Barbara Gordon always knew what was going on with the Gotham vigilantes. She prided herself on it, made it part of her sense of self. But when she received messages from no less than three of her associates asking to mediate a competition which had been running for the past month or so without her knowledge, well, she was surprised. Maybe she'd been a bit distracted with her other cases lately. In any case, she arrived at a barren road near the narrows which was the preferred locale for underground street races and found herself in the midst of a very heated argument between the Wayne brothers in a various mix of vigilante and civilian attire.

"I should get extra stealth points for using Tim's safehouse without him knowing!"

"First of all,it wasn't a contest to keep something from me! And second of all, I caught you!"

"I still think I win for being first. And mine is the best."

"Best? Goldie, there's a reason your style is the penalty!"

"And mine is far superior to all others."

"Quiet!" cried Barbara, halting the argument in a herald of five different friendly greetings (With their night jobs, they really should have noticed her sooner. It's not like a wheelchair on gravel had much in the way of subtlety). "I'll decide who won. Tell me what happened one at a time. Dick?"

"Wow. Favoritism," grumbled Jason. "Why does he get to go first?"

"Because I'm starting with the oldest," Barbara said. "Go ahead, Dick."

Dick sent her his most charming smile, the one that meant he was attempting to schmooze her into announcing his victory, but would more likely result in her squandering his chance simply from spite. He proceeded to regale her with an over-dramatized tale of how he painstakingly restored and improved his favorite of B's old batmobiles before sequestering it away. At one point, he made mention of a confrontation at a Penguin-owned business in his quest for a camshaft, and Tim cackled for some reason.

At the end of his story, Barbara continued down the line. "Jason, you next."

Jason rubbed his hands together and his voice smoothed in the way that it used to when he would read aloud in his youth. "Alright, you've all heard of the Ship of Theseus paradox, right?"

Noises of affirmation and sudden insight abounded.

"Great. So I Ship-of-Theseus-ed B's batmobile. I stole it piece by piece slowly over the course of a month and a half and he didn't suspect a thing! Now I've got the original batmobile and B has a copy. I even made up a fake case report to give him to explain why Alley kids were stealing batmobile components."

"Points for authenticity," Duke muttered.

"You got kids involved?" Dick asked.

"I didn't pay 'em or nothing!" Jason said defensively. "I just told them how to get past the security and they were chomping at the bit to get pieces to me. They weren't in any danger, I promise."

"And you won after Dick?" Barbara asked.

"By like an hour," Jason confirmed. "But yeah, second to get a batmobile."

"Alright. Tim, you're next."

Tim looked smug as he started to explain, "I decided to go with the plan that already worked for me when I was fourteen. So I was fourth place, technically, but really, I was the first to steal a batmobile. And I think I should get bonus points for succeeding twice.

"Anyway, I snuck the batmobile request into the WE reports under the batarangs budget."

"Batarangs?" repeated Duke. "How much do we spend on batarangs for you to hide an entire batmobile in it?

"A lot," Tim answered. "That being said, if any of you would like to donate batarangs to my Red Robin supply, I would graciously accept."

Damian scoffed at the mere idea, but Dick laughed and said, "I'll give you one (1) batarang."

Tim chuckled. "I'll take it. So, yeah, I stole a batmobile from WE, and added a few features to improve it, even synthesizing a new alloy for better strength and durability."

"Alright. Thank you, Tim," Barbara said. "Duke, you next."

"I went to an alternate dimension and stole mine from an alternate Batman," Duke said. "Oh, yeah, and I was third place." And it seemed that the story was done there, or perhaps he just paused for dramatic effect, because his elaboration was not forthcoming in the ensuing cacophony of questions.

"That's what those symbols were for!" Tim said, sounding as though all of life's mysteries had just been answered.

"Wait, an alternate universe?" Dick asked. "What was it like? Do we all exist there?"

"I had considered that tactic myself before deciding upon a more preferred option," Damian said.

"You're not gonna elaborate on that?" Jason said sardonically.

