I don't own Twilight. SMeyer does.
A nice long chapter entirely in EPOV. . .because I love all of you.
Despite the title of this story, suspenders won't be showing up in every sex scene. But they become a major theme in the plot.
Enjoy the lemon.
EPOV
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Let go.
Let go, she screamed.
So I did. Because whatever it was that she wanted, I would grant her. No matter how crazy, no matter how much I opposed to it. I let go of her trembling body and moved away, raising my hands in defense. The shrill of her scream cut into me like a knife, and moving away from her made it ache, like salt in the wound. I wanted to comfort her, stroke her hair and whisper in her ear that everything was okay. I wanted to kiss her cheek and rock her back to sleep like a baby. But as soon as I backed away unwillingly, confusion flashed across her face and she began moving her body into my lap.
"Edward, no," she pleaded.
I grabbed her, thankful that she was awake and in need of me, and snuggled her small body against mine.
"Shhh, it's okay, love," I whispered against her hair.
I could've cried of happiness that she did want me. I didn't know how I would function if her cries would've held the same need in her waking. Let go. Never. How dare she even think of something like that? I was hurt, and this was the second time it happened. I knew it wasn't really her fault, but something was causing these dreams. And whatever it is, I knew I had to rid it of existence.
**
It was another Thursday night, except it was now July. I ventured to the Carver diner for yet another meeting, but this one was different. My brothers and father needed to help me finish planning my anniversary gift for Bella. It was purely a surprise, so I only told the guys. I knew Alice couldn't keep her tiny little mouth shut for more than six seconds, and well, Rose would just tell Bella in spite of something I did to her. And even though I can't remember one bad thing I did to her, she would find something and make it so credible that I'd end up losing the argument. Therefore, no girls allowed.
I was late again. The time I had showed up early was a rare occasion, but Bella was feeling very affectionate tonight. Upon kissing me goodbye, she placed her hands on my wrists that held her waist, and slowly pushed my sleeves up to my elbows. She continued to fun her fingers up and down my forearm while our tongues lapped each other's. Then the contact was lost, momentarily, only to be reignited when her hands clutched the dark blue straps hanging from my pants. She pulled on them, pressing me against her more tightly for a final kiss.
And here I am. Sitting at the table with my brothers and father, sleeves rolled up to my elbows, suspenders hanging loosely, and a slight ache in my groin. I could only imagine what my hair looked like.
"God, Edward, you look like you just had sex in a blender," Emmett joked. "What, is Bella finally warming up to you?"
"Shut up, Em," I snapped. Tonight was about Bella, not our sex life.
"Always bringing a man down. Well, I'm glad she's not dick-shy anymore. Glad to know you're not resorting to parking lot jerk-off sessions."
Jasper chimed in for me. "Could you fucking leave him alone, man? Do you not remember the sounds coming from Edward's bedroom when Bella moved in right before Esme bought them the house?" Jasper looked at Emmett with a titled head and raised eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.
"Trip! I need to plan this trip, guys! Could you forget about my dick for once!" It was only making me think of the ache in my balls even more. If they should ever be as lucky as to have what Bella and I have, it would surely shut them the fuck up.
"Carlisle. . ." I took all the itinerary papers out of my manila folder. Flight numbers, flight times, the hotel name, dates we were leaving and coming back, and a pending car rental.
"Dude, you do NOT need a car," Emmett said, pointing at the paper and picking it up. "You'll get to wherever you need to go on your feet faster."
Then Carlisle finally spoke after flipping through the other papers. "Yeah, he's right, Edward. A car will only slow you down. But everything else looks great. When do you plan on leaving again?" He was still fingering through the sheets of paper when I grabbed them and pulled out the flight times and dates.
"Here, August 11th. It's a Thursday. Actually it's three weeks from today," I stated. Everyone looked at me. "What?"
"Why do you look like you have to take a big shit?"
"Fuck, Emmett. What are you talking about?" I was starting to get mad.
