I collected my swimsuit and a clean towel from my suitcase and made my way to the master bathroom, as I closed the door behind me. I looked at myself in the mirror, as my confused thoughts still plagued my mind… Love? Was it really love? Nah, I couldn't love Jay, it had to be lust or something…It was way too soon for me to love him…Plus I couldn't love him, cause I refused to love someone that I knew it just simply wouldn't work out with. I mean there is no way he had those feelings for me, so I must of just been confused…I couldn't love him…I shrugged and slightly laughed at myself for thinking I actually loved him, God, I must have been so pathetic…I switched into my swimsuit and glanced at myself in the mirror, as I wrapped the towel around my body and tied it tightly as I took a deep breath and made my way out to the pool.

I got out to the patio and Jay was no where to be found, I looked around the grill that was there, and saw the chicken we were planning on cooking sitting next to the grill. I looked around the grill and cooking area, looking at the various cooking instruments and seasons that laid there. I walked over to the pool and let my eyes run over the clear water, staring into the abyss when I heard a familiar voice. "You can jump in, if you want…" I turned around to see Jay walking out to the patio, carrying a couple bottles of alcohol in his hands, his button down shirt open, letting my eyes take in the great view of his chest, he had slipped his jeans off and was walking around in his boxers. I smiled as my eyes took in the sight of him, he really was too damn cute, as his smirk lazily crossed his lips, "What?" he asked shrugging his shoulders a bit. I laughed a bit when I spoke "I thought you swim in the nude?" I said with a smile, when Jay turned back to me after setting the bottles down on the small counter next to the grill, as he responded "I do, but grilling in the nude is a big No-No" I shook my head before I responded " learn from experience?" Jay smiled as he retorted "There are just some parts of the human body that should never be near an open flame" causing me to laugh.

I stripped out of my towel and laid it across the small outdoor sitting area he had on his patio, as I made my way back to the pool and jumped in. Swimming has always cleared my mind, I used to be an avid surfer, and have always loved the water. I swam in the nice cool water, letting it wash over me as I did a couple laps in the pool. I stopped and swam to the edge of the pool when I heard the sound of a blender, as I watched Jay cook in his little cooking station near the grill. I watched him cook for a bit before I continued with my laps in the pool, I got the to the edge of the pool, wiping my eyes when I noticed two feet standing on the edge above me. I looked up to see his blue eyes staring down at me, a sexy smirk spread across his features. I blushed as he continued to leer at me, when he spoke "Having fun?" I shrugged, when I spoke "I've always loved the water". Jay leaned down giving me his hands as I gladly accepted them and he helped me out of the pool, I got out of the pool as he wrapped his arms around my wet waist when he spoke "It looks good on you" I rolled my eyes as I responded "You're such a dork" as I moved out of his arms, only to have his arms wrap around my waist tightly from behind, his mouth just inches outside of my ear, as I squirmed with delight. "But you like me that way" as I turned my head back to look into his eyes, as I smiled and met his lips with mine just for a moment.

Jay led me to the sitting area as I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my waist, and took a seat as Jay brought two margaritas over with him as he sat next to me. I took my margarita from his hand as I asked him "You trying to get me drunk?" with a smile he spoke "Nah, I don't need to get you drunk to get into your pants" as I faked shock as I spoke "Oh thanks!" I said smiling as Jay simply shrugged with a smile, before he continued "Plus, I would want you to remember the fun times we have together" he said smirking before wrapping his arm around my shoulders, as he sipped his margarita. I laughed as an idea crossed my mind, I quickly reached a couple fingers into my frozen margarita and flung the slush onto his bare chest, as he threw his head backwards and yelped as the cold slush hit his bare chest. I heard him moan as the cold liquid began to melt on his skin and ran down his chest.

I couldn't help it as my eyes never left him, he looked so sexy there with the cold slush on his chest, I couldn't help myself as I quickly leaned forward, my hands on top of his pinning them to the couch as I moved my mouth to his chest, licking the now melted slush off his chest. My mouth just couldn't get enough of his taste, mixed with the margarita, it was intoxicating, like a drug I just couldn't get enough of. I let my tongue lick up to the nape of his neck, hearing him moan deeply in his chest, as I brought my eyes to his, his blue eyes dark as I sat back and grabbed my margarita and sipped it once again, acting innocent.

