Really quickly, I want to thank abby85 for pointing out my pronoun confusion in previous chapters. I don't really have an editor behind me on this, so forgive me if I make a couple of mistakes. anyway, thank you abby85 because I didn't want to leave any of my readers confused. I went through the previous chapters and made som edits. Go back and reread if you wish, but I don't think its anything too serious.
Now that that's aside, anyone ready for some mature content? Cause that's exactly what I have for you below, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, neither are any of the components, nor the characters
Chapter Seven, What Love Feels Like
Bella
I was sitting up in my bed, legs bent with a book resting in my lap, when I heard the soft tap at my window. Excepting it to be a bird, or a branch brushing against the glass, I actually jumped when I saw Edward sitting on my windowsill, a casual smile on his face.
"Good morning, Bella," he said softly.
I wasn't able to reply right away. Almost instantly, I realized that I was lying in bed wearing an oversized white mariner with no bra and the shortest pair of shorts I owned, in the color of black. I wondered if Edward seemed to notice this just as quickly as I did, because his gorgeous golden eyes rolled over my frame, stopping suggestively at my bust. I glanced down, and realized that the curves of my breasts were showing out of the sides slightly.
I blushed. "I only just came out of the shower," I told him.
"I know," Edward said with a grin. "Alice gave me the heads up."
"Alice?"
"She can see into the future," he explained calmly as he stepped into my bedroom. He was dressed just as casually as I was, wearing a simple dark green t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. "Some vampires have special gifts, and that's hers."
I glanced down at the exposed part of his legs, observing the defined muscles of his calves. "I don't think I've ever seen you in shorts before," I said out loud absently.
He shrugged. "I dressed down," he said casually. "I knew you just came out of the shower, after all."
"What were you saying about special gifts?" I asked him, my mind refocusing, and I recalled Jacob saying that he speculated Alice having the gift of foresight.
"Some vampires have special gifts," he repeated. "What I was saying about Alice is that she can see into the future. Well, she can see visions of the future, but the future's always changing. But her visions do come in handy."
Bravely, I asked, "Did she ever see something about you and I?"
Edward gave me a sly smile. "Actually, she did."
I blushed, gathering my knees in my arms, and holding them close to me. I liked the idea of Alice seeing into the future, and seeing me with Edward. I wondered what kind of things she saw; good things maybe?
"Do you have a special gift?" I asked Edward.
"Yes," he said. "I can read people's thoughts."
I recalled him saying that from the night before, somewhere between us going towards the meadow and collapsing together in a fit of passion. Now, with my mind cleared – somewhat – of said passion, I was now able to fully grasp the seriousness of what Edward was saying.
Read thoughts!
Can he read mine? Has he been reading mine all this time?
I could only imagine the various things I've thought while walking passed Edward Cullen over the months since I had first seen him. I could only imagine the things he must have heard from me as of late! Instantly I was transported back to the time when I had touched myself while Edward had been downstairs. Had he seen all of that in my mind as well?!
"Relax," Edward said, and I wondered if he had read my mind battling over him being able to read my mind. But then he said, "For whatever reason, I can't read your mind. Not sure why, but I've never been able to. You're the only one I've ever encountered whose mind I couldn't dip into."
I was surprised, yet very relieved. I wanted to keep my thoughts to myself, especially the ones that had to do with the very sexy Edward Cullen in front of me.
Although, Edward knowing my thoughts would have made it so much easier for him to realize what I had wanted from him in the meadow the night before. Before Jacob came and ruined everything. I know that if Jacob hadn't showed up, I certainly wouldn't have known how to vocalize to Edward that I wanted him to…
…fuck me.
"You know, most times I can read what you're thinking by your facial expression, so I don't need to read your mind" Edward was saying. "But I will admit, right now I haven't gotten the slightest clue what you could be thinking." I turned beet red at this point, which made Edward chuckle, "I'm guessing it has something to do with me though. I've learned that much from your blushing face."
I scoffed at his accuracy. "I don't always blush because of you."
