A/N I'm very sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I'm not going to lie. I went out for a friend's birthday and have had the most shocking hangover, but I finally bit the bullet and had hair of the dog yesterday, so I'm back to it! This is a long chapter, hope it's ok Audreyk. I did wonder whether I should have just split it into two chapters?

Anyway, while I was editing it, I came up with a final twist and the end of the whole story for when we finally get to it!

Thank you to everyone so much for reading, favouriting and reviewing and thank you for sticking with me.

Hope you enjoy

...

London

Eve stretched in her uncomfortable wooden chair and pushed away from her desk in her dark office, very little light reached in from her tiny window, the tape across the glass didn't help. How she hated being a pen pusher, she longed to be Darcy, a field agent again. Grabbing her handbag, she got up and left her office "I'm going out for lunch" she said to her curly haired secretary Pauline, on her way past. Pauline nodded. Eve stepped out and headed for her favourite haunt, the King's Head for a liquid lunch. It would no doubt be full of servicemen and women, but Eve enjoyed the atmosphere and the chatter. Over hearing other people's conversations was as exciting as it got for her at the moment. It was a pleasant dry day for once in London, Eve noticed a lack of smoke from last night's bombings, that's good news she thought, it hopefully meant there wasn't much damage from the Luftwaffe.

Eve reached the pub and smiled at the two US Airmen standing outside smoking. "Hi there!' One said tipping his cap at Eve.

"Good afternoon boys!" Eve replied pushing through them and into the pub. Normally she'd hang around and chat them up, but something different had happened to her, she already had an American of her own, one she couldn't stop thinking about.

The pub was indeed busy. Just like she had predicted. Eve put her arm up towards the bar and caught sight of Michael the landlord who acknowledged Eve, he would bring her favourite tipple over to her. Eve spotted a rare vacant table with one seat the advantage of lunching alone and made a bee line for it, perching herself on the chair before scanning the room. Eve was a people watcher and an eavesdropper and she was excellent at both.

"Your usual Eve" Michael said placing Eve's gin and tonic in front of her. "Thank you darling"

Michael didn't stop to chat, the pub was far too busy today.

Eve took a sip and took in the room. Mainly Americans today, Tommys must have shipped out. As Eve scanned the room, her attention was caught by the back of a balding head. Eve stretched her neck to get a better look. If she wasn't mistaken that was Jonathan Taylor, senior officer at SOE. What is he doing here? Eve thought he'd be in France. Oh well Eve wouldn't let him know of her presence, he was a bit of a boring ponce. Eve watched as he turned profile on and she confirmed that it indeed was him. She couldn't see who he was talking to, but he was saying his good byes to whoever it was and left shortly after Eve had spotted him.

Eve took another sip of her gin and ran her fingers through her silky soft, dark hair. As she avoided eye contact with the American men, her mind wondered to Lew. Oh how she missed him. His handsome face, she bet it was covered in stubble right now, she could imagine how it would tickle her face when they would kiss, leaving a little red rash on her chin. She smiled. He was fun, forward, she liked a man who was sure of himself. Many British women were shocked at how forward the American men were compared to British men, but Eve liked it, what's the point in beating around the bush?

A loud giggle interrupted Eve's thoughts, immediately gaining her attention. Eve turned her sights to where the noise came from. She couldn't see, too many Americans in the way. The giggle sounded again. Eve craned her neck, she thought she saw a flash of red hair. One of the American men moved to the bar, and yes, she had seen red hair.

It was Edie! Eve was a little surprised to see Edie here, not exactly a suitable place for a respectable, married, pregnant lady. Eve looked her up and down, not even a slight bump! She had to be at least 4-5months? Maybe more? There would at least be a hint, Eve thought. She was drinking! There was no mistaking that Edie was holding a Whiskey in her hand. Eve watched as Mrs Speirs knocked back the drink and took another one off an American airman. Well, what an interesting lunch break this was turning into, Jonathan Taylor and Edie Speirs, two people Eve knew and didn't expect to see here of all places!

Time for a little fun! Eve thought, she grabbed her drink and rose out of her chair, walking over to the red head.

"Edie! Darling!" Eve announced her arrival to a very shocked, suddenly sick looking Edie.

"Erm..." Edie mumbled nervously

"How are you? How's the baby?" Eve asked loudly watching as the airmen slowly stood back. "Are you missing Ron?" Eve asked not letting Edie get a word in edge ways.

Eve turned "Do you know him?, Edie's husband? He's a US paratrooper, nicknamed Sparky?" Eve addressed the men. "He has a temper you see!" Eve laughed as the Airmen backed off some more.

"I miss him terribly" Edie replied composing herself.

"Yes... I can see, I think" Eve shot back.

"This is just to calm my nerves, the doctor said a couple wouldn't hurt the baby" Edie informed Eve holding her Whiskey up. "I've had a couple of scares with the baby" she added patting her non existent bump.

Eve eye balled Edie suspiciously.

"A crowded pub isn't really a safe place for a lady in your condition" Eve advised.

"I was meeting my Uncle, he suggested here" Edie replied honestly.

Her Uncle? Jonathan? No it couldn't be.

"Where is your Uncle?"

"He just left, I was just about to leave myself when you came over" Edie said bluntly "Oh did you hear? My darling Ron got a promotion to Captain, he is now the Commanding Officer of Easy company." Edie boasted.

"Oh my dear friend Fin is in Easy Company, oh how lovely!" Eve teased.

Edie's face dropped. "If you'll excuse me, I just remembered I need to let my Uncle know something!" Edie snapped as she aggressively shouldered Eve out the way and stormed out of the pub.

...

Foy, Nix's Quarters

"You see Lew? I think Jonathan Taylor is Edie's uncle and I have my suspicions that he is the one orchestrating Fin's missions out here. Do you know that not one official knew of Fin's orders to be captured!" Eve exclaimed undoing Lew's shirt buttons as she straddled him.

Nix nodded "It certainly would make sense, but seems a little far fetched just because she might be jealous"

"Speirs dumped her though and women are not stupid, it doesn't take an evil genius to work out that he probably broke it off for another woman!"

"Yes but if you believe this Taylor might be a mole, why would he be playing silly games for his niece?"

"If he's a Nazi spy Lew, he won't give two shits, Fin is a wanted SOE agent, he'll score big points handing her over to the Gestapo!"

"Was it the casino job that got Fin on the most wanted list?" Nix asked "Are you on it?"