I watched as Jay slipped out of his loose shirt, throwing it on an empty chair nearby, as he grabbed his margarita and spoke confidently "Oh, you wanna play like that huh?" I watched as he smirked at me, moving closer to me. He got closer and closer to me, only mere inches from me, I watched as he let two fingers dip into his margarita, and then quickly let the cold digits meet with my chest, the frozen slush melt and move down in between the valley of my breasts, as I squirmed, trying to deal with the cold slush on my warm body. I smiled, as I quickly lunged forward, taking his cold digits in my mouth, licking the remnants of the margarita off of his fingers. My eyes never left his as I sucked the rest of the Margarita from his fingers, the look deep in his eyes, as soon as his fingers left my mouth, he lunged forward and brought his lips to mine. My cold lips meeting his warm ones, as his tongue snaked out and tasted the margarita goodness I still had in my mouth, as my tongue danced with his. I soon forgot the cold slush melting down my chest, as I closed my eyes and kissed him back with just as much passion as he was giving me.

The kiss broke when I felt his hands began to untie the top of my swimsuit. I tensed immediately as I looked around suspiciously, "No one can see in here right?" I said eerily as I eyed his backyard, Jay smiled as he brought his lips to my neck. " Nope, I like my privacy" he said his lips not leaving my skin, as I felt my swimsuit top loosen, and within moments Jay had my top off of me, laying on top of his shirt thrown to the side. The warm night air felt good on my wet skin, as I felt Jay lean forward pushing me back onto the couch, his body covering mine, I could feel the still mild coldness of the margarita slush between our flesh, when his lips connected with mine once again, his tongue dominating mine, as I stared into the deep blue pools of his. The passionate kiss broke, as he gently began leaving butterfly kisses down my jawline and down my neck, I let my hands splay out on his broad shoulders. God, his skin felt so good under my fingertips, as I let my fingers ghostly roam over his shoulders and down his back, working my way to the waistline of his boxers, as I let the tips of my fingers gently slide under the waistband.

I squirmed as he suddenly sucked a piece of skin into his mouth, giving me a 'love bite', as his hands roamed my body. I felt his one hand massaging my breast as he rolled the nipple between his forefinger and thumb, while the other was slowly making its way down my stomach, lingering at the waistband of my swimsuit bottoms. I couldn't help but arch, as his hand slipped underneath, and he let his thumb brush against my nub. I couldn't help but let the moan escape my lips, as his thumb continued to work on my nub in my most private of areas, I could feel him smile against the skin of my neck as he whispered "MMMmmm just for me?" I tried to calm my squirming as I tried to piece together a coherent sentence, I replied "Always", as I felt his hand leave my bottoms, as he released the skin of my neck from his lips. Lifting his head just gently, so I could look into his blue eyes, he brought the same hand between us, as I watched him lick his thumb provocatively, blatantly sexual, and definitely meant to encourage the already forming arousal between my legs.

My body felt strangely empty when he sat up and leaned back on his knees, as my eyes contorted to a surprised look as I sat up leaning back on my elbows just watching him. I watched him smirk as he spoke "just getting more comfortable", as I watched him stand and strip out of his boxers. I couldn't help but let my eyes slowly rake up his legs, sure, I had seen him naked before but I just couldn't help myself when I was near him. It was like the first time every time I was near him, I was brought out of my thoughts, when he quickly leaned forward and, grasped my swim suit bottoms, swiftly pulling them off of me and tossing them aside, a sexy smile plastered on his face as his raked up my body. I couldn't help but feel a bit exposed as we were out on his patio, as my hands instinctively tried to cover myself. I watched as he leaned forward, leaning his weight on one knee that was stationed between my legs, intent on keeping them open as he reached forward and pulled my hands away from covering myself, when I heard him speak in barely a whisper "Don't hide that beautiful body from me, baby". I looked into his blue eyes, a sexy smirk across his lips, as I moved my hands to my side, fighting the urge to cover myself.

