A/N Thank you for the reviews! I really do appreciate them. Fin shows some emotion in this one and I've started to make her more human. The cracks are going to start to show for Fin from here on in, is she getting war weary? There will be more of this in the coming chapters. I have also very briefly brought Eve back in this chapter and I will be bringing her back again as requested.

The song in this chapter is Fever, an acoustic version with the lyrics Devil Doll.

Fin woke the next morning with a shocking headache, she reached down the side of her cot and grabbed her canteen, eagerly emptying it's contents into her mouth. She sat up slowly, still in her black dress, at least the lads were still not brave enough to undress her. Looking around, she was the only one awake, considering she drank the most, she was at least more human than they were this morning. Fin slowly swung herself out of her cot.

"Where you going?" Tab groaned barely opening his eyes.

"I'm going to get dressed and then go collect my laundry from Mrs Lamb" Fin replied squinting.

"Can you get my laundry too then?" Tab asked.

"Yeah ok"

"And mine"

"Mine too!"

"Yes and mine"

A host of strained voices came.

"Ok! Talk about taking liberties!" Fin laughed. "Oh did I do anything embarrassing last night that I should know about before I go show my face in public?" Fin questioned rubbing her poor aching head.

"No, you just danced on the tables again" Luz mumbled as Fin walked towards the door past his cot. Luz's bare foot was sticking out the end of his blanket, Fin couldn't resist and tickled it as she left.

"Ahh! Fin if you're gonna tickle me, tickle my ba..."

Fin shut the door before Luz finished his sentence.

...

Fin walked through the village to Mrs Lamb's home. It was still pretty early with few soldiers walking around, just some locals who all greeted Fin happily. Her head was very fuzzy from the night before and she finding it very difficult to concentrate. one foot in front of the other, it's not hard!

Inside Mrs Lamb's home, Fin asked for her laundry as well as a few others, Tab's, Malarkey's, Bill'sand Lip's.

Mrs Lamb smiled, she had a lovely smile, she looked tired though, Fin observed "Are you going to be able to carry them all?" Mrs Lamb asked.

"Yes, I'll be fine" Fin replied handing the payment over, as she turns to leave.

"Oh Corporal Finney, could you help with a few others?" Mrs Lamb stops Fin

"Of course" Fin said turning back around.

"I have Lieutenant Meehan's, I hope he didn't forget it!" she chuckles.

The colour drains from Fin's face, Mrs lamb doesn't know that Lieutenant Meehan is dead. Fin starts to shake slightly, trying not to let it show as she accepts the Lieutenant's laundry.

"Few others Corporal" Mrs Lamb continues and starts piling more packages on the counter top. "Sergeant Evans, Private Moya, Private Bloser, Private Gray, PFC Miller, Sergeant Owen, T-5 Collins and Private Elliot" Mrs Lamb finishes stepping round the counter and piling the packages high on Fin's arm. "Are you sure you can handle them?"

"Yes" Fin croaks trying to hold back the tears. Mrs Lamb holds the door open for Fin as she leaves. The pile of laundry was just high enough for Fin to dip her head down to hide the uncontrollable tears that had started to pour from her eyes. Get a grip, you don't cry

Fin was relieved no one could see her crying as she tried to muffle her sobs. She didn't get far from Mrs Lamb's home before she tripped, not seeing a hollow in the road causing her to lose some of the laundry packages over the waist height stone wall to her right. Fin dropped the few left in her arms over the wall too and climbed over. As she gathered them up, she collapsed sitting back against the wall with her knees under her chin on the damp grass, crying into her hands.

Had she really been blocking all this the loss of life out? Mrs Lamb had obliviously handed the laundry over, she hadn't even thought for a second that they were all dead. It wasn't Mrs Lamb's fault. Fin felt incredible guilt of her own, she had been out celebrating her birthday last night! She was so selfish!

She didn't even know the exact number of men they had lost. Fin made a promise to herself that she would know from now on, it was her duty to care. The tears were still flowing and she couldn't stop them when was the last time she cried? She hadn't even cried after losing her father, mother and brothers, had she ever grieved properly for them? Not even at their funerals! Why was she so cold? She didn't believe that this was her life now, that's probably why, she had not believed the life she was living was hers, it had to be someone else's.

