Epilogue: 50 years later

"So, did they catch you, Mom?" Nessie asked from Jake's lap. Both were caught up in the story.

I chuckled, lost in the memories.

"Well, not really" I answered "Charlie covered for us by saying there was no real evidence. In the end, though, I was punished, for, like, ages"

More like the rest of high school.

"And Carlisle got really mad" I said "And I do mean mad. Edward tells me he actually considered killing us for a second- cutting the problem off by the root, so to speak. Fortunately, Esme stopped it when he tried to tear Emmett's limbs off"

"His mom saved him?" Jake guffawed "I am so not letting him live that down!"

"Never, ever do anything like that to me, OK?" I said, suddenly nervous that Nessie would try to do the same things I had. The whole family chose that moment to arrive.

"What are you guys talking about?" Rose asked, walking in.

"Nothing" We all chorused. Rose shrugged.

"I'm bored" Alice whined, throwing herself on the sofa and making a face.

"Me too" Emmett agreed, complaining.

"Well, what do you wanna do?" Nessie asked.

"Let's play Monopoly" Jasper suggested from the doorway, grinning.

"No way, you always win" Edward said, coming over to hug me. "It's getting boring"

Particularly because Edward cheated, Jasper and Alice did too, and Emmett had a teeny weeny habit of shattering things- like, oh, I dunno, houses- when he was mad. Which, according to Esme, was neither good nor fun. I can't really say I disagreed.

"So, no board games, then" Rose agreed.

"Definitely no board games" Jacob answered. Huh, that was a first. My vampire sister-in-law was actually agreeing with my werewolf son-in-law. How weird can the world get?

"But I'm bored!" Alice complained "And we already watched every single DVD here, I already re-organized my closet and Rosalie's, internet shopping was just banned by Carlisle and there is not a single mall within a 1000 mile radius that I have not ravaged! I hate the summer!"

"Well, school is hardly any better" Edward pointed out. Nessie nodded emphatically. Her opinions about high school had been made clear to the family when she arrived after her first day shrieking 'My brain is burning! My brain, Carlisle, my brain!' And I have to admit that catching her beloved mom and dad in a rather… compromising position had not helped the matter any.

"OK, suckers, focus!" Jake yelled "Esme is away shopping in Home Depot-"

"Do not say the word shopping again" Alice interrupted fiercely.

"-And Carlisle is away at the hospital, working" He went on, disgusted. "Meaning that we are all alone"

"So you're saying we should… do something bad?" Jazz guessed.

"Something… forbidden" Emmett agreed, his eyes shining wildly. Oh, God, please help us.

"I will not let you people corrupt my daughter!" Edward argued "Disobeying our parents is bad!"

"So says the guy that became a stripper" Jake muttered. Nessie giggled a little hysterically. "I hardly think Esme and Carlisle allowed that"

Edward shut up. Also a first.

"I have an idea!" Alice, who had been oddly silent, shrieked, clapping her hands excitedly. We all looked at her, expectation on all our faces.

"What is it, Alice?" Rose asked warily.

"Let's play a game…"

THE END


OH, GOD, GUYS.

IT'S DONE. PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO WRITE MORE. I JUST… FEEL THIS IS THE WAY FOR IT TO GO.

I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR REVIEWS TELLING ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT, WHAT YOU LIKED THE MOST AND ANY FUNNY EXPERIENCES YOU HAD WHILE READING THIS OR BECAUSE OF IT. JUST, PLEASE, GUYS, PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME.

2960 PEOPLE READ THIS LAST MONTH. THAT'S AN AVERAGE OF 3000 PEOPLE PER MONTH. SO IF EVERYONE WHO HAS READ THIS LEAVES ME A REVIEW, I OUGHT TO HAVE 5000 REVIEWS IN… ABOUT A WEEK. SO PLEASE, REVIEW. AND IF YOU WANNA REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER, OR YOUR FAVORITE CHAPTER AFTERWARDS, I'D APPRECIATE THAT.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, GUYS. YOU CHANGED MY LIFE. I HOPE I CHANGED YOURS, TOO- MADE IT JUST A BIT BETTER, IF ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE. IT'S NICE TO KNOW PEOPLE FROM UK, USA, AUSTRALIA, CANADA, NEW ZEALAND, SINGAPORE, IRELAND, MEXICO, GERMANY, BRAZIL, FRANCE, PHILIPPINES, INDIA, NETHERLANDS, DOMINICAN, SWEDEN, PANAMA, DENMARK, TRINIDAD, JAMAICA, PERU, CHINA, THAILAND, BRUNEI, HUNGARY, TUNISIA, POLAND, ESTONIA, MALAYSIA, HONG KONG, BELGIUM, ROMANIA, NORWAY, LATVIA, PUERTO RICO, ECUADOR, ARGENTINA, GHANA, BULGARIA, SWITZERLAND, AUSTRIA, CZECH REVAR, INDONESIA, TURKEY, QATAR, SPAIN, VIETNAM, SOUTH AFRICA, SLOVENIA, PAKISTAN, GUAM, PORTUGAL, GREECE, TAIWAN AND UAE READ THIS.

OH, BTW, I GOTTA CLEAR SOMETHING UP:

THE GAME ALICE SUGGESTS AT THE END IS TRUTH OR DARE. AND, AS USUAL, SHE GETS HER WAY. THEY PLAY. BUT THAT, DEAR READERS, IS ANOTHER STORY…