Chapter 22 - Memories

A week had passed.

Life quickly resumed for everyone.

There was still no sign of Toru.

Tomo sat in math class while his mind wandered. Mr. Ectoplasm shot him a knowing look that said he knew Tomo wasn't paying attention, but left it at that. Tomo couldn't find it in himself to really care.

He had been thinking a lot in the past week. The emptiness whenever he thought of her came and went at random times, but slowly, a desperate need to do something was growing within Tomo.

He had spent a few nights actually sleeping under Mr. Aizawa's watchful eyes, but he knew this wasn't permanent. Each night he spent wide awake was another night of contemplating Darkness. His Quirk got a whole lot more talkative ever since their meeting and Tomo was growing unsure of himself if his decision to ignore the power was correct.

Soon enough, the bell rang and it was time for lunch. Like every other day since classes began again, one of his classmates, usually Kirishima, dragged Tomo by the arm to the cafeteria. Also just as usual, Tomo had to ignore the plethora of confrontation he got as he walked through the halls of UA. He endured plenty of shoulder bumps, whispers, and looks, but couldn't find the energy to really care. His mind was always elsewhere.

The kids of Class 1-A sat in their usual groups and began their usual chatter. There was a level of normalcy within the air as they ate. It was as if it was just another school day and nothing big was going on in their lives. Tomorrow morning, they would begin a class to help prepare them for an upcoming provisional licensing exam.

Tomo, meanwhile, found his thoughts wandering. All he could think about was Toru. Where was she? Was she ok? What is she doing? Is she safe? Does she want to come back home? When would she reveal herself to them? Would it be at the exam?

"What do you think, Tomo?"

Tomo turned to Kirishima, who looked at him expectantly with a smile. He repeated his question, "What do you think our special class is about?"

Tomo could feel a shift in the tension of the table as the eyes turned towards him. It was very subtle, but there nonetheless.

Tomo shrugged, silence being his answer, and looked back down at his notebook again.

He missed the look of concern his classmates at the table gave each other.


That evening, a few of his classmates visited Tomo's room. The usual duo of Kirishima and Ashido were noticeably absent from the crowd this time, but Tomo figured they would come later. He eyed his guests with a look barely resembling acknowledgement. He had an idea of their opinion of him and Toru.

"Uh hey…" Sato began awkwardly. "How are you holding up?"

Tomo shrugged in response. He had already mentally checked out of the conversation after reading the awkward tension in the air.

"We came here to… apologize… for how we've been treating you," said Kaminari while giving a look to the others to continue.

"Yeah. I'm sorry that I didn't believe you when you said you didn't know. The look on your face the past week says enough. I believe you now and want to help however I can," said Sero.

"Yeah, we're sorry," said Jiro quietly. "If there's anything we can do to help…"

"Leave," said Tomo immediately without a hint of an emotion in his voice.

He didn't have to look at their faces to see the shock and sadness. He didn't care. He wanted to be left alone.

"Oh… Ok. Sorry."

They all left the room and closed the door. Tomo watched them as they left. Jiro gave him a small smile before gently shutting the door behind her. Tomo continued staring at the door, an irrational part of his mind hoping that Toru would come in through it if he stared long enough.

She never came.

He sat like that for the rest of the evening.

At 10 P.M., Tomo got a text. The naive, irrational, and hopeful part of him prayed it was from Toru. When he opened his phone, he saw a simple goodnight text from his younger sister, Miyu.

Tomo sighed.

He knew his mother and sister were just a small walk away, living together on campus, but separated from the twins. Tomo looked at the wall in front of him with a frown, the stupid argument with his mom repeating in his head on loop. A part of him wanted to go back home and stay with his remaining family, but another part of him couldn't bear to face his mother after failing her on such a colossal level. His shame continued to win out as Tomo gave Miyu a quick reply and then continued his existence in his dark room. The only way he could face them again was after bringing Toru back with him. Until then, Tomo felt he didn't deserve the comfort of family.

