Anthony & Lucy - December 1814

The night of their engagement ball had been one of those memories that would last a lifetime. They had managed to slip back into the ball without anyone being any the wiser, and the night finished off strong. Both Lucy and Anthony were happier than they had ever been before and it showed. The next week seemed to pass both quickly and agonizingly slow. Since their tryst at the ball, every time they were near each other they had to force themselves to keep their hands off of each other, they were just counting down the days until they could be together whenever they wanted.

Their last visit together was two days before the wedding, as Mrs. Bridgerton believed a bride and groom shouldn't see each other the whole day before the wedding. Lucy was extremely nervous, she didn't like to be the centre of attention and she had never even been to a wedding in the 1800s (obviously) so she really wasn't sure what to expect. Mrs. Bridgerton had planned most things, asking Lucy's opinion here and there, but Lucy was more than happy to have her take the reins. That night when Lucy retired to what was currently her bedroom for the very last time, she felt like sleep would never come. She was too excited and nervous to try and sleep so she had thought of trying that puzzle one last time, but she was spared from doing so when Mrs. Bridgerton knocked on her door and came in with two steaming cups of tea.

"Good-evening Lucy, I thought you might like something to settle your nerves."

"Thank-you, come in." Lucy said, stepping aside to let her pass.

"I'm afraid it may take more than a nice cup of tea to settle my nerves however." Lucy said following her over to the chairs and taking a seat and her mug from Violet.

"Oh my dear, this is no regular cup of tea." Violet told her with a wink. Lucy took a tentative sip and sighed as she allowed the hot toddy to warm her.

"Thank-you, this is perfect." Violet simply tilted her head in a graceful nod as a response as she swallowed her own sip.

"Well" Violet cleared her throat and sat up straighter. "As you have already been married, I know that you do not need the typical talk that mothers have with their daughters before their wedding night, but as it was not a particularly long marriage I thought you might have some...questions or worries that I may be able to help you with." Lucy reached out and grabbed Violet's hand. Outward affection like this wasn't common practice in these times, but Lucy wasn't from these times and if she had learned anything from the Bridgerton's it was that it was best to be unapologetically herself, and that meant showing her affection when she felt it.

"Thank-you, it truly means a lot to me. I never got to have my mother at my wedding and although my father re-married and my step-mother was lovely, I didn't get a chance to really know her either before she...well none of that matters now. But thank-you...I am nervous." Lucy admitted, taking her hand back and taking a sip of her tea for bravery, and to mask the guilt that always cropped up when she was forced to lie to the Bridgerton's.

"I am sorry you have experienced so much loss, and at such a young age, it is truly unfair." Violet told her earnestly, showing all of the motherly concern she possessed.

"It will be hard to go through tomorrow without my parents or my brother, but having your family there eases the pain a little, you have raised some incredible people Mrs. Bridgerton, and I feel incredibly thankful to be loved by one of them." Lucy told her honestly. She had been thinking of this very thing for a while now. She may not have been the bride that dreamed about her wedding when she was a little girl or the bride that spent hours picking out colours, napkins and decorations, but she had always thought that her wedding day would be full of memories of her father giving her away, dancing a father daughter dance with him, listening to her dad give a heart-warming speech about his little girl and laughing and dancing the night away with her family. It was hard knowing that she would have none of that on her wedding day, and as the event approached it weighed heavier on her heart with each day that passed.

"Please, we are family, call me Violet." She reminded Lucy again. "And thank-you, that is very kind of you to say, and I think I can accurately speak for the family when I say that you are loved by all of us. You are the exact kind of woman I wanted my son to find, and I cannot thank you enough for bringing the life back into Anthony. I can only hope that my other children will be as lucky to find a person as well suited for them as you are for Anthony." Violet said kindly and making Lucy's heart swell.

"Why is it that you still look uncertain? Do you not believe me?" Violet asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"No! no it isn't that, I have been trying to find a way to put what has been worrying me into a question is all." Lucy chewed her lip nervously in a very improper manner.

"Just talk me through your thoughts then, there is no need for any formalities here."

