Clary stood in front of the marriage counseling office wringing her hands nervously. She fiddled with the hem of her sweater, then smoothed her hands down her skinny jeans. It was a nervous habit, one that irritated the hell out of everyone who knew her.
Jace sent her a text five minutes ago saying he was running a little late. Clary couldn't help but regret counseling. She knew the media would figure out something was wrong with their marriage.
They always knew. Yet another reason why Clary was thinking about leaving the marriage. She was snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Jace rounding the corner. Usually, her heart would beat faster when she saw him.
But that hadn't happened for a while now.
"Clary!" exclaimed Jace. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I-"
"Jace, it's ok. Really. Let's just go inside." She smiled at him politely, and Jace hurriedly opened the door. They went inside, gave their names, and within ten or so minutes they were ushered into a room.
Jace sat in a chair next to Clary, and cleared his throat. "So, Clary...how's your art been lately?" She couldn't help rolling her eyes at him.
"Fine. Not like you had the chance to ask me eight months ago, am I right?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in irritation. "I'm trying, ok? If we want this to work-"
Clary turned to look at him, her emerald eyes cold. "Jace, let me make this clear. I don't want to be in this marriage if you can't accept the fact that I'm beyond angry and hurt. The sparks aren't there Jace, and I don't know how to ignite them again. I'm here because I can't forget we dated for four years and were married for 3."
Hurt flashed across Jace's eyes, but that didn't stop Clary from her rant. "I gave you everything. My heart, my secrets, my insecurities. All to have it thrown back in my face. If you think that counseling can help me love you again, it won't. I haven't been in love with you for almost a year Jace, and a couple of sessions with you and a counselor isn't going to help."
Just as Jace was about to respond, a man stumbled into the room, and made his way to where Clary and Jace were sitting. He shook their hands, and introduced himself as Dr. Starkweather, or Hodge.
Hodge sat at his desk, grabbed a notepad and pen, and smiled at Clary. "Mrs. Herondale, why don't you start off by telling me what you think the issue is in your marriage?"
Clary looked down at her hands. "As you may know, Jace is an actor. We've known each other since freshman year of high school, but we started dating junior year. After four years of dating, he proposed, and we got married. Classic high school sweetheart story, right?"
She bitterly chuckled, causing Jace to look down in shame. "After almost three years of marriage, he comes home not only drunk, but with another woman."
Clary looked at Hodge's sympathetic eyes, and smiled weakly. "After confronting him about it, he said he was cheating on me for five months. I've done nothing but be there for him Hodge. I would wait for him to come back from work after months, I called him, and face timed him. I did what I could to tell myself I loved him. But for the past eight months, I just don't think I can do this."
"Mr. Herondale, is this true?" questioned Hodge.
Jace glanced at Clary, sighed sadly, then once again lowered his face into his hands. "Yes." he said softly. "I cheated on her for five months. But I swear to you, I never wanted to hurt Clary. She may not believe it, but when I said my wedding vows, I meant every word. I love you Clare, and I want to fix this and change myself."
They spent the next forty five minutes talking about the history of their relationship. The more they talked about the beginning of the "dating years", the more Clary was more unsure of what to do next.
But once they exited the office, an idea struck her, and she stopped before her car, deep in thought. Jace, who was next to her, stood there, unsure of what to do.
"Jace," she started slowly. "I need to talk to you but not here, there's to many prying eyes and ears. Go back to your house, I'll meet you there." Clary didn't bother glancing back at him as she got into her car.
She knew that whatever she was going to suggest to Jace could either go really well with him, or it could go horribly wrong.
But it was worth a shot.
"How the fuck did you think I would agree to that Clary!" roared Jace. When she told him her idea, he rejected it vehemently. They had been arguing for the past few hours, and Clary was getting tired.
She rubbed her eyes in frustration. "Jace, I'm tired of arguing with you. I want this divorce because I want to be free from this toxic relationship. It's DONE Jace, but you keep refusing to get the divorce and my alternative is the idea. You'd better agree with me or...or..."
