Christmas in the Black household this year could only be described as infuriating. Sirius was doing his best to stay quiet and "hold his tongue" as Regulus had advised him (no begged him).
Though, he was satisfied to find that, this year his parents had decreed him too old for presents and he'd been given money by his carious doddering relatives instead.
He found Christmas dinner actually physically painful. Lucius Malfoy made a big show of how much he was going to spend on his and Narcissa's wedding, went on a rant about how wonderful the new Ministry Werewolf regulations were, the Sirius's Father suggested they extend the regulations to muggle borns. Then they toasted Voldemort and cousin Bellatrix and Sirius was contemplating some sort of fork based suicide. Regulus did, at least, shoot continual apologetic glances in his direction but he did have the sheer cheek to give Sirius the pet lip when he left for Remus's on Boxing Day.
*
Mum had spent most of Christmas day practicing her usual obsessive cleaning. There hadn't been quite enough money that year to afford much by way of presents but there was a full Christmas dinner and, honestly, Remus would've been happy without presents. He'd spoken with her about the conversation he'd had earlier on in the year with Delphini Stonewall and asked her if she had any interest in getting into to contact with her family. She merely twisted her face and muttered something about not really wanting to associate with them.
He recognise that worried facial twist as the look she would give him when he asked about going to Hogwarts as a child, after he was bitten, when they were positive he'd never go.
*
James and Sirius arrived together, by floo, in true, unnecessarily dramatic, Marauder style. With a loud crash and a small explosion, sending ash all over the light blue living room. Mum twitched. An ash blackened Sirius cuffed James round the back of the head and snapped.
"I told you that was too much floo powder, you daft twat"
"Don't call me a daft twat you great nancy!" snorted James, a cloud of ash puffing from his hair as he ruffled it.
"A nancy who could easily hex you back to the dark ages" Sirius drew his wand. James's eyes narrowed
"I'd like to see you try" He wiped the ash from his glasses and went for his wand. Mum quietly cleared her throat, Sirius's and James's heads snapped round.
"No under aged magic in my house, please" she raised a brow and both boys backed away from each other, Sirius tucking his wand into his robes.
"Sorry Mrs. Lupin... and sorry about the mess... do you want us to clean it up?" Sirius said, a charming, apologetic smile breaking over his face. Mum rolled her eyes and flicked her wand, the room clearing of ash almost instantly, Remus noted she did leave James and Sirius sooty.
"Well... Alright Moony?" James said nervously, trotting over and giving him a very quick, very manly, very sooty hug.
"M'fine, how was your Christmas?"
"Brilliant" he grinned "New broom!" Sirius rolled his eyes, giving James a little kick as he walked to where Remus stood.
"And he hasn't shut up about it all morning!" He muttered, casually slinging an arm around Remus "It goes this fast, and it does this, and it's got this new thing that does this" he snorted "I swear, he has some sort of sick broom fetish"
"I do not! It's just a nice broom is all, it's got this inbuilt compass feature in the handle and-"
"NO MORE ABOUT THE BROOM, JAMES!"
"Remus might be interested"
"I'm not"
"Mrs. Lupin?" He said hopefully, glancing over at Mum, who smiled warmly
"Provided I could deafen myself beforehand, I'd be happy to listen"
"Well, I see where Remus gets the sarcasm from"
"When Peter gets here, you can tell him all about it" Said Sirius, giving James a patronising pat on the head. James swatted his hand away.
"You never told me how Christmas went at Walburga Black's Asylum for Pure Blood's"
"Shite. Fucking shite... oh er, sorry Mrs. Lupin"
"It's alright... I'll get out of your way, I'm late for My job interview as it is." She grabbed a hand full of floo powder and called "Say hi to the Pettigrew boy for me" before the emerald flames swallowed her up.
"Your mum's weird" James murmured
"Get fucked. Any way, you were saying something about shite, Sirius" And Sirius opened his mouth to continue his rant on the Black Family Christmas, when he was interrupted by Peter, bounding in with a glow of green flame and a thud as he dropped his bag in the centre of the living room.