Duke shrugged. "Eh, I've got a question or two. Dick, why'd you name it the batmobile, and why did Bruce let you?"

"Because I was nine," Dick said with only the barest hint of sheepishness, "And I think I just wore Bruce down until he called it that, too. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"All our ages were reversed in that world, and since you were the youngest nobody else called it the batmobile, so they all laughed at me whenever I said it."

"If Richard was the youngest, I suppose I was the eldest? I was... a good older brother, I am sure." Damian didn't sound sure at all. In fact, he sounded as though he were trying not to shudder at what he may have done with the responsibility and authority. Or maybe it was just Barbara projecting her own concerns.

"I didn't get to meet your alternate," Duke said apologetically. "But other me and Jason and Dick seemed to like you."

Damian wore an uncharacteristically soft smile, barely concealed by the sudden return of his perpetual scowl. "Of course. I would never shirk at my duties."

Dick's hands twitched toward his youngest brother. "Dami," he said softly but didn't continue.

"Tt, cease that sentimental nickname, Richard."

Tim said, "I know you used, like, magic to get there, but I'd be interested to see that world. Do you want to work together on transdimensional technology after I win this contest?"

Duke barked out a short laugh. "Ha! No, but that would be awesome after I win! I want to go back, too."

"You used magic?" Barbara asked in surprise.

"In my defense, I was helping a magic user get home after accidentally transporting herself and her brother here. It's not like I was randomly trying to work with magic."

"And you didn't make a case report about it or ask for help from me or Bruce?" Barbara accused.

"Of course not," Duke said. "It was a stealth competition."

Barbara rubbed her temple. "Fill out a case report tonight and I'll make sure B doesn't see it. Damian, your turn."

"I traveled ten years into the future to steal from the future Batman," Damian said haughtily. "I merely utilized the exceptional speed possessed by Jonathan Kent, and therefore have the most updated model possible."

"Newer doesn't always mean better," said Dick, as if he didn't have a reason for hyping up an antiquated version.

"It does when the alternative is that," scoffed Jason with a gesture at said antiquated version.

"Hey!" Dick protested.

"With time travel at your disposal, it's funny you were last place," said Tim, smirking in what appeared to be repressed laughter.

"My assistant's precision was out of my control," sniffed Damian. "I would have exceeded both you and Thomas otherwise."

"Still came last," Tim reiterated.

Barbara sighed. "Okay. Now that I've heard all your stories, what are the metrics for winning? Are we only basing it on stealth? Style? Stealing prowess?"

Many arguments ensued and Barbara didn't care to parse out any specific one. She sighed again. "Fine. I'll decide. Since the terms of the contest were to steal the batmobile, I think I have to give this one to Jason--"

"In your faces!!!"

"But," Barbara's lip quirked upward at Jason's falling expression. "Honorable mention to Tim for stealing it twice. And to Duke for stealing directly from a version of B without his knowledge."

"What's the purpose of stealing a batmobile if it isn't even the best?" spat Damian. "In a race, none of you would stand a chance!"

"I totally stole the batmobile from B!" Dick said. "I stole it first!"

"I stole it first," Tim said smugly.

"I'm least likely to ever get caught," Duke pointed out.

They all reluctantly agreed, except Damian, who said, "We are equally unlikely."

Jason shook his head. "Nope! You're gonna get caught ten years from now."

Damian grumbled something inaudible.

Dick grinned in a way that meant he was about to share a really dumb idea. He probably wore the same grin before they'd begun this competition. "I'm liking the sound of Dami's idea to race, though. You all laugh at my batmobile, but I bet I'd win!"

Jason laughed. "In that clown car? You're on!"

"I'm in," said Tim eagerly.

"Then we're all in agreement," Duke said.

The five of them moved to enter their personal batmobiles, but Barbara cried, "Wait!" She felt a sense of pride when they immediately stopped. "What good is a race when you can't hear each other's trash talk?" She gave them all extra comms she kept in a concealed compartment on her wheelchair.