"Maybe not always, but most of the time," he said with a grin.
I tried to steer the conversation in another direction: "Is it common for vampires to get a special gift?"
He seemed thoughtful for a moment, then said, "Well I think all vampires have something special, even if it's not something as obvious as mind-reading or seeing the future. For example, Esme has the greatest maternal instinct; so great that borders on unnatural for our kind. And Carlisle has the strongest control over his reactions to open blood, which is why he can be a doctor for humans." Edward stopped momentarily. "But I guess I would say it's more or less common, having a gift. Three in five vampires maybe? Jasper has one too, he can monitor, alter, impose and control emotion."
"That would be three in six in your family's case then," I said cleverly.
Edward smiled at me, warmly, and I felt myself melting. "Right you are."
I noticed at this point that Edward was just standing in my room. There was my desk chair that he could sit on, or my bed. I hoped for the latter, but then realized that Edward could not read my mind and tell so. So in my bravest whisper, I asked, "Do you want to sit down?"
He scrutinized me for a moment, then turned towards my desk chair. I gasped, "Not there!"
He looked back at me, his eyebrow raised. "This is the chair," he said in an obvious tone.
I could feel my face burning as the blood rushed to my cheeks, but still I said: "You can sit on my bed." Then I added, "To be more comfortable."
Edward ran a hand over his ruffled bronze hair. "You sure?"
I pulled my legs even closer to advertise more space on my bed. Edward seemed hesitant as he came towards me, but at least he was coming. Every step he took made my heart flutter wildly, and by the time he actually sat on my bed, inside I was going crazy.
Edward, in my bedroom, on my bed.
And it was Sunday morning: Charlie was off fishing somewhere like he usually did.
Edward, in my bedroom, on my bed, in my empty house.
"Thanks for coming," I murmured, fiddling with my drying hair to cool my nerves.
"I said I would," Edward told me. "Did you think I wouldn't come?"
I shrugged with uncertainty. "I can't ever tell with you. I mean, two weeks ago you wanted nothing to do with me. And then last night, we…" my voice trailed off, as I felt my cheeks burning again.
Edward smiled in a way that comforted me. "I didn't mean to be so dual personality with you. Forgive me, but I've never felt this way about anyone before, human or otherwise. I'm learning slowly how to handle this situation, and I admit, I made a couple of mistakes in doing so."
I was still stuck on 'never felt this way about anyone before'. My mind flashbacked on my dream, and Edward telling me that he loved me. 'Never felt this way about anyone before' was pretty close to 'I love you', wasn't it?
I smiled with joy that my thoughts brought me. "What?" Edward asked me curiously. "What are you thinking?"
I looked him playfully. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I said teasingly.
He frowned, but not in a serious way. "That's not fair."
"Reading people's minds definitely isn't fair to that person's mind. No one else can read people's mind. I hear unfair advantage." I folded my arms. "With me, you'll learn how to play fair."
"Or I could just tickle it out of you or something."
He had said it so casually, that I hadn't been expecting him to be serious. But in the next instant, I found myself beneath Edward while his fingers danced along my sides. And I was incredibly ticklish, so I writhed and giggled at his every touch. He was laughing too, while still trying to ask me what I had been thinking.
"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!" I cried out in defeat.
Edward stopped tickling me, but he didn't move away. Our bodies were just as close as they had been the night before, and he looked at me intensely, amber eyes smoldering. For a moment, I was caught up in his gaze, and forgot whatever I was supposed to be telling him.
I think Edward might have forgotten too, because his eyes flickered down to my mouth, then met my eyes again. He inched closer, and I moved to meet him. Our lips touched, softly but surely. Edward's hand found the back of my head as he urged me even closer, deepening our kiss.
Even though I still felt the same fire from last night, none of those hurried actions were present here. Edward moved slowly and with certainty. His free hand travelled down the side of my body, over my hips and down my thighs. Grabbing it firmly, he moved my leg over so that he could shift on top of me. All of this, and he never broke our passionate kiss.