"I may be on it, we don't have intel to suggest either way, No it wasn't the casino job for Fin, although it wouldn't have helped!" Eve smirked, "it's something else" Eve answered seriously wondering if she should have said anything at all.

"What did she do? kill a whole battalion?!" Nix joked.

"She's not on the list for any killings she carried out, it's much bigger than that, much bigger"

"What is it?" Nix asked lifting Eve's shirt up over her head.

"I'm sorry darling, that really is information for after the war"

Nix sighed, but knew better than to pursue it "What do you suggest then Eve?" Nix asked leaning forward of the head board and placing his hands under Eve's bum to lift her onto him.

Eve gasped excitedly "Find out where Fin's orders come from when they get through here and I'll monitor Taylor's movements my end. I need hard evidence if I'm to hand him over, he's too high up for just hearsay and suspicion."

"Should we be informing Fin of this?" Nix asked squeezing Eve's thighs.

"No, she is probably already suspicious herself" Eve answered.

"Then why hasn't she questioned it or raised any concerns with me?"

"Because she can be a bit smug and over confident at times, she likes to boost her own ego, it's probably a challenge to her!" Eve replied annoyed, thinking of some of her friend's personality traits.

"And what about Speirs and Edie, do you think Edie could be a spy?" Nix leaned in nibbling at Eve's neck. "You need to be careful, I'm not sure I want you involved with a Nazi spy" Nix added, worried for his Eve.

"No definitely not, she's a little too simple! But I do need to find out for certain on her condition though, but it will have to wait. Keeping Fin alive is our priority." Eve said "Don't worry my darling, this is nothing compared to other stuff I've done!" Eve winked pulling away and leaning in to kiss Lew on the lips, his stubble lightly tickled her face leaving a little red rash on her chin.

...

Foy

They had received orders to move out to the town of Hagenau. Fin headed out to help Doc, she had stayed with him that night, not wanting to be with the rest of the lads and joking around. Doc had let her sleep and now she felt all flustered. The one thing she was going to do and that was to pull herself together and remember why she was here, she was to help fight a war not to find love. This was her punishment for taking her eye off the ball. It did grate on her that Captain Speirs had said she attracted trouble, if she ever got the chance, she would correct him that she was ordered into trouble, how could he talk anyway when he ran through the German line in Foy, now that is attracting trouble! Blimin hypocrite! Of all the stupid things to do! And brave…what if he had got hurt or God forbid …killed! Ok, snap out of it Fin! She scolded herself, stop thinking about him for starters if you want a chance of getting out the other side of this with your head in the right place.

"Corporal Finney!" Speirs shouted interrupting Fin's thoughts and journey over to Doc. She turned around.

"Sir?"

"CP now" he ordered turning back in the direction of the Company CP.

Fin reluctantly walked over, this was the last place she wanted to be considering the last time she was there.

Fin walked tentatively into the building.

"Eve!" Fin shouted in delight at the sight of her best friend standing next to Nix. "What are you doing here?" she exclaimed walking over and embracing her dear friend. Eve couldn't have timed her visit any more perfectly!

"I'm here on official business unfortunately" Eve frowned. Hugging her friend tightly.

"Wait a minute, how did you get here, Oh my God Eve did you jump?" Fin demanded.

"It was the quickest way to get to you" Eve mumbled, knowing Fin was about to reprimand her. Although Fin was now a Corporal, Eve had always known Fin as her superior officer and that's how she had always treated her.

"We agreed, no more jumps and especially none unless I'm there with you! Christ's sake Eve what if..."

"Why no more jumps?" Nix interrupted the girls conversation. Speirs looked on in interest.

Fin turned to Nix "She busted her ankle on her second jump. It had healed by her third, or so we thought. On her landing it went again. I only managed to make it to her in time before she was... well I don't want to say it out loud, but it involved a small squad of drunk Nazis" Fin said sadly remembering that night as if it was yesterday. Fin narrowly missed losing her best friend, something she never would have coped with or allow to come close to again.

"It's true, Fin saved me from a potential horror and I won't say out loud what we did to them either!" Eve smiled taking Fin's hand and squeezing it in both of hers.

"I don't think I want to know the details!" Nix said, he had fallen head over heels for Eve and the thought of her in harm's way worried him. "I agree, no more jumps without Fin or me!"

"Promise me! No more jumps Eve!" Fin begged.

"I promise" Eve smiled. Looking at her two favourite people in turn.

Speirs sighed, sitting back in his chair, pretending to look uninterested in their conversation. He didn't want to hear stuff like this. Why couldn't Cara be in Boston wearing an apron waiting for him to come home?

"Anyway down to business darling." Eve began, bringing everyone back to reality, an unwelcome reality though as far as everyone was concerned "Congratulations as of 24:00 you were reinstated as an operative SOE agent, codename Loralie is now active...once again...but you are on standby, to stay with Easy Company until orders come through"

Watching Fin smile a broad smile Eve wondered if maybe it was a welcome reality for her.

Fin was secretly delighted; this was her chance to escape her heartache from Captain Speirs. She would be devastated to leave the rest of the lads, but that was a heartache she could cope with until she saw them again. Pity she was just on standby.

"Well you don't have to look so pleased while I'm handing you your suicide pill!" Eve scolded Fin.

Fin and Speirs made eye contact and Fin's smile grew as she placed the pill in her jacket inside pocket, patting it affectionately. Speirs looked away, the woman was pissing him off, how could she so calmly accept that pill? He knew why they carried them, torture would be too much to handle, he hated what Fin was! Hated it!

"It'll be sad to leave the men, but I'm eager to get back in the field for SOE" Fin thanked Eve taking her false identification papers, looking at her new name for the next mission and raising an eyebrow before placing them in her other inside pocket.

"You're on standby my darling, I'll be hoping and using whatever influence I have to make sure you don't end up in the field for SOE" Eve replied smirking at Fin. Eve knew exactly what game Fin was trying to play, but Eve wasn't having any of it, they could annoy Speirs another way. "Are you going to miss Herrick?" Eve winked, changing the subject.

"Do you know what, I think I will a tiny bit, it's an end of an era!" Fin replied smiling well aware of Eve's plan.

