Chapter 31
"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" asked Ewan.
He, along with his brother Harry, was at the Burrow, the home of the Weasley family. Fred and George Weasley were Ewan's best friends, while Ron Weasley was one of Harry's best friends. At the Burrow was also Hermione Granger, Harry other best friend, Mrs. And Mr. Weasley, Ginny Weasley, who had a crush on Harry, and lastly, Bill and Charlie Weasley. Percy Weasley had a big row with his father during Ewan's seventh year; he had then decided to move out.
"I don't know." answered Ginny, laughing.
"I remember, Ewan asked this question to me the first time I met him, on the train to Hogwarts." said Hermione.
"Then what is it, if you're so clever?" Ewan said smirking.
"It depends on three factors: (A) the woodchuck's desire to chuck said wood, (B) The woodchuck's need to chuck the aforementioned wood, and (C) The woodchuck's ability to chuck the wood."
"I knew you should have been in Ravenclaw."
"Hey, look its Teetle and Hedwig." said Fred, pointing out the window in the kitchen.
Teetle flew down in front of Ewan dropping two letters in front of him, while Hedwig dropped down in front of Harry.
"It's our O.W.L. results and Ewan N.E.W.T.s" said Harry.
"About time!" said Ewan, snatching his letter from Harry. Hermione took hers and Ron picked up his.
"I got 10 O.W.L.s! Oh but I got and 'E' in Defence."
"Blimey, 'Mione, an 'E's not bad!" said Ron
"I know but, I was hoping for all O's." said a disappointed Hermione. "Ewan, did you ever get an 'E'?"
"Er- yeah... on homework." said Ewan.
"What about you're O.W.L.s?"
"No, sorry, all O's…" said Ewan. "You know, you're a brilliant witch Hermione. Best in your year!"
Hermione smiled. "Thanks. What about you're Ron?"
Ron opened his envelope. "Oh my god! Wow!"
"What!?" asked Mrs. Weasley.
"Eight! I got eight O.W.L.s!" said Ron.
"That's better than Fred and George!" said Mrs. Weasley.
"Thanks, mum." said the Twins, sarcastically.
"I failed History of Magic, though." said Ron." But its fine I wasn't planning to take it this year anyway."
"Eight owls! Oh Ronny." said Mrs. Weasley, hugging Ron.
"Well, Harry, what did you get?" asked Ewan.
"You first!" said Harry.
"No O.W.L.s first, besides I'm older, now what did you get?" said Ewan.
"I got the same as Ron." Harry said disappointed.
"What's wrong?" asked Ewan.
"I got an 'E' in potions." said Harry.
"Okay, so why is that bad?"
"I need an 'O' to take N.E.W.T. potions." said Harry.
"Okay, I still don't get it."
"I want to be an Auror. You can't be an Auror, if you don't take N.E.W.T. potions." said Harry.
"That's alright Harry, it'll work out, you'll see. What is that in your envelope?"
It was a badge. "I've been made Gryffindor Quidditch Captain!"
"All right, Harry!" said Ewan.
"Congratulations, Harry." said Mrs. Weasley and Hermione.
"Hey, mate, does that mean your let me stay on the team?" asked Ron.
"What are your grades Ewan?" asked Hermione.
"Potions, O, Transfiguration, O, Charms, O, Herbology, O, Defence Against the Dark Arts, O, Ancient Runes, O, Potions, O, Astronomy, O, Arithmancy, O, and History of Magic, O. All O's." said Ewan, nonchalantly. "I'm hungry."
"Wait, you just got all O's on your N.E.W.T.s and that's all you say, you're hungry." asked Hermione.
"I' am hungry." said Ewan.
"Merlin's beard, Ewan! All O's, good job." said Mr. Weasley. "You're parents would been proud… all four of them."
"Thanks, Mr. Weasley." said Ewan.
"I guess this means we have to go shopping for your sixth year things…" started Mrs. Weasley.
"Wait, Ewan, what were those other letters from Teetle?" asked Harry.
"Oh it's from the Headmaster." said Ewan, tossing Harry his letter.
"He's wants me to take private lessons with him." said Harry.
"Not just you, me too." said Ewan.
"For what?" asked Ron.
"It doesn't say." said Ewan. "But my letter also says to take the Hogwarts Express with you three on the First."
"You have to go back to Hogwarts?" asked Hermione.
"Apparently, the Headmaster has a few special jobs for me." said Ewan. "My first job is to escort you three, and Ginny, to Hogwarts."
"You mean you have to babysit us?" asked Harry.
"If you want to use those terms, then yes, I'm babysitting you." smirked Ewan.
* * *
A few days later, the Weasley's, Harry and Hermione go to Diagon Alley, along with Hagrid and Ewan, to get school supplies. After getting their books and necessities, the group head off to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Fred and George's new joke shop, but before they enter they notice Ollivanders, they place where Harry and Ewan got their wands, along with most if not all wizards and witches of England. The shop was abandoned and in ruins.