My arms had been around his neck, but they slipped away, and my hands went down to the hem of his shirt. Tentatively, I started pulling the shirt up. I had expected resistance from his part, but Edward moved away, breaking our kiss temporarily, so I could remove the shirt completely.
My heart was beating wildly, I could barely hear my breathing. Edward looked at me with more intensity than ever before, his eyes blazing. I tried to steady myself, but my hands were shaking as I went for the hem of my own top, and slowly began pulling that off as well.
Edward kept his eyes on my face the whole time, even as I now lay beneath him with my entire upper body exposed. But the hand that was on my thigh, had moved up my stomach, fingers walking up my skin towards my breast. His cool touch made me shiver as he cupped my right breast softly. At that exact moment, he tucked his head into the crook of my neck, and I felt his tongue dancing against my flesh, while his hand massaged my breast gently.
My back arched, and I heard a moan leave my throat. My body rippled with lovely sensations, as Edward continued to pleasure me. His touch was soft, but so powerful regardless. I felt completely breathless when his kiss moved away from my neck and went to my other breast, his lips closing around my nipple. He suckled me tenderly, and I ran my fingers through his hair, grabbing fistfuls from the waves of pleasure I was getting.
"Edward," I breathed.
Edward kissed his way back to my mouth, then murmured, "Yes Bella?"
I whispered, "My dad isn't home."
He let out a low chuckle, and I felt him smiling against my chin. "I figured as much."
My breathing was getting heavy, and I took his hands – both were now working my breasts as he loved my jaw with his mouth – and moved them down to my elastic band of my shorts. Once I felt him hold onto it, I began to pull them down, watching myself as I did so. Now I lay in just my pink panties. When I finally braved a glance up at Edward, his eyes were like a golden fire.
I tried to speak, "I want–"
"I know what you want," Edward said with a smile.
He kissed my forehead, my cheek, and then kissed a path down my stomach to my belly button. His hands had found the band of my underwear without my help this time, and he pulled that down as well, slowly. As they came down passed my knees, I watched Edward moved down passed my belly button.
My heartbeat was crazy at what I knew had to be coming next.
He nudged my legs apart easily, and then I felt his tongue against my heat. I squealed at the touch, and tried to inch away to recover from the sensation, but instead, Edward held my waist firmly as he delved further with his tongue. I squirmed and writhed with pleasure as Edward's tongue worked against my flesh. He dipped and darted in and out of my folds, and danced over my clit, driving me up the wall. I found myself crying out in passion, grabbing fistfuls of sheet and moving myself against his touch. My bottom lip quivered, and my body trembled with an oncoming orgasm. Edward stayed against me, tongue everywhere, and then he dropped one of his hands to my center, dipping two fingers inside me.
OhgodOhgodOhgodOhgod.
My back arched and I bit my bottom lip hard, shivering and shaking with ecstasy. Edward's fingers pushed in and out of me, as his tongue continued to flick over me, and I felt as if I was about to explode…
…and I did: loudly, violently, and it left my body shaking.
I felt Edward kissing my inner thigh, softly, tenderly. I tried to steady my breathing, but I was just still so wrapped up in post-orgasm. I was back on that cloud, expect this time the sun was beaming down on me, and I was warmed all over. When I felt Edward's lips on mine, I almost didn't have the energy to kiss him back. But I received a surge from deep within, just strong enough for me to return the gesture.
"Felt good?" he asked me in a whisper.
Did he have to ask? Didn't he see me quivering with extreme delight? Couldn't he tell that he had pleasured my body in ways I didn't even know possible?
"Yes," I managed finally.
He kissed my forehead. "Good."
Edward
I felt incredibly successful, like a king. I knew I had made Bella feel wonderful, and just hearing her say it out loud made it that much better. She was looking up at me with a glazed over expression, and her breathing was still unsteady. I ran a hand through her silk dark mane, and nuzzled my nose in it. It was better than I imagined – the softness, and the sweet smell of lavender filling my nose.
