A/N: Original characters in this story (those not seen in the Artemis Fowl universe) belong to me, Renata Swift. Artemis Fowl, the universe, and all its characters belong to Eoin Colfer. Not to me. Sadly.
I am truly sorry to not have updated for so long. I will be honest and say that I had actually given this story up, as I had no motivation to write any further. However, after some experimentation, I decided to start once more. I'm sure you do not want to read a list of excuses from me, so without further ado, here is the latest chapter.
A very special thanks, however, to Wyandotte Bloduoedd, who has always, always had nothing but words of kindness and encouragement to say to my rude and obnoxious self. There is no better friend to have than one who reads my awkward and insane writing at odd times during the day and has real insight into the lives that I try to give my characters. I will never be able to express my immense gratitude to her, simply because there are no words to describe it. I'm sorry, Mrs C, but for now, thank you very much will have to suffice.
House of Cards
Chapter Eight - The Five Star Circus
Sharmista's hands were sweating profusely as Artemis had a few last words with Foaly over Holly's communicator. She was fully aware of the complications of the night's plan, but the reality of the situation had only just begun to sink in. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she moved away from the room and down the plush corridor towards the hotel elevators. Her head was spinning with questions she felt she should have asked earlier, and with miscellaneous scenarios unfolding in her head, each one ending in various degrees of disaster. The brooch on her chest seemed to burn through the exquisite dress and leave a scar on her skin underneath. Tears began to fill up her eyes, and she looked down at the red and gold carpet under her feet. Most of all, she was wondering about her parents. She felt a snake coil itself around her stomach.
At that very moment, she heard footsteps behind her, and a stiff voice asked her, "Are you ready?"
She looked up to see Artemis standing before her, and she noticed that both his eyes were now blue. "Contacts?" she asked, gesturing towards them. He nodded silently, and Sharmista looked away, not wanting to show him that she'd been crying. The two stood in front of the elevators for some time before Artemis spoke again.
"Who should I introduce you as? You made quite the point earlier."
Sharmista failed to stifle a giggle. "'Ditz Who Fell Down A Hole'. Yeah, I see the point. Um, I have no idea. Do you have any female acquaintances I could, you know," she said awkwardly, "...impersonate?"
"No, I don't."
"So I have no real cover? Wow, this night just keeps getting more and more awesome by the passing minute."
"She's a girl you met at a chess tournament," said a voice in Artemis' ear.
"Not a bad idea, Holly, seeing as we have nothing else to go on," Artemis muttered.
"It was Foaly who suggested it. He noticed that you'd been to New Delhi for one recently."
"Who are you talking to?" Sharmista asked him, puzzled. Artemis pointed to his ear, and her eyes widened in enlightenment. "Oh," she said in a small voice.
"Listen carefully to what I say," Artemis began.
"This can't be good. The movies say so."
The Irish genius ignored her. "You are Anita Kumar, and I met you at a chess tournament in New Delhi. We have been in contact for two months, and we decided to meet up here."
"So I'm your date for the night," Sharmista's eyes sparkled mischievously. "I am going to have so much fun footing drinks to your tab." Seeing Artemis open his mouth to reprimand her, she spoke before he could. "Whoa, just relieving the tension, Artemis. We have no real plan. We don't know the scale of this problem. We're walking blindfolded." She took a deep breath. "We're both nervous and you know it."
Artemis was appalled. Me, nervous? Hardly.
Just then, the elevator arrived, and Sharmista offered her arm to Artemis. "I know it's supposed to be the other way around, but since you aren't going to act gallant, I thought I might as well do it. We might as well infiltrate the drinking games looking the part."
"I would have done it," Artemis protested. "You greatly underestimate me!" Females.
"Right. Uh-huh. Whatever you say." Sharmista grinned as Artemis reluctantly held out his arm for her to loop hers around. "Thanks." With that, they stepped into the elevator, and it closed its doors with a short musical note.
Down in his lab and in her hotel room, both Foaly and Holly roared in laughter.
The ballroom blinded both Artemis and Sharmista's eyes the minute they stepped through its doors. There were large crystal sculptures scattered all around the edges of the room, and whatever little space there was in between the large circular tables was occupied by throngs of haughty looking and fashionably dressed people. Sharmista thought that she'd recognized a few movie stars and celebrities, but her hand was still linked with Artemis', and where he went, she had to follow. A few of the younger women turned to look at Artemis, but scowled when they noticed Sharmista. The girl grinned. She rarely ever received such attention, and now that she was getting some, she made a mental note to milk it for all it was worth.