They determined the starting line, and then began to dispute the appropriate route.

"I think we should go down to Kurtzburg Drive, turn around, and end back at the starting point" Dick said.

His suggestion brought forth immediate outcry. "You just want to show off your batmobile's stupid U-turn trick," scoffed Jason. "I think we should circle a four block radius three times."

"If you can't stand against my quick turn method, you can't say your batmobile is better than mine."

"I think there should be a ramp set up somewhere," suggested Tim. "I think that would be cool."

Damian chimed in with, "The optimal route is to drive the winding path to Broad Avenue, head north for one mile, and then return to starting position."

"Broad Avenue has, like, no obstacles," Jason said. "Why would you choose such a lame route?" When Damian's cheeks flushed the barest amount, Jason laughed. "Wait, Demon Brat, have you never driven before?"

"Tt, of course I have! I arrived here without incident, didn't I?"

"B doesn't even let me drive the batmobile," said Duke. "And you're twelve. How did you even learn to drive?"

"I have many skills," Damian said dismissively.

Barbara waited patiently for the argument to end, pulling out her phone to track a suspect she'd been following for two weeks now. The debate went on for long enough that she'd gotten quite sucked into her work before Dick finally called her to attention again.

"Hey, Babs, how's your sports-announcing?"

Barbara rolled her eyes. "Slightly better than your bacon."

"I burn breakfast one time!" Dick protested, but his tone was full of mirth and the brightness of his grin never dimmed.

"But without the announcing, how will I know what the losers behind me are doing?" Tim lamented, drawing a glare from both Damian and Duke.

"Because there will be none for you to check on," retorted Jason smoothly.

Barbara sighed. "I'll do my best."

The five of them cheered and returned to their respective batmobiles. Barbara watched them all rev their engines at the starting line. Tim, helpfully, sent her a map of their planned race route, which she overlayed atop the trackers built into their borrowed comms. It seemed they had gone with a compromise of sorts. They planned to drive straight for five miles before turning around and then taking a detour to circle another two mile radius and return to the starting line.

"On your marks!" she exclaimed through the mic. "Get set! And... Go!!!"

Five batmobiles sped past her, blowing her hair into her face. She began narrating their movements aloud, using code names, despite the fact that Duke, Dick, and Tim were in civilian attire (well, Dick had his domino mask on).

"Robin is quick to claim the lead, followed very closely by Red Robin. Hood is gaining fast."

Her screen showed the trackers for Dick and Duke alternating consistently between fourth and fifth place. She took a moment to hack into cameras installed into some of the batmobiles to gain a better view.

"Nightwing overtakes Signal, leaving our favorite daytime hero in the dust. Robin veers off course, losing his lead to Red Hood. Robin seems to be slowing down. What's wrong, R?"

"Tt, I am fine." The tension in his voice belied that he was anything but fine. Barbara kept an eye on him and continued announcing.

"Red Robin overtakes Robin and... Red, did you just do a flip?"

Tim's laughter echoed in her ear. "That was awesome!" he said, which was enough of an answer to her question.

"Showoff," Duke muttered.

"Nightwing is gaining on Robin, who still seems to be slowing down. Nightwing passes Robin, bringing him up to third place. Meanwhile, Signal is following close behind."

Genuinely worried about Robin, Barbara opened a private commline. "Hey, no one else can hear us. What's going on, Robin?"

"Nothing. These curves are merely unfamiliar to me," Damian replied tersely. Barbara smiled in relief; whether he meant the road or the steering wheel, at least he was keeping himself safe.

Returning to the main line, she continued announcing. "Signal passes Robin, and Red Robin pushes Red Hood off the road to pass him. Red Robin is now in the lead."

Barbara muted the ensuing string of expletives from Red Hood and kept going. "Nightwing passes Red Hood, and Signal is close behind."

"Almost to the turnaround!" Dick exclaimed. "Watch this!"