When the voices of his Quirk started speaking again loudly at midnight, Tomo buried his head in his arms. Another long night awaited him.


Before their training class began, Mr. Aizawa pulled Tomo aside.

"Listen," he began quietly. "I know you're the kind of guy to appreciate honesty so I'll be straight with you. There's been a lot of talk, both within and outside the school as to whether or not you should be allowed to take this exam. Because there is no direct evidence hinting against your allegiance to us, you're being allowed to participate in the licensing exam. However, I am warning you. While most people don't know you by face, many will recognize your uniform and your name, should it ever be mentioned. You will get looks and resistance from the other participants in the exam. My question to you is, do you want to still do this? You don't have to. You can take the exam next year, when things get better and die down, like you were originally supposed to."

Tomo shrugged. "I don't really care what others think of me. I guess there's no problem taking this exam if it's something I have to do anyway."

Mr. Aizawa sighed. "Alright, I can understand that, but there's another troublesome part to this. If you want to still be a hero, public reputation matters a lot in our society. While I agree that you shouldn't care what others think of you, that stuff does matter to an extent. Making connections with your peers is important at events like these. If they all hate your guts, fixing that impression will take a lot of effort on your end. If you ignore that side of being a hero, then you won't get very high up. Are you okay with that?"

Tomo shrugged again. "Whatever. I'll just become an underground hero like you then. I don't really care about the fame and money. I just want to be a hero so that I can keep my… I just want to… I…"

Tomo coughed awkwardly to hold back his choked sob. The words he wanted to say refused to come out, the shame associated with it squeezing his throat shut.

Mr. Aizawa put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know, kid. I know." Then, he leaned in, "Between you and me, I know what you're going through. I lost someone close to me, too, once. Permanently. I went through a lot of the same emotions you have right now so I know what it's like. However, there is one difference. You can get her back. You can't imagine the things I would do to have that kind of opportunity."

Tomo looked up at Aizawa, searching his eyes desperately. "Can I really get her back?" he asked quietly, voice vulnerable.

Aizawa nodded, confidence firm in his voice. "Of course."

"But... how? How can I get her back when she doesn't want to come? How… how can I be a hero and save people when I can't even save my own sister?!"

It was a question Tomo asked himself a dozen times by now. The guilt of inadvertently forcing his sister to take such drastic actions to help him weighed heavily on his mind. That he wasn't able to recognize the signs before it was too late. That all of this was his fault.

"You want to know how? The answer is together. You're not alone in this. Your sister's betrayal isn't only your burden to carry. Your classmates have also been hurt by it and want to get her back. I myself feel like a failure for not noticing it earlier. We can all help you. We want to help you. Times like these are when it's okay to rely on those closest to you. You might think you have failed your reason for being a hero, but you haven't. Not yet. You can work hard and get stronger so that you can get her back yourself. Prove to her that you don't need her to intervene on your behalf. And we will be right by your side helping and supporting you the entire time. I know you can do it."

Tomo nodded, squinting hard to keep the tears from falling out. It was the first time in a while that he felt a little bit better.


Training began for the day and all the kids of Class 1-A had a 1-on-1 session with a clone of their teacher Ectoplasm to develop an ultimate move. Ultimate moves were described as "fight enders". A last resort they would use when the situation was rough and they needed a surefire way to secure victory.

"Do you have anything in mind?" the Ectoplasm clone asked.

Tomo nodded. He had a lot of things on his mind, but he knew that wasn't what Mr. Ectoplasm was asking. He tried to focus by expunging all extraneous thoughts from his mind.

"I-," he began before pausing. He hesitated. He wanted to get stronger and ultimate moves were a good next step. However, now that he was more aware about the true powers of Darkness, Tomo began to be unsure of himself in wielding it. He could almost hear Darkness laughing at him in his head.

As if a mind reader, Ectoplasm spoke, "How about that move you pulled in the Sports Festival?"