She hadn't even been scared when the bombs fell. She just assumed her father would get them to the shelter like he always did. But he didn't the sirens were wailing and he didn't even come to her room, , he didn't even come for her. The bomb hit and the house shook violently, the ceiling of her room caved in, the falling bricks and tiles missing Fin by inches. She had run to her bedroom door shouting for her older brother Andrew who was in the next room, but she opened her door into nothing, just smoke and fire, she looked down and there was her house, a pile of burning rubble. It was dark, only lit up in areas by the burning. Fin didn't know how long she had stood in her white night gown teetering over the edge of her bedroom doorway, before a voice had shouted " Stay still love! We're coming to get you!"

"Fin?"

Not thinking to hide her face Fin looked up to see Lieutenant Speirs leaning over the wall looking at her sat on the grass with the laundry packages scattered around her. She was startled that it was him; he never called her Fin. Panicking at getting caught she wiped her eyes in the vain hope he hadn't seen the tears.

"Are you ok? What's the matter?" he asked concerned seeing the tears running down her face.

"I just realised I'm not a teenager any more Sir" Fin blubbered.

"I think it's a bit more than that" Speirs stated gently, smiling to himself she always had a smart mouth as he climbed over the wall seating himself next to Fin, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. Fin liked his touch, for someone with such a hard exterior; he made her feel warm and protected.

Speirs had been heading back over to Edie's home to check she was ok, she hadn't taken their break up well at all and he was slightly worried for her well being. He was distracted when he heard someone crying softly from the other side of the wall he was passing. His heart broke when he saw it was Fin. He really didn't think he'd ever see her cry, she was always so calm and put together.

"Fin?" Speirs urged.

"There are fourteen packages of laundry here Sir and nine of them belong to dead men!" Fin sobbed some more. "Nine! That's more than half and I don't even know the true number of men Easy has lost and there I was last night having a right old jolly!" she looked up in Speirs' eyes "these men are never going home Sir" she whispered lowering her head back down on his chest.

"Sixty Five" Speirs said quietly. Fin looked up at him as he gazed out into the field "Easy lost Sixty five men"

"Why don't I know that Sir?" Fin felt the guilt wash over her.

"War is hell Fin, but life goes on, it's harsh, but that's the way it is." Speirs said pulling Fin in closer. "Are you going to be ok?"

"Yes Sir, I'll pull myself together, I always do"

"Why did you collect their laundry?"

"I couldn't leave them when Mrs Lamb asked if they had been forgotten Sir" Fin explained breaking out off Speirs embrace. She wiped her tears and started to collect the packages.

"You can't carry all of these" Speirs said helping Fin to gather the laundry.

"Thank you Sir" she said sweetly.

Speirs hated that she was still saying 'Sir'. She was in such an emotional state but she still kept the formalities, he wished she would relax around him. She relaxed around Nixon, calling him 'Nix' that playful, friendliness they had between them, it annoyed him.

Fin watched Speirs help her collect the packages, he looked up and gave her that full smile she had only experienced once before from him on D-Day.

Speirs assisted Fin back over the wall, following her with half the packages. They looked at each other and smiled as they made their way back to the barracks together. Speirs was happy that it was his shoulder she had cried on.

...

"What do you think that was all about?" Nix asked turning to the pretty brunette hanging off his arm.

"I'd like to say she's just had her wicked way with him behind that wall just now, but judging from her tear stained face, that didn't happen" Eve answered.

"Unless he's just really bad in the sack!" Nix joked.

"Judging by red's face over there..." Eve observed, drawing Nix's eyes to Edie who was stood in shock and grief at seeing Speirs climb over a wall with the blonde "I'd say he's not!"

"Do you think we have a problem?"

"Not sure Lew, but right now I'm more worried about Fin crying, she never cries. They said she never even cried when she buried her family"

"Maybe she's just getting soft in her old age?" Nix replied.

"Well she's not doing too badly so far, considering the life expectancy they put on her job"

"What is the life expectancy?"

When she was an SOE agent, 6 weeks, after that it was 8 months" Eve replied as Nix raised his eyebrows "Told you she wasn't doing too badly" Eve finished.