Barbara watched camera footage as Dick and Tim reached the turnaround point they'd arbitrarily decided on. Parachutes erupted behind Dick's batmobile and the vehicle slowed down as much as it spun in place.

"Nightwing takes the lead from Red Robin at the turnaround. Meanwhile, Robin is closing the distance and Signal has just passed Red Hood."

"Ha! In your face, Hood!" Duke shouted.

Barbara unmuted Red Hood's comm, only to mute him once again. "Language," she scolded in her best imitation of Alfred. The others laughed and she unmuted Jason once more.

"--ck you, Barbie," he was in the middle of saying.

"Call me Barbie again and I'll mute you for good."

"Mute me, and we'll see how bulletproof your wheelchair is," he grumbled.

"I dare you. I built it myself," she said, enjoying the banter.

Duke took up commentating in her distraction. "Signal is almost to the turnaround, gaining hard on Red Robin and Nightwing. I think this could be the winner, guys!"

Tim groaned. "Ugh, no. Red Robin is neck and neck with Nightwing. Nightwing is too busy checking out his rear to notice I'm right in front of him!"

"You are not!" shouted Dick.

"I am now!" Tim cackled.

Damian said, "Everyone's commentating is abysmal." He then lowered his voice an octave to say, "Robin and Red Hood are nearing the turnaround, and this is it, folks: the moment you've been waiting for! Robin overtakes Hood and is creeping fast on Signal! Now watch closely, it looks like Robin is about to deploy his signature move."

Damian tossed a throwing knife out the window toward Jason with deadly precision.

Barbara took over the announcing again. "Hood barely manages to avoid Robin's knife, swerving out of the way in a maneuver that could cost him his victory."

"Baby Bat threw a knife?" Duke giggled.

"I'm not surprised," Tim sighed in resignation.

"Hood is speeding toward Robin, gaining fast. Robin tries to hold his lead, but Hood throws... Hood. Is that a grenade?"

Her question was answered a moment later as a nearby building exploded.

"Just a little one." His grin was audible.

Barbara sighed. "Robin manages to avoid the explosion, but Hood speeds ahead of him again. The two are still fighting over fourth place as they near the turnaround.

"Up ahead, Nightwing loses his lead to Red Robin with Signal gaining up on them both. Nightwing swerves to block Signal from getting ahead but Signal retaliates by turning invisible!"

"No fair!" Dick cried.

"Ha! Can your batmobile do this?" Duke taunted.

"Yours can't either!" Tim said.

"Yeah, but can you really call yourself a bat if you can't keep up against meta powers?" Duke said.

Barbara had been watching the comm tracker on her phone and said, "Signal overtakes Nightwing, bringing him to second place, and becomes visible again.

"Robin and Red Hood are at the turnaround. Robin takes it nice and slow, but ohhh! Red Hood slams Robin off the road!"

"You will pay for this, Hood!" Damian shouted, struggling to control his swerving batmobile.

"Not likely," Jason said, accelerating to keep his distance from Damian.

"Hood is closing the distance between him and Nightwing. Robin is back on track. And Signal has just taken the first place spot."

"No!" yelled Tim.

"Hood passes Nightwing and... Why do you have another grenade?"

Jason laughed as Dick rushed to avoid the projectile. "That one was a banana, actually."

Duke laughed. "Is this Mario Kart now?"

"Yes," said Tim. "And I just got a blue shell!"

Barbara tried to figure out what Tim was doing, but saw nothing until "Signal stops as a building crumbles into the street in front of him. How did you manage that, Red?"

Tim surpassed Duke and said, "I just remote started the self destruct sequence on that safehouse. Someone has been using it without my permission."

"It's not like you didn't know I was there!" Duke said.

Barbara said, "Red Robin is in the lead and Signal is trying to get his batmobile out from beneath a building. Robin seems to have gained confidence and has caught up to Nightwing. Nope, he passed Nightwing! Nightwing is now in last place and Robin is... Flying?"

"My car is from the future. Of course it flies," Damian said smugly.