Jasper laughed and I snapped my eyes at him. What the fuck? "Ed, you just seriously look like a nervous wreck. Are you alright? Is the trip is getting you anxious?"
I took account of all every part of my body and every emotion that coursed through my veins. My legs were slightly shaking. My right foot was bouncing up and down on the balls of my foot relentlessly. My heart raced inside my chest. My fingers drummed on the table in a swift repetitive beat. My forehead was covered in sweat, and, not to mention, my balls probably looked like giant blueberries. This was pathetic. I wasn't going to leave because I needed to have Bella right then and there. What would they think? I need to stay and at least finish my coffee. But I realized that I wasn't a nervous wreck over sex, I was a nervous wreck over Bella's reoccurring dream. I need to make sure she was okay. I gathered up all my papers and threw a ten dollar bill at Carlisle.
"Put that towards the bill, Carlisle. I gotta run, sorry guys."
I dashed out of the diner and mangled with my keys in the ignition. When the Volvo roared to life, I sped home faster than an ambulance.
Of course, I hit every goddamn red light. Typical. Fucking typical. As soon as I saw the opposite light turn yellow, I would inch forward and floor it as soon as mine turned green. By the time I pulled into our driveway, my gas tank hated me. I honestly could've cared less.
It's just that, I've never had this feeling before. It was like an intuition. Somehow, I could feel Bella's anxiety. I could feel the blood coursing through her veins at the speed of light next to my own pulse. Even if I was wrong about this, I had to check on her.
"Bella!" I shouted, as I pushed through the front door. She didn't answer.
The house was dark and quiet, except for a faint sound I heard coming from the bedroom. I sprinted upstairs, skipping steps in my ascent until the sound was much more distinct. I felt my heart sink. It was the sound of Bella sobbing.
She wasn't hysterical. And though it may seem that a soft cry is better, it wasn't. I walked into the room and turned on the little lamp. There she was, balled up and tangled in the sheets, clutching a section of them in her fingers that she was using to dry her tears, it seemed. I walked closer to her, afraid of scaring her. The sobbing continued as her body violently shook at one point, subsiding into a consistent shiver. My hands tightened into fists at the sight of her in pain. I needed to stop this. With two more steps I kneeled down beside her. My face was now level with hers as I placed the back of my hand on her forehead. She was drenched.
"Bella, love?" I whispered. She wasn't awake. She was dreaming. "Bella, wake up."
I smoothed her hair back and grabbed her angry fingers with my free hand. "Wake up."
She continued whimpering, though it was getting lower and lower. "Bella, I'm here. . .please, wake up!" I shook her a little. She squeezed her eyes and swallowed thickly before a violent shiver ran over her body again. I was breathing heavily now. I didn't want to scare her and have her scream herself awake. I just needed to comfort her. Make her nightmare go away.
So I inched my face towards hers and made sure my hands weren't touching any part of her, in fear she might scream 'let go' or 'Edward. . .stop'. I needed to be careful. I was playing with fire, ready to get burned when my lips touched hers. But the burn never came. Instead, her body stilled for a mere second before her arms flew around me, clutching me wildly, trying to find anything to grab. My hair. Her fingers dug into it while her lips returned the kiss. She moaned into my mouth in a high-pitched fashion. It was different than her usual moans, her seductive moans. It said something deep. It was like I had just come home from war, and she was thankful I was alive. She poured herself into me and when I began backing away in order to get into the bed, she clutched me tighter in her ragged fingers.
"Bella," I said into her lips, "Bella, it's okay. . .I'm not leaving." But she wasn't letting me go.
So I kept my lips on hers, letting her lead, letting her kiss me with all this longing, as I climbed over her into bed. My untidy boots were still on. My pants were still on. My suspenders almost got tangled in our arms, but they were still there. My shirt was still on. My hair was a mess.
