As the weeks stretch into months…
Jack stared across the room, not really focused on anything in particular, but just listening to the comforting sounds of the Hub around him. He couldn't sleep. The nightmares had woke him up again, leaving him in an oddly retrospective mood. In some ways it felt that nothing had changed. But looking around, he knew that nothing would ever be the same.
He walked down the stairs, eyes tracing a path that was both familiar and strange. He looked to his left. Tosh's station. He hadn't had the heart to take down any of her pictures, so he looked at each of them in turn as he stopped in front of the monitors. Photos of Tosh, laughing, smiling. His beautiful, lovely Toshiko. It still hurt, even after the time that had passed. He fingered one photo gently, pushing back the curling edge. It showed Tosh with Owen's arm around her. It had been taken one night out in the pub around the corner. He smiled, remembering it clearly. It had been a karaoke night and they had all taken a turn at singing. Tosh had done a Madonna song; she had been fantastic. Gwen had tried to do something by Britney, but had been complete rubbish at it. The only thing that had saved her on stage was her moves as she danced along to the video behind her. No one had cared that she couldn't sing. Owen had refused to sing at first, but ribbing from his team mates and enough alcohol had pushed him onto the stage. He had done a sultry Robert Palmer number, and Tosh and Gwen had jumped up on stage to dance behind him.
Ianto. Jack smiled as he remembered. Ianto had been a surprise. He had picked some grunge rock song on the box and had completely rocked his way through the number. They sat there with their mouths open in shock. None of them, other than him of course, had seen this rougher side of Ianto that didn't get out often. By the end of the number he had had half the girls in the audience at his feet, swooning and flashing him their bits.
Jack had been the last one to get up. He found an old Andrew Lloyd Webber show tune and had belted it out. None of them had been surprised by his performance, they had expected nothing less. And while he didn't have the horde of girls at his feet, he had gotten a large round of applause after he finished. It was then that he bought another round of drinks and they had taken pictures of one another.
His finger traced out the delicate lines of her face as he smiled, remembering. Moving his glance over to Owen, his smile faltered. Owen. A man so brilliant and so terribly broken. He had tried to help; to pick up the pieces of his shattered life and help him put it together. He felt that he had failed this man in so many ways. His mind went back to their first meeting, and then their second in the cemetery. He had coaxed Owen to join them, to make a difference. He knew that Owen had been bitter, but he had hoped that in some way that the other man had found a purpose in what he did here, and that he had found some measure of happiness. He sighed, looking at the photo again.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" A voice said softly. He closed his eyes, trying to hide the pain that he knew Ianto would see if he turned to look at him. Hands rested on his shoulders, kneading gently. "Seeing them smiling. Looking back and thinking – if I knew then, could I have done anything to stop it?" He nodded silently. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks. "Jack, you can't go back. Even if that thing were working," Ianto lightly caressed the wristband that never left Jack's arm. "It probably wouldn't have changed things."
Jack sighed, leaning back into Ianto's hands. "I know. If anyone knows about the problems with a time paradox, it would be me. I still miss them."
"As do I," Ianto said softly, resting his chin on Jack's shoulder. "I even miss Owen acting the prat, calling me tea-boy and accusing me of being rubbish as an agent. I miss his crass jokes, one liners and the fact that for a man who practiced medicine, he didn't care about hygiene in any place other than the operating table."
"You know he only did it to wind you up," Jack said with a chuckle. He rested his cheek against Ianto's as he smiled.
"Yup," came the reply. "The man was a pig. And even though he drove me mad, I still loved him for it." Ianto sighed. "Plus, you can't argue he did a great rendition of 'Addicted to Love.' The irony of him doing that song still stays with me."
Jack chuckled again. "I was just thinking of that night. We had some good times, didn't we?"
"We did," Ianto agreed. "Even if he did cheat at basketball." Jack grinned.
"Thank you," he said, tilting his head back and breathing in the unique scent of the man behind him. "Sometimes having a bit of perspective helps."
"You're welcome," Ianto said. After a moment he nibbled on Jack's earlobe. The other man sighed, enjoying the sensation as he let his mind drift. "How about we head back to bed and you let me ravish you," he murmured softly.
"Why Mr. Jones, are you propositioning me?" Jack asked, amused.
"Yep," came the simple reply. "Interested?"
"Absolutely," Jack said, turning in Ianto's embrace. "Ravish me, please." He captured Ianto's lips with his own, savoring the taste. "Mmmmmm."
"C'mon," Ianto said as he pulled back. Taking Jack's hand, he tugged him backwards, and back to bed…
~*~