Tomo winced. The Forest of Shifting Shadows, the move he pulled on Bakugo in their semifinal match, was the first thought he had when thinking about an ultimate move.

However, there were a few issues. First, he realized that it was a move Darkness himself used through Tomo's body. Letting his Quirk do something that direct was an experience Tomo wanted to avoid. Second, the sensations of actually being inside that Forest was disturbing. Tomo had no doubt that it was an effective attack, but he himself was not fully immune to it. The thought of practicing the move over and over scared him.

"Is there a problem?"

Tomo looked up to his teacher. Ectoplasm stared back, no emotion in his expression as he waited patiently.

"Well… Yeah, I guess. That move I used on Bakugo is what came to my mind for an ultimate move. I call it Forest of Shifting Shadows. I can make it by gathering all the Darkness available to me and pouring it out continuously with no limit. It kinda feels like exhaling your breath for as long as you can. If I am in the proper mental state, like back in the Sports Festival, I think I…"

Tomo shivered.

The Sports Festival was not a memory he was very fond of in hindsight. He was still frustrated at himself for the nonsense with his Quirk, but also missing the clear hints Toru was trying to give him in between the rounds. In his match versus Bakugo, Tomo realized his emotions had spilled over into his fighting and the Forest was the result.


"Forest of Shifting Shadows!"

"Howitzer Impact!"

The world went black. Tomo had the feeling that he had gone too far this time. While he could not see or hear anything, Tomo could feel. He could feel his emotions spilling out along with his Darkness. He could feel Bakugo's presence in his domain. He could feel the urge of Darkness telling him to finish off his opponent. These feelings drifted in the space around him, as if he could reach a hand out and grab onto one of them.

The calm side of Tomo's mind was too far gone after the events of the Sports Festival. Darkness was way too convincing. Tomo let his Quirk run free.

He approached Bakugo, who held a muted fear on his face as he tried to see with the light from his Quirk.

Tomo smirked, liking the look on his opponent's face. He wanted more.

Bakugo startled. Several apparitions of Tomo had appeared before him and the boy futilely launched Explosions at them.

Tomo enjoyed watching the helpless struggle in his domain, a smile growing on his face. Darkness continued feeding on his emotions.

More.

This was his world. Manipulating Darkness to do his bidding came naturally to him. The apparitions continued, fueled perpetually by the leaking emotions of both boys. Bakugo had quickly gotten used to them and was rapidly firing at them to dispel the Darkness.

Meanwhile, with all the emotions floating in the space around them, a sudden memory appeared before Tomo, pulling on him until it was the only thing he could think of.


"AHAHAHA!"

Tomo was eight years old again. He was back on that terrible day. The shadow villain had punched the side of a building and turned it into thousands of pieces. The shockwaves from its destruction affected the entire street, knocking Tomo and Toru off their feet and away from each other.

Tomo opened his eyes, groaning at the pain in his head and throughout his body. He was trapped beneath some rubble and the sounds of battle could still be heard nearby.

Tomo tested his body, hoping to get out from under the debris and find his father and sister. He failed. The crushing weight above him held sturdy. He was pretty sure some bones were broken but he couldn't feel any of the pain in the moment.

"Dad?! Toru?! Can you hear me? Are you there?!" he cried out.

Tomo struggled again to move the debris and failed again. The tears in his eyes were making it harder and harder to see. The uselessness he felt in the moment hurt just as much as his physical pain.

As he lay there, immobile and useless with the sounds of a battle still going on, Tomo heard a voice. It was a familiar voice that had been whispering to him for a while now.

Come.

Give in.

Tomo knew it was his Quirk. It was the bad man, as his dad told him. The bad man said bad words and he was supposed to always ignore it.

Power.

Tomo's resolve was wavering. Every word his Quirk whispered to him stripped away another layer of his resistance. Each word like a sweet nectar that tempted him to just

Give up.