"Hey," Sharmista nudged Artemis, who had put on a passable smile and was glancing around the room. "You know any of these schmucks?"
"I'm sure you do too," he replied, turning to her. "Most of these people grave the covers of your silly tabloids."
"My silly tabloids? What makes you think I even read them? Why do you categorize all girls in one category of hormonally imbalanced sluts?" Sharmista was about to give Artemis a more sizeable proverbial piece of her mind, when a middle-aged lady in a burgundy dress approached Artemis. She held her head up high as though a foul smell was drifting through the room, and did not bother to look at Artemis as she began to speak.
"Dear Master Fowl! I am delighted to see that you decided to attend today's function. It's so sad that your parents couldn't make it, but here you are, upholding the family name."
"It's a pleasure to see you, Countess," Artemis replied smoothly. He took her hand and put it to his lips. Sharmista was astonished to see the immediate transformation in him. He's a better actor than I thought. Oh, shoot, she's looking at me. Smile, dammit!
The Countess was indeed looking at Sharmista, but there was a steely glint in her eyes. "Introduce me, Artemis, to you lady friend, if you please."
"Indeed. Countess, this is Anita Kumar, a chess champion from New Delhi. Anita, this is the Countess Armand. She is a good friend of my family."
Sharmista nodded her head. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." The Countess didn't look too pleased, though, and continued talking to Artemis. "It's a shame my Stella could not make it tonight. She does adore your company, Master Fowl, and she also likes a good night on the town - that's what your generation calls it, ce n'est pas?" Sharmista smiled and dug her elbow deep into Artemis' side. He flinched visibly, but the Countess was too busy staring at the bar behind them. "Do send my regards to Angeline, Artemis. I quite miss her company."
Artemis nodded his head, and the Countess floated off towards the bar. Sharmista turned around sharply and looked at Artemis. "Stella?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like Minnie's got competition, eh?"
Artemis frowned as he held out a chair for her at one of the tables. "You're not making any sense, Anita."
Sharmista laughed unkindly. "Don't 'Anita' me. It looks like I've walked into this party with the most eligible bachelor in Europe! Half the girls here could kill me with their glares. It's mildly unnerving," Sharmista paused, "but definitely tonnes of fun. D'you mind if I flaunt you about a bit?"
"What do you think?" Artemis settled into his own chair next to Sharmista, and glared at her.
"I think that whatever your objections, I'm going to do it. I'm supposed to seduce Gatsuki according to Holly; I might as well build up a reputation as a serial flirter with some of the others. He might get the news from some of his drinking buddies and think that I'm easy. It'll be a piece of cake from then onwards."
Artemis rolled his eyes and scanned the crowd. "Don't bank on things turning out exactly according to plan," he warned. "Everything changes rapidly. Don't give away too much. If anyone has a dossier on the missing girl from Sharjah, it's Gatsuki."
Just then, Holly's voice echoed in his left ear. "I think that her's is a safe plan. You've got nothing to lose anyway, so go for it. Walden is backstage rehearsing his speech with Gatsuki, and Paradizo is there as well. Avoid her at all costs. Make this especially clear to Misty. She might get it into her head to have some fun and mess around with Minerva. Tell her to concentrate on Gatsuki. You go for Walden; he knows you and won't be much of a problem to talk to."
"Will do." Artemis turned towards Sharmista. "Avoid Minerva. She's here, backstage, with Walden and Gatsuki. Don't try to outsmart her or taunt her. Concentrate on the pixie. This is your plan of action."
"Jeez, alright," Sharmista scowled. "I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the evening. So you're going for Walden simultaneously, is it?"
"That's Holly's plan," Artemis affirmed. Sharmista turned away from him and began to scan the crowd. "Hey," she began. "There's a bunch of guys over there. Do you know any of them?"
Artemis craned his neck in the direction of Sharmista's outstretched finger. "Yes," he admitted after a minute. "That's Edmund Logan and his acquaintances. His father owns the only environmentally friendly paper mill in the United Kingdom." Looking at Sharmista, who waggled her eyebrows comically and grinned broadly at him, Artemis groaned. "Those are your first victims, I assume?"
"Succubus away!" Sharmista laughed and pumped a fist in the air. "Hey, could you do that thing where you become icy cold towards everyone and don't give a crap about them? So that I can turn on the...heat, you know." she blushed slightly.
Artemis was offended for the second time in an hour. "I am not cold," he insisted. "I just don't care about their problems."