"Who is Herrick?" Nix asked

"He was supposed to be my executioner" Fin replied nonchalantly before turning back to Eve

Speirs stood up and walked over to another table to busy himself, she better not be ungrateful, he saved her fucking life…then tore her heart out…

"Erik is still alive according to recent intelligence, maybe you'll bump into him?" Eve chatted comically

"Maybe, his temper is shorter than Herrick's though" Fin grinned "I wouldn't get away with him what Herrick let me get away with."

"Yes, true, maybe Maxim, then? He was always good for a laugh and a tease"

"Maxim is still alive?!" Fin asked surprised

"Barely, but yes he's still kicking up dirt somewhere on the western front"

"Well I have to say I am surprised at that!" Fin was genuinely surprised "He always seemed like he needed his mother to wipe his arse!"

"Er... ladies, how many Nazis do you know?" Nix asked unhappy with their chatter, he was uncomfortable with the 'relationship' they seemed to have built with several Germans, both of them had obviously got close and spent time with these men.

"Only a few!" Eve replied, looking over at Speirs who had his back to them, but she had been watching him and could see him tensing during their conversation, turning back to Fin " Oh Helene is alive!"

"No way! She needs a good kick in the..." Fin stopped short of finishing her sentence, causing both women to laugh hysterically.

"Oh do you remember when that young SS trooper walked in on us tying his officer up!" Eve laughed hardly being able to get the words out.

"Yes!" Fin laughed, nearly doubling over.

"Er... what happened?" Nix asked wondering if he'd regret his question.

"He caught us off guard, which is rare for us may I add" Eve giggled "Well we'd put our weapons down to tie up this particular nasty character in his office…"

"What were you both doing in his office?" Speirs asked turning around and staring at Fin.

"Now, see if we told you that, we'd have to kill you!" Eve winked at Speirs who looked like he could become nastier than the Nazi they had tied up.

"Anyway…" Eve continued noticing Fin wouldn't look at Speirs even though she must know he was staring at her "when his orderly walked in on us. He had us there with our hands up, his side arm pointing at us; he was panicking, hesitating even though Heir Nasty was barking at him to shoot us both! We needed to distract him so that I could grab the iron poker by the fire place, to give him and his superior a good old whack. Of all the things Fin could have come up with and she comes up with…" Eve laughed looking at Fin bury her face in her hands"… Well she lifts her shirt and flashes him!" Eve and Fin creased up laughing "The poor boy nearly fainted!"

Nix laughed, Speirs struggled but maintained his icy exterior. He was pissed that she had this whole other life that he probably would never find out about properly.

Knowing when to stop, Eve turned to Speirs.

"Do I have time for a cuppa and a proper catch up with Fin before you move out?"

Speirs nodded. "You got ten minutes"

"Brilliant, lead the way my darling" Eve said grabbing Fin's arm, the two best friends left the CP.

"Got our hands full with those two!" Nix winked at Speirs.

"You've got your hands full" Speirs corrected Nix

Nix furrowed his brow at Speirs "At least I'm on the right side of Miss deadly and Miss deadlier" he smirked before leaving an obviously fuming Speirs to wallow in his bad mood.

...

"Well darling , it's not all well in your camp is it?" Eve asked sipping her rather rancid cup of tea. She put it down pulling a face of disgust. Perching on a wall not far from the company CP.

"You get used to it" Fin commented noticing Eve's reaction "I'm fine, ok that was my first firing squad, but it's not like I've never had a gun pointed at me before"

"I wasn't talking about that!" Eve smiled " And you know it, of course I'm not bothered about the firing squad! Get talking!"

"Well, in a nutshell, we sort of got together, found out he has a pregnant wife, I threw a wobbler, we made up regardless of his pregnant wife, I nearly got shot, he dumps me"

"Ahh, clear as mud!" Eve laughed "Do you think it has more to do with him being your CO now?"

"Don't know"

"Well if he regains his senses, will you be willing to give him a chance?"

"Oh I don't know Eve, he still has a pregnant wife, so maybe this is all for the best"

"Come on Fin, you live for complication, you'd be bored mindless without it!"

"Ok, what if I do? We get to the end of the war and he goes home to his wife and child. Eve, we're sort of in the same boat here, what are you going to do?"

"I know Lew isn't happy in his marriage, but he is a father, so I'll be leaving the ball firmly in his court" Eve was extremely tempted to inform Fin of her suspicions about Edie's so called pregnancy, to let Fin know that their love lives might not be so similar, but if and when she confirms it, she'll be telling Speirs first.

Fin smiled 'I'm so happy that you're happy" but the difference was that Eve and Nix were in a full on relationship, she hadnt reached that far with Speirs.

"Bloody Yanks!" Eve smirked

"Tell me about it, they turn up late, whisk all the British girls off their feet, leaving very little for the humble Tommy and now they'll probably take all the credit for the war when the Allies win!" Fin chuckled.

Shifty pulled Fin up onto the truck while Speirs looked on. He could see she was sad to leave her friend. If she was still an officer, he would have her ride with him in the jeep, but then that probably wouldn't have been a good idea. She must hate him. He sighed as he watched Shifty cosy on up to her.

Hagenau

Fin had bunked up with the lads inside an abandoned building under the sporadic shelling from the Germans in Hagenau, the Krauts were on one side of the river and they were on the other. The Krauts would send over the odd shell if they spied a worthy target. They were sat near the window around a splintered wooden table. Fin had given Shifty, Luz, Tab, Lieb, Malarkey and Bull an offer they couldn't refuse.

"I didn't teach you that!" Shifty eyeballed Fin suspiciously as she fanned the deck, dealt out the cards and announced the instructions.

Fin grinned mischievously and pursed her lips at him sending a kiss over.

"Hang on a minute Fin! I felt sorry for you and let you win those cigarettes in the woods!" Shifty exclaimed as Fin trickled the cards between her hands displaying some fancy card shuffling skills.

"Never let a woman fool you into thinking she's incapable darling!" Fin teased blowing Shifty another kiss.

"Right girl! You're getting naked!" Luz laughed to the jeers and agreement from the rest of the men.

'Let's play!" Fin announced popping a cigarette between her lips as Luz grinned, leaning over and lighting it for her.

...

Speirs walked over to the Aid station in search of Cara, he could ask for Doc, but he'd use any excuse to have Cara close to him. She wasn't there! It was her break apparently. Doc suggested he tried her living quarters with the men. She had better be there, he had things to do and didn't want to be worrying about where she had gone now.