Give in.

Come.

Tomo wasn't sure what his Quirk was saying exactly, but he had a vague understanding. His dad always said the voices would try to tempt him and that he should ignore it or bad things would happen. That was the most important thing Tomo had learned about his Quirk.

So, he waited. He ignored his Quirk and sat helplessly still beneath the rubble and waited. There were a few heroes nearby and they would eventually capture the villain. Then, they could rescue him, his father, and Toru. He just had to wait.

Waiting was hard. Keeping track of time without a clock was also hard. Tomo wasn't sure how long had passed, but the pain his body was due was beginning to quickly make itself known. His left leg felt like it was on fire and he felt nothing from his right leg. He was pretty sure that was bad. His head was also pounding, his Quirk's pestering the entire time not making it any easier.

Is Toru ok? Is Dad ok? Where are they? Why hasn't anyone found me? Does anyone even know that I'm here? What if they don't look for me?!

The thoughts were slowly overwhelming him. Tomo couldn't even find the strength in his limbs to try to get out anymore. The sounds of the battle had died down and Tomo could faintly hear some voices, but none of them were nearby. He couldn't even find strength in his lungs to call out to them.

All the while, Darkness whispered.

Give in.

Tomo had done so well up until now. His dad said listening to the bad man would make bad things happen to him, but how could this get any worse? Tomo knew that more power was just a few thoughts away if he wanted to. He had an instinctual understanding of what it was that his Quirk was offering.

Freedom.

Power.

Control.

It was the thought of Toru that pushed him over the edge. He hadn't been too far from her when they got separated, and yet, he couldn't hear any signs of her. The thought of her being nearby and in need of his help was finally enough. Tomo found it hard to care if he would get in trouble. It was easy to not care about the consequences when Toru was in trouble.

Tomo didn't know how, but his mind implicitly already knew how to give his Quirk control.

Darkness engulfed him instantly, wrapping around him in a tight hug.

The sensation was like nothing Tomo had ever felt before. He felt warm and at peace. A new quietness was in the air and all the pain he was in had disappeared. It felt good.

With the might of Darkness, Tomo was able to free himself from the debris and stood upwards, Darkness moving him while his body was still limp. Tomo looked at himself. Blood was everywhere. His body was limp like a rag doll and Darkness outlined his entire frame. When he wanted to move, Darkness responded and moved his body for him.

He took a step forward.

His vision blurred for a second.

"AHHHHHH."

"PLEASE! DON'T KILL HER! TAKE ME BUT NOT HER!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"NO! PLEASE, NO!"

*Crunch*

*Snap*

Tomo blinked.

If he had any strength in his limbs, he would have fallen to the floor, but he didn't and remained upright with Darkness holding him up. Memories that were not his had briefly flooded his mind. Disturbing images and scenes flashed one-by-one in his head. Tomo threw up.

When he was finished, he looked around again. The damage was catastrophic. An entire building had collapsed on top of him. Between the cracks, Tomo could see a bit of the outside world.

What he saw wasn't pretty. Not a single building remained upright on the entire street. A few buildings in the surrounding blocks had also suffered damage. It was as if a tornado had blown through the city. Several heroes, policemen, and rescue workers littered the area trying to find and rescue civilians. None of them were close by and none of them had yet to see him inside the building.

Toru?

Tomo couldn't speak. If he tried to, he had a feeling he would puke again.

He looked around for any signs of her. All his eyes were met with was pure destruction. It was hard to believe a single villain had done this.

Instinct took over again as Tomo used Darkness to start digging out the debris nearby. Toru had to be close. She was invisible and none of the heroes would know how to find her. She was always good at hide-and-seek when they were younger, but Tomo had a talent for finding her. He would do the same now.

As he dug, suddenly, his vision blurred again.

More memories, every one of them as graphic and horrifying as the previous one, flooded him. A man being killed. An entire building being destroyed. Dismemberment and mutilation. The horrifying memories continued and continued. His heart felt like it was going to explode.

