Synopsis: Chat Noir stumbles onto Marinette's balcony after a long night of patrol and an accidental run in with some catnip. Just how does an average citizen manage to deal with a near drunk hero?

Author's Notes: Thanks Joey of AO3 for the suggestion! I'm a sucker for adorable Marichat scenes and dear god this was adorable in my mind. I hope this lives up to standard! Enjoy!

Chat Noir was screwed.

Royally screwed.

He rubbed at his face desperately, trying to get the catnip out of it but all the motion seemed to do was make it worse. The scent was intoxicating. It made his head spin and he stumbled across the roof tops of Paris. Everything for his solo patrol had been going well until he went to save a citizen from an oncoming plant, accidentally knocked down by the elderly inhabitant of the apartment it had come from. Of course she owned a cat. Of course she had to grow catnip of all things. Of course the smell attracted him. Of course he had to rub his face with it. It had only taken a second for him to rationally figure out that it was a horrible mistake and he'd taken off before he did something either embarrassing or stupid or both.

He stumbled again. This nearly sent him tumbling down to the road below. He still thankfully had enough of his senses left to grab his baton, aim it down, and hold on as it shot him across the street. He crashed hard on the nearby balcony.

A soft groan escaped his lips.

Wasted.

The roof felt good under his back. It didn't stop the world from spinning and a giggling sensation to rise in his throat but it felt secure.

His ears twitched as something opened to his left. He didn't look. There was a gasp and the light grew stronger as what he assumed to be an opening opened all the way, spilling light into the Paris evening. Someone quickly left the opening, approaching him, casting a shadow over his closed eyes. He felt the heat of said person near his face as if they were reaching for him but it stopped before finally coming in contact with the exposed skin of his forehead. It was surprisingly cool.

"Chat Noir? Are you alright? Did you run into an akuma?"

He opened his eyes. The goofiest, drunkest grin when he realized that it was Marinette Dupain-Cheng looking down worriedly at him.

"Heeeeeeeey purrincess," he slurred. The worried looked twisted then into something more amused. "No akuma. Just an alley cat on patrol."

She giggled. It was a beautiful sound and a soft purr escaped from his throat. "You sound... drunk? I didn't take you for the drinking type."

He giggled. "Nope," he popped. "Not drunk. Just an accident."

"You need a moment to sober up?"

"Pleeeeeeeease."

Her blue eyes rolled. That was when he noticed that her hair was down which prompted him to reach up and play with a few loose strands. Rarely did she wear her hair down or in any style other than twintails. She smirked cheekily. "You really are drunk."

"I'm not," he whined.

She patted his head. "I'm going to go get you something to eat. Wait here." Mari started to stand but Chat, surprisingly, grabbed on to her leg and he didn't let go as she froze, eyed him, then tried to pull said appendage away from him.

He couldn't stop the next words to come out of his mouth. Really, the catnip was hitting so hard he just didn't care anymore. "Haaaaave I ever told you how amazing you are Marinette?"

There was something mischievous and pleased sparkling in her eyes. "Oh really?"

"Yep," he purred, "really, really, really amazing. You were great during Evi-evili-evilistra-tor," he struggled. Chat nuzzled her knee and Marinette let out an odd squeak. His nose traveled up her leg gently but without breaking any boundaries before traveling back down the way he'd come; poor Marinette nearly lost her balance and her heart with the motion. She reached down to pry his hands off. He only gripped harder. The claws felt odd against her. He nuzzled harder. "Nooo," he complained. She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a soft, playful glare.

"Chat Noir. You've got to let me go." He pouted.

"But Mari!"

"Chat. Seriously. You need something to help with..." she paused, "Well, you're not drunk but what happened to you anyway? You never did tell me."

He groaned. "Cat-nip," he popped.

"And how...?" He started giggling at nothing. Turning over, he smiled up at her, his eyes closed though, his hand still attached to her leg.

"Saved a civilian. Lady dropped a buuuuuuuuuunch of it on the ground."

"Let me guess. It was too tempting?" He giggled again, rolling over to cling more to her leg again.

"It was great!" She shook her head and reached down again. This time, she tried to pry his hand off more carefully and succeeded, helping him stand. He wobbled but clung to her for support, giggling again. A cheeky grin crossed her face.