Speirs crumpled the letter in his hands. It was a letter from Edie. Private Vest had delivered it, earlier that morning. Everything seemed well with the pregnancy once again, which was a relief and she was pleased with his promotion although he was unsure how she knew about it without him writing to her But, she was very unhappy about him being Easy Company CO. She was completely paranoid about Cara, she did have good reason to be, but not any more.

Completely oblivious to the boots climbing the stairs up to their room, Fin and the lads were in full swing of their card game.

"Oh lads! It's a good job we're not playing for money!" Fin teased cheerfully as their building was rocked by some shelling nearby, but not deterring any of them from their game in the slightest. The door swung open.

"What's going on here?" Speirs barked angrily at the sight of half a dozen semi naked troopers and a fully clothed Cara all jumping to attention, knocking their chairs over as they did so.

"It would seem that Corporal Finney does know how to play poker Sir" Shifty answered. Fin stood smirking with her lit cigarette dangling from her lips.

Speirs glared over at Fin "Lipton needs a medic Corporal, get over to the Company CP now" he ordered turning around and slamming the door behind him.

...

Fin walked into the Company CP with a special cup of hot coffee. "Oh Sir! Look at the state of you!" she said looking at Lip who was obviously no better from his fever. She walked over and crouched down by him as he reclined on a sofa. "Here drink this"

"What is it?" he smiled

"It's going to knock that fever right out of you!" Fin winked.

Lip took the mug and sniffed the drink "Woah!" he pulled back shocked at the potency "What is it?" he asked again laughing.

"It's that brown shit you lot call coffee, with an added something that I acquired!" Fin grinned, winking.

"What did you acquire?!" Speirs barked at Fin upon entering the CP and overhearing the conversation.

"Er... nothing Sir!" Fin replied jumping up and turning to Speirs.

"Give me that mug!" Speirs demanded

Lip quickly downed the drink thanking his lucky stars that it wasn't very hot "Sorry Sir, I've drunk it" he replied spluttering and gagging, saving Fin.

Fin accidently let out a sigh of relief too loudly promptly gaining an angry glare from Speirs who grabbed Fin's elbow and pulled her in close "You forget I know all about you now!" he hissed "don't think you can get up to anything under my command and think I'll just let it go!"

"Yes Sir, sorry Sir" Fin replied she should show him more respect really, Fin felt a little ashamed of herself. As Speirs walked out of the CP, Fin walked over to Vest, where he had set up a few supplies and grabbed a blanket for Lip. Walking back, she sighed "You need to go to bed really, it's probably pneumonia" Fin draped the blanket over him as he coughed.

Fin perched herself on the edge of the sofa and mopped Lip's brow. "You my private nurse?" Lip smiled

"Yep, you can ask anything of me!" she winked.

"Hey!" Luz announced walking into the CP, now fully clothed "Look who I found!" Webster came in sheepishly behind him.

"Finally got out the hospital?" Fin enquired getting an elbow in the ribs off Lip.

"Look at you? Comfortable are we?" Luz laughed at Lip suggestively.

They were interrupted by another set of boots walking in "Is this Easy Company CP?" the voice asked. Fin looked up to see a young Lieutenant staring down at her. Fin rose to be told to stand at ease by the young Lieutenant.

"Lieutenant Jones looking for Captain Speirs" He said

"On his way Lieutenant, make yourself at home" Lip answered coughing, Fin leant over him and patted his back.

"Easy's medic?" Lieutenant Jones asked

"Yes Sir, a 24 hour service is available" Fin replied smiling.

"What platoon are you in?" Lieutenant Jones asked turning to Webster

"Waiting to find out Sir" he replied

"I should get you to bed" Fin said again smiling at Lip

"Well that's an offer I can't refuse!" Lip grinned.

Fin heard boots behind her again "Captain Speirs this is Lieutenant Jones" Lip said looking over Fin's shoulder.

Fin heard a 'clunk' turning around she saw Speirs had been looting, that's an idea, why didn't I think of that? Speirs put down a large clock on the piano and turned to Lip and Fin "For Christ's sake would ya go out back and sack out, there's beds with fresh sheets back there" he ordered "Corporal, get him back there, I didn't ask you over here for a social gathering!" Speirs continued, ignoring Jones and Webster.

"Yes Sir!"

Fin turned back to Lip "Come on Sir" she said her face dropping from cheerful to sadness.

"What have you done to piss him off?" Lip whispered

"Existing, I think" Fin said quietly.

They were interrupted by Winters and Nix walking into the CP and Jones standing to attention. Both men walked straight over to Speirs "Regiment wants a patrol, prisoner snatch" Winters started "Not my idea, this comes straight from Colonel Sink"

"Straight over the river" Nix added looking over at Fin and smiling as she continued to try and convince Lip to go out back before she was reprimanded again.

"What's the plan?" Speirs asked gruffly

"There's a three storey building just up the embankment on the Kraut side, we know there will be soldiers in there. You can pick fifteen men, well fourteen and one woman. Think who you want to lead this, we'll have full covering fire to assist" Winters said.

"One woman?" Speirs questioned quietly, Fin hadn't yet heard the full conversation being distracted by Lip.

"Fin goes, direct orders from Sink himself" Nix replied.

"She's tired, she needs a rest" Speirs argued

"I agree, but there is no negotiation, she goes, she speaks German and she may be able to identify someone of worth" Winters sighed not liking it either "she's probably the only one we don't need to worry about"

"I don't know, she's been a bit erratic lately" Speirs replied knowing that her behaviour was his own fault.

"Well, I feel sorry for the Germans then!" Winters quipped.

"When?" Speirs asked ignoring Winters comment.

"Tonight, 01:00" Nix replied.

Winters was more worried about Fin and the men than he was letting on "Speirs, I want this as safe as possible"

Speirs nodded, he wanted it as safe as possible more than anyone. He stared at Fin, "You hear any of that Corporal?"

"Enough Sir" Fin would actually look forward to this, a prisoner snatch, at least she was seeing some action. Once she had Lip in bed, she'd head straight over to the river and start planning. She knew she wouldn't be leading the mission, but she always liked to have her own plan, as a back up.

Nix turned to the young Lieutenant "Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Jones Sir"

"Oh yes, our West Pointer" Nix moved closer to him admiring his clean uniform "When did you graduate?"

"June 6th Sir" Jones said "D-Day Sir"

Fin nearly choked, Nix turned to Fin and smiled, turning back to Jones "Don't get hurt!" Nix left soon after and Fin finally walked Lip out back to a bed.

