I watched as Joey Mac took center stage, the other four scurrying backstage, as Joey began the song "Stay the Same". I felt Jay's arms pull me closer to his body, his lips just outside my ears when I heard Jay speak "I want you to listen to this song, it's just for you". I glanced back at Jay's smiling face, before turning my attention back to Joey who was now standing right in front of me on the stage as he sang the first line, he slowly nodded his head, as if he was telling me, the song was directed towards me.
Don't
you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The
way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way
you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by
far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing
about you I would change
I think that you could be
Whatever
you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have
inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just
open up your heart and let it show you the way
Don't you ever
wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you
are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you
are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by
far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing
about you I would change
Believe in yourself
Reach down
inside
The love you find will set you free
Believe in
yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You'll
make it through
Whoa...Hey!
Don't you ever wish you were
someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't
you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to
love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always
stay the same
Cause there's nothing about you I would
chaaange
Ooooooh yeah
You were meant to be
Oh
whoa..
Whooo Love yourself..
And I hope you always stay the
same
Cause there's nothing about you I would change
No there's
nothing about you I would change
I've never been so quiet in my life as I listened to Joey sing the song. I had heard this song before, this was the song Joey had released on his solo CD, and even though I had heard this song before this was like the first time I had heard it. The words floated into my ears, and it felt like my brain accepted each word, as if Jay was telling it to me from his mouth himself. I couldn't help but be in awe, and for some weird reason I believed the words this time when they floated in my ears. I didn't deny the fact that Jay meant exactly what the song told me, but it was also the thought that he would work this all up, trying to prove to me. The song ended as the audience applauded, and I couldn't help the tears that were stinging my eyes, as a loan tear escaped and rolled down my cheek, as I felt Jay's fingertips grasp my chin, turning my head back so my eyes could meet mine. Even though it was as loud as can be, I heard Jay plain and simple say "I mean it, every word of that song…You never have to change, cause you are perfect to me" his eyes pouring into mine, as his hands pulled me closer to his body. My mind was in a whirlwind, my emotions were running wild.
Before the arena could go quiet the beginning notes for another song began playing, as I turned back to the stage. I watched the 4 other members rush back to the stage, taking their positions behind Joey as another song started. I knew this song, as Jordan stepped off, and Joey began the song. Jordan was standing near us, as he looked down at us, smiling at me directly as he mouthed the words "for you" and pointed to me, as I nodded my head. I listened as Joey started the song "Stare At You"
I still get lost, caught in a daze,
Tongue
tied, just like the very first day...
I saw you and I'm so
amazed
Cause the look that got me twisted still hasn't
changed
Your sexy eyes never lie,
Baby, I lose myself
Girl, forget about goin' out
Baby, I'd rather melt
I
can just stare at you forever (Oh, baby)
I can be here with you
doing whatever (My lady)
It's not the way you look that brings me
to my knees,
It's the way you look at me
I could just stare at
you forever
If forever you were staring at me
What do you
see? I can't figure it out
You're talking to my heart without
making a sound
I listened to them sing the song, as my thoughts ran wild in my mind. I listened, as Jay leaned forward just outside my ear and whispered to me " I told you I'd be happy just staring at you, cause this is what you do to me", as I felt his hands, try to pull me closer to his body, but it was physically impossible. I continued to watch the 5 men sing on the stage, but deep in my mind, the thoughts continued to run wild. I couldn't understand why the thoughts continued to run wild, and finally, like a bolt of lighting had hit me, it donned on me. I loved Jay, I did love him…I had fought so long denying it, but the feeling was just too strong, I couldn't deny it anymore. I almost let the tears fall, as the realization had hit me and hit me hard. I had always been the type of person that the only way to get through to me was to hit me over the head and that is exactly what my emotions had done, it hit me like a ton of bricks…I did love Jay. The question that remained in my heart was, would I be brave enough to take a chance on my heart.
I can't lose
when I'm caught in your eyes
(I feel like superman) Got me up in
the sky
Your sexy eyes never lie
Baby, I lose my ground...