"O.k. Well, I'm not worried about our wedding night or...that aspect of our marriage, or even the friendship and companionship part. I know that the bond Anthony and I have will make that relatively easy, but there's a part of a marriage that I have never done and it's important and I am just...worried about the experience." Although Violet had said there was no need for formalities Lucy didn't feel exactly comfortable talking about child bearing with her, which was what she had been worrying about, but who else could she talk to about it?

"I am afraid I am not entirely sure what you mean." Violet said slowly, trying to work out what Lucy had said.

"Well, not to put too fine a point on it...having children, or rather the pregnancy part." Lucy admitted. If she were back in her time and getting married, children would of course be on her radar, but she would be heavily monitored by a doctor, get ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy, and have a safe delivery in the hospital. That wasn't the case here, and it frightened her to no end, she didnt want to leave her child motherless like she had been. It hadn't been a thought up until the night of their engagement ball when Anthony came inside of her, but once it was on her mind, she hadn't been able to shake it. She didn't think she was ovulating, but, without using a condom, which didn't exist yet, accidents could still happen and she finally thought about how scary it was to be pregnant in this time. She wanted children, and Anthony had made it very clear that he did as well, but she was scared.

"Oh, that...can be a tricky subject." Violet said, choosing her words carefully.

"I want children of course, I love children, but it is the actual pregnancy and delivery that I am frightened of."

"You know how children are born?" Violet asked, furrowing her brow. Lucy had become so besotted by Anthony and their engagement that she was finding it hard to conceal that she was not from this time. If she were, she wouldn't know how babies came into the world. She could explain away her knowledge on sex and getting pregnant with the fact that she had been married, but as she had never had a child, she shouldn't know the finer points of it.

"Yes, as you know I am from a military family and I was not as sheltered as fine young women are. We had a married housemaid with child and I saw her belly grow over time, heard her complain of her aches and pains from it and she delivered at our house. I wasn't supposed to be near by of course but...I was young." Lucy said quickly, recounting the time that her neighbour who babysat her and her brother everyday after school went into labour at their house and their mom had to call an ambulance when she got home. She hoped that her half true story was believable, even if she was going to be Anthony's wife her secret had to remain a secret.

"I see, well I cannot fault your curiosity of course. Being with child is...well it is incredible. It is very scary of course, and that does not change no matter how many times you find yourself with child, but growing a human and feeling your body change to fit them and form them does take some of that fear away. Giving birth is much the same. Unfortunately there is not much that I can say to ease your mind as you cannot truly comprehend it until you experience it, but I can assure you that when the time comes you will have the utmost support from your husband, and your family." Lucy nodded and let out a breath, and with it the rest of the thoughts that were plaguing her.

"I also just don't want to disappoint Anthony."

"Oh my dear, every man wants a son to carry on the family name, and in our case the title, but he is very much his father's son, and Edmund had wanted daughters just as much as sons. Anthony will be happy with whatever child you give him." This was cause for concern too as Lucy knew how important it was for men in this time to have sons, but she was more concerned that while she is tired and her body changes throughout pregnancy she won't be able to be the person he fell in love with and do all of the things with him that he spoke of doing once married, like actually learning to ride a horse etc. and Lucy told her just that. Violet smiled at her and leaned forward and grabbed her hand just as Lucy had done earlier.

"My dear girl you needn't trouble yourself with those thoughts as I know Anthony would never expect such things of you. He will be delighted to watch you grow his child. Edmund loved when I was with child, he would speak to my belly, rub it, and spend even more time with me than he did when I was not carrying a child. It is true that that is not common of husbands, or expected of them, but the Bridgerton's are a family led by love and Edmund thought that showing mother and child that love, even before they were born, was the proper way to lay the foundation of that babe's life. He lived like that because his father had done so, and according to him that was just as his grandfather had done as well. So, rest assured, I have no doubts that Anthony will be the same. The Bridgerton's, especially the men, love fiercely, thrive off of a challenge, and have no shame in others knowing both of those things. And believe me when I say, your love changes when you both come together and create a life, it becomes stronger. You will not disappoint him, if anything you will just make him fall further in love with you." Lucy gave her a watery smile and nodded, feeling much more at ease than she did earlier on in the week.