Fin tucked Lip in "I'll come check on you in a bit" She said softly and walked back into the main room where Lieutenant Jones was requesting permission to join tonight's patrol. Winters ignored him and turned to Speirs "Do you think nom-com could lead this?" Winters asked eyeing Fin as she walked back in.

"Maybe Martin, not Finney" Speirs replied bluntly noticing where Winters line of sight was.

"Fin is probably the most qualified" Winters correctly stated

"She's used to working alone though" Speirs fired back, he didn't want her in a difficult position for this patrol.

"True" Winters acknowledged Speirs' point. "Ok, have a think about the rest, we'll speak in an hour"

Speirs nodded as Fin followed Winters out the door "Where are you going?" he snapped at Fin

"To the river Sir, reconnaissance Sir"

"You stay on this side! Do you hear!" Speirs hissed

"Loud and clear Sir"

Fin walked outside, she knew where she stood with him, he didn't have to snap at her so much. She strolled down to the river, she ignored the mortar whizzing over her head. Fin crouched down on the river bank. She looked over. The German's were comfortable, they were, everyone had a roof over their head, why were we risking this so late in the game?

Speirs stepped out after Cara and followed her, he watched as she walked down to the river and looked over to the other side. He wished he could read her mind, he didn't trust her one bit to go on the patrol. He turned and walked back to the CP, Liebgott can speak German, Cara really didn't need to go.

...

Hampstead Heath

"She'll definitely be on the prisoner snatch, I've seen to it personally"

"She better had, we're running out of time"

"You do realise it won't make any difference when she is captured"

"No, but it would be satisfying"

"I'll be going off the grid soon"

"So will I"

Hagenau

Winters and Speirs approached the river. Speirs could no longer see Cara. He immediately started to concern himself, whipping his head around in all directions looking for her "Luz!" he called who was setting up a bazooka "have you seen Fin?"

"Up there Sir" Luz shot back pointing up to a tall barn.

Winters and Speirs looked up and could just about make out Fin lying on the roof with binoculars over her eyes looking in the direction of the German line, she was almost camouflaged.

Winters grinned "Fin!" he called up "Care to join us?"

Fin lowered her binoculars and looked down to see a smiling Winters looking up at her and an expressionless Speirs. Fin shuffled herself to the edge of the roof, sat up and dangled her legs over. She then dropped down catching a ledge with one hand before swinging her body and dropping to the ground, she landed in a crouch, rose and walked over to Winters and Speirs straightening out her uniform.

"You always amaze me how you don't break anything!" Winters grinned.

Ignoring Speirs glare, Fin addressed them both "I've been watching the Krauts and I can do the prisoner snatch on my own Sirs, it'll only be one at a time, but I can go back for a second and a third"

"Absolutely not!" Speirs snapped

Winters nodded in agreement "It would be an idea Fin and I have every confidence in you, but these are direct orders"

"I could go now though Sir" Fin replied she didn't see why they had to put several lives at risk when she was quite capable on her own. "and then again for a second prisoner tonight"

"Didn't you hear? No Corporal!" Speirs angrily said. The woman had a death wish, how on earth was he going to keep her safe?

Winters turned to Speirs a little surprised at his reaction "Just out of interest Fin, how exactly would you get over there now without being seen?" he asked slowly turning his head to Fin.

"Oh quite easily Sir, firstly, I would..."

Before Fin could continue, they were interrupted "Captain Winters?" They all turned to see Private Vest and Lieutenant Jones approaching.

"Request permission to join the patrol Sir, I haven't seen any action yet and I'd like to see some before this is all over" Vest asked

"Granted" Winters replied "Briefing in the CP in five"

Vest nodded and walked away

"Permission to join the patrol Sir" Jones then asked

Speirs turned "Observer only" he replied, Jones thanked him and headed over to the CP

"Come on, we all best get over there" Winters said forgetting his question to Fin. Fin walked ahead to be joined by Speirs who grabbed her upper arm and pulled her off to the side as Winters, Vest and Jones walked past them to the CP.

"What the hell do ya think you're doing?" he hissed.

"Sorry Sir, I don't quite understand the question"

"Being on tonight's patrol is more than enough, don't put ideas into Winters' head about you doing it alone!"

"I was just thinking about the safety of the men Sir"

"Think about your own safety!" Speirs sighed "or I'll have you pulled off tonight's patrol"

"You can't do that Sir, direct orders remember"

"Don't fucking underestimate me!" Speirs snapped aggressively tightening his grip on Fin's arm before releasing her and stalking off ahead to the CP.

If he still cared, he had a funny way of showing it! Fin thought.

Fin slowly followed,

"Hey Fin!"

Fin turned to see Perconte standing there, she smiled and stopped.

"Where were you to sort my bullet?" he laughed turning around and bending over.

"I know! I'm gutted I never got to see your arse!" Fin called over, taking care to say 'arse' and not 'ass'

"Corporal Finney! Would you get your God damn self over here now!" Speirs shouted from the entrance of the company CP.

Fin waved good bye to Perconte and jogged over to Speirs.

...

Fin sat next to Webster around a table as Winters began the brief, the rest of the men sat back on their chairs and were resting their feet on the table, Fin considered joining them, but last time she did that the back legs went on her chair and collapsed, maybe not risk it during a brief.

"We have assembled 15 of you for a prisoner snatch tonight at 01:00. There will be four rubber boats to take you all across the river. Staff Sergeant Martin will be leading this mission, Lieutenant Jones will be there an observer. Translators will be Finney and Liebgott" Winters took two whistles from his pocket "We will have the whole battalion assisting your return, when we hear these whistles from you, we will open fire, so I expect you all back in the boats with the prisoners" Winters eye balled Fin.

Fin was offended as if she wouldn't be on the boats, she daren't look at Speirs!

"I want some ammo on a time delay in the out post as well. I want this carried out quickly, get in, get out, all of you!" Winters looked round them all making eye contact "Remember you're there to capture prisoners, so don't shoot the first thing that moves! Ok is everyone clear?"

"Yes Sir!" they all said in unison.

"Good Luck!" Winters nodded at them all, then left, followed by Speirs.

"Hey Fin, I speak German too, they don't need three interpreters on this patrol" Webster said leaning into Fin's ear "I'm gonna go mention it"

"Right-o" Fin answered "Webster!"