"Afternoon Wormtail" Said James with a grin as Peter joined them "I got a new broom"
"Oh really? Wow, what kind?" Peter asked delightedly, a look of sickening wonder spreading over his face as James went into details of his new broom. Remus rolled his eyes and beckoned Sirius into the kitchen, putting the kettle on before both of them sat down at the kitchen table.
"Wormtail is such a fucking sycophant" Sirius muttered, huffily flipping his hair out of his eyes.
"He'll get over it one day"
"I almost thought I saw some spine on him the other day on the train as well" he sniggered
"That wasn't spine, that was delirium caused by a combination of a hangover and us acting like arseholes"
"Weren't me acting like the arsehole, Wolf Boy"
"Cheeky Prick"
"Moody Git"
"Mangy Fleabag" Remus smirked and Sirius suddenly looked defiant, slamming a hand down on the table
"Oi! I'm completely flea free" He pouted.
"As far as you know. You might have them"
"I'd know if I had fleas" He crossed his arms and scowled Remus suppressed a laugh
"You have been scratching an awful lot"
"Remus Lupin, stop trying to plant ideas in my head" his arms raised, about to scratch his head, they suddenly dropped.
"I'm sure you were scratching as we were talking there" Sirius's arms repeat the same almost scratching movement.
"I will not play your mind games!" he huffed
"I bet you're itchy right now, aren't you?" Remus chuckled. Sirius frowned and wriggled on his chair, let out a frustrated growl
"Oh fucking hell!" he leapt up and frantically scratched his head, back and arms "Bastard! How long am I going to have to put up with you, like this? Believe it or not Moony, I'm begging to miss your sense of propriety"
"I'd've done that, sense of propriety or not" Remus laughed, watching Sirius as he dramatically scratched every inch of his body. Putting his hands and fingers all over his body... his toned, perfect...
"D'you want to go up to my room?" Said Remus abruptly
"Oh okay" Sirius grinned "What about the tea?"
"Sod the tea" Remus grinned back. "I'll race you!" he said, taking off into the living room and near flying up the stairs, Sirius moaning behind him
"That's not fair! You had a head start!"
*
"What's up with your ceiling?" Sirius sniggered, pointing at the elaborate night sky painted there.
"My mum used to paint" he flopped down on the bed, unbuckling his belt and tugging off his jumper "There used to be a full moon right above my bed. She ended up painting over that" he chuckled to himself "Lord knows why" he mumbled, beginning to unbutton his shirt, smirking as he did it.
"They won't hear us?" Sirius asked, unfastening his robes, he always had to wear robes at home. Remus shrugged, his shirt falling from his shoulders as he did.
"Not entirely sure I care"
"That's good enough for me" Sirius smiled and Remus undid his jeans, lying back and catching the other boy's eye as he did, his eyes not clouded with lust, as Sirius hoped they might be, but a little strange. A little pale. A little sad.
"Full moon tonight" he said quietly
"I thought it was yesterday"
"You thought wrong" he sighed "You won't be able to come with me"
"Why not? Your mum won't see, James brought the Cloak"
"if I'm home mum will normally sit up. The ministry will probably detect your transformation, anyway"
"S'pose" Sirius frowned "Will you be alright, do you think?"
"... I don't really want to think about it"
"Fair enough. Shame the full moon had to clash with the holidays, a bit disappointed I have to miss out on this month's fun, to be honest" Sirius said, dropping his robes to the ground and sitting next to Remus on the bed, while the other boy scowled and tugged his socks off.
"Well I'm bloody glad someone enjoys it"
"I didn't mean it like that"
"How did you mean it?"
"... I've no idea"
"Stupid git. And take your socks off"
"My feet'll get cold"
"But you look like a tosser"
"Do you care?"
"... not really, no" Remus grinned and began to plant a series of light kisses across Sirius's collar bone, lying his down and hooking his fingers into Sirius's boxers. "Why on earth are you still wearing these?" Sirius paused and thought for a moment.