Bella moved closer to me, her nose against my chest. I put my arms around her, burying my nose even deeper into her sweet scent.
She was moving her legs to turn closer to me, when I felt her thigh brush against me. Or more importantly, her thigh brushed against my pulsating erection. My eyes closed automatically and I let out a soft groan, that didn't go unnoticed by Bella.
Two seconds ago she looked ready to drift off into post-orgasmic sleep, but now she was alert all over again.
"Edward," she said softly.
"Don't worry about it," I told her quickly. "It's nothing."
I couldn't read her mind, but I didn't need a mind-reader to know what she wanted now. While it had been a pleasure to go down on Bella – she tasted amazing, and better than anything I could have dreamed up – I had also done it in hopes to distract her from what she really wanted.
And from what I wanted myself.
"Edward," she said, more insistently. "Edward, I–"
"Bella, please, don't worry about it."
"But it's okay," she said quickly. "I want to."
And fuck, I really wanted to as well. In fact, I had thought about this so much that I spent the whole night last night with a hand on my rod and my mind on Bella. Then this morning, when Alice told me Bella was in the shower, my imagination left needed to clutch myself yet again. And I knew, none of the masturbation and imagination would compare to the real thing. Bella's body was more flawless than I had imagined – a perfect swell of her breast in a supple size, a flat stomach and soft, touchable legs. And when I had had my fingers inside her, I was treated to a delicious incomparable warmth.
But to actually carry out the deed – I couldn't trust myself to do all of that. I didn't know what would happen once I allowed myself to get completely engrossed in everything she had to offer. How would the animal in me respond?
Possibly not well.
Bella reached up to kiss me, and I couldn't deny her, but when I felt her hands go down to my jeans zipper, I had to turn away. "Bella, don't."
"But I want to Edward," she said quietly. She undid my button, and I wanted to stop her, but couldn't. "It can be risky, and I know that, but I also know you won't hurt me."
As she pulled down my zipper, her fingers grazed over my throbbing member. I inhaled deeply, biting my bottom lip. "You know I won't?" I echoed gruffly out of the corner of my mouth.
"Yes," she said, but her voice quavered.
"You're afraid," I stated. I had heard it in her voice.
"Well," Bella cleared her throat, and when I glanced down at her face, it was red as a fire hydrant. "You're huge," she stated simply.
I had to chuckle at that. "Does that come with being a vampire too?" she asked me.
"Maybe I'm just well endowed," I said casually.
"If that's what you want to call it." Her eyes fluttered shyly back up to meet mine, and she kissed me lightly on the mouth. "I'm not afraid," she told me, and now her voice sounded sure. "Maybe intimidated. But not afraid."
"Why aren't you afraid?" I asked her softly.
"Because I trust you," she said in a voice just as soft.
The words had such a soothing effect over me, that I smiled at her. In the next instant, we were kissing again: soft, deep, passionate kisses that I could feel in every inch of me. Even though my rod was free, my jeans were still on, so I removed them from my body. But not without taking my wallet out of my back pocket.
I parted from Bella just long enough to rifle through the wallet and pull out a condom. I didn't think my seed contained anything that could induce pregnancy, but I wanted to be safe than sorry. And I wanted Bella to trust me, and I knew that condoms were a big sign of trust. Good thing Emmett gave this to me, even if it was just as a joke.
I opened the condom wrapper and rolled the rubber on slowly. Bella watched me anxiously, and I could feel hear her heart beating wildly. I positioned myself back on top of her, meeting her intense gaze head on. Her chocolate eyes were blazing, and while I could feel some fear in her, it was overpowered by trust, need, and desire.
The very same things I felt towards her as well.
"Trust me?" I found myself asking, in a thick, hoarse voice. I was positioned right by her entrance, ready to enter, but not without absolute consent.
"Yes," she said with certainty. "I trust you always Edward."
I kissed her gently, tongue meeting hers easily. She moaned in my mouth as I pushed myself inside her. God, she was tight and moist. And so fucking warm: I felt my eyes roll back behind my closed lids. I just held myself inside her at first, simply enjoying the feel of her encasing my shaft. Bella squirmed beneath me, moving herself slowly against my rod, whimpering sweetly as she did so.