I couldn't help but blush when he gave me a quick wink, when he spoke again "I just realized I never got to drink my Margarita", my eyes grew wide when I saw him lift his glass into his hand, I watched him take a quick drink, when he spoke "It's missing something…..Something sweet", I was caught by surprise when he quickly lunged forward, simply letting his tongue run a circle around my navel, as I squirmed when his tongue touched my skin. I still watched as he sat back on his knees once again, a broad smile on his face as he spoke once again "There it is…" and before I could process what he had said, he started with my chest and poured a slight trail of his margarita down my chest, around each of my nipples, down my abs, around my navel, and ending on the small patch of hair before the juncture of my thighs.

I breathed through gritted teeth, as I felt the coldness hit my warm skin, as I restrained from the urge to jump up and wipe off the coldness from my skin. I let my eyes reconnect with his blue ones, as he seemed to enjoy watching me squirm. I spoke "No fair" when I saw him smile as he retorted "You looked like you needed to cool down." I closed my eyes as I felt the cold slush melt on my skin, and my eyes jolted open when I felt a familiar feeling. I opened my eyes and looked down my body to meet his blue eyes, as I watched his tongue snake out of his mouth and make its way the whole length of my wet slit again, spending a few extra moments flicking over my already sensitive nub, causing me to moan, as my hands immediately found their way into his short blonde hair. I looked down as I felt his tongue leave me again, only to see him give me a smile once more, as his tongue once again ran the length of my slit, causing me to squirm once more. This time when his tongue left me, it ran up to my navel, licking up all of the remnants of the margarita. His mouth attaching to my skin over my navel, I could feel the stubble on his cheek rubbing against my navel, as he sucked up any and every drop of the margarita that was left on my skin.

I left my hands in his hair, as his mouth made its way up my body, following the trail he had made with the margarita earlier, I couldn't help my body reacting, when his mouth enclosed around my one nipple. The coldness of the margarita, causing my nipple to harden, and I couldn't help but squirm as his warm tongue lapped at the nipple, while it was enclosed in the cavern of his mouth. He was setting my body on fire, and I couldn't help but wonder if he knew what he was doing to me, as I looked down into his blue eyes, as he greedily sucked on the other nipple, his blue eyes meeting mine. The smirk on his lips told me, he enjoyed driving me crazy with his actions, probably as much as I enjoy it. He let my nipple free from his lips, licking the last bit of margarita up, his lips met mine once again, his tongue running over my bottom lip, as I could feel his erection against my tummy. The kiss broke, our lips only mere centimeters apart as he spoke against my lips "Usually I like taking my time, but I need you…now…." He spoke, almost in a feverish tone, I smiled as I cupped his face in my hands as I brought my lips to his, kissing him with an amount of passion that seemed to catch him off guard as I responded "Take me Jay…Please…I need you" I watched the smile crawl on his lips, as I felt him reach between our bodies and begin to position himself at my entry. I lifted my legs, locking them around his hips, as I felt him slowly enter me, causing me to sigh with relief when he was fully inside me.

This love making session was more passionate than what I'm used to with Jay. Jay usually liked to take his time, but the feelings and urges both him and me were having couldn't wait, as his lips met mine again, his tongue dancing with mine, as he began the rhythm. He pulled almost all the way out before slamming back into me, causing my breath to hitch in the back of my throat, Jay immediately found the right angle, and immediately was hitting my spot deep inside me. It seemed the more we were together, the easier he found my spot. I bit my lip as I held in my moans, I tried to stay quiet considering we were still outside and who knew if any of his neighbors were outside, and they didn't need to hear our little rendezvous. Jay's eyes never left mine as he pumped into me at a quick pace, I could tell he wasn't gonna last much longer as the passion was overtaking both of us, and I could feel the build up coming on quick for me. I fought the build up as I was determined not to go over that edge without him, Jay noticing it, as my body tensed. His lips finding their way outside of my ear as he whispered to me "Let it go…Let it go..Let me feel it baby" as I felt his hand reach between us and quickly and gently pinch my clit, sending me over the edge as my pussy begin constricting around his member, as the waves of my orgasm washed over me, and just moments later I felt Jay find his release deep within me.