Clary glared at Jace's knowing smirk, and she saw red. "Smiling at me huh Jace? You cheat on me and this is what I get right? What did I ever do to deserve this? You don't want me to have a good life, and I hate you for that."
Jace flinched as he leaned his head back and sighed deeply. "I know what I did, and I don't know how to take it back. But I love you Clary, no matter what you think. I should've been there for you, and I regret everything I did. But this idea...I could l-lose you forever, and I can't risk that."
Clary's idea was beyond risky. She told Jace about the offer from France, and she wanted to go there for art. Well, mostly art. Basically, she would try to date someone else while married to Jace. Somehow. There were so many holes in her plan, but she couldn't think of anything else.
Jace grabbed his mug of coffee and sipped it tentatively. "How about this: we can go to France together. We can both be there and...and you can do your art and when you have free time we'll go tour it and maybe repair this. Us."
Clary considered this, and it sounded like a good plan. She knew that deep down in her heart, she loved Jace desperately. They had many rough patches in their relationship, but they always overcame it. But this time, Clary was tired. Tired of seeing the old Jace come back, tired of dealing with the bullshit. Sometimes, she just wanted to be alone, just her and her art.
Whatever Jace had proposed to her seemed like a good idea to him, but he didn't understand what it would do to her. Having to spend time with someone who had taken her heart and stomped all over it was torture.
She took a deep breath, and lowered her head into her hands. "No." she replied softly. "I told you, there's no us."
Jace's face fell at his wife's words. Over the last few days, he had a lot to think about, and it always came down to one question: why would he ever cheat on Clary? Jace was with Kaelie for five months, and rather than paying attention to the beautiful redhead that was always there for him, he turned his back on her.
Clary watched as her husband sat in silence, and she cleared her throat after an uncomfortable silence. "I don't know who you think I am Jace, but I'm not that stupid girl you bullied in high school. I have never stopped you from sighing onto a new movie, no matter how far away the sets were. What makes you think I'll listen to you? I'm going to France regardless of what you think, and I don't give a damn about your public image or how you'll feel about me being with someone else."
Jace snapped out of his reverie before looking at Clary angrily. "I messed up, but I want to fix it. There's no excuse for me cheating on you, but I want to make it work. I want to be with you, only you. If you go to France I will follow you because you matter to me, and I don't care if-"
He felt a throbbing pain in his cheek, and Jace slowly realized that Clary had slapped him. She was looking at him with an expression he never imagined he would ever face - hatred. "I don't think you get it Jace," she said coldly, "I will not tolerate this anymore. I'm getting a lawyer so this divorce goes throuh, you can refuse all you want but I will not let you drag me down."
Clary grabbed her purse and coat before stomping to the door to leave, but a hand held her back. She turned to see Jace holding on to her like she was his lifeline, and his eyes were practically begging for her to stay.
"Please," he whispered, "don't do this. Let me explain myself, just let me talk to you."
"About what? You're the one who cheated on me Jace, why should I give you my time when you don't respect me?" hissed Clary. She turned to leave, but Jace held her arm more firmly.
She looked at him furiously, thinking about whether hitting him in the nuts was an appropriate solution or not. Luckily for Jace, he started talking before she could injure him further. "This year in general has been bad Clare, and it's no excuse for what I did but you know how hard my profession is. The last movie took a toll on me, and Kaelie was just...there one day. I was stressed, and she was there to tell me that it was ok. I kept getting drunk because I wanted to loosen up, and I just...it's not an excuse, I know."
Clary was fuming, but she kept her cool because the last thing she wanted was to be vulnerable. "You're right, it's not an excuse. If you were stressed, you could've communicated it with me. It doesn't give you a reason to cheat Jace, I mean, what did I do wrong? We had a good intimate life and you pushed it away to shove your dick into another girl. The real reason is that I wasn't enough, and you can't admit it because you don't want to."
Jace was so dumbfounded that he couldn't stop Clary from taking advantage of his surprise and slipping out the door, leaving him alone to think about what he did.
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