"Oh no - not Ollivanders, everybody got their first wands from here." said Hermione.
"What's that?" asked Ron, pointing to sign outside Fred and George's shop.
WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO?
YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT U-NO-POO
THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!
"This is amazing!" said Ewan, holding the door open for everyone.
Ron, Hermione, and Harry went all over the store, while Ewan went to talk to Fred and George. At one point Ron came up to them.
"How much is this?" he asked.
Fred and George answered. "Five galleons."
"How much is it for me?"
"Five galleons." The twins answered.
"But I'm your brother!"
Fred and George smirked. "Ten galleons, then."
Ewan laughed. "How much is it for me?"
"Free." answered the twins before walking off to help more customers.
Twenty minutes later, Ewan went to find Harry and the others, but only successfully found Ginny.
"Hey Ginny, where's Harry, Ron, and Hermione?" he asked her.
"They were here…" answered Ginny.
"Thanks." He said walking around the entire store. Finally ten minutes later he found them. "Where were you guys!?"
"We-er- were here!" said Harry, looking very guilty.
"Right, and I'm hippogriff." said Ewan.
"You're a hippogriff!" said Ron. "I didn't know that!"
"Ronald, he was being sarcastic." said Hermione.
"Don't run off any more." said Ewan. "It's too dangerous."
* * *
Everyone was on the train to Hogwarts, Ewan, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Neville and Luna were all in one compartment. It was two hours into the ride when Ewan had to use the loo.
"I'll be right back, don't go wondering off." He said leaving the others in the compartment. When he got back, Harry, Neville, Ginny, and Hermione were all gone.
"Where are they?" asked Ewan to Ron.
"With Professor Slughorn." answered Ron.
"Oh well, they're with a Professor, they should be fine then." said Ewan.
As usual, Ewan was wrong. Harry and Ewan argued the whole way to Hogwarts.
"I can't believe you would do something so stupid. What is it some type of Gryffindor thing, doing stupid stuff." said Ewan
"Shut up, it was a Gryffindor thing, it was just Me." argued Harry.
"Oh so you do stupid stuff? Come on Harry I thought you were smarter than that."
"We can't all be as smart as the Great Ewan Potter now can we?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know bloody well what it means!" yelled Harry.
"You know what? I'm tired of arguing with you Harry. You're safety is my responsibility; by you wondering off by yourself is sharking that job. Stop wondering off!" ordered Ewan.
"You're not dad, nor are you Sirius, you can't boss me around!"
"I'm you older brother, so yes I can."
"boys." said Professor Flitwick guarding the gates to Hogwarts. "Do I have to separate you two?"
"No sir." said Ewan.
"Good. What happened to your nose Mr. Potter?" Flitwick asked Harry.
"Incident on the train, but I'm fine." Harry mumbled.
"Good, now you're names?"
"Sir?" asked Ewan.
"What are your names?" asked the small wizard.
"Sir, you know who we are." said Harry.
"I think it's for security… Ewan Potter." said Ewan
"Harry Potter." said Harry.
"Alright boys, welcome back to Hogwarts. Ewan, I hear you're going to be helping the Headmaster with some favours?"
"Yes, sir." answered Ewan.
"Well you know you're welcome any time to stay with the other Ravenclaw's, and myself."
"Yes, sir. Thank you." said Ewan
* * *
At the feast, Ewan got to sit with the staff, which was… weird. He was really uncomfortable sitting in between Professor Snape and Professor Slughorn.
He could tell from his seat, that Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Katie were laughing at his discomfort, much to his chagrin.
The feast itself was of course delicious, the entertainment, not so much. With Slughorn babbling on about famous witches and wizards he knew and Snape giving him disapproving looks on his eating habits, but of course that couldn't be changed as Ewan was starving.
"So I told, I told her Margaret your potion is outstanding, you know who she became, yes?" asked
"No, sir." said Ewan.
"She became head of the port key office. She sends me floo powder for free all the time."
"That's cool." said Ewan.
It was then that Dumbledore arose from his seat to give his usual post-feast speech.
"Good evening, to all!" he started. "To our new students, welcome to Hogwarts, and to our old students, welcome back, for another full year of magical education for you. Our caretaker, Argus Filch, as asked me to say that there is a blanket ban on all jokes items from the shop called 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes'. We are pleased to welcome a new member to our staff this year, Professor Horace Slughorn, a former colleague of mine, who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions Master."
Ewan's jaw dropped. 'If Slughorn is teaching Potions, then what is Professor Snape teaching?'
"Shut your trap before flies get in it." commented Professor Snape.
"Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be filling the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts." said the Headmaster.
Ewan's jaw dropped again. 'Man that sucks! I would have loved to have Professor Snape teach me defence!'