"Only ten years in the future!" said Jason. "People have been waiting for flying cars for the past hundred years!"

"The technology exists," said Tim. "It's just not fuel efficient. But with B's resources, and a little bit of time, it's probably a special fuel mixture, or something." It sounded as though he knew exactly what it was, and decided at the last moment to not share with the class. Barbara made a mental note to pick his brain on those ideas later.

"Okay, but that's still not fair, Little D," pouted Dick.

"Robin reached Red Hood. Both of them pass Signal, but Robin takes the lead of both of them, bringing him to second place."

"Ha, you're still behind me, gremlin. You'll never be out of my shadow!" Tim said.

"You cast no shadow, and I will depose you from everything you think you own," Damian said darkly. "Victory is mine!"

"Robin passes Red Robin, bringing him to first pla-- nope. Signal glitched reality and teleported himself to first place, wait. Signal used shadow transversal to bring himself to first place, but his batmobile is still beneath Red Robin's fallen safehouse. Signal's batmobile is still last place."

"Darn it!" Duke said, his tracker teleporting back to the rubble.

"Nightwing is speeding past everyone, using the road as a suggestion. Mailboxes don't stand a chance against him," Barbara said, making a note of the addresses they'd need to recompense later.

"Red Hood and Red Robin are fighting over second place, while Robin's batmobile returns to ground level," Barbara narrated. "And it looks like Signal finally freed his batmobile! Good job, Signal.

"Red Hood passes Red Robin. Nightwing catches up and also passes Red Robin. Oh, bad luck, Red. Now you're fourth."

"Oh, shut up, Oracle," Tim grumbled.

"Red Robin sends a batarang at Nightwing's tire, but it does nothing. You sure you want to waste your batarangs like that?" Barbara said with amusement.

"That old tire shouldn't be reinforced!" Tim protested. "Ugh! You made me waste a batarang!"

"Not my fault," Dick said happily.

Barbara continued, "Red Robin passes Nightwing again and Signal catches up to them both. This is going to be a close match, everyone! Signal passes Nightwing, Red Hood passes Robin. Oh."

"Oh?" repeated Tim.

"Um. The point of this whole thing was to hide it from B, right?" Barbara confirmed.

"Yeah?" said Tim, confused.

At the same time, Nightwing said, "Oh."

A sixth batmobile, identical to Jason's, pulled in front of them, blocking them all from continuing to the finish line. Batman emerged from it.

The five of them stopped and tuned their comms to the regular patrol frequency.

"Hi, Batman," Dick said awkwardly.

"Explain." Not a single hint of emotion betrayed what Batman was thinking, but they could all guess.

Jason was the one to talk, nobody else wanting to spill the beans. "We got one over on you, old man. You need better security."

"Hn. Oracle, were you aware of this?"

"Not until today," Barbara answered. "They hid their tracks well."

"Robin isn't old enough to drive."

"I managed well enough," said Damian. "Age restrictions are arbitrary and pointless."

Another silence filled the stream before Batman said, "Your race destroyed two buildings, six mailboxes, and four fences."

"Unoccupied buildings," Jason corrected. "We aren't monsters."

"Except for Robin, jury's still out on that one," Tim muttered.

"And I've noted the addresses of the homes that need to be reimbursed," Barbara added.

"This behavior is unacceptable," Bruce said.

"We know," said Jason. "Don't care. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to tell Agent A."

Bruce's proclamation was met with loud protests from all of them. Nobody wanted to earn the ire of Alfred.

"But," added Bruce, "I am... Impressed. Your stealth and subtlety are well-honed. That being said, return all the batmobiles."

"Absolutely not!" Jason said.

"Nah, I'm keeping this," agreed Dick cheerfully.

"How am I supposed to get back to the dimension I got it from?" asked Duke innocently.

"Mine was a gift," said Damian so smoothly it almost didn't register as a lie. (Unless he really hadn't stolen it from the future but had been gifted it?)

