For Jack this scene was all too familiar and it took all his self restraint to stay composed. Though he supposed Yumi was facing a different kind of strife as she walked passed their guests. He wondered how many times she must have pictured this day in her mind with a different man awaiting her? Well at least he knew she was just as unhappy despite what her face showed. She did say they needed to at least appear happy and keep people at ease.

Standing face to face they awaited the priest to begin the ceremony.

It went well enough as they passed the cups of sake amongst themselves, symbolically joining their families. Though they each passed on offering vows. Jack did not trust himself to speak and it was likely Yumi felt the same. The pair waited in silence and dread for the ceremony to finish.

If the ceremony was painful the reception was torturous. Yes Jack was happy to see his former mentors and peers from over sees again and Yumi was happy to see friends and family but rather than enjoy themselves each tried to drag out the festivities as much as possible. They ate their meal portions as slowly as possible, after every speech they tried to drag out the applause longer and after every performance they tired to get an encore. While they manage to make everything last longer than it any right to have it was all in vain for what they dreaded would come inevitably.

So they sat, in dressing robes, alone in what was to be their room in the dead of night. Nothing save for a few candles to light the room, each sitting on opposite sides of the futon. Of coarse they knew this was to come and tried to prepare but one can't simply prepare for something of this nature.

"Well ummm….we should uh get on with this." It was so strange seeing Yumi fumble over her words in another situation Jack would laugh but that would be too cruel now.

"Yes umm we should uh." He scratched his head in uncertainty. He'd felt awkward around Ashi as well but this was different. This was not nerves of excitement but apprehension. "So ummm should I.."

"OH!" She cut him off. "Look they left us a bottle of sake." Quickly she rose to get the bottle. "I uh I don't normally indulge…but given the circumstance…" In the dim light he could see a faint blush on her face. Yumi was such a direct and to the point person it was odd to see her so flustered.

"Um yes yes." Jack agreed though still to afraid to move, this situation was mortifying. "Perhaps it will help calm our nerves and make this situation less…." He tried to find the word as Yumi poured him a cup. "Distasteful."

"I did not realize I was so distasteful." She scoffed drinking her share. It was then Jack realized how insulting his words were and tried to take them back only for her to laugh lightly at him. "I am just teasing you. I thought you'd have caught on to my humor by now."

Jack sighed in relief. Yes in the months leading to the ceremony Yumi had displayed a biting dry wit that he always seemed to be at the receiving end of. In some ways it reminded Jack of the Scotsman though not as loud and far more witty. He very much doubted she would appreciate the sentiment. Still he could see her teasing was done with care and always in a friendly manner. She was right he could call her friend. At least in private.

Cup after cup they drank conversing about the days proceedings and how their guests acted. Weddings and feasts always seemed to bring out boisterous side of even the most stoic of people. Their faces grew red and words muddled, a strange state for either of them. Soon though they could not pour properly and took to drinking straight from the bottle that was quickly running low.

"So so tell me.." Yumi started laughing, her normally carefully crafted words falling to the wayside. "Tell me how um how far did you and your um Ashi go?"

"Hmmm" Jack was finding it hard to sit up let alone understand what she meant. "Oh we went very far. We traveled to many places…" He smiled and she burst out into laughter.

"No no." She shook her head. "I meant um oh don't make me say it!" Long hands covered her face in embarrassment, poorly, and the meaning dawned on Jack.

"Oh um yes well you see um…." He stuttered out blushing furiously.

"My my *hic* not as honorable as you seem hmm." She taunted.

"No no." He tried to defend waving his hand and failing at the simple action. "See it was the the night before and Ashi said she was so excited and um…" Looking back on it did she know what would happen the next day.

"Its ok its ok." She replied patting his shoulder likely harder than intended. "I mean I well um as well with Hiro…"

"And you taunt me?" He snorted.

"I…I had every intention of Hiro being my one and only husband!" With this she found the bottle empty and carelessly let it roll on the ground. "So what did you did you finds attractive of Ashi?" She asked lazily.

"Her spirit she was so so sure of everything, though that did almost kill me…" He started and was all too willing to ramble semi coherently about his lost love until he caught Yumi's dead eyed stare.

