fluffier with a slight curl at the end, and half watching Remus absorbed in his book about basic healing charms. He loved watching Remus read, his eyes would glitter if he read anything particularly interesting, very little could break his concentration, Sirius had even taken his top off in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. The straight natural hair issue was beginning to piss him off, he knew it looked better as it was, but why would that crazed Hufflepuff say it looked better straight, he decided to get the opinion of the one person who acctually mattered
"Do you think my hair looks better straight or natural" asked Sirius, Remus looked up from his book and shook his head
"You are so shallow" he snorted
"Shut up, just humour me"
"Oh... natural then, that slight curl at the end suits you"
"That's what I thought. That Hufflepuff girl... what was her name..."
"Cecilia Cooke?"
"Is she the one with the long brown hair, the biggish nose and the boobs?"
"No, Cecilia is blonde, it sounds like you're thinking of Mairanne Ball"
"Whatever, anyway, this Marianne girl, she said she thinks I look better with straight hair"
"You don't though"
"I know! But she says I do"
"Who cares wht she thinks? Unless you're trying to sleep with her" he said with eye brows raised. Sirius did hate revealing to Remus what a man slut he was
"Don't be silly Remus, I already did two weeks ago"
"What!?" gaped Remus, setting his book down
"Yeah, she's been stalking me a little since, giving me tips on what to with my clothes and hair... she keeps calling me Siri... ugh"
"I hadn't noticed"
"That's because she only strikes when I'm at my most vunerable" he shuddered with the memory of her
"So why do you care what she says about your hair?"
"I don't, I was just wondering what you thought" Sirius said, trying not to sound too... gay
"Oh" mumbled Remus, looking away from him
"Why did you sound so upset when I said I'd already slept with her?" Sirius had found it helped him think he might have a chance with Remus, if he kept teasing Remus about fancying him
"I did not! Even if I did I wasn't!"
"You so were. You're jealous of my bitches aren't you Remus?" Remus rolled his eyes
"I'm not" he sounded disapointingly convinced of this "And don't call the poor girls you sleep with your bitches, it's very crude" Sirius felt guilty, but also saw the oppourtunity to work in a little play fight
"I'll call them what I want... unless you're trying to start something here?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are you trying to start a fight? Trying to defend the honour of Black's bitches?" said Sirius playfully walking over to Remus's bed
"Sirius, I'm not in the mood right now"
"Don't back out now Rem, just because you're scared you'll lose"
"I will not!" Remus launched him self onto Sirius, knocking him onto the ground and pinning him. They tumbled around for a while,he'd finnally managed to get Remus on top of him! He could see Remus's light muscles now bulging from under his shirt. Everytime he tried to get on top of Remus, Remus knocked him back to the ground, hands always clamped round his wrists. Now straddling Sirius Remus laughed "This is why you don't fight with a werewolf" he said holding Sirius's wrists to the floor, Sirius prayed he wouldn't notice the bulge appearing in his trousers
"I've been waiting for this to happen"
"What?"
"I wanted to see when you'd finnally get sick of losing, and use this bone crushing wolf strength you're so frightened of" lied Sirius "It's quite impressive" he said truthfully
"It should be" sniggered Remus "I could kill you if I wanted"
"I'll try to stay on your good side then. Though I suppose being half naked and underneath you, I can only be on your good side" he smiled trying to be flirty
"You do flatter yourself Black" Remus rolled his beautiful eyes, presenting that crooked smile on his mouth that made Sirius want to devour it
"Aww, I was enjoying that"
"Shut up" scowled Remus, thinking he was joking "And put a shirt on"
"You say that as if you aren't enjoying looking at my sexy body" he said comedically running his hands down his stomach,trying to hide his embarrassment, Remus laughed and threw a pillow at him "I'm not putting a shirt on, because I'm going to take a shower" Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus and threw the pillow back
"Fair enough" he shrugged. Sirius stepped into the bathroom, wondering if there was anyway he could entise Remus into the shower with him