Webster stopped and turned "Make sure they give Lieb a break" Fin requested.

Webster walked outside and approached Winters, Speirs, Nix and Martin.

"Full moon, therefore no helmets" Nix said to Speirs sighing.

"Excuse me Sir" Web addressed Winters

"Yes"

"There are 16 of us, included in that are three translators, I can speak German Sir"

"And?" Winters questioned.

Speirs stepped in "Hey Liebgott, you want to sit this one out?" He asked as Liebgott walked past.

"Yes sir" Liebgott answered turning to Webster and thanking him.

Speirs would have preferred to have Cara sit this one out, but she had been the only named soldier on the orders from Sink, there was no getting her out of this one.

...

Fin crouched down by the river bank. The night was lit by the moon and the German searchlights hoping to spot Allied aircraft. It was eerily quiet. Fin was fine though, this shouldn't be difficult. Fin looked over to Lieutenant Jones as he put one of the whistles round his neck and tucked it into his jacket nothing shiny on display. Fin tucked a few loose strands of her blonde hair behind her ears. She'd been slowly losing hair grips through the war. Fin looked around, behind her the whole battalion was there, ready for them on their return. Fin looked for Speirs, just a glimpse of his face before she climbed into the boat. It should be straight forward this mission, but you never know when your time is up, so just one look at him before... but she couldn't see him, he was there though, she knew that.

Fin made her eay down to the first boat and climbed in. Martin looked at her "Ya good?" Fin nodded and watched as the three other boats filled with men.

Fin grabbed the rope with Shifty and they started to pull the boat along the water. Fin looked ahead, all quiet on the German front. Their silence was interrupted.

"Oh shit!" and a splash. "I can't swim!"

Fin looked back to see the last boat flipped over with three men desperately trying exit the freezing cold water. They all managed it to the bank safely. Fin looked at Martin who motioned her to keep going.

They reached the Kraut side, jumping out, each boat was hauled up slightly out of the water. It was freezing, Fin's boots and trousers were already wet through, but she ignored it the best she could. Shifty grabbed her arm and hauled her up the bank with him where Martin was cutting through a barb wire fence. Fin lay on her stomach, her rifle in front.

...

Speirs watched Cara until he could no longer see her on the other side of the river. Her blonde hair shone under the moonlight, he worried, she'd stand out a mile as a target for the Krauts. With three men no longer on the damn patrol, meant she may have to be even more involved. He saw her look around before she got in the boat, he hoped she was looking for him.

...

Fin crawled under the fence and ran to her position. She was to go in first, she was more stealthy than the rest and besides Shifty, her aim was on point. Fin ran toward their target, she pressed herself against the wall upon reaching it. She looked back to see that the lads had taken their respective positions

Fin made eye contact with Martin who ran forward and joined her. He signalled for her to take out the window. Fin moved, shattering the glass CRACK! They were soon joined by Vest, Jackson, Ramirez, McClung and Webster.

Martin fired another shot sending off a small explosion. Fin moved to run up the stairs and through the door to enter. Jackson pushed past Fin and threw the door open, throwing in a grenade, but entered too soon after before it had even gone off. Fin lunged forward and grabbed him, but it was too late

BOOM!

Mayhem ensued, Jackson took the brunt of the blast. Very briefly looking at Jackson Fin shouted "We need to evacuate him!" She then moved forward pointing her rifle at three Germans screaming at them.

Fin shouted back "Hände hoch!" (Hands up!) as one of the Germans held up his pistol towards them all, waving it between her and Webster "Lass deine Waffe fallen!" (Drop your weapons!) Fin instructed the Germans.

"Halt die Klappe!" (Keep your mouth shut!) Fin shouted as the men moved closer to corner them. The German holding the pistol finally dropped it as Martin threatened him with the butt of his rifle.

As the lads secured the prisoners, Fin turned to Jackson, his face was severely wounded from the grenade and his breathing was laboured. "We need him out of here now!" Fin pleaded over the shouting from the Germans and the lads. Martin quickly instructed Vest and Ramirez to take Jackson "He's going to go into shock if we don't get him out of here now!" She added.

Seeing the distress in Vest's face, Fin grabbed his shoulder "Stay calm, you need to for Jackson" Vest nodded and started to move Jackson along with Ramirez.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Martin shouted.

Fin pulled out her knife and threatened the three German prisoners "Kein Klang!" (Not a sound!) She barked, before putting it away.

Martin handed Fin a bag "take the chargers and set them!" He ordered. This wasn't supposed to have been Fin's job, but with three men less and Jackson seriously wounded, it was all hands on deck.

"Let's go! Let's go" Martin repeated.

"You ready Fin!?" Martin called as he made the command for them all to move out. Fin nodded and moved forward to follow Martin through the door. Fin moved out and onto the stairs when the Krauts opened fire, forcing Fin to fall back through the door of the building. Fin got up and moved for the door again to have shots peppering at her feet, again forcing her back inside.

What the fuck!? What was going on? She must have been spotted. Fin turned to the back of the building to find another way out. There was the window round the side they had shot through. Fin headed over to it, but before she got there, she was pushed roughly to the ground, her face slammed into the wood floor. A body on top of her, a knee in her back, they were trying to grab her arms. Fin let out a cry as she desperately tried to get them off her. They were in the advantageous position right now and Fin needed to amend that quickly.

...

Speirs saw the flashes from the Kraut suppressing fire, they were on their way back They needed to blow those whistles, then he would be able to relax a little knowing that Fin was on the boats.

...

She was still on her front, struggling but not yet down. He still didn't have her arms secured.

Fin heard the piercing sound of whistles oh shit! They were on the boats! Immediately after, Fin heard their covering fire open up. If she got through this alive, it would be a miracle! Kraut fire and friendly fire!

Right enough of this! Fin squeezed her arm under herself and felt for her knife, as she lifted her head, the assailant grabbed her hair, slamming her head hard into the floor. Fin now had to move quickly, he was aiming to knock her out.

...

Shifty ducked low into the boat pulling it over across the river. Fin wasn't with him, but he knew she was right with Martin, she probably got in another boat.

...

Luz scrambled down to the water as the boats pulled up. He helped Vest and Ramirez with Jackson, he turned to Shifty who was scrambling up the frozen ground as he picked Jackson up "Where's Fin?"

"She's with Martin" Shifty answered

Luz sighed a big sigh of relief.