But I didn't care. All I cared about was that I was ridding this nightmare of its existence. She was still sleeping, but I was helping her sleep soundly. Without breaking the kiss once, I pulled her balled up body against mine like I always do. Though I was over the sheets and she was under them, I still grasped her closely, letting the heat of her body warm mine. Within minutes, Bella was completely calm and breathing steady again. I wiped her forehead and pecked her lips before burying my nose in her hair, begging for answers.
**
And that's how some of our nights proceeded. She seemed keener to being calmed when she was asleep. When she would wake, she would be so worked up that it was a harder task to bring her back down.
I felt a rush of relief bolt through me when I realized that I was able to console her. That I could nuzzle myself close to her and slow her rapid heart beat. But I still wondered why those nightmares came to her in the middle of the night.
I would ask her about them when I felt the time was right, when she seemed eager to talk, like last Sunday. We were both sitting on the piano bench as I tried teaching her how to play Prelude in C Major. She was a quick learner. I watched in awe as her tiny fingers danced elegantly upon the ivories, evoking a sound that was familiar yet angelic and soothing. And because the music came from her, I smiled. My lungs didn't have the capacity to hold the breath she made me breathe; a deep, spiritual inhale that brought me to life with every intake. So as I straddled the bench to face her, I wrapped her arms around her stomach and moved my lips to warm skin under her ear.
"You're amazing," I whispered. I felt her body shiver beside me and felt her smile when I kissed her cheek. All the love I had for her washed through me when she smiled. When I made her smile.
Moving my lips slowly back to her ear without ever leaving the skin, I whispered again, "I want those nightmares to go away." The music slowed as she stared at the keys. I heard her play a wrong note and kissed her. Placing my hand over hers, I told her I loved her and watched as her head lower towards the piano. I heard her exhale and pushed her hair away from her face. Beautiful even when she cries.
"I want them to go away, too." And raising her face to connect our gazes, she pulled her lips up into a trying smile and said, "They will. In time."
And I knew I had to accept that. So I smiled back at her before gently pressing my lips to hers. Soft and warm as her hand traveled up my bare leg and under my boxers. . .
It was, now, August fourth. Bella's surprise was still a secret and I was shocked that Emmett hadn't spilled it to Rose and that there was no devastating domino effect. I just had to figure out a way to pack Bella's things without her knowing. And just as I started to contemplate ways of going about this, I realized who I would probably need.
So I grabbed my phone and dialed the numbers. I heard the shower go on about ten minutes ago, which gave me a generous twenty minutes to work with. Thank God Bella took long showers.
"Hello?"
"Jazz, It's Edward. Put Alice on." He must have heard the impatience in my voice because he hurriedly called for his wife.
"Edward!" A little pixie voice ran through my ear.
"Alice, I need a favor. But you need to listen." My voice was stern.
"Okay, okay Mr. Serious. What is it?" I could picture her big eyes wide open in anticipation.
"I'm taking Bella away on vacation for our anniversary and-"
"And you need me to help pack for her because it's a surprise! Oh, Edward! Yes! Yes! I'll do it!"
How the fuck-
"Alice, how do you do tha-"
"Intuition. It's a gift," she said very smugly. "Anyway! When should I come?" Now I could see and feel her bouncing up and down. Her voice kept getting further away from the receiver, then closer again. It was melody of "Oh my God's" and "I'm so excited's".
"Well, I need to get her out of the house when you com-"
"I'll make her a manicure and pedicure appointment with Esme and Rose and make up a story of why I can't make it. Oh, it's perfect! She'll never suspect anything!" I had to hand it to her. It was a pretty flawless plan.
"Okay, but Alice. . .she CANNOT know. Could you keep your thoughts to yourself?"
"My lips are sealed brother!" She promised.
We decided that the tenth was a good day for her to come. It was the day before we would leave. After hanging up I heard the shower turn off.
Perfect timing.
I fell back onto the pillows and tucked my hands under my head. I turned my head to glance at the messy pile on the floor. It was my dark blue suspender pants. The suspenders lay tangled on top and I tried to suppress a smile. I would definitely be packing those bad boys. The memory of her body pressed against me while her grabbed the bad boys and pulled me closer to her caused a wave of pleasure to course through my body. And then she bucked her hips into mine. . .
