Silence
White, white, and white. That was all I could see, and the last thing I will see as my face hit the ice. Hard. I'm sure my parents doing something to protest going somewhere in the background, but I payed no attention to it or anything at all. Not that I can.
Oh, and one last little detail that I missed: I'm deaf.
No, no. Hold your sympathy votes, I don't need any of that. What I do need is for someone, anyone to be able to be able to understand me, someone to be able to look me in the eye and say that I'm needed. That I'm not just a deadweight, that I will be able to do something for the clan.
Now that's harder, isn't it?
From the moment I was born, I knew that something was wrong with me, that something was missing. I didn't fully understand my condition until much further in my lifetime, about a few moons later, but I let that discovery change me. I was no longer the bouncing, happy kit that would always try to play with someone, even though I didn't know what was going on. I turned insecure, and have tantrums for little or no reasons at all.
I shouldn't have let it change me.
The clan eventually declared me as useless, and decided to throw me out. I didn't even know any of that until the time has come. I remember that moment well: Me, being an idiot and not running away, just sitting in the dark and messing with a pebble, the bulky guards, that came to grab me, everything. And now, I regretted it all. I should have ran. Why did I not see it coming?
Now, I lay down in the middle of leaf-bare, onto the cold snow that surrounds everything; the wind ruffles my dirty gray pelt, and I close my eyes. Out of all the ways that I could die, freezing to death was not such a bad one. Sure, it's cold, but as you slowly lose conciousness, your brain numbs down and so do all your other body parts, and then there's this warm soothing feeling as the air leaves my body forever and I lay down in the snow, drifting into an endless sleep. At least there, I will be accepted.
I smile. Accepted...
The next day, all that remains in a clump of silver fur in the ice, like an ancient fossil. And beneath it all, is that smile, the face with the curled-up mouth, the one with ears that hear nothing and everything, sleeping there. Smiling.
Smiling.