"... I've no idea" Remus laughed and began working his way down Sirius's torso and then collapsed with a sigh when there was a loud crashing on the stairs. Peter and James banged through the door.
"We're here for all of eight minutes and you two are already..." James crinkled his nose in disgust "It's terribly rude you know"
"Duly noted." Remus sighed "Now would you mind fucking off?"
"No way! We're your guests! We want entertaining" Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes
"Would this count as entertainment?" He made a pull at Sirius's boxers. Sirius yelped and sat up, Peter flinched and James merely crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "... Ooh feeling brave are we Potter?"
"Not Brave. Just calling your bluff. An arsehole you are and exhibitionist however, you are not. And no amount of PMT or whatever you're calling it is going to changed that" James ruffled his hair and folded his arms, body language screaming arrogant bastard.
"I hate you" Sirius groaned.
"Yeah, I know." He smirked and clapped his hands together "Well, pub any one?"
"The nearest village is five miles away" Remus growled. James tutted.
"So? Like I said, we're your guests you should be entertaining us"
"I'm entertaining Sirius!"
"Yeah! He's entertaining me!"
"Don't care. You've got ten minutes to get dressed and have a cold shower" Sirius looked at a sneering James and a glaring Remus.
"Oh sodding hell" he groaned and slipped out from underneath Remus, heading for the bathroom, feeling Remus's glare burning his back as he left.
*
After a very unpleasant ninety minute walk in the bitter cold, with a whinging Peter, a sniggering particularly supercilious James and a hormonal, sexually frustrated werewolf in tow , they eventually reached the nearest village, finding the pub almost instantly.
As they stepped through the door, they were hit with a wall of cigarette smoke, darkness and the dirty looks of the largely middle aged and overweight locals.
"You won't get served" Peter mumbled, shaking his head. James scoffed
"Yeah, I won't get served. We learned that the last time we went to the Three Broomsticks-"
"Had we gone to the Hogshead like I suggested, we'd've gotten served" Remus muttered with a scowl.
"Oh shut up. Anyway, like I was say before I was so rudely interrupted, I won't get served, but I bet Padfoot would"
"What makes you so sure about that Prongs?" Peter asked.
"He's tallest" James shrugged. Sirius frowned
"Moony's the same height as me" he said. Remus stood nose to nose with Sirius. Sirius could see just over the top of Remus's head.
"See, I'm not. You got taller than me at some point." Remus smiled and Sirius frowned.
"Did I?" he said a little disbelieving. Remus had always been taller than him.
"Well clearly you did, you daft git." James sneered "And even if Moony was taller you still look older. He's too lanky" he laughed.
"Right. So I'm shorter than Padfoot, yet I'm somehow lankier." Remus said indignantly.
"Well, you are. You're all skinny and wonky" James grinned, locking eyes with Sirius, who grinned back.
"Can't argue with that mate, you tripped over your own feet twice on the way here" Remus glared at Sirius, mouth opening and closing, he sighed.
"... fair enough"
"So..." Sirius clapped his hands together "what will you all be drinking?"
"Muggle beer!" James called "Muggle beer for all! We'll have a lager, I think!"
"Right-o, wish me luck, fellows!" Sirius grinned and trotted over to the bar, slamming a hand on the counter "Four pints of your finest muggle larger!" The barman was, very much like his patrons, a large surly looking man, who looked at Sirius as if he'd just tried to fuck his mother.
"What did you just call me?"
"Excuse me?"
"I said, what did you just call me? You southern ponce." Sirius felt the bottom drop from his stomach. He thought fast.
"Ah... muggle... erm... in London... that's just like another word for mate"
"Whatever you say." He narrowed his eyes even further "Four pints of lager, was it?"
"Yes, yes it was my good... muggle"
"Right... that'll be four quid mate"
"Um... one moment please" Sirius scuttled back over to the group, who had taken a seat in a booth away from the bar. "You didn't give me the muggle money"
"Aah... I didn't bring the muggle money... bollocks" Remus made a nervous apologetic face.