"Well, it is getting late and you will need to be up early to prepare for your big day so, I will take my leave I think." Violet said finally, releasing Lucy's hand and putting her empty cup down on the table and standing. Lucy walked her to the door and bid her a good night. She climbed into bed and blew out the candles, but her mind wasn't quite ready to settle. She thought about her life, all of the happy moments, all of the sad ones and all of the moments yet to come. Her life was quite unusual and she knew better than anyone that you couldn't predict what was to come, but Lucy knew without a doubt that when she walked down that aisle the next morning, she was walking into the last chapter of her life. She knew that no matter what happened, she would never love another man, she would never experience the wonders of life with anyone but Anthony, and she would never look back and wish things were different, she was going to live out her days as a Bridgerton. With that, and a smile on her face, Lucy finally drifted to sleep. That night would be the last night in her own bed, in this room and as a single woman, and Lucy couldn't be more excited for what was yet to come.

The following morning, Anthony awoke full of excitement, he felt positively giddy, something that he never expected to feel on his wedding day. He dressed in a simple morning suit and headed straight for Bridgerton house, too jittery to eat. He figured his family was most likely still sleeping, but he didn't want to spend the morning alone so he figured he would wake his brothers and annoy them for a little while.

As soon as he walked in the house he was greeted by Wickham, whose day must start ridiculously early, and he had barely finished his greeting when his mother appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Anthony!" She hissed. "What on earth are you doing here?" She asked, hurrying down the stairs towards him. Anthony bumped a kiss onto her cheek despite the chastising.

"I am getting ready for the wedding here mother." He told her, although he knew she was already aware of this as she had planned most of it.

"Yes I know, but I assumed it would at least be after morning tea when Lucy is off getting ready, you must not see Lucy yet!" He smiled warmly at his mother and her superstitions.

"I apologise mother, I will go directly to Benedict's chambers and maybe Wickham could tell the kitchens to bring the tea service for us up there?" Anthony said to his mother, and to Wickham over her shoulder. He immediately bowed and said of course, and strode off to the kitchens. Violet smiled, satisfied for the moment, and pat Anthony's cheek.

"I shall accompany you so that if Lucy does start to come out of her room I can redirect her -"

"Mother that is not necessary, I assure you. I am fast, if her door starts to open I can get by unnoticed, now settle yourself. Take yourself down to tea and try and relax, there is lots of excitement to be had today." Violet studied him intently for a moment and then nodded with a sigh.

"Very well, I shall see you in a few hours." She said, smiling brightly. Anthony kissed his mother on the cheek again before heading up the stairs. He wanted to keep his word to his mother, but he also desperately wanted to speak to Lucy, so he waited until his mother was out of sight and he went to Lucy's door. He knocked and a split second later he heard her nervous voice call 'Enter'. He could picture her pacing nervously in her room and all he wanted to do was comfort her, but instead he just pushed the door open a crack so that she could hear him.

"I will not come in my Lady, I just wanted to hear your voice." Anthony whispered.

"Oh, Anthony! I have wanted to see you all morning!" she gushed, making him smile.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, his smile still in his voice as he noted it was still quite early in the morning.

"Yes! incredibly nervous." She laughed, sounding closer to the door than she had been when he knocked. She was so close that Anthony could smell her, he wanted to push the door open and take her into his arms, but he would be strong for his mother's sake and wait the few hours until the wedding, and then she would be in his arms for good.

"Are you?" She asked softly.

"Oh terribly nervous! my heart his racing." He admitted. Lucy chuckled and Anthony thought he could hear her nerves calming at his admission.

"I am looking forward to forever with you." He said softly.

"Me too." She replied, her tone matching his. Anthony swallowed back his desire before speaking again.

"Well, if my mother catches me here forever would not be very long so I had better move on, I just wanted to hear your voice." He thought he heard Lucy smile and his heart skipped a beat and he wondered how long her smile would do that to him.

"I'll meet you at the alter." She said happily. Then, Anthony closed the door softly and went to bang on Colin's door to get him up.

* End of chapter *

Disclaimer: I own none of the above characters, they are all creations of Julia Quinn (with the exception of OC Lucy McCoy)