I indulged in her motions, with slow, fluid strokes. I placed my hands on both sides of her head, holding onto the pillow for balanced as I moved in and out of her. Bella's face was scrunched with pleasure, and she moaned softly. I loved the sound of my name as it left her lips in an erotic whisper. Her hands went to my shoulders, and she dug her fingers into my body. It didn't hurt – on a regular basis, it probably wouldn't have registered to me at all – but it made me growl in appreciation. I could feel the need to ravish her trying to come over me, but I resisted it the best I could.
Still, I didn't know how much longer I could resist. Bella felt too fucking good: the snugness of her fit, the warmth of her body, the moistness of her cave. Even the rise and fall of her breasts as she lost control of her breath drove me crazy. She was moaning loudly, like she had done before, and I could feel her body starting to quiver again. She was close, clenching around me without knowing. The clenching tightened her fit further, making me growl aloud – "Jesus, Bella." – just as she came to her first climax.
I wanted her to have another, and increased my pace, only by a bit, one I could still control. She reacted instantly to my increase, moving her hips in a way to meet my strokes. It heightened the already incredible sensations I was getting from her. I bit my bottom lip, and continued to rock into her, and soon felt my own body shaking. Bella kept moving against me, her eyelids fluttering wildly as she cried out repeatedly in ecstasy, singing an erotic song with my name in the chorus. It pushed me forward, heightened my desire to please her. But even as I worked to please her, I felt myself coming to my own climax.
Then I felt the clenching, and I found myself stuttering out Bella's name. Bella's grip on my shoulders tightened, which illicit another groan from my throat. I thrust into her deeper, harder, longer, bringing us both to our brinks. I felt her climax again just before a growl of satisfaction left me and I felt seed bursting free from me.
Bella was panting, and it was adorable. Though I was more than satisfied, I wasn't exhausted – vampire perks I suppose. So I watched Bella, her skin glistening with sweat droplets, the heavy rise and fall of her supple breast, her parted soft lips as she tried to regulate her breathing.
Slowly, I pulled myself from her – regrettably, because I thoroughly enjoyed the warmth she gave – and laid my back. I was certain that if I was still human, I would be just as out of breath as Bella was, and in desperate need of a nap or a cigarette. Even so, I still felt gratified beyond belief – better than I could have dreamt up, sweeter than anything I had ever felt. Maybe even better than quenching thirst.
Bella's breath had finally calmed, and I heard her whisper, "Felt good?"
I smiled, turning to face her. She had already turned herself to face me. "It felt perfect," I told her.
"Took the words right out of my mouth," Bella said, mirroring my smile. She moved closer to me, until our noses were touching. The gesture was so sweet, so intimate, that I felt my smile growing further. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?" I whispered.
"For this," she said. "For everything. For giving me this chance."
I placed my hand on the side of her face, gently stroking her cheek. "Thank you," I said. "For not giving up on this chance."
Bella
It was Wednesday afternoon, and still felt somewhat sore from the weekend, but I kept my walk as natural as possible. I approached Alice, who was sitting at the Cullens usual lunch table, as coolly as I could and asked, "Will you come with me after school, to Walgreens?"
"Sure," she said. "Anything wrong?"
"No, I just need to pick up some stuff, and I don't want to go by myself," I said shyly.
"Well, sure I'll come with you," she said with a smile.
"Great."
I turned around, and jumped back instantaneously – Edward was standing right there, an amused smirk on his face. "What's at Walgreens?" he asked me curiously.
I blushed, and glanced away from him. "Just stuff."
"Aw." He touched my hair softly, curling a few strands around his pointer finger. "You can't even tell me?"
"You'll find out," I said teasingly, pulling his finger from my hair.
His smirk became a full smile, just before he placed a light kiss on my lips. Then he turned to Alice, and narrowed his eyes. "Don't you say anything."