Sharmista grabbed him by the arm and began to drag him towards the crowd in mind. "Lesson one in people skills, Master Fowl - pretend to listen, even if you really aren't doing so. Not caring about one's reputation is a load of bull, because everyone cares inside, no matter what they say. Also, a good image is good for business. Look at Walden - he's suave, intelligent and charming on the outside, even if he happens to be an asshole and a jerk on the inside."
Artemis could not help but think that maybe, just maybe, Sharmista had a valid point.
Edmund Logan must not have been very engrossed in what his comrades were saying, because the minute he noticed the Fowl boy with a gorgeous doll hanging on his arm, he grinned inwardly. She's a moneysucker, I can tell, he thought to himself. But I can change that in a matter of seconds.
He saw that she was looking at him as the Fowl boy was blabbering about something, so he shot her his most winning smile - the one he knew sent girls crashing to his knees. Strangely enough, this one did not start shivering, but instead she pursed her lips and shot him a rather flirtatious smile, then gave him a long once-over. Fowl grabbed her arm when he noticed she wasn't paying attention to him, but she broke away immediately, gesturing towards Edmund. Fowl frowned deeply, but she put her arm around his waist and shot him a winning smile as well, making big eyes at him. He reluctantly steered her towards Edmund's posse, the frown still prominent on his face.
Edmund cleared his throat rather loudly, and all his friends turned towards him. "Look who graces our presence tonight, boys! It's the one and only Artemis Fowl the Second! Why don't we make him feel welcome with a large round of applause?" All five of his friends laughed and clapped mockingly as Artemis and his girlfriend approached them. Artemis stood stiffly, but the angel swerved her hips and floated towards Edmund. Edmund noticed now that she was South Asian - Indian, probably, but she could be Pakistani, Sri Lankan or Bangladeshi as well.
"Was that for us?" she simpered. Of course, to Edmund, it sounded like honey to his ears rather than the sticky trap that it actually was. "You are so sweet! You really know how to lay the red carpet for a girl." She nodded towards Artemis. "Arty here was just telling me all about you, Edmund." She smiled at him sexily, then turned towards a grumpy looking Artemis. "Darling, aren't you going to formally introduce us?"
Artemis cleared his throat. "Edmund, this is Anita Kumar. She is from New Delhi. Anita, this is Edmund Logan, as I told you." Artemis put a lot of emphasis on the last few words, but no one was paying any attention to him anymore. Both 'Anita' and Edmund were staring at each other as though they had been hypnotized. An awkward silence filled the air between them before Edmund smiled devilishly. "Would the lady like a drink? My treat, of course."
'Anita' smiled back sweetly. "Some iced tea would do fine, please. I can't stand alcohol at all." She laughed lightly, fluttering her eyelids. Artemis felt like throwing up, but since Logan was buying Sharmista's pathetic act, he stood in his place, not moving, but dying to make a scathing remark nonetheless. Edmund sent one of his cronies to get the drinks, and by the time he returned, Edmund had his arm around Sharmista's waist, and they were on the dance floor.
"Thanks awfully for the dance, Anita," Edmund said as they wound up.
"Oh, I'm no dancer," Sharmista replied, twirling around. "I can't stand this slow dancing crap. It's so old and formal, not to mention stuffy."
Edmund's friends oohed as they approached the group once more. "You've got a mouth on you!" Edmund crowed gleefully. Sharmista grinned devilishly and laughed. She picked up her glass of iced tea and finished it in a single gulp.
"Thirsty, are we?" Edmund winked at her.
"Frightfully so. Arty, dear, I think I see someone I know over there," said Sharmista, who was getting tired of her game. She pointed at the far right corner of the room, where Gatsuki was stepping off the stage, looking tired and grumpy. Artemis nodded, and the duo linked arms once again. Sharmista fluttered her eyelids at Edmund again. "Bye, Eddie. Thanks for the drink."
"A bit forward, wasn't she, Ed?" One of Edmund's friends spoke up as soon as Artemis and Sharmista were out of earshot.
"Who cares? She was hot," Edmund smiled to himself. "Come on, let's go tell the others at the bar. We're never going to find another like her."
The next half an hour was the longest ever of Artemis' life. Being dragged around to flirt endlessly with the total male population of the party by a girl he hardly knew was not his idea of a civilized evening. Gatsuki had appeared from behind the stage only to disappear once more behind it, so Sharmista had moved on to another party of boys. If they ever came across married couples that Artemis knew, she would suck up to them in an effort to portray herself as an overly polite and very smart young girl. Most of these couples were delighted with Sharmista, and even invited her over to their homes for the winter break. Underneath that layer of hers that oozed confidence and exuberance, however, she wished she could scream loudly and break everything that lay in her path. She was still unsure of her real importance in the farcical, so-called 'plot' that Grouchy Boy Genius and Temperamental Elf Girl were coming up with as they went along.