Martin ran up the bank running ahead to the barn, "Get Jackson in here! Someone get Doc, Fin's gonna need help with Jackson!" he shouted.

Upon hearing Martin shout Fin's name, Speirs relaxed. She was back but it didn't sound too good for Jackson. He needed to report to the CP but he'd get straight back over, soon as.

The Kraut prisoners were marched into the same barn where Jackson was taken, chaos erupted inside. Vest was screaming, Jackson was crying, coughing and spluttering.

Doc ran in, not thinking about why Fin wasn't there he quickly attended to Jackson. "Hold his legs!" he called to Lieutenant Jones, who swiftly did as he was told.

"He's gonna fucking die!" Vest screamed. Vest turned and lunged at the prisoners. Lieutenant Jones grabbed him pulling him away "If you kill them, we'll have to go back!" he yelled.

"I need quiet!" Doc shouted

"What can I do Doc?" Martin asked.

"An ambulance!" Doc shouted "and Fin! Where the fuck is Fin?"

Martin stood frozen Fin, she was right behind me! He scanned the room, she wasn't here

"Ambulance!" Doc shouted at Martin snapping him back

"I don't wanna die!" Jackson whimpered struggling to breathe.

"Stay with me!" Doc said softly

"I don't wanna die!" Jackson choked his last breath.

Martin ran out to request the ambulance.

"Shit! Where's Fin?" Shifty shouted "Who was on the last boat?"

"I was, she wasn't with us" Webster replied.

"What the fuck..." Shifty was interrupted by Speirs entering the barn.

Speirs walked straight over to Jackson and frowned. "You did your best" he said turning to Doc and a little surprised not to see Fin, she must have taken herself off, upset...

"Where is Corporal Finney?" Speirs asked anyway.

"We can't find her" Martin replied coming back in. He went and requested the ambulance and then ran down to the river, there was no sign of her

"What?!" He shouted "What do you mean you can't find her?"

"She wasn't on the boats Sir" Martin replied dreading Speirs' reaction.

Speirs stood for a second there was no way they'd get back across the river now to rescue her. Fuck! She's received orders! She's gone!

Just as Speirs' world crumbled around him, the doors burst open.

"Fin!" Martin shouted relieved as she ran in, dripping wet.

"Jackson!?" she exclaimed desperately avoiding eye contact with Speirs and ignoring Martin's concern.

Doc looked up and shook his head sadly.

"No!" Fin called running over and pushing her way through to Jackson, who lay motionless in front of her. Fin stroked his hair "You darling boy" she whispered bending down and kissing his forehead. She tried to get to him as soon as she could. The water was freezing and it took her breath away as she swam across under gun fire from both sides. Doc patted Fin as Jackson was removed and taken outside. Fin leant against the wall and sighed, she couldn't believe they lost Jackson the way they did. She tried to stop him.

"What happened?" Martin demanded, approaching Fin, he was especially annoyed that they had left her behind under his lead.

"Corporal!" Speirs called, approaching her as well, trying not to sound too pissed considering they had just lost a young trooper. "Why weren't you on the boats with everyone else?" he demanded

"It seems you Yanks like to leave on time and well... I'm used to British transport Sir" Fin answered, not really wanting to deal with this now.

Speirs rolled his eyes trying to suppress his anger. Did she have any idea how worried they all were? How worried he was? How close he was to going over there to find her, regardless of whether he thought she had orders come through or not.

"You're soaking wet!" Martin observed grabbing Fin's heavily laden jacket. "You swam back?! It's fucking freezing out there!"

You lot took all the boats!" Fin tried to sound light hearted as her teeth chattered uncontrollably. "Besides, Captain Speirs has already proven it can be done in these temperatures"

"You were supposed to be on the last boat! What happened?" Martin snapped angrily.

"Save it! I want a full debrief at the CP now!" Speirs barked at Martin.

Ignoring Martin and Speirs, Fin approached the two German prisoners, she thought they grabbed three?

"Wir sollten die Amerikaner fragen, wie sie im Schlafzimmer ist" (We should ask the American's what she is like in bed) one of the German prisoners said to his friend sniggering at Fin. Overhearing, Webster stalked over ready to defend Fin, but Fin put her arm up and stopped him. Walking up to the German soldier herself instead, Fin played with the buttons on his jacket and sweetly replied "Sie würden es nicht wissen, versuchen Sie stattdessen Ihr Vater zu fragen" (They wouldn't know, but try asking your father) Webster laughed and patted Fin on the back as she walked past him, leaving the lads to deal with the prisoners, she left the barn.

"What was just said Private Webster?" Lieutenant Jones asked, Speirs stepped in closer to listen in.

"The Kraut prisoner asked whether they should ask us what Fin is like in bed Sir" he answered

"And what did the Corporal say?" Jones asked

"She said we wouldn't know but to try asking his father instead, Sir" Web smirked.

Lieutenant Jones smiled, but it made Speirs angry. He was finding it very difficult to suppress his feelings for her, he should be finding it amusing like the others, but his immediate reaction was making him question whether he could just treat her like any other trooper. As Web marched the prisoners past him, he barged into one, knocking him down to the ground, when he tried to get up, Speirs pushed him back down with his foot, before backing off and walking after Fin.

"Corporal Finney!" Speirs called as Fin was disappearing into the dark.

"Sir?" Fin stopped and turned around to face her CO, he'd better make this quick, after losing Jackson she didn't want to play silly beggars.

Speirs marched up to her stopping in front of her, too close for comfort "I thought you had disappeared! I thought you had received orders" he said unable to hide the concern in his voice.

"Nope, not got rid of me yet Sir!" Fin grinned, shivering violently. She tried to act like she did with all the lads, although it was just an 'act' with Speirs. Her heart raced and she felt butterflies in her stomach whenever he looked her way or spoke her name.

"How can you act like nothing has ever happened between us?!" Speirs demanded out of the blue.

"Err... pot boiling the kettle black there Sir!"

Speirs shook his head "Women! So fucking confusing!"

"What!" Fin said a little too high pitched. "Me? Confusing!?"

"That's right!" Speirs said facing away from her.

Fin couldn't believe what she was hearing, did he have amnesia?! She was so angry, she just couldn't find the words suitable enough " What! You... err... Scheiße Kopf!" (Shit head!) Fin blurted out.

Speirs snapped his head at her " My German is better than you know!"

"Comment est votre branleur Français?" (How is your French wanker?) Fin replied angrily.