"Oh brother dear," Alice said smugly, her expression matching her tone. "I don't need to say anything. You and I both know that."
Edward rolled his eyes, and I looked between him and Alice. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Oh nothing," Alice said casually. "I'll see you after school, right?"
"Right," I said.
"Lunch off campus?" Edward asked me.
"Sure," I said softly.
He took my hand firmly – I hardly shivered from the cold – and led us out of the cafeteria. Everyone who was already sitting down looked at us blatantly, expression ranging from curiosity, to surprise, to straight shock and awe. None of the looks fazed me: all that mattered was Edward and I.
Once we were in the hallway, he turned around and took me playfully by the waist, pulling me close. "I'm hurt that you're taking Alice to Walgreens, and won't take me," he said in a mock sad voice. "And then you won't even tell me what it's all for."
"I said you'll see," I told him.
"You sure there's no way I can wriggle it out of you?"
I smiled, titling my head closer to his. "Well I sure wouldn't mind it if you tried," I said softly.
"Meadow?" he said in a gravelly tone.
"Meadow," I said with a grin. "But feed me first, won't you?"
He chuckled. "Can do."
*
Alice and I walked down the aisles of Walgreens, while I examined all the shelves. Alice followed behind me quietly, but the smirk on her face showed that she definitely knew what I was looking for. I was happy that she wasn't saying anything about it, because I wasn't completely comfortable about vocalizing the whole thing just yet. But when we finally approached the correct section, I found myself uncertain.
Finally, I turned to silent Alice. She now had her nose buried in a magazine, but looked up and took in her surroundings at where we had stopped. I glanced to our my right, and she went, "Oh, figures. You both have been glowing like crazy."
I blushed furiously. "There's a problem."
Suddenly she seemed worried. "Was there an accident?" she asked me.
"No!" I said quickly. "No, no, I just…" I paused. "Well, I don't know much about…" I stopped again. "Don't laugh, but I just can't tell which are the right ones to buy."
"You could have let Edward buy them," Alice said casually.
"I know," I said with a shrug. "But I always told myself, once I started–" another pause "–you know–" pause "–I would keep my own pack, just to be responsible."
"Make sense, very responsible," Alice said with a nod. Then a flicker of understanding appeared in her eyes. "Hang on, Eddie was your first?" she asked.
I blushed a deeper red. "Yeah."
"Wow," Alice said. "Huh, does he know that?"
"Well I didn't say it out loud. But maybe, he could tell?"
Alice snorted. "I doubt Eddie knew more about sex than you did at that moment."
"Are you trying to say that he–?"
"Well maybe he wasn't a virgin – it is possible that he had done it before he changed. But that was over a hundred years ago, and I promise, he hasn't done anything of the sort since then. And like I said, it's only possible that something happened before his changing."
"Right," I said quietly. "Well," I looked up at the row. "Do you know which one of these has condoms in a gold wrapper?"
Alice laughed, only once, but quite loud. "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie," she said, shaking her head. Then she reached for a small black box. She handed them to me. "Magnums," Alice said casually, "is what you're looking for."
I blushed. I might not have known the box, but I certainly knew the story behind 'Magnums'. It's fitting, I thought. Edward took big to a new level. I can't even recall if this condom rolled all the way down! "Thanks," I said.
"You know," Alice said. "I'll buy them for you, if you don't want to face down the cashier."
I smiled brightly. "Thanks, but I do have to get used to this, don't I? I just wasn't sure I'd know which was which."
"And you just assumed I would know?" Alice said, pretending to be offended. "You know, vampires don't usually use condoms. Bodies frozen in time means no pregnancy threat. And impervious to all means no STDs."
"And yet, you still knew which was which," I said with a knowing smirk.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Be quiet Bella."
I saw the sixth Harry Potter movie over the weekend... it was alright, not much action but very funny though =)
Really busy this week with work, so I will try my best to update soon. I'll be working hard in all my spare time.
I hope you liked this, and it made for good readings. Review please! I would love that very much!
--Brin--