He couldn't continue like this, he realized. Darkness was too much for him.

How do I stop…

His heart rate spiked. He had been acting through pure instinct so far, but when he wanted nothing more than to turn off his Quirk, he didn't know how. It was as if he were a prisoner of his own Quirk.

Another round of gruesome memories flashed. A limb. Two slow deaths. Evisceration. It was a steady stream of memories.

Then, when it was over, Darkness continued moving his body to search for Toru. It was a vicious cycle Tomo had no consent in.

As he faded between the line of consciousness and unconsciousness, a voice called out to him.

"H-Hey! Are you ok?"

Darkness turned Tomo's body to the voice and Tomo had to do everything he could to not let Darkness lash out. A hero was looking at him with a mixture of worry and fear.

When he didn't respond, the hero continued, "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Can you move? If you can, come to me and I will take you to safety. If you can't move, just stay out and I will be right there with you."

"Found another one. A child, covered in some shadow" the hero said into their communication device.

The hero then activated what Tomo assumed was his Quirk and started shrinking the large amount of debris between them, all the while shouting words of encouragement and reassurance to Tomo.

Tomo's voice still failed him. He could feel Darkness inching closer and closer to the hero, but with ill-intent in mind. Tomo wanted to scream at the hero to get away, but couldn't.

"I'm going to grab you now, okay? Don't worry, I won't hurt you so just stay calm," the hero said in a steady voice.

A pair of strong arms carefully wrapped around his sides. Tomo could see the wince in the hero's face as he touched the Darkness.

"Buddy, I'm gonna need you to turn off your Quirk or else this is going to be difficult. Do you think you can do that?"

Darkness was slowly enveloping the hero. His Quirk screamed at him to consume the hero and Tomo tried his hardest to prevent that. He was hurting the hero trying to help him and it filled him with an immense guilt. With tearful shut eyes, he shook his head, scared.

"Ah," the hero responded with a soft grunt. "Don't worry then. You're safe with me. What's your name?"

Tomo felt his body get picked up as the hero tried making small talk. He opened his eyes to see the absolute terror on the hero's face as Darkness crawled up his arm. At the same time, a wide smile remained steady on his face as he gave Tomo a look of pure warmth, as if nothing was wrong.

Tomo shut his eyes again as another round of memories flashed. The hero grunted in pain again. Tomo's heart was breaking at the trouble he was causing.

It was then that an idea came to him. Tomo was trying so hard to do so many things. Control his Quirk, free himself, find Toru and his dad, stay calm, and so much more. None of it worked so instead, he tried doing what he was best at. Nothing.

He relaxed. He forced himself to exhale and release all the tension in his body. Just like his dad taught him. He tried to clear his mind and let all thoughts go. Everytime he felt his Quirk acting up, he forcefully exhaled again and relaxed. One of the first lessons Tomo was taught was that Darkness was a power that was closely intertwined with his emotions. If he could focus on lowering his emotional panic, Darkness would quickly follow. He focused on his senses and tried his best to find a calm that was desperately needed for the moment.

That was when he felt his Quirk weaken. Its intense hold on his body loosened as his mind grew slower. It was almost like trying to fall asleep. So that's what he did. Tomo fell asleep.


That memory was the last thing Tomo remembered in his match versus Bakugo. When he woke up, he was already in the nurse's office and the match was over.

Tomo looked at Mr. Ectoplasm, indecision written all over his face. An ultimate move like the Forest of Shifting Shadows would be sufficient for the exercise, but only if he didn't have to relive the worst, or maybe now second worst, day of his life every time he used it. The resurfacing trauma from the previous time he used it was the final straw in solidifying his distrust in Darkness. He would shelve the idea for now and look for another technique.

Ultimately, he couldn't think of anything else and their first day of class was over with Tomo having nothing to show for it.


A/N: Thanks for reading.