Fred and George were up bright and early the next morning to stake out a table by the fireplace with a good view of the staircase to the boy's dorms. Then they waited.

An hour and a half later, when the charms essays were mostly done and it seemed like every except Percy had left the dorms, Fred finally consulted the map. "He's still up there. And Peter is with him. I suppose that means Percy's roommates all know what's going on."

"Not necessarily," George said. "The beds have hangings, so if Percy's boyfriend were with him when everyone else came up-"

"Maybe that's why he hasn't come down yet." Fred tapped the map experimentally. "We need some way to get back to the parchment. With the map out like this it's only a matter of time before someone sees it."

"There's probably another password to wipe the map," George said. "Only this time we have to guess it without help."

Fred shrugged. "It's probably the same as the password to bring it up. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

But the map remained as it was. "Hmmmm." Fred pursed his lips and pulled the map closer to his face. "Maybe it's the opposite. I flippantly claim that I am down to much bad?" Nothing. "I solemnly swear that I am up to good?" Still nothing. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no mischief?"

"It's got to be shorter than that," George said, "if you're supposed to be able to wipe it quickly. I mean, if someone sneaks up on you and you've only got seconds to stop them from finding it you'd be better off stuffing it in your pocket than rushing through 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' or something like that."

"Fine then," Fred said. "Off? Wipe? Go away? Conceal?"

"It'll be more elegant than that." George slipped behind Fred and touched his own wand to the map. "Something smoother. I dunno. Secrets safe? Mischief managed?"

The map vanished, and Fred was left holding a blank sheet of parchment. "Yes! George, you have your moments of brilliance."

"As do you, Fred. Speaking of moments, how much longer to you think Percy is going to be? He's going to miss breakfast if he doesn't come down soon." George was not yet willing to call it quits and wait until they ran into Percy again to tease him, but it was getting close.

"He was moving around by the time you wiped the map," Fred reported. "So he should be down soon. He doesn't usually take that long to shower."

"I'm sure he takes longer at school when he doesn't have five people all wanting a wash telling him to hurry it up. I know I do." And with that George turned back to his charms essay, hoping to get it out of the way before he got distracted by Percy-baiting.

Sure enough Percy came tromping down the stairs not ten minutes later, still looking rather disheveled.

"Hello, brother dearest," Fred said, flashing a rather predatory grin. "Did you enjoy yourself last night?"

Percy glared at the twins, and stalked off towards the portrait hole without answering.

"You're making us feel unloved," George said. "Not answering our thoughtful questions concerning your well-being like this."

"One might think you didn't care," Fred added. He swept the essays into his bag and made to follow Percy down to breakfast.

"Or that you regard your younger brothers as mere annoyances to be brushed off when you aren't forced to acknowledge their presence." George let Fred deal with the schoolwork, and got up close to Percy, just within his older brother's comfort zone.

"I suppose you two think that was very funny," Percy said. He faced resolutely forward, not even glancing at George.

"Funny enough," Fred piped up from a few paces back.

"No, the big question is what Peter thought," George said. "Did he tell you?"

"Peter?" Percy repeated. "Peter Pickering? Was he the one you put up to that?" Despite himself, Percy slowed enough that Fred was able to catch up to him quickly.

"Put up to what?" George asked. "If you're talking about the niffler last week, we had nothing to do with it." George spread his hands in a gesture of innocence that could only be taken seriously by people who didn't know him.

"You 'borrowed' a niffler from Professor Kettleburn when you went down to Charlie's class," Percy said. "I know because Charlie told me. And if you keep lying about stuff like that, I'll write Mum."

George blanched a little at the threat, but he did his best not to let it show. "So what did happen last night that got you so wound up? You wouldn't mind telling your favorite twin brothers, would you?"

"Or do you want to tell Bill first," Fred said. "Because he's Head Boy and all and can do things about it."

"Like write Mum," George added.

Percy looked from George to Fred and back again with obvious confusion. "What does writing Mum have to do with anything?"

"I dunno," Fred said. "Depends on what there is to write to Mum about, because we heard-"

"-that ickle Percykins has got himself a boyfriend," George finished.

Percy turned bright red. "Who told you that?" he demanded.

"You know how talk is," Fred said. "Lots of people say lots of things, and you can never quite remember who said what."

"Fine," Percy spat. "I'll let it drop, just this once, but I expect the pair of you to lay off about it, And fix whatever Pickering did to my trunk; I don't want it spewing goo all over me every time I open it."

"Someone charmed your trunk to spit goo at you?" George said at the same time Fred said, "Is that what you were doing all morning?"

"Don't act like you don't know about it," Percy said. "And you'd better get it fixed today, or-"

"You'll write Mum," Fred finished. He raised an eyebrow at Percy, mentally daring him to do it.

"Or I'll tell Bill you've put my roommates up to destroying my things," Percy said. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get to breakfast before the food disappears." He sped down the corridor, faster than the twins could keep up.