APOV
When I saw Rosalie, I almost had a fit.
What the fuck was she doing climbing up into the Newtons' backyard?
I whipped up my phone, ran out of earshot, and called her.
"Rosalie? Why the heck did I just see you climbing into the Newtons' house?" I said, furious. If she got caught, we were screwed!
"Oh, Alice! You can't even imagine what I just saw on Charlie's car…" Rose sounded like she was having trouble breathing. She told me everything. "And then, do you know what it said? It said: Evidence of Mr. Newton's affair with- get this- Mrs. Cope! Can you believe it? I've gotta get there and check the house out"
Oh, my… This was hysterical!
"Oh, God, Rose…" I laughed "But, wait! You can't go there, you'll get caught"
Liar, liar, pants on fire. A little voice whispered. You know she would never get caught.
Shit. Hearing voices in your head is not a good sign. Unless you're Edward, that is. Then it's normal.
"Did you see me getting caught?" Rose doubted.
"Yeah. Sorry, girl. Just come home, OK?" I said.
Rose sighed.
"OK, I'll be there in a while" She said "I'm putting the- well, you know what. I'm putting them in a box. We'll put them back later"
"Ew, Rose. Are you touching them?" I said in disbelief. My sister was the cleanest person ever!
"No, silly. I'm wearing gloves! Gotta go. Bye!"
I hung up and walked slowly back into the house.
"Alice?" Edward said "What was that about? And don't say it's nothing, 'cause you're not usually thinking about pink bunnies eating your husband"
Jasper stared at me in utter disbelief.
Emmet fell to the floor, dragging Bella down with him. They were both laughing and rolling around. Then, the humor of the situation seemed to kick Edward's ass, because he joined them after a second or two.
"What. The. Fuck." Jasper said slowly.
A wave of seriousness filled the room immediately.
Everyone stood up.
"Well, that was awkward. Now, start getting ready, everyone. Edward, here's your disguise" I said, throwing it at him. "Bella, get dressed. Now. Emmet, you're superman and your costume is upstairs. Now, move your butts out of here!" I said bossily.
Suddenly, only Jasper and I were in the room.
"Now, Jazz. Of course I don't want bunnies to eat you! I just didn't want Edward in my thoughts, OK? So let's get dressed" I said briskly, giving Jazz his Mickey Mouse ears and a peck on the cheek.
He nodded and we went upstairs.
***
EPOV
"Bella, love, it's OK. Really. Just come out of the bathroom" I said patiently.
"But my skirt-" She protested.
Alice barged in, put a key in the lock and opened the door. Then she came out carrying Bella in her arms.
"Here" She said, setting Bella down. "Now hurry up!"
She slammed the door and I turned to look at my blushing girlfriend.
Oh, God.