"Oh for fucks sake Moony" James cuffed him on the back of the head.
"Well, why don't you try remembering to pick up a few bit of muggle paper with a massive hard on!"
"Stop bickering. I brought some just in case" Said Peter, proudly pulling a muggle twenty pound not from his pocket. James grinned.
"Oh dear sweet Wormtail. Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"No... no you haven't" Peter flushed, Sirius felt a bit sick and returned to the surly Barman, drumming his fingers on the counter.
"There you go, Muggle!"
"Enjoy your drinks" he said, Sirius was sure he heard the man mutter something like "Poncey, long haired tit" under his breath. Sirius carried two pints to the table, then returned for the others.
"I can't believe you got served" Peter chuckled, pulling one of the glasses toward him. "I wonder what this'll taste like"
"Can't be much different from butter beer, can it?" Remus said nervously, lifting his glass to his lips. Sirius shrugged and took a sip of the beer. It was nothing like butter beer. It was bitter. Extremely bitter. Possibly the worst thing he'd ever tasted in his whole life.
"What the fuck is this?" Sirius snapped, spitting half his beer back into his glass.
"That's fucking foul" spluttered James.
"It tastes like... evil... evil condensed into an amber liquid" Remus choked. Peter seemed to be unable to find words to fit his dislike, he merely scrunched up his face and shuddered. They all stared for a moment, scowling at the rank liquid before them, exchanging fretful glances.
"I'll give ten galleons to the first one of you that finishes it" James smirked. Peter, instantly jumping on the opportunity to gain some brownie points, picked up his glass and tried to pour it down his throat. Sirius, not to be beaten by Wormtail picked up his glass and began to drink as well. Remus, rolling his eyes and wearing a look that said why the fuck not, also joined in. They all finished at round the same time, slamming their glasses on the table and belching.
"That was too close to judge"
"Get fucked Prongs!"
"You didn't think I was actually going to give you the money, did you?"
"Fantastic. I just drank the yellowish-brown vomit of a fat Yorkshire man for nothing"
"... actually" Remus said, smacking his lips "I don't think it's that bad once you get used to it"
"You've got to be joking Moony" Said Peter, whose face was still screwed up in disgust. Remus Shrugged
"What? It's alright once you get used to the..." he tailed off, unable to think of the word.
"Rank bitterness?" James suggested. Remus shrugged again
"Yeah, pretty much"
*
Remus had another beer and Sirius, James and Peter tried the muggle vodka, which they also declared bitter and rank. It was only five o'clock when the sky began to darken and Remus decided they'd better get home before he transformed and savaged a village. It took them a little longer to walk back this time, considering they were all a little tipsy and by the time they did return to the Lupin's cottage, Remus's mum was already sitting on the sofa, nervously gnawing her bottom lip and shaking her foot. The radio was on but she didn't look much like she was listening to it. Remus, who had been growing steadily more wobbly, staggered to the cellar door and stumbled down the stairs. Sirius could just see him flopping down onto the floor, before the door was closed and bolted shut. James quietly asked if anyone wanted tea, Sirius nodded but Peter said nothing, focussing on Mrs. Lupin as she set up a series of wards and protection charms around the door, occasionally squeaking as she did.
"You alright Mrs. Lupin?"
"I'm perfectly fine" she said with a smile "I've done this about seventy times and tonight won't be any different" She rubbed the bridge of her nose "Just no John, this time." She sighed and walked to stairs. "You did all bring sleeping bags didn't you?" they shook their head. She smiled and waved her wand, conjuring four comfortable looking sleeping bags. Sorry about you having to sleep down here... no spare room and Remus's room's a bit small"
"It's fine, none of us mind"
"Oh good. Well... good night boys"
"But it's not even Seven O'clock yet" Said Peter
"I'm very tired" she said, near a whisper, walking up to stairs. They heard the gentle click of the door, then exchanged a glance.