(You're so gorgeous, oh...)
Girl, forget
about goin' out
Baby, I want you now...
I
can just stare at you forever (Oh, baby)
I can be here with you
doing whatever (My lady)
It's not the way you look that brings me
to my knees,
It's the way you look at me
I could just stare at
you forever
If forever you were staring at me
Baby,
keep the lights on
I'm gonna stare at you all night long
And
we'll keep rocking 'til the sun shines
Waiting 'till the moonlight
to do it again
I can just stare at
you forever (Oh, baby)
I can be here with you doing whatever (My
lady)
It's not the way you look that brings me to my knees,
It's
the way you look at me
I could just stare at you forever
If
forever you were staring at me
The song had ended and I wiped away the tears that were escaping from my eyes, as I watched Donnie walk down from the platform. It felt like each of the five guys, took their turns looking at me, during the song, almost checking to make sure I was paying attention. I smiled when Joey seemed to be shocked by the tears escaping my eyes during the song. Donnie walked down the steps, glancing at me quickly before talking to the crowd "I have to explain something to ya…there's a girl in the crowd tonight who needed to hear those words…those words that her boyfriend wanted her to know" he said with a smile, as the crowd roared. Donnie smiled as the roar dulled and he continued "You see, this guy approached us during our face time earlier tonight…said his girl didn't know just how much he loved her…that she didn't believe him when he told her how perfect she was" Donnie getting more and more emotional with each saying, as he finished "well, we decided to help him out, and I wanted her and all of you to know, that every single one of you is beautiful and perfect to us men…"Donnie smiled as the crowd roared the loudest I had heard it, the other 4 members applauding loudly. I was almost in awe, when I heard them and I knew they were talking about me.
I watched the rest of the concert, Jay's arms wrapped around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder as he rested his weight on me. The smell of his cologne, escaping into my nostrils, as I took a deep breath and inhaled it. The emotions and thoughts running through my mind were brought to a stop, as I focused on the rest of the concert. The last song ended as the fellas shook hands off the stage, I made sure I got my hand shook by each member, even Jordan kissed my hand as he grabbed it. Each member shook Jay's hand also. Donnie made his way to our side of the stage, surprising me as he once again jumped off the stage, security rushing to protect him. Donnie came over, embracing me in a tight hug, as he spoke into my ears "Give him a chance" as I smiled, and let him go, I watched as he shook Jay's hand and spoke loudly "Take care of her bro!" he said with a smile, as Jay nodded, and Donnie jumped back onstage.
The concert ended and we slowly made our way out of the arena, we were standing behind the crowd waiting for them to exit as Jay and I stood next to each other quietly. Jay reached out, and intertwined his fingers with mine, and for moments we stood there, content. We had finally made our way out of the arena, but still were stuck in the crowd in the concession area, when I heard Jay speak "So was it worth it?", I turned to Jay, with a wide smile on my face when I spoke " Definitely…you have no idea how amazing that was for me", holding my program and pictures tight in my free arm. The smile was plastered on my face when we finally escaped from the concession area, our hand still connected, Jay and I began to wonder aimlessly around the casino.
I was watching players betting on the roulette wheel, when Jay spoke up "you hungry?". I looked to him, he had a smirk plastered on his face, as he swung our connected arms freely. I smiled as I spoke "I could eat." Jay's smile grew wide as he spoke "Well, we could hit a restaurant, or my room is on the 10th floor, and they have 24 hour room service", my eyebrows cocked as he suggested it when he quickly added "No pressure, No expectations…" I smiled at him as he explained it, when I spoke "Room service sounds good" watching as his eyes sparkled, and he led me to the elevator. Within moments, we were in his hotel room, as I sat my purse, program and pictures down on the table he had there, as Jay grabbed the room service menu, and plopped on the bed. I grabbed my phone checking it for messages, when Jay spoke "What are you in the mood for?" I simply shrugged my shoulders as I made my way over to the bed, plopping down next to him. Jay handed me the menu, as he rolled over to his back and turned on the TV with the remote, I let my eyes read over the menu finally deciding on what I wanted to eat. Jay sat up, called room service and ordered us our food, and then returned back to the bed as he flipped through the channels. I laid on my back, watching the hockey game he had finally decided on, when I heard him speak "So, is Donnie Wahlberg still your first love?" I looked over to him, as I rolled back on my side, I watched the smirk that was on his lips. I sighed as I spoke "You never get over your first crush I guess" watching as Jay rolled over to his side facing me.
