By the time the Great Hall had emptied on Tuesday evening the twins were baffled. "Now," Fred said. "It's possible that we missed him at lunch, maybe breakfast if he woke up really early and then took food someplace else to eat it, but there's no way he came down to dinner."

"Maybe he sneaks into the kitchens or something," George said. "Speaking of kitchens, the map says they're just under the Great Hall, so I vote we break in and steal some food."

"Excellent idea," Fred said, "We should have done it before dinner."

"If we'd gotten caught trying and been given detention, we wouldn't have been able to keep a look out for Pettigrew during dinner," George said.

"Fair point. Looks we go down that hall over there-" Fred pointed. "-and then there's a door that opens into the kitchens."

Only there wasn't. There was a painting of a bowl of fruit where the door ought to be. As Fred began attempting to guess the password, George consulted the map. After a few seconds word appeared by the door. Tickle the pear.

"Try tickling the pear," George said.

Fred turned to look at George, silently asking if he was being serious.

George shrugged. "That's what the map says to do."

Fred reached out a hand and tickled the pear, causing a handle to spring out of the painting. "Wicked. I wonder if the map knows the passwords into the other houses. We could sneak into the Slytherin dorms and let a niffler loose or something."

"That's a little unimaginative don't you think. We already did a niffler not two weeks ago." George frowned at the painting. "Right. You crack the door open and I'll peak through. If the coast is clear I'll slip in and grab something."

"Got it."

George looked through the opening and saw a swarm of small creatures wearing towels pressed with the Hogwart's crest scuttling over the tables, gathering up dirty dishes and taking them off to a sink in the corner. "House elves," George whispered. "Quite a lot of them. I don't see any food, but if we asked nicely they might be willing to give us some."

"Or they might run off and tell the Headmaster that students are sneaking around where they shouldn't be," Fred said. "House elves have to obey their masters, don't they?"

"Yeah, but it's not actually against the rules to go into the kitchens is it?" George asked. "Here. You wait outside and I'll see if they're friendly." George walked into the kitchen, and several dozen eyes the size of tennis balls latched onto him. "Erm... hello."

"Hello, young sir," one of the nearer house elves said. "Is there anything we can be doing for you?"

"Yes," George said. "Could you get me dinner for two, please? Whatever you've got cooked up so that we can take it back to the common room."

The house elf nodded and disappeared into what must be the pantry, returned faster than George thought possible with a basket piled high with food. "Nobby is not knowing what young sir is wanting, so-"

"I'm sure whatever you packed is fine," George said. Much better than not having dinner at any rate. "I'll bring your basket back tomorrow. Good night."

"The house elves are brilliant," George said once he was out of the kitchens. "They gave me all this as soon as I asked for it. The next time Gryffindor has a party, we'll have to bring real food rather than just eating everyone's Honeyduke's sweets. Fred? Are you listening to me?"

Fred was standing against the opposite wall, glaring down at the map in his hands. "What?"

"I've got food. Let's get going, unless you want to eat down here?" They were less likely to be caught with food they were maybe not supposed to have, but it would also be a lot more suspicious if they were caught.

"Nah," Fred said. "Lead the way." He looked at the basket. "Are there any sandwiches in there? We could eat as we walk."

Rather than talking, Fred and George spent the entire walk to Gryffindor tower devouring the contents of the basket. "I think there's something funny going on with Pettigrew," Fred said as soon as they were safety tucked away in one of the corners of the common room. "He didn't go to dinner, and he's spent the last four nights sleeping with Percy. You'd think someone besides us would have noticed by now."

"Unless he's supposed to be in Percy's dorm," George said. "Fred, you're the one compulsively checking the map. Do you remember all of Percy's roommates' names?"

Fred's lips pursed in concentration. "Let's see... there was Peter Pickering... and Daniel Bones... and Graham Hopkins. I don't think there was a fifth person, but sometimes rooms only have four people in them."

"What if he's the fifth boy in the dorm?" George said. "Then no one would think twice about him being up there all the time."

"Rather clever of Percy," Fred said. "So why doesn't Agatha know about him then?"

"Fred! George!" The twins turned to see Charlie come barreling towards them. "Where have you been? Bill was worried when you didn't come down to dinner."

"Sorry about that," George said, trying to sound sheepish. "We thought that we'd do a bit of exploring before dinner, but we got lost and by the time we figured out where we were dinner was over."

"Oh." Charlie still looked rather concerned. "I don't have any food, but one of my roommates-"

"Don't worry about it. Someone else already took pity on us." And then, to take Charlie's mind off of who, Fred changed the subject. "So do you know what's going on with Percy's boyfriend?"

"Percy's... boyfriend?" Charlie repeated. "Our brother Percy? But I thought he-"

"So did we," Fred said, "but he's got a boyfriend, all right. Big bloke, bit of a mustache, but I hear he's planning on shaving it off. Seen him round?"

Next to Fred, George leaned his forehead up against his palm.

"I haven't," Charlie said. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Look, I just remembered that I need to... finish some homework, so if you're both fine.."

"We're absolutely spiffing," Fred said. "Good night, Charlie."

Charlie very quickly disappeared up the stairs to the boy's dorms. "And there he is off to tell Bill," Fred said.

"I'm not sure we want Bill to know about this just yet," George said.

"You worry too much. What's the worst that Bill can do?"