...

After thanking Lieutenant Speirs once again and saying good-bye, Fin made her way over to the cabin after hearing that's where the Easy lads had gone. Malarkey saw Fin as she walked over looking a little sad.

"Everything OK Fin?" he asked as he caught up with her.

"Yes" Fin smiled

"If Sparky's been giving you a hard time, ya know we can't kick his ass, we're all shit scared of him!" Malarkey joked making Fin laugh out loud.

They entered the cabin just in time to hear Gordon recite 'Night of the Bayonet' much to the embarrassment of Tab and Smith, but they seemed ok with it.

"The night was filled with dark and cold, When Sergeant Talbert the story's told, Pulled out his poncho and headed out, To check the lines dressed like a Kraut, Upon a trooper our hero came..."

A few giggles and muffled laughter could be heard from the men and Fin. Fin still standing in the doorway, looked over at Tab who looked a tad uncomfortable.

..."Fast asleep; he called his name. Smith, oh Smith, get up, it's time, To take your turn out on the line! Private Smith, so very weary, Cracked an eye, all red and bleary, Grabbed his rifle and did not tarry, Hearing Floyd, but seeing Gerry..."

A few 'boos' escaped the mens mouths.

..."It's me! Cried Tab. Don't do it! And yet, Smith charged tout de suite with bayonet. He lunged, he thrust, both high and low, and skeweth the boy from Kokomo, and as they carried him away, Our punctured hero was heard to say, When in this War you venture out, best never do it dressed as a Kraut!"

The room erupted in laughter and cheering! Fin and Malarkey whooped and cheered from the door. As a nice touch after Gordon finished his poem, he handed over one of his Purple hearts to Tab. Tab didn't qualify for one, he wasn't wounded by the enemy.

Fin winks at Tab who ushers her over to sit with him and Bill.

"Hey Fin, this is Heffron, a replacement; he's from Philadelphia too!" Bill announces to her "This is my fiancé," Bill introduces Fin to Heffron.

"Nice you meet you, call me Fin"

Looking confused, Heffron shakes Fin's hand and turns back to Bill.

"I know! She's a right doozy!" Bill jokes keeping up the pretence.

Tab laughs and pulls Fin in for a cuddle, and kisses her on her head "You recovered?"

"Headache is just fading now, what about you?"

"Rough as hell!"

"Listen up!" Lip shouted hushing everyone. "I have a few announcements. Tonight's training exercise is cancelled..."

Everyone cheered.

"...all passes are revoked..." before anyone could get in much of a groan, Lip continued "We're moving out, anyone not made a will, go to the supply office" Lip Finished.

The mood had gone from happy and fun to quiet and dejected. Bill started lecturing the new men, the replacements. Fin doesn't like how the new men were treated, everyone has to start somewhere, but she also understands why the lads, the veterans as they now were did it, they didn't want to get attached to the new men, they didn't want to lose another friend.

"Hey Fin, sing us a song!" Luz calls over.

Fin groans "Can't be bothered"

"Come on cheer us up!" Bill pleads turning his attention away from the replacements, much to their relief.

"There's no music, so I can't" Fin stalls.

"Erm... I saw a new guy from Dog with a guitar" the new replacement Miller says quietly, unsure of whether he should be saying anything at all. Fin glares at him making him feel like he should have kept his mouth shut.

"Well, go get him Private!" Bill orders

Miller gets up and walks out " Why has a replacement brought a guitar? What's he gonna do? Strum the Krauts to death?!" Luz jokes

Fin laughs hoping Miller doesn't find the private from Dog, but he returns a few minutes later dragging the Dog private through the door. Fin groans again she really can't be bothered.

"Come on Fin" Bill drags Fin out of her chair and seats her up front followed by the Dog private, before sitting back down "Something to cheer us up Fin!"

Fin looks at the private "What's your name?"

"Williams"

"What can you play?"

"Can you click your fingers?" Williams asks Fin as the door opens again and a load of Dog company men pile in, making Fin look up to watch them. Directing her gaze back to Williams, she nods. "Do you know Fever?" he continues

Fin looks at him and smirks " Yes, but I need a drink if I'm going to sing that one!" right on cue Nix walks in and Fin motions him over

"You're going to sing?" he asks

"Looks like it, you got your flask on you Sir?"

