3: What Can I Do For You?
One of the perks about being a super famous rock star was definitely the chance to make your own schedule. Well, not completely of course— there were still tours and shows and recording days he had to stick to. But otherwise, Greg could just hire people to take care of his finances and stuff, and spend the rest of his time chilling.
Most of that time he'd spent at the Palanquin. Blue had been taking on a human size more and more recently, and while he still adored her true form, he was taking advantage of the convenience of a size that allowed him to actually hold her hand. She could use the art book he'd gotten her easily, explore the forest without almost crushing trees and scaring animals away, go swimming in the river…
Oh, and they could kiss. Teaching her about that had been fun.
For now, though, they were just sprawled out on the grass, laying side-by-side, letting music from the stereo Greg had brought roll over them.
Greg's first instinct had been to bring nothing but rock, to share all his favourites. And while that did make up the bulk of the CDs he'd shipped, he'd tempered the urge a bit by realizing that he should let his new friends, who were literally aliens, discover all the musical diversity Earth had to offer. Modern K-Pop, 1920s jazz, musical theatre, the Blues, punk, rap… All of it. Greg had even tracked down some classical, even though most of that threatened to put him to sleep.
(Blue loved watching him sleep, so that wasn't all bad).
He turned to her as the last of the saxophone, guitar, and piano of the swing CD died away.
"So?" he asked. "What d'you think?"
Blue Diamond smiled at him. "It's lovely, especially for music not from Homeworld."
Greg's smile faltered a bit. That was a response to a lot of the songs he shared with her, to some degree or another, and it was getting… well. A little grating.
And not just music, either. Comments about how 'amusing' humans attempts at spaceflight were, or how charming their practice of keeping pets were, or how utterly fascinating their little beliefs were, and how they certainly had nothing like that back home…
"You… really miss Homeworld, huh?" Greg asked.
"Not… 'miss', precisely. Though aspects of it, most certainly."
"Like what?"
So she told him. Told him about the buildings, all perfectly clean and shiny, which shimmered like sunlight reflected off water. About the amazing performances, performed by dancers and acrobats which could perform feats that no human would ever be capable of. About the joy it was to talk with a Gem fresh out of the ground, eyes still filled with wonder for her new life. About the stunning views of space, filled with stars and rings and black holes and a million other phenomenon that human scientists hadn't even theorized about. The sheer thrill of discovery when you landed on a new planet, and unprecedented opportunity to reshape it any way one desired…
Greg listened, awestruck. Lying on the grass, staring up at the dimming sky, he could picture it all so perfectly. Part of him wanted nothing more than to stay in that moment forever.
But a different part made him sit up, look at Blue, and ask, "But… you do like it here, right?"
"Oh, yes!" Blue trilled. "Of course. It's all so quaint."
"Quaint," Greg repeated. It wasn't the first time he'd heard the word pass her lips, not by a long shot.
"You have buildings shorter than I am. I suppose that's to be expected, but it is adorable." Then Blue got up, and made her way to the stereo. "Let us listen to something else. I admit curiosity to your older music…"
Greg didn't move to help her.
Adorable. Cute. Silly. Sweet. Amusing.
He clenched his fists. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't. He had a good thing going with Blue. Maybe the best thing he'd ever had in his life. He didn't want to ruin it.
But… there was more than one way to ruin a relationship.
He stood up. "Blue?"
"Hm?" she said, not even looking up from the CDs.
Greg summoned his courage and asked, "I'm starting to wonder. Do you… respect me?"
Blue Diamond turned to him.
Looked him over.
And laughed.
It was a laugh like the tinkle of glass, and it sent shards plunging through Greg's heart.
"Oh. You really are so funny, Greg Universe."
"Blue—" Greg said, but she was already looking back down at the CDs. "Blue!"
"Yes?"
"Can you just talk to me for one second, like a real person?"
Blue Diamond glanced up again, a smile playing at her lips. "If you'd like."
Greg knew that tone. That was the tone that kindergarten teachers used on five year olds.
"You can't, can you?" Greg said, shaking his head.
Now there was puzzlement mixed in with her amusement. "Why, of course I can. Now come, we will listen to this one—"
"No," Greg said.
Blue stopped. She looked surprised. Shocked.
"No," Greg repeated. "We have to talk about this."
It was growing truly dark now, and in the twilight it was becoming harder and harder to read Blue's expressions. "About what?"
"This!" said Greg. "Us!"
A little ' tsk ' noise came out from the back of her throat. "I don't see why!"
"Well, I do!" Greg stepped forward, pulled the CD case from her hand, and let it fall to the ground. Looked her straight in the eyes, at those strange, diamond pupils.
"Greg Universe! You are being unreasonable!" she scolded. Scolded, like he was a misbehaving puppy.
" I am not being unreasonable!" Greg said— or, no, yelled, he was yelling now. "We need to talk about this, figure this out, as partners, or— or—"
"Or what?" Blue Diamond asked, voice cold, as he descended into stuttering.
"Or I'll go!"
The air turned chill.
Blue Diamond stared at Greg Universe, and said nothing.
He waited, and still she said nothing.
"F-fine," Greg said. "Fine."
Struggling not to cry, he held his head up high, turned around, and began to walk away.
There was a flash of blue light behind him, tempting him to look back, but he stayed resolute. Kept walking… and walking… and walking...