"No No no not that…" She sighed allowing herself to lay down rather clumsily. "Look I'll go, My Hiro had these shoulders…." Her arms flew up and out as if to mimic how wide they had been. "I could barely wrap my arms around them and they were sooooo firm and and secure and hmmm." She stopped to giggle hands falling back to her face. "Oh then his skin it was marred with scars but so so so sensitive. Mmmmm and his FINGERS! oh i know it must seem strange but he would rack them through my hair so so nimble and gentle….." She sighed and appeared completely lost in memories, but she seemed to catch herself once Jack hiccuped loudly. "Um well now you."

"Well ummm her eyes they were so so big and expressive," He began, remembering how she could almost speak with them. "her hands were rough and calloused but so gentle when she touched me….." His head grew warm at the memories. "Um her body was strangely soft even with her muscles… my hands fit in her every curve like we were made for each other…" His hands unconsciously moved as though she were there, like he could feel her. It warmed his head more than the drink. As well as another part of him.

Lost in his thoughts Jack did not notice as Yumi sat back up, stretching to extinguish the remaining candles. Darkness came over the room and he did not see her gently push him down so much as he felt it. Opening his mouth to speak in confusion Yumi's hand came down to stop him.

"Shhsshhh." If she were more sober perhaps the action would not seem so childish. "It's ok. In the dark we can be who we need to." Unknown to her Jack made a face of confusion, she could not mean what he thought he heard Yumi was just drunk and rambling. "You can call me Ashi…" Her voice barely a whisper as he felt her hair fall and warm breath inching closer, and Jack knew he was wrong. "Hiro…" She sighed, her lips gliding over his own, and soft hands moving down his neck.

He should stop this. It wasn't right. To indulge in memories like this. And yet with his head fuzzy with drink and the dark hiding her features, it was so very easy to pretend. He could pretend her lips were fuller as he kiss her back. That the hair he tugged down was shorter and coarser than it was. The delicate hands that pushed and moved over his now barred shoulders felt rough and stronger in his minds eye. "Ashi…" He sighed out when her lips moved down his neck and he pulled her into a tight embrace.

They'd hate themselves come morning but, fuck, just let them have this fantasy. It was all they had left.


As the sun over took the moon Jack and Yumi were a mess of tangled limbs, half worn clothes, aching heads and deep embarrassment. The night before was a blur to both of them but their state of dress and residue left on the futon told them they had done what was needed. Even if they could not look the other in the eye. Jack moved first, careful of Yumi's hair, shutting the blinds a kindness the both were grateful for.

"So umm ah." Yum braced her head in pain attempting to tie her robe, hoping for a small bit of modesty. Jack understood her pain as well the most he could manage was a loose loop himself. "It would seem we did what we uh needed to."

"Yes…" He sat down his back against her own. "It seems we did…" That brief moment of pleasure from the night bit back them both now. Darkness could not hide what they'd done now.

"If the gods are kind." She sighed and he noticed her move some hair likely to try and comb it out. "I will be with child and we won't have to do that again…"

"Yes…" Jack agreed his head throbbing.

"Oh um not that it was um bad…" She said quickly, perhaps believing she had insulted him.

"Oh no no I know…" He replied just as quick. "It just felt…." His head hurt too much to find the right words, not wanting to offend her either.

"Wrong." She finished bluntly. "I'm sorry it was my idea I…"

"It had to be done." Jack cut her off. "You were right to ummm." Nothing he could say could fix this.

The pair sat in silence, back to back, they were truly wed now. The realization and shame fell over them slowly. This was not how either of them wanted this day to be. Yumi moved first on shaky legs, Jack tried to help her but she waved him off.

"I'm uh..I'll take a bath." She managed to say as she fixed her robe. Silently Jack nodded though she could not see.

"I will be taking a ride." He replied, he wanted to clear his head.

"I will see you later then… " Her words were more out of curtesy than anything else as she left before Jack could reply, not that he really wanted to.


A/N: This chapter was a bit hard for that...awkward scene, sorry for how long it took. I researched Shinto weddings but its such a long ceremony I couldnt think of a good way to write it all. Anyway the scene for the morning after was suppose to mirror the scene between Jack and Ashi at the start of ep C, not sure if it was easy to pick up on or not.