"Fucking hell" James muttered, then sighed, turning to the radio "Oh well... do you think this picks up any muggle stations?"
"Dunno" Sirius shrugged James picked the radio up and began to twiddle with the knobs
"What's wrong with our music?" said Peter indignantly.
"For fucks sake Wormtail how many times do we have to go through this. Our music, or rather, your music is complete shit" Sirius snapped
"You have to hand it to the muggles for their music. It's one of the few things they do a lot better than us" James shrugged
"My music is just as good as any of that muggle stuff" Peter huffed
"Wormtail! Accept defeat already, your music is a complete load of bollocks!" James shouted, continuing to twiddle with the radio. "Ah! Here we go!" James grinned. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen blasted out from the small speakers.
"Turn it down a bit!" asked Sirius, as the sound of Freddie Mercury's piano threatened to burst his ear drums
"Nope. Suns about to go down. I know you're a fan of Remus screaming-" James snorted.
"Not in this context, wanker!" Sirius snapped. James chuckled and turned the radio up a little more.
"What does Remus do for fun around here?" Peter asked, perching on the edge of the sofa.
"He reads" Sirius said. Peter screwed up his face at the idea. "Surprisingly Peter, not everyone's as much of a philistine as you"
"What's a philistine?"
"... exactly"
*
They spent most of the evening chatting and arguing over the radio. Mrs. Lupin must have put a silencing charm up around the cellar door, when the series of ear splitting shrieks Sirius was expecting never came. They went to bed quite early, James declaring he was going to floo home in the morning and pick up his broom, so they could go flying tomorrow.
*
Sirius woke at an obscene time in the morning after hearing an unholy crash from below him, which told him that Mrs. Lupin's silencing charms weren't quite as strong as they should have been. He squeezed his eyes shut and slid down in his sleeping bag but it did nothing to drown out the howls and bangs.
Giving up, he slowly unzipped himself and walked into the Lupin's kitchen, where Mrs. Lupin sat, swallowed up in a large fluffy dressing gown, a smoking stick dangling from her mouth and her knuckles white around a glass of Firewhisky.
"Mrs. Lupin?" Sirius asked, she looked up at him. Her eyes, wide, light and bloodshot.
"Call me Rhea, Sirius. Mrs. Lupin makes me feel very old" she whispered, taking the stick from her mouth, smoke curling from her nose and mouth.
"Sorry. Are you alright?" She nodded
"Fag?" she said, offering a box with the smoking sticks in.
"No thanks.... what is it?"
"A cigarette. Just some paper and a filter, filled with a dried up plant called tobacco, you light it up and breath it in." She coughed with a wheeze and took a sip of her drink. "Muggles smoke them. Calms you down" There was another crash followed by another howl. She shuddered and took a big gulp of the drink.
"Did I wake you?" she asked. Sirius almost wanted to laugh, he'd hardly heard the woman talk above a whisper.
"No, you-" there was another crash and a furious sounding growl "-you didn't" Sirius stood in silence, Mrs. Lupin nibbling her bottom lip as they listened to the continual poundings, crashings, shrieks and howls.
"Sirius..." Mrs Lupin said "Erm... I'm going to need some help with him later. His dad always uses to help carry him out... both of us were always a bit hopeless at charms, you see. Didn't want to risk hurting his with a hover charm... any way... I'm not strong enough to get him so... since you're up-"
"That's absolutely fine with me Mrs. Lupin... erm... Rhea"
"Thank you Sweet Heart." She took another swig of her drink. "Look after him for me, won't you?"
"You mean tomorrow?" Their eyes fixed, she looked away quickly, mumbling and stubbing her cigarette out on the table.
"Yes... tomorrow... look after him. Please look after him"
"I will."
A/N: Sorry for taking so long again! I suck... I really suck... but oh well! Now for the obligatory begging for reviews!
*Drops to knees* please please please please please!
Dignity fail =D