As she let Artemis lead her towards their table (she was far too up in the clouds to walk on her own), the overhead lights began to dim, and a strobe light focused on a podium that had been arranged on the stage. All the noise in the room immediately subsided, and all heads turned towards the stage. She was cradling her head in her hands. "Wha...What's happening?" she asked drowsily. Artemis nodded towards Gerald Walden, who was striding confidently towards the podium, having appeared from behind the stage. Artemis noticed Gatsuki wringing his hands just below the stage. Both of them settled into their seats. Luckily for them, they were the only ones at their table.
"Hey, isn't that the Paradizo female you like?" Sharmista pointed at a blonde girl sitting at one of the tables right in front of the stage. Holly's voice filled his head. "Artemis, Minerva knows that you're here with someone else. She wants to meet you after Walden's speech. Stick to the plan, and avoid her." Artemis did not reply as Walden had begun his speech.
"My aunt often said that the mysteries of the future cannot be predicted without a crystal ball. I suppose this is because she was a fortune teller, and she wanted to make a quick buck, but I disagreed with her very time she would utter her stock phrase. Now, more than ever, I can predict our collective future just by looking out of my window.
"In the next few years, mankind is going to suffer mercilessly thanks to our own actions, and we are going to drag down a couple of thousand species of flora and fauna along with us for no fault of theirs. We have already witnessed the outbreak of many new strains of old diseases, along with some unwelcome new ones. We are no closer to solving our own human disputes, let alone the ones we have with our environment. We try to exploit every single plant or animal that we come across without ever thinking, 'This is wrong and unfair to both of us. This will create problems for everyone.' We are under the mentality that humans are more superior than any other species to have had the great misfortune of evolving on this planet, which has given us so much to work with. With this supremacist attitude, we began, and to this day, continue to exploit, destroy and ignore the fact that the strings that tie us to life on this planet are inextricably tangled with - and in most cases, connected to - other lifelines as well.
"It is very well to say that humans feel compassion, love and know solidarity. My question to the industries and general world population is - how much of the previously mentioned do we freely show? As we speak, lemurs are being hunted down in Madagascar for their meat, poachers are killing tigers in South East Asia for their fur, the forest land in Europe is being demolished for farmland, and salmon in Russia and Alaska are disappearing thanks to the illegal caviar trade. How much do we, as inhabitants of the planet, know about our fellow citizens? Hardly anything. And the greatest injustice to them is the very fact that they were not the ones to build axes to chop down trees, that they did not build weapons to shoot us, that they relied on their inbuilt senses to deal with the harsh reality of life around them.
"So I end my long-winded soliloquy and leave you tonight with this nagging question: doesn't it seem like we are the only species in denial, as we are the only ones to have manipulated our environments to suit our needs - and mostly fancies?" Walden gestured wildly with his arms. "With that, I wish to announce that starting next week, the seeds and minerals generously donated to WaldenGreen from all over the world will be moved into the first vault of the Resource Kiln!"
Both Artemis and Sharmista clapped politely along with the thundering applause that follwed Walden's speech, but different thoughts were going through their minds. While Sharmista was really thinking deeply about Walden's speech (while simultaneously telling herself that he was the bad guy, and that she would now have to corner a rather nasty pixie), Artemis was more or less concerned with escaping Minerva. If he went backstage with Sharmista, she might be there, but if he stayed out in the hall, she would definitely notice him sitting alone and corner him. The only way for him to escape her sight was to tag along with 'Anita', who was now chewing her bottom lip in nervousness and frustration.
Sharmista turned to Artemis. "Gatsuki's gone backstage. Minerva Paradizo has left for the buffet with the Countess Armand." Artemis duly noted that the Countess was most probably the source who leaked his whereabouts to the French girl. "I'm going in for the kill."
Artemis stood up. "I'm coming with you."
Sharmista grinned. "What, scared of the she-wolf? You know blondes always have more fun."
"That may be true in movies, but I'd rather keep an eye on you and make sure you don't compromise us both."
"You can keep your eyes on me wherever you like, vampire boy. Now let's get the hell out of here."
Constructive criticism and general reviews would be appreciated very much. Thanks for reading this far!