Nix smiles handing it over and Fin takes a long drink from it, before Nix gets worried that she's drinking it all and takes it back laughing. The door opens again and Winters and Speirs walk in to see why everyone is piling in, their question answered seeing Williams with his guitar sat upfront facing everyone with Fin sat next to him.

"Ok, let's get on with it" Fin says and Williams starts.

Dum, Dum, Dum, Dum, Dum, Dum, Dum

Fin clicks her fingers as she sits in close to Williams.

"Never knew how much i loved you
Never knew how much i cared
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bare
You give me fever

When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever
In the morning
Fever all through the night

Listen to me baby
Hear every word i say
No one can love you the way i do
Cause they don't know how to love you my way
You give me fever

When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever
In the morning
Fever all through the night

You know i love you baby
Take these arms away
Take this heart and never use it
Just believe what my hips have to say
You give me fever

When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever
In the morning
Fever all through the night

Sun lights up the daytime
The moon lights up the night
My eyes light up when you call my name
Cause i know you're gonna treat me right
You give me fever

When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever
In the morning
Fever all through the night"

Fin sang the song seductively, how it was meant to be sung and actually enjoyed herself. Her fingers were hurting from the clicking, but she kept up. Fin couldn't help but look at Speirs as she sang, he had been so nice to her today, she wondered if she'd see that side of him again, but probably not with them moving out again. He had a slight smile going on, so she hoped he was enjoying the song. She turned her gaze to Bill who was grinning from ear to ear, he was definitely enjoying it. Tab blew Fin a kiss and Shifty smiled with his arms folded across his chest. Luz mouthed the words back to her. Fin now turned her gaze to Williams, who turned to her as well and they held their look, until the song finished to a loud round of applause followed by hoots and hollers. "Hey Williams! You want to join Easy?!" Bill shouted.

Colonel Sink's runner came into the cabin and Fin saw him speaking to Winters, Nix and Speirs.. Speirs left first while Winters walked over to Fin.

"Fin, we're being briefed on the next mission, Sink has requested you attend"

"Yes sir" Fin rose to host of groans from the men who wanted another song. Fin held her hands up in surrender "Sorry lads, ordersl"

...

Walking on air, Speirs headed over to attend Colonel Sink's brief. Fin certainly knew how to make a lasting impression, Williams deserved a promotion for being able to play that guitar so Fin could sing. It had certainly cheered the men up. He wondered who she thought of when she sang it, was he clutching at straws that she may have thought about him? Distracted by Fin, he still hadn't been to check on Edie, he'd have to make sure he did soon.

Fin, Winters, Nix, Harry and Buck followed shortly behind to Sink's brief. Upon entering the room, Fin received some strange looks from the Officers, well she was the only NCO in there. Speirs turned his head to look at her as she stood the other side of Nix, who was next to him at the back of the room, he was just as curious to why she was being briefed with the Officers.

Sink nodded at Fin acknowledging her arrival. "This is Operation Market Garden..." Sink began, continuing through the details "...the operation is under British control..." attracting a host of groans to which Fin took offence to.

"Yes, thanks for finally showing up to the party, Yanks" she muttered under her breath, but not quietly enough as Nix and Speirs turned to look at her, Nix elbowed her and smiled while Speirs fixed her a glare.

"...brief your men tomorrow morning, dismissed" Sink finished.

The Officers filed out of the room. Speirs slowly left eye balling the Easy Officers and Fin who were summoned over to Sink where they all huddled over around a map, while Sink spoke in hushed tones. This was a familiar sight Speirs had observed in Upottery when Fin was present at Meehan's meetings. For an NCO and a medic, she was involved in a lot more than was necessary for her position.

"Ok Fin, I've been briefed by SOE that you can identify the head of the Dutch resistance, Markus Claes is that correct?" Sink asked

'Yes Sir"

"Easy are to link up with him and obtain any intelligence he may have." Sink instructed Winters. "If he doesn't find Easy first Dick, then send Fin out to find him" Sink turned to Fin "You're aware of the last known hiding place for the Dutch resistance aren't you?"