We both laid there for moments, just trying to regain our breathing, as his lips met mine again with a soft, gentle kiss. I couldn't help but speak "That was…whoa" is the only thing I could muster, as I heard Jay laugh out loud, when he spoke "Ditto…" I couldn't help but smile as we both laid on the couch together, his arm draped around me, as we spooned together on the couch, his fingers intertwined with mine. Silence encased us for a moment as we listened to the sounds of the night, the ocean could be heard in the distance, a slight breeze was blowing through the trees, when I turned to face Jay on the small couch. "Well I think we probably stained your couch for life" I said with a smile, as Jay smiled wide, wrapping his arms around me pulling me closer to his body when he spoke "Actually, this had always been a fantasy of mine." I looked up into his eyes "Really?" I said with a quirked eyebrow, Jay smiled wide "Definitely, this couch needed some action", I couldn't help but laugh, as Jay captured my lips in another gentle kiss, he gently sucked my bottom lip in between his, as his hands ran up my bare back.

We laid on the couch for moments, when suddenly the tranquility of the moment was disturbed by a loud, beeping sound. The alarm startled us enough, as I practically fell off of the couch, as Jay shot up to a sitting position. Jay jumped off of the couch, as he quickly pulled me to my feet, both of us looking around to see what the alarm was. It didn't take us long to notice the black smoke coming from the grill. "Oh great" Jay muttered as we both ran to the pile of clothes we discarded earlier, Jay pulling on his boxers, as I wrapped my bare body in the towel from earlier. I watched as Jay fought with the grill, and as soon as the top opened black smoke billowed out of the grill onto the porch, as the smoke detector continued to beep loudly. I covered my mouth with my hand, and honestly I couldn't help but laugh as I saw Jay pull a small fire extinguisher from the cabinet and soon enough the chicken and flames were covered with the foam that had been inside of the extinguisher only moments before.

The smoke detector finally had silenced, as I still watched Jay who was continuing to cover the chicken and grill with the foam of the extinguisher. The extinguisher had emptied out, as Jay turned to me, as he gave me a sexy smirk before saying "I always wanted to be a firefighter." I laughed out loud as he wiped the sweat from his brow, I walked over to him, wiping some of the foam that had made it on his forehead and not on the small flames, "Why so you can fight fires in your underwear?" I asked with a smile, and without missing a beat he retorted "No, so I can have my own hunky calendar" he said with a smile, as he flexed his biceps for a moment. I smiled at him, God, he was too damn adorable. I walked up to him, cupping his face in my hands, I let my lips brush across his for a moment, before I spoke "I'm gonna go get dressed" as I began to walk into the house. I was stopped when Jay, grasped me by the wrist and pulled me back to face him, as he spoke just mere centimeters from my lips "Why Bother? I plan on getting you naked later…" he said with a quick wink, as I blushed slightly. I looked into his deep blue eyes as I responded "You do huh? Well I guess I better wear something with easy access then" I said with a smile, as he let my wrist go, as I walked into the house, as Jay picked up the phone and dialed the local Chinese delivery place.

Later that night, I lay in bed with Jay, his arm draped over my waist, his front snuggled up to my back, as he slept peacefully after another 2 sessions of lovemaking and some delicious Chinese food. The thoughts plagued my mind, and it was then that I knew what I had to do. I had to let Jay go, I made a mistake by letting him getting too close to me and that was evident after the events of that evening. I always said this would never work out, and now I found myself too attached to him, and in the end it would just end in heartbreak. I was holding him back, no matter what he said, he deserved better than what I could give him, so when I flew back to Vegas the next day, I would have to push him away…and hopefully he will find someone who can give him all he deserves…

A month later…

I flew back to Vegas the next day, and to say my every thought wasn't on Jay would be a lie. I had decided the best option for both of us, would be for me to just cut him off, soon enough he would get the hint. I hadn't talked to him at all, I refused to take his calls and I had told Jade that we had broken up. I hated doing this to Jay, but he deserved so much more than me, I didn't care what he said…I had so many feelings for Jay, I honestly think I loved him, and because of that alone, I loved him so much I had to do what I thought was best for him, and to me, he deserved more than me.

I tried to move on with my life, but I couldn't move past Jay. I couldn't get rid of the photos of me and him, as those pictures watched me as I laid in my bed. The same bed Jay and I had shared many times before. I would roll over in the middle of the night, and reach for him, and then cry myself to sleep knowing that I could never be as good as he deserved. I did all this in private of course, in front of Jade and everyone else I was happy as a clam…if only they could see the pain deep in my soul.