"Must I repeat what I just said, Tyler." said Snape.
"No, sir." said Ewan smirking.
Dumbledore continued. "Now, as everybody in this Hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once more at large and gaining in strength. I cannot emphasis strongly enough how dangerous the current situation is and how much care each of us at Hogwarts must take to remain safe. I implore you, should you notice anything strange or suspicious within or outside the castle to report it to a staff member immediately. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for you own and each other safety. But now, your beds a wait as warm and comfortable as you could possibly wish and I know that your top priority is to be well-rested for your lessons tomorrow. Let us therefore say goodnight."
All the students got up while Ewan went with the Headmaster.
"Now Ewan, I know you're wondering why you are here." He said.
"Not really sir. I just go with it now." said Ewan.
"Yes well, you are here to learn from myself and Professor Snape some new magic. Magic normal students do not learn."
"New magic?" asked Ewan.
"This war will make you choose, Ewan, between good and evil. When I was your age, I wanted power, just as Voldemort when he was your age wanted power. It is only human to wish for it, and I know you are very powerful naturally, but that will only get you so far.
"It would be unwise of you to go into a fight not knowing the Dark spells that you enemy will do. Therefore, Professor Snape will be teaching you them."
"Wait; let me get this straight, you want me to learn the Dark Arts? Will Harry be learning them as well?" asked Ewan.
"No only you." said the Headmaster.
"Why?" asked Ewan.
"Harry, will need good magic in order to beat the dark. I know, without a doubt, that by you learning ABOUT the Dark Arts, you will be able to use that knowledge against Voldemort."
"Basically, you want me to use Voldemort's own power against him?"
"Yes." answered the Headmaster.
"But it's still illegal to perform the Dark Arts. Won't I get in trouble?"
"You will not be performing the actual spells, merely learning about them. As well as, taking the private lessons with Harry and I."
"What will we be learning there?" asked Ewan.
"You two will learn about Tom Riddle, and his past. Now I must bid you good night. You are of course more than welcome to stay here for the night, unless you choose to go back home to Sirius."
"I think I'll go home. When is our first lesson?"
"You will start with Severus, tomorrow at 9pm. I will be this Saturday at 8pm." said the Headmaster in front of the stone gargoyle. "Acid Pops." He said the Gargoyle. "Don't forget it, Mr. Potter."
"Good night, sir." Said Ewan, waking back down the stairs to the Entrance Hall.
"Mr. Tyler, I hope you won't be late tomorrow, I would hate to example the spells I' am to teach you." said Snape, in the hall.
"I won't be late sir, no worries." Ewan said
* * *
"Okay, so I got to thinking-" started Sirius when Ewan came home.
"You think!?" joked Ewan. "That's amazing, way to go!"
"Thanks a lot." said Sirius sarcastically. "Anyway, you should surprise Harry with your Animagus form tomorrow!"
"Great idea! But you know I should really get registered first."
"Registered!? Do you think your dad or I ever registered!?" exclaimed Sirius.
"No, but wouldn't I get in trouble?"
"Nah, besides it safer if people DON'T know it's you."
"Good point, wow you actually had a good idea for once! Well, it was bound to happen eventually." laughed Ewan. "Oh, I got a funny joke I heard today by a student. Okay, instead of Voldemort, everyone should call him Wadofsnot."
"Wadofsnot? Like wad of snot?" asked Sirius, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.
"Yup!" smiled Ewan.
"I like it!" said Sirius. "Wadofsnot... sounds good."
"Doesn't it!?" said Ewan. "Wadofsnot. Brilliant."
* * *
The next day, Ewan walked into the castle, feeling very good of himself. All last night, Sirius and Ewan stayed up late, making new names for Voldemort, including: Wadofsnot, Lord Mortevold, Moldymort, Vol-Vol, Wallawort, and Tiny Tom.
"Why are you so happy?" asked Harry, when Ewan came in for dinner in the Great Hall before his lesson with Snape.
"Moldymort." said Ewan.
"What?" asked Hermione.
"Nothing." laughed Ewan, taking a seat next to Harry.
"So did you stay here last night or with Sirius?" asked Harry.
"With Sirius." said Ewan.
"That's makes me jealous." admitted Harry.
"It's okay, we didn't really do anything fun. Oh but I have to tell you, you remember how Sirius taught me how to become animagus these last couple years?"
"Yeah?" said Ron.
"Well, I can successfully change now." said Ewan, grabbing some Sheppard's pie.
"What are you?" asked Ginny.
"A wolf! Remus was very happy about that." said Ewan.
"You have to show us." said Hermione.
"I will, but not tonight, I'm busy."
"Yeah about that, what are you doing here? Dumbledore said our first lesson with him wasn't till Saturday." said Harry.
"I'm meeting someone." said Ewan.