"Yes Sir"

"Good, then I'll leave this in Easy's capable hands" Colonel Sink said before leaving.

Fin groaned.

"What's the matter?" Nix asked

"It's a bit complicated Sir" Fin replied

"We're all ears!" Winters stated.

Fin groaned some more before starting "I was on a mission in Paris, I stabbed an SS Officer, which can I just add should have killed him out right, I never leave them alive" Fin said casually much to the amusement of Nix, Winters, Harry and Buck. "He got a description out, for me to be arrested, but I was long gone by then. Unfortunately they found another blonde, blue eyed girl of the same age and description and arrested her. The SS Officer finally died before officially identifying her, so the Nazis just assumed they had the right girl. Turns out she was Markus Claes younger sister Anneke Claes Sir."

"Whoops!" Nix commented guessing where the story was leading to.

"As soon as I found out I organised her rescue attending with two other agents, I couldn't carry out the rescue myself because I had been seriously wounded, but I still went back to oversee it personally. They'd only roughed her up a bit when we got to her Sir."

Winters raised his eyebrows.

"Markus got himself in such a flap about it, she was just a casualty of war, I got her back alive, she was fine about it Sir." Fin shrugged.

"Does he hold a grudge?" Winters asked.

"No, he sends her out for the resistance all the time and then gets all antsy when she gets caught up in a bit of trouble Sir."

"This serious wound you got, anything to do with the scar on your upper thigh?" Nix asked.

"Yes Sir"

"The story you told the men last night, was true?"

"Yes, but don't worry, they didn't believe me Sir"

"Still, if you need to talk, come to us" Nix added, with nods from Winters, Harry and Buck.

"Yes Sir"

"Now I'm guessing the story you told the men was the short version, why don't you tell me the long version as I walk you back to barracks " Nix said smiling as he put his arm around Fin's shoulder and walked her out.

...

The next morning, they were all be briefed by Winters on Operation Market Garden. Winters pointed to a map of Holland behind him, "memorise this map" he said " We will be dropping into occupied Holland, we are to take the road between Eindhoven and Arnem..." Winters turned to the map again to highlight the road."... to allow for two British armoured divisions to move up to Arnem. We are to liberate Eindhoven and wait for the tanks, is that clear?" He called receiving nods and "Yes Sir"

Fin looked around, she had heard the brief already. The men were different from the first jump. It was hard to work out whether some of them were relaxed or nervous, thankfully they were all concentrating on Winters.

Nix stepped forward " The whole European campaign is being put on hold to allow the resources for this, the operation is under British control..."

Again there were a host of moans and groans, Fin opened her mouth to comment again but found a hand had placed itself over her to prevent her from talking, she turned to see Buck smiling at her, he must have heard her last night as well.

"...if everything goes to plan, the tanks will be over the Rhine and into Germany and we'll all be home in time for Christmas!"

A few cheers rang out.

"We're not expecting much opposition, therefore it'll be a day time jump. We're told the German force is mainly kids and old men and we will be taking them by surprise. Say Good bye to England men, they won't be calling this one off" Nix finished.

"Dismissed" Winters called.

Buck turned to Fin "Any difference in jumping in daylight than at night, apart from the obvious Fin?"

"You get to see your killer before you die?" Fin said standing up and walking out. Shifty stood up and followed Fin after hearing her reply to Buck.

Running after Fin, Shifty shouted her "Fin! Wait!"

Fin kept going, ignoring Shifty.

Nix came out looking for Fin after speaking to Buck, he jogged over to Shifty. "Go back, I'll get Fin" he ordered. Reluctantly, Shifty obeyed.

Nix ran past Speirs who was stood watching Fin walking quickly away.

"Fin! Stop! that's an order!" Nix shouted.

Fin stopped immediately and turned to look at Nix "Sir?"

'What's the matter?" he asked finally reaching Fin.

Fin didn't answer immediately, realising she was over reacting, sighing "Sorry Sir, I'll apologise to Buck"

"What is wrong Fin?"

"Just all this talk, if Market Garden is successful, you all go home, it's making it a reality that the war could be ending soon and when it does, what happens to me?"