"Right. Well, let's get you inside and with some food in your system. I'll let my parents know so they don't think I'm talking to the wall or anything." She managed to get him inside the room and after fighting his paws off again, she laid him out on her lounge before disappearing downstairs to get aid from her parents who were only too happy to supply one of Paris' heroes with the food and drink he needed to sober up from his experience. Her heart swelled. She knew she had the greatest parents in the world. Coming back up stairs, Mari froze as she found said hero no longer on the lounge. Panic set in at first. Then she turned a bit to her desk and found him tangled in a bunch of yarn, giggling louder than before as he batted the ball back and forth. She set the tray down with a shake of the head. Tikki stole a cookie and hid behind the monitor of her chosen's computer, watching the half Asian girl attempt to untangle the hero who actually dared to hiss at her for taking his toy. When that task was done, she got him back on the lounge where she immediately provided him with a croissant and tea. He hesitated but ate. When he finished, they sat quiet for a minute.

Mari thought he was getting better but she should've known one croissant wasn't going to do it. A goofy grin crossed his face and he just slumped against her. The giggles returned. Chat wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her thigh, giggling the whole time. His tail moved happily back and forth in the air. She only watched in mild amusement. Finally, he regained enough of himself to slur out, "Can I tell you something?" Without waiting he continued with, "Ladybug is the greatest woman in the world. No lie. She's so strong and brave and smart and kind." Marinette felt her face flame a bit but she only stroked Chat's head to keep him from seeing it. His arms tightened around her. "Yep. The greatest. It's why I love her so much."

"I'm sure she loves you too," she managed to choke out. Chat turned his head and gave her his signature grin, the giggles growing stronger.

"Silly Mari. She doesn't love me like I love her."

She swallowed, "Oh? And how do you love her?"

He pulled a finger to his lips and giggled out a hissing noise, indicating her to be silent, "Shhhhhhhhhh you can't tell anyone. Especially not Ladybug. She'll be so mad if she finds out I talked to you." She only smiled a bit but nodded (making a mental note at the same time to talk to him about not really being upset with him for talking to civilians but at least to caution him against hanging around too much). The giggles were ridiculous but still going as he continued, "I love her like Plagg loves Camembert cheese."

"Who?"

Giggle. "Plagg. My kwami. I'm not supposed to tell'ya about him but you can keep a secret. He gives me my powers." He turned his head a bit so that he was facing away from her. "He looooooves Camembert cheese. Eats the stuff all the time. Makes me smell bad when I'm not in costume. He can't live without it. Well, my love for Ladybug is the same. I can't live without her." She swallowed again but patted his head one more time.

"Ha-have you told her this?"

Giggle. "I tried." Giggle, giggle. "But then stuff gets in the way." Giggle. "Like Dark Cupid."

"Oh." She paused. "Do you plan on telling her," she asked slowly. Giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle.

"I want to but fate keeps saying "Nah son." So I never get the chance." She rolled her eyes. Petting his hair seemed to help calm him down. His ears drooped a bit and his tail finally fell. The giggles slowly subsided until he fell silent, head resting on her lap, arms still clinging to her waist area. The motion helped to calm her down too. Gradually the blush faded and she worked up the nerve to softly ask, "If you get the chance, are you going to? Tell her that is." Chat smiled and nuzzled himself into her lap.

'As soon as I get the chance," he slurred out. Marinette swallowed once more but before she could reply, his head drooped all the way and the soft, even breathing revealed to her that the catnip had done its job; he was out cold. She smiled as she continued stroking his hair. When she was sure he wouldn't wake, she slowly moved him off of her, turning him around so that he could curl up more comfortably on her lounge, before sliding off and disappearing up to her bed to write about the experience in her diary.

Several hours later, one very embarrassed, red faced cat-themed superhero left a grateful note on Marinette's desk as she slept, disappearing quietly out of the window and into the night, praying silently that Ladybug really never did hear a word of what went between him and her.

Dear goodness! How was he even going to face her tomorrow!?

Chat groaned and vaulted over the next roof.

Plagg was never going to let him live this down.