"Mine was approved for me by the lead RD supervisors and co-CEO of Wayne Industries; it's legally mine," Tim said.

"You approved it yourself," Bruce growled.

"All legally, I assure you," Tim retorted smoothly.

"I expect all batmobiles to be returned to their proper places with no more mischief," Bruce said. "No excuses." He then drove away, presumably to continue the patrol that they'd all been skipping out on.

"So... who won?" asked Duke.

Jason let fly another expletive and said, "No one. We all lost because we got caught."

"Oh no," said Tim.

"Oh no," agreed Duke.

"...What was the penalty for this one?" asked Barbara.

Tim sighed glumly. "A week in a costume designed by Dick."

"Except Nightwing gets to wear one of my choice," added Jason.

"Brutal," laughed Barbara. "I look forward to seeing the results of your failures!"


Alfred had been delighted to create the costumes Dick and Jason had designed for their brothers, and two weeks later, Barbara notified Bruce she'd be using the computer in the Batcave for her Oracle work that night. She didn't want to miss this grand reveal!

The dressing rooms were filled with much groaning, and multiple "Dick, why"s, and one "Oh, Dickface, I'm actually gonna kill you this time."

Promising.

As the boys debuted their new outfits, Barbara couldn't help but laugh. Steph and Cass were giggling beside her.

She'd wondered what sort of outfit Jason could have concocted that even Dick would despise, and it seemed he'd delivered. Dick was clad in muted colors. A dark collared shirt with shoulder pads concealed by a blue and grey sweater vest bearing the Nightwing logo; thick combat boots; and a flowing cape, blue grey on the inside and maroon on the outside. Not to mention the elbow and knee pads, and the cowl that covered the hair Dick was so proud of.

"You've hidden my best assets!" Dick complained. "And how am I supposed to maneuver in all this stupid fabric?"

"Be glad I gave you good boots," Jason said.

"They're terrible! They're so... Stompy," Dick pouted. "Everyone will hear me coming a mile away."

"I manage," said Jason, showing off his own combat boots. "Besides, you gave me a discowing collar and booty shorts." His legs were indeed bare aside from the very short black shorts and his thigh holsters. His top was skin tight red and black, in a much brighter hue than normal, and a cape with a very high collar attached at the shoulders.

"You've got thighs worth showing off," Dick shrugged. "Trust me. People will love it! Besides, would you rather be in a skirt, like Tim?"

Tim looked up from his phone. "I'm just glad you gave me leggings underneath," he said, twirling the skirt a little. "The part I don't like is the neckline. What is this? Discowing 2.0?"

Tim's bandoliers traced the outline of the deep V-neck and the red and black of the short dress he wore over dark leggings and red go-go boots. His cape was a bright red.

"I tried to think about what each person would want to show off, and what they've showed interest in the past," Dick explained. "I figured you'd want leggings since the first thing you did to the Robin costume was add pants. And you seem to like the drama of the cape."

"And the V-neck?" Tim demanded.

"It's still supposed to be a penalty, and I wanted to see what you'd look like! I think you look awesome!"

"But it's so deep," complained Duke regarding his own neckline. He had decided to join them for the night patrol just this once, to avoid being alone in showing off his punishment of a costume. His suit was a yellow and grey armored leotard with a dark grey cape and bright yellow go-go boots. The neckline was a deep V interrupted by his logo. "Also, this is unfair. Tim and Jason only got bare legsordeep necklines. I got both."

"And you're rocking it!" Dick exclaimed. "Seriously, I think you should keep that costume!"

"Tt, you are an adversary to progress," sniffed Damian, wearing what was nearly the original version of the Robin uniform, but with a hood on the yellow cape, and the spiked gloves Damian had grown fond of.

Dick shrugged with a grin. "Couldn't alter what was already perfect. Besides, you look great in my old uniform! If anything, I got the worst design of all. At least you guys look good, but c'mon, Jay, knee pads? That's just insulting."