"Get over to the CP for a debrief, NOW!" Speirs ordered unable to translate her French, but he was guessing it was along the same lines as her German.

"Do I have time to brew up first Sir?" she asked calmly.

"Fucking hell! No Corporal!" Speirs shouted, shaking his head in disbelief "Stop using every fucking spare second to make tea!"

"Yes Sir, heading to the CP now Sir" Fin grumbled, she was freezing, soaking wet and could murder a cuppa right now.

Back in the Company CP, Martin debriefed the Officers. "We just lost Jackson, he took a grenade to the face, followed in too soon after he threw it!" Martin sighed "Fin tried to grab him, but it was too late"

"The mission was well executed" Winters commented, meaning it even though Fin swam back. What did he expect though? "You can go Martin" Winters ordered him out leaving just the officers and Fin.

Fin felt particularly upset over the explanation into Jackson death, but it seemed she wouldn't be given any time to come to terms with it. Speirs turned to Fin "Care to explain why you weren't on the boats?"

"I was providing covering fire, so the lads could get Jackson and the prisoners onto the boats Sir"

"Did Martin order you to do that?"

"No Sir"

"Why did you feel you were in a position to make such a decision?"

"I didn't Sir, I acted instinctively"

"Don't reprimand Corporal Finney, Captain Speirs Sir" Lieutenant Jones piped up as Speirs laid into Fin for not being on the boats.

"Why?" Speirs snapped at him.

"I gave her the order to hang slightly behind to make sure we got the prisoners and Jackson on the boats, I didn't realise she had stayed as far back as she did"

"You weren't leading the mission!" Speirs shouted pointing his finger aggressively at the young Lieutenant.

"I realise Sir and I apologise"

"Lieutenant Jones is just covering for me Sir, I took it upon myself to hang back" Fin said defending the young officer.

"No you didn't Corporal" Jones replied.

"Shut up both of you!" Speirs snapped.

"Lieutenant Jones, you are dismissed" Winters ordered. Once Jones had left, Winters turned to Fin "What happened?"

"I'm a liability Sir, it was an attempt to capture me" Fin started to the shocked expressions on Winters, Speirs and Nix's faces. "I was pinned back down into the building by German fire aimed directly at me. I was then attacked" Fin lifted up her hair where she had carefully brushed it over to hide the blood matted hair underneath.

Winters sighed.

"I know you're on the most wanted list Fin, what the hell did you do, for them to try and risk capturing you?" Nix asked knowing Eve had already hinted at this.

"I'm bound by the official secrets act Sir, I'll tell you after the war" Fin replied sheepishly

Speirs scowled, at least there was a secret none of them were privy to.

"Ok, Fin, but I think we'll be making sure you keep a low profile for the time being" Winters replied "Do you need me to send Doc over?"

"No, it's only a scratch" Fin replied down playing her wound slightly.

Speirs stared at Cara so hard he nearly bore holes into her, he was incredibly pissed off with the whole mission, he didn't think a prisoner snatch was necessary or worth it, considering the loss of Jackson and now Cara was nearly captured as well. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Cara's teeth chattering. Guilt washed over him, she must be freezing, she was still in her soaking wet clothes.

"Get out the back and get a warm shower Corporal, before you get sick" Speirs ordered. He felt bad, he'd been taking his anger out on her ever since he became her CO, he'd try and talk to her, try and smooth things out.

...

Fin reluctantly stepped out of the shower and grabbed the white fluffy towel left in the bathroom. It was slightly larger that her Army issue one and with her weight loss, she felt cosy as she wrapped it around her. Still no second towel for her hair though. Patting herself down so she didn't drip water everywhere she then stepped over to the mirror and rubbed the condensation away. She didn't look half bad she thought. No signs of the bruises that she had received from Herrick on her 'capture' her eyes were no longer red from crying over her CO, the gash to her head was smaller than she had originally thought and her skin was flushed pink again, no doubt from the hot shower she just had, but it didn't matter. Looking a little decent made her feel better. Walking away she opened the door to retrieve her uniform from the bedroom, a new clean one. As she stepped in and walked over to the bed, the door to the bedroom opened, momentarily freezing Fin to the spot at being caught in just a towel again.

Speirs stepped into the bedroom immediately seeing Fin standing in the middle of the room like a rabbit caught in headlights. The sight of her was incredible. How could he have given that up. He was instantly aroused, he wanted her. Fin suddenly started to shake her head "No! No!" she said sternly to him holding her towel tightly in place with both hands. He stepped closer to her, grinning. Fin's heart raced he had a naughty, but predatory look on his face and she'd be damned if she was going to give him what he wanted "Don't you dare Sir!"

Speirs ignored Fin and stepped in closer again, he wasn't going to be able resist her. Fin turned to run back into the bathroom, but Speirs was ridiculously quick and got there first, reaching out he pushed the bathroom door shut in front of her before she could make it, pinning her between him and the closed door. Fin could feel his body brushing against hers and his heart pounding even through her fluffy towel. She felt his breath on the back of her neck sending a shiver of ecstasy down her spine. He nuzzled his nose and lips into her wet hair, taking her in, then placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him.

"Don't do anything that would be deemed inappropriate of a married officer!" Fin hissed using some of his own words against him.

Speirs smirked "Sir" he added.

Fin gasped as he went straight for her neck, kissing her lightly, teasingly. She lifted her head to allow him more access in order to delay his journey to her lips, she hadn't yet decided if she was going to let this happen. His hands slid down, holding her firmly by her bare upper arms. She knew she had promised herself that there would be no more regrets, but would there be a new regret if she let him seduce her? Fin didn't know if she could persuade herself otherwise, she knew this was wrong, he had broken her and now he thought he could just have her? But was she strong enough to stop this? She wasn't in control and it didn't sit well with her. He needed to let her go, but could she let him go? She was in love with him. Bloody bedroom politics, she'd gone from being damn sure he wouldn't have her to wondering whether she wanted him to stop.

Fin let out a moan as he ran his hands over her breasts and round the back of her, tugging at her towel, desperately trying to touch more of her, but she still held the towel firmly in place. He sighed kissing her temple and moving softly to her cheek "you're killing me here baby" he pressed himself against her irritated by her lack of affection towards him.

Time to make up your mind girl,

You could make this an incredible, but heart breaking memory... or leave this room frustrated, but at least with your heart still holding it together...