Down, boy.
I adjusted myself roughly when my eyes closed, scratching my balls because I just couldn't resist.
"Um, should I give you a minute?"
I jerked my head up to find Bella standing in the bathroom's doorframe. Her hand was raised and pointed behind her.
"Shut up, silly," I said, chuckling. I rubbed my face and sat up, making my slight arousal a little less noticeable. She wore the cutest smile on her lips and I couldn't help but grab her when she walked passed me, throwing her down on the mattress for another tickle fight.
"Edward!" Her little arms tried pushing me off but as I laughed, I came to a halt and crashed my face into her neck, planting wet kisses all over her skin.
She moaned my name and fisted her hands in my hair.
"You smell like a coconut, love," I breathed into her ear, before trailing my lips back down to her collarbone.
She groaned and giggled. "New shampoo."
"I see." Lowering my lips down her chest, I felt her grip on my hair become tighter as my lips grazed lightly over her nipple. I felt it harden under the kiss and I raised my eyes to look at her. Her eyes were fluttering closed and her mouth was ajar. I kept my eyes on her face and I slowly licked her erected nipple. Her bottom lip was immediately sucked between her teeth and she exhaled a little louder than before.
I loved driving he wild.
"What was that again, love?" I asked, breathing into the tight skin between her breasts before moving to her peak again. I took it between my teeth and licked the tip.
An exasperated moan escaped her lips as she arched her back, delving herself deeper into my mouth. I sucked it hard into me, looking the verbal proof that I was driving her crazy. And just as my hands ascended to the skin beside her breasts and my thumbs gently swept over her nipples, I heard it.
"Fuck, Edward." It was a groan and it drove me wild.
She had to feel me poking the life out of her leg. My dick jerked up every time a moan rolled out of her throat. Not to mention her grip on my hair had me in a frenzy.
I released her from my mouth and trailed my kiss to her belly button. My hands descended down her body to the waist band of her shorts, about to rip them the fuck off. But as soon as my fingers dipped below her panties and rested on the heated skin of her lower stomach, she grabbed my face.
"Wait," she whispered. "Not a good week."
Part of me was thankful for the fact that it would be over by the time we left for our vacation. The other part, the dick part, couldn't even think clearly.
I exhaled and my hands reclaimed their spot on Bella's waist as I moved up her body. I felt my dick rub against her thigh and stop at the apex of her legs.
When my face reached hers, I gazed into her. The look in her eyes was apologetic, but I couldn't find a single frustrated cell in my body. It wasn't her fault. So I kissed her passionately to show her I didn't mind.
Fuck, my dick said. I decided joking around was fair play.
"You know, Bella," kiss, "my dick isn't too fond kiss of your monthly dilemmas." Kiss.
I laughed softly against her lips to ensure her it was a joke. But I felt her hips lift off the mattress and press against my erection. The surge coursed through the length and I'm sure she felt that.
She broke the kiss, grabbed my face, and turned it so that she could access my ear. Placing her lips against the skin there, she whispered, "I'm sure I can change its mind."
I think my dick grew about two centimeters in diameter.
I inhaled sharply as her eyes became hooded with lust, always laced with her unconditional love.
"On your back, Cullen."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I needed to give her a choice. She didn't have to do this. It was pretty selfless and unfair. I respected her too much to watch her do this.
But then why the fuck was I laying down?
I fought with my stupid hormones for a total of three seconds until I felt her war hand surround my dick through the fabric of my lounge pants. Whatever she wanted was my task to accomplish. If this is what would keep her nightmares away, then I'm all hers.
I fucking love when she's selfless.
I let out a pleading moan and she squeezed me tighter, jerking my length in one swift motion.
"Bella! Fuck…" I sighed, as I bucked my hips into her palm.