"Had to give you the protection you took from all of us," Jason said. "What are you gonna do if Duke gets stabbed in his bare legs, huh? What about Baby Bat?"

"I don't get injured," scoffed Damian derisively.

"You will when I stab you," said Tim. "Besides, it's about time you tried the OG uniform. We all had to have a go in it."

"Yours had leggings," argued Damian.

"After I added them," Tim countered.

"Can I add them?" asked Duke.

"Yeah, Dick, what's the deal with you and bare legs? Only Timmers gets leggings."

"Shorts are nice, okay?" said Dick. "And I couldn't let Timmy go out in a skirt without anything under it. I'm not a monster!"

They all conceded that that was a fair point, and Steph urged them to begin patrol after confirming that Barbara would save photos and videos for her of their costumes in action.

Batman entered the cave at that point and looked them all over. Even he couldn't suppress his laughter.

Jason showed off his middle finger and took off in the batmobile that they later realized was his Ship of Theseus version when Bruce pulled up his identical one.

Patrol began. Robin went with Batman.

Nightwing teamed up with Black Bat, saying he needed someone to watch his back due to the billowing cape that was sure to be in the way.

Red Robin patrolled with Spoiler, who kept teasing him about his costume and sneaking selfies throughout the night.

Signal, surprisingly, joined Red Hood in Crime Alley that night. Hood claimed he allowed it because the vibrancy of Signal's yellow would distract from the awkwardness of his own costume, but Barbara suspected it had more to do with his recent attempts to reconciliate with the family. And Signal probably just picked the only one without a patrol partner.

True to her word, Barbara saved hundreds of photos and videos, saving them in her copious blackmail files. She hadn't had this much fun as Oracle in a while. The amount of rogues who stopped what they were doing to ogle their new costumes was honestly stunning, and ensured that this was the most refreshingly lighthearted patrol they could have had.

She caught Signal and Red Hood in their respective batmobiles, threatening the gangs in Crime Alley that night, but said nothing about this to Batman. As far as Barbara knew, they'd all kept their batmobiles.

She saved dozens of fond looks Batman sent Robin throughout the night; he must have been feeling nostalgic, seeing Damian in what was essentially Dick's old costume. Despite his sour demeanor, Damian seemed to enjoy the affection Batman displayed as well.

Meanwhile, Spoiler and Red Robin were sparring in the middle of a crowd of onlookers who had bet that Red Robin couldn't fight her in heels. The two were having loads of fun, and Barbara spotted at least three known villains in the crowd who were watching the vigilantes instead of committing crimes, so she considered that a win.

Nightwing spent the whole night complaining, even commiserating with his opponents about the ridiculousness of his outfit. Surprisingly, most of the villains agreed with Nightwing that he had never worn a worse costume. And they didn't even seem sarcastic when saying so! Had people forgotten the existence of the discowing suit? Barbara decided it needed to make its rounds online again, just to keep it fresh in everyone's minds.

As the night drew near to its close, they all seemed more exhilarated than exhausted on their way back to the cave, and Barbara was relaxed by the renewed sense of camaraderie and family they shared among themselves.

Eventually only Signal was left out in the field, having announced he needed to refill the tank on his batmobile, but everyone else had returned and were gratefully partaking in Alfred's cookies. They were joyfully recounting the highlights of the night to one another.

Suddenly, the comms clicked to life and Barbara's heart raced in anticipation. Signal was still out there. Alone. Had he run into trouble?

But the words he spoke only renewed the joyful vigour found in tonight's after-patrol socializing.

"Apparently my interdimensional batmobile doesn't take gas. Help?"


AN: Keep your eye out for an upcoming story about the batgirls causing chaos, because we can't let the boys have all the fun.

Also if anyone is interested in seeing images of the terrible costumes they are forced to wear at the end, I have them posted on this same fic on AO3. My username there is LadyLore and the fic has the same name. As far as I know, this platform has no way to embed images? Let me know if I'm wrong about that and Ill be sure to add them here too!