"You get to go home as well Fin"

"No I don't Sir"

"What do you mean Fin?"

"I can't say, but you're an intelligence Officer, so you should have clearance, request article 50 from my military record" Fin said.

"Ok," Nix replied full of curiosity. "Fin you do realise, that with you Brits in charge, we won't actually be making it home for Christmas, don't you?!" Nix said smirking, receiving a punch in the arm from Fin in response.

...

Speirs watched Nix and Fin talk, jealous that Nix was now her shoulder to cry on. He was beginning to worry about her, was she finally becoming war weary? She'd been involved in the war for a few years now and she was still so young. He didn't think women were enlisted that young, but he assumed that the best part of her involvement was training, after all he had trained for two years. Speirs headed out, time was of the essence and he had to go and check on Edie.

...

Edie stood in her kitchen looking out of the window, how could Ron have gone from being such a gentleman to end things with her? What had she done wrong? Apart from being loyal and loving? She even visited him in Upottery! She really thought they had something special and that they would end up getting married. He made it all seem so real. They had discussed America, where he lived, it would become her new home, his family, his thoughts about leaving the Army. They were so close. It had to be that blonde medic, she must have turned his head. She had noticed him staring at her a few times, but she thought he was looking because he disapproved of her behaviour. She may look like a respectable lady, but she was certainly far from one. Drinking like a man and dancing with different men on tables of all things! Ron just couldn't be attracted to that! But then this morning, he saw Ron climb over that wall with her. He was smiling like he had smiled when they were together. Maybe it was just physical, the blonde would sleep with him and Ron would realise that she was nothing but a whore and come back. Edie knew she wouldn't be happy about that, but she loved Ron with all her heart and she would forgive him. She would let Ron get it out of his system, most men need a loose woman before they settled down. The blonde can be his loose woman and she would be his wife.

Edie wiped away her tears and poured herself another cup of tea, sitting down at her kitchen table. She had no one to talk to really. She had moved to Aldbourne for her job and had failed to make any significant friends. There was Peggy, she seemed chatty, but only because she was a gossip. Edie didn't care too much for gossip, but she did need a friend, maybe her and Peggy could be friends? Edie's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at her door. She got up and walked over, composing herself and patting down the wrinkles in her dress, she opened the door and her heart became all of a flutter again. Ron, had he come back to her?

"I've come to see if you're ok?" Ron said stepping inside after Edie moved to allow him.

"Ok? Why would I be ok?" She snapped, not receiving the greeting she had wanted from him. "We made love and then you ended things with me! Why would I be ok? Tell me!" Edie said raising her voice.

" I'm sorry Edie, but I just don't feel the same way"

"What has changed?" Edie demanded

"You deserve better, I'm moving out again, it's not looking likely that the company will come back to England, you deserve someone who will be back."

"We can write, like we did before, you can come back when the war ends" Edie pleaded " I don't want anyone else Ron, I want you!"

"I'm sorry Edie, I shouldn't have come over"

"You care about me, that's why you came!"

"Of course I do, I'm not a total monster"

"It's that blonde medic, isn't it?"

Ron managed to keep his face expressionless at Edie's remark "Corporal Finney? Don't be ridiculous!"

"I've seen you looking at her!" Edie shouted

"I look at her the same way I look at the men, she's a soldier in my battalion!" Ron replied raising his voice a little too.

He most certainly did not look at the men in the same way! Calming herself and lowering her voice Edie replied "It's ok, if you want to sleep with her and then come back to me, it's fine, she's a whore, I bet she's slept with at least half of the men, but I'll forgive you! I love you Ron!"

Ron shook his head, trying to keep calm, how dare Edie speak about Fin like that! "Finishing our relationship has nothing to do with anyone else Edie, I'm sorry" Ron turned and walked to the door.

Edie burst into tears. Running to the door, she shouted " She'll pay for this!" before slamming the door and locking it. Ron had let slip her name, Edie had connections in the military thanks to her Uncle, Corporal Finney would pay. Ron would just not leave her like this, it had to be about that blonde!

Speirs turned round at Edie's final comment before she slammed the door what did she mean? It wouldn't matter anyway, they were moving out and Edie wouldn't be anywhere near Fin.