"Greg."
He stopped.
"Why?" Blue Diamond asked.
He turned around slowly. Blue Diamond was at her full height, towering over him, and at that angle, he could barely see her eyes. He asked, "What?"
"Why do you want to leave? Have we… not been having… fun?"
Greg stared, speechless.
"Answer me!" she demanded.
"Can you… really not tell?"
"Tell what? I do not understand!"
Greg thought that might have been the first admission of 'not understanding' something since he'd first met her.
"It's just… the way you talk about Earth," Greg said. "And the town, and the music, and…" Blue Diamond said nothing. Her expression did not shift. "I know you're an alien and you must have such amazing things from your home planet. But if it's so much better than Earth, then... maybe you should go back there."
Blue leaned forward a little, frowning. "I enjoy being here. I enjoy being with you."
"Well it sure doesn't feel like it!"
She looked nearly as surprised by the outburst as Greg was. But it was like a dam had broken free, and he couldn't stop the rush of words even if he'd wanted to. "You just— you act like I'm just some plaything! Like you're thousands and thousands of years older than me, and know more than I ever possibly could—
"But I am."
Greg's mouth opened and closed, opened and closed.
Well. Fine. Fine.
He stamped his foot, and turned tail. He didn't walk this time. He practically ran— he wished he'd never come here, had never met her in the first place—
But again Blue Diamond called out, and again Greg found himself stopping.
"I'm sorry, Greg."
Was she? Was she really? Was it possible from someone of a completely different species to truly understand another, to be sorry for the differences in their natures they couldn't help?
Greg didn't know. But he still turned back.
"I'm sorry," Blue repeated. "This is all... so new for me, it's all moving so quickly... I've never known any humans besides you…"
"Yeah. That's painfully obvious," Greg snapped.
"But— it's more than that. I've... I've never known any Gem like you, either. Who treats me how you do. No one's been so kind to me since... since…"
She began to cry, and the world was bathed in blue.
Sadness rushed over Greg, pure and unadulterated. The tears he'd been holding back came free; he could no longer bother to hold him back. How he could he do this to her? Leave her, when she'd already lost so much? All he wanted to do was run to her, hold her, comfort her.
He fought the urge. These feelings weren't his, not completely. Blue Diamond had a way of… broadcasting her emotions. She couldn't help it.
He'd seen Pearl dealing with it, a couple times already, tears rolling down her face. But even in the great depths of Blue's grief, he'd never been affected.
But for whatever reason, he was being affected now.
Blue wiped her tears away, refocused on the man in front of her. The blue light faded, and with it, the sadness.
Or… some of it. Greg's own pain remained.
Blue Diamond said, "You treat me like an equal."
"Because… we should be equals," Greg said. "I want us to be equals. But if… if we're not…" The tears that streamed down his face were all his own. "I don't see how this is gonna work."
Blue Diamond got down on her knees, crossed her legs. There wasn't a lot of room in the grove, but somehow she managed to fit, being careful not to get close to him, not to hurt him, to give some space.
"I want this to work," Blue said.
Greg nodded, mutely. But he knew just wanting wouldn't necessarily be enough.
He took a step closer. Even with her sitting down, he had to crane his neck to look at her properly.
He phrased the question delicately. "Have you ever… been in a relationship before?"
Blue Diamond tilted her head. "Like… what the two of us have?"
"Yeah."
"No," she answered.
"Oh." Greg tried again. "Have you ever… loved anybody else before?"
"Have you?"
"Yes," Greg said.
"Ah." Blue hesitated before giving her own answer. "I… do not know."
She must have though, Greg thought. She'd loved the other Diamonds, and still did. It was evident in the way she spoke about them.
But… was that romantic? Or something like family? Or friendship? Or something else altogether, something alien, that Greg could never hope to understand.
"I still don't quite understand what love entails," Blue admitted.
There were so many responses Greg could have given. So many sweet song lyrics, about love's beauty and gentleness and warmth.
But what he said was, "It's torture."
She jerked back. "What? That's terrible!"
"No! No it's not," Greg said hurriedly. "Love… love is wonderful, really. But it hurts. To— to care for someone so much, but to be afraid they don't care for you back—"
"But... I think I do care about you…"
"I don't know that, Blue! You- you don't really act like it."
She looked thoughtful. "I... see."
"I want to be with you, Blue. But only if we're equals."
There was a terrifying moment that seemed to stretch for an eternity.
Finally, Blue Diamond answered. "I'll... I'll try. I promise, I'll try. I'll try as hard as I can."
Greg let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "... okay. Okay."
They stood there, neither sure what to say next. What to do.
Greg was the first to move. He spotted the CD case, still sitting on the ground from where he'd tore it out of Blue's hands. He picked it up, but didn't put it on, instead placing it carefully next to the stereo.
Needed something more personal than that.
He pulled out his guitar, and sat down on the ground next to Blue Diamond, leaving a careful gap between him.
She motioned him closer. Greg hesitated.
"Only… only if you wish," Blue said.
Greg nodded, then shuffled in, probably staining his pants on the grass. That was fine. He came to rest right next to her massive leg. She was not warm like a human body, but cool, like a refreshing sea breeze.
He gave his guitar a brief tuning, and began to play.
When he was done, Blue told him it was the most beautiful song she had heard here, or on any other planet in the galaxy.