We laid there for what seemed to be like hours, just staring at each other, looking deep into each others eyes, letting our eyes do the talking. I was brought out of my thoughts, when I started chuckling, seeing the confused look on Jay's face, I started to explain "I can't believe you did that tonight…" Jay smiled when he spoke "Well you wouldn't listen to me" I laughed a little louder, when suddenly Jay lunged towards me, his fingers tickling my stomach as he spoke in a high pitched voice "but I knew you'd listen to Donnie, and Danny, and Jordan…" he continued to name them off, as I squirmed under his fingers laughing hysterically. He finally took mercy on me, letting his fingers stop tickling me, as laid on the bed on my back, panting, trying to get my breath back, as he was now rolled over onto his stomach, laying half over me, half next to me. His blue eyes looking into mine, as I slowed my breathing. I couldn't help but let my eyes get caught up in his, as he fingers began a ghostly trail up my arms, leaving goosebumps from where they just touched. We stayed in that position for a while, when I cleared my throat, trying to break the awkwardness, fighting my urge to kiss him. I spoke "So you know the words to every song huh?" I said with a smile, as Jay rolled back over to his back when he spoke "Yes, but if you tell anyone, I'll deny it to my dying day" I laughed out loud, as I heard a knock on the door.
Room service had brought us our food, and within an hour, we both finished our meals and we laid contently on the bed, watching TV. Jay flipped through the TV stopping on HBO and the movie "The Happening" I couldn't help but laugh, when I saw Mark Wahlberg on the screen. Jay rolled his eyes when he looked over to me, "Geez, first Donnie and now Mark…You're just getting your Wahlberg fix tonight huh?" I laughed out loud when I responded "Hey, you're the one who turned the channel" Jay glanced over to me with a smirk as he spoke "Well, you're just lucky I like this movie" causing me to chuckle as we both concentrated on the movie.
The movie ended about an hour later, and I couldn't help but feel my eyes getting drowsy. I yawned and stretched my arms, while I laid on the bed, careful not to hit Jay, when I heard Jay speak "You are more then welcome to crash here tonight if you want." I turned my head to face him, as he laid on the other pillow, when he continued "No pressure or anything…just a night away from the madness of home" I smiled, as I nodded my head yes.
I texted Jade telling her I would be home tomorrow, and I knew I would get teased and tormented tomorrow when I finally went home, but I didn't care. I climbed into bed next to Jay, as we laid there on the bed watching a rerun of The Nanny, and within moments Jay and I were both fast asleep.
I woke up hours later, as I glanced to the clock that laid on the end table, and it read 5AM. I rubbed my face with my hands, as I looked down and realized Jay's arm was laying over my waist protectively, but I could still hear him breathing deeply, telling me he was still fast asleep. I don't know what woke me up, but the thoughts plagued my mind. I knew I wouldn't be able to get to sleep unless I got this off my chest, so I took a deep breath and carefully rolled over to face Jay. I somehow managed to roll over, still in Jay's arms, and I laid there watching him sleep, letting my eyes take in the sight of him. The look of his tousled hair, the slight whiskers appearing on his chin from not shaving, the small noise his breathing made when he slept, even the small smirk that appeared on his lips as he slept. I hated waking him up, but if I didn't get this off my chest I would never get back to sleep, so I spoke softly "Jay?" His eyes slowly opened as he tried to fully awake, he mumbled back "yeah?" as I watched his free hand rub his eyes.