She crawled up to my lips and kissed me. "Shhh, you're going to wake the neighbors." Her warm breath lingered around my mouth, intoxicating me. "Relax," she soothed. I realized I was panting like I had just run a marathon.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten.
One. Her lips nuzzled on the skin of my neck…
Two. I felt her hands run down my arms…
Three. Her lips grazed my collarbone…
Four. Her fingers intertwined with mine.
Five. Her lips trailing over my nipple.
"Mmm, Bella…"
Six. She brought my hands to her breasts and I squeezed and fondled them.
Seven. She threw my hands off of her.
Eight. She moved her body down to my lower stomach, grazing every inch of my hardness on her belly…
Nine. Her hands drew circles on my hips as her tongue peeked out of her mouth and licked…
Fucking ten. She impatiently tore my pants down and, without a warning, took me into her warm, wet mouth.
"Ahh, fuck! Bella!" I tangled my fingers in her soft, silky hair as her lips slowly descended onto my throbbing cock. I wasn't going to fit, but I felt her hand grasp the base that was still bare.
With a squeeze, she sucked her way up, moving her gripped hand up my length behind her lips. And, bless her soul, because whatever she did with her tongue on my head sent me flying off the edge.
"Bella…Bella…" I panted.
And then she moaned. The warmth and vibration of her little sounds against the sensitive skin of my aching erection was enough to make me cum. But I had to make it last. Or did I? Did she want this to last? Or did she want this to be quick and easy. Shit. I had no fucking idea. Before I could begin a mental debate, her palm cupped my balls as she continued to move her lips up and down my dick.
Fuck. Me.
It was so fucking warm in her mouth. I wanted to be deeper. Instinctively, I lifted my hips and moved into her to fill every empty space.
"Mmmm," she moaned again. That was it. I was going to explode. Everything was building inside of me.
"Bella…I'm…I'm gonna…" I tried telling her to get off. But instead, she grabbed my hips and relaxed her throat to bring me in all the way.
Holy fucking shit.
"Ah, fuck!" And when I felt my balls tighten as she massaged them, she pulled her lips back and grazed her teeth up my length, closing her lips around my head with a slight suction.
"Bella, oh my FUCKING God!" I screamed, and in one quick movement, she lowered her lips again and I came hard into her mouth. I felt her neck muscles contract as she swallowed everything that came pouring out of me. She moaned one more time onto me pulsating cock before releasing me and planting soft kisses up the length and at the base of my stomach.
The ecstasy flooded my body as my toes curled around the sheets. I took deep breaths as I came down from the high of my orgasm. Trying to catch my breath, I managed to say, "Bella…I…I love…Come here, love."
She giggled and laid her body down next to mine. When I looked into her eyes, I saw something I never saw before. If it was even possible, she looked innocently smug. Oxy moron? Yes.
But that's how my Bella looked, wrapped into a ball of flesh as I embraced her and kissed her forehead.
Suddenly, I gasped, "Wait here."
She looked confused as I jumped off the bed and ran into the kitchen.
Eek, I thought to myself.
I returned to the bedroom to find Bella sitting up. "Here," I said, handing her a cold glass of water. "That can't have a great after taste."
She smiled and shrugged her shoulders while taking a big gulp. I watched it fall through her lips and saw her neck as it bulged out and sank down when the water traveled through it. I watched as she swallowed.
Again.
"Better?"
"Yes. Thank You," she said, blushing. She must have been embarrassed to subtly admitting that it tasted horrible.
She was my Godsend. But she continued to stare at me, raising an eyebrow as if she wanted me to say something. "So…" she twirled her finger around my chest hair. "Did someone change their mind?" Her eyes teasingly darted to my lap then back up at me before smiling.
"Oh, yes they did." I kissed her hard as our bodies melted into each others. "It fucking did."
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Okay. Whew! Hope you liked that.
Edward gets hard with every review.
The next two chapters are full of anxiety-worthy plotfullness.
Oh, Bella. . . what? Don't worry. . .
