"I don't know where I'm going yet." I heard Edward whisper in the hall way.
I placed my book down on my bed and stealthly moved towards my door to listen better.
"They'll need you all the more, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take away half of her family in one blow?" He asked in a whisper. "I know thats why you have to stay....Yes. But I have to do whats right." He paused a moment. "I didn't catch most of that."
There was another pause. "I think something is changing though. Your life seems to be at cross roads." I heard Alice say.
Edward laughed slightly. "You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right? Today is all right, though isn't it?" Edward asked sounding worried.
"I don't see you killing anyone." Alice answered.
"Thanks Alice."
"Get dressed. You are going to be the one to tell everyone." Alice said sounding sad.
Once I heard Alice go downstairs I followed Edward. "I'm going with you." I said softly.
Edward turned around to face me. "No your not."
"Yes I am." I stated.
He shook his head. "You have to stay here."
"I don't have to do anything." I said glaring at him. "Fine. If you don't want me to come then I'll go alone."
"Why do you want to leave all of a sudden?" He asked confused.
'Don't bother. I'll go alone then.' I thought turning away and heading downstairs to the garage.
I was already waiting by my car for my siblings when Edward pulled in next to where I was parked. Rosalie and Emmett walked off to class holding hands. Jasper followed behind them his head down. Alice glided over to me looking concerned. Edward was scaning the parking lot looking for Bella.
"Your leaving too?" She asked.
I sighed and nodded.
"Where are you going? I can't see it." She commented frowning.
"I don't know yet. Where ever I go I promise I'll keep in touch."
"Why are you leaving?"
I sighed again. "I need some space. Its not really something I wish to talk about. I really can't talk about it. I..." I didn't know what else to say. Alice looked hurt. "No. Its not you, or our family. I'm sorry Alice..." I sighed again and started to walk towards the school.
I was half way there when I heard the squealing of tires behind me. I twirled around and saw Edward dash across the lot pulling Bella out of the way of Tyler Crowley's van. I was frozen where I stood. After a second I was at Alice's side waiting to see what she would say about what our brother had done.
Edward had ran at an inhuman speed AND lifted the van. What else was he going to do that wasn't human? I shot Alice a worried glance. She looked just as worried. We watched as Brett Warner, an EMT, helped Bella onto a gurney. Edward pushed out the dents in the car that he had leaned back on. I nodded slightly to Edward when I saw him do this. Always distroy the evidence. He got into the front of the ambulance and they drove off.
I had not noticed my siblings had joined the crowed. Alice and I walked over to them. Rosalie was cursing under her breath. Jasper looked tenced, and Emmett looked like he normally did. Today was not going to be a good day. Hopefully they would be to pissed off at Edward to be angry with me for leaving.
Classes were annoying. The teachers and students kept asking Jasper and I about Edward. Was he alright? Who cares? Obviously we wouldn't be in school if he wasn't. I skipped luch not wanting to hear Rosalie whine about how stupid Edward was. At least he didn't kill the girl. It would have been worse if he killed her, or if she had gotten pinned and had been bleading. I know I would have been right there next to Edward sucking up her blood.
I met up with Jasper in math class. He looked at me puzzled. I shrugged. I could tell he was getting annoyed and worried with my lack of comunication. He was going to have to wait like every one else.
He pestered me on the way home. He knew something about me was off. How odd it was that he would rather pester me than Edward. I drove home silently following Edward. Once home Jasper and I silently followed our siblings to the dining room. Our father, Carlisle was sitting in his normal seat at the eastern head of the table. Esme was next to him holding his hand ontop of the table. Edward took his seat on the other side of Carlisle. Esme reached over the table to touch him. Rosaile sat at the other end of the table glaring at Edward. Emmett of course sat next to her looking wry. Jasper left my side to stand behind Rosalie. I stood slightly behind Edward being to worried to sit. Alice slowly walked in the room and sat next to Esme rubbing her head. Jasper twitched but stayed behind Rose.
"I'm sorry.I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsiblity for my hasty actions." Edward said looking at our siblings.
"What do you mean, 'Take full responsiblity'? Are you going to fix it?" Rosalie asked.
"Not in the way you mean. I am willing to leave now, if it will make things better." Edward explained.
"No." Esme murmured. "No Edward."
"You can't leave now. We have to know what people are thinking now more than ever." Emmett said.
"Alice will catch anything major." Edward disagreed.
"I think Emmett is right Edward. She might say something if you disapear." Carlisle said.
"She won't say anything. Alice back me up." Edward said.
Alice shook her head. "I can't see anything."
I sat down on the floor and zoned out. This really didn't concern me since no one had asked for my opion. I was deep in thought about where I might go my thoughts were hidden from both Alice and Edward when he lept out of his chair almost hitting me. I jumped off the floor stepping out of the way.
"Edward." Carlisle said placing his hand on Edward's shoulder.
"Its becoming clearer as you decide. Its one way or another." Alice told him.
"No!" Edward whispered.
"Can someone please explaine what is going on?" Emmett asked annoyed.
"I have to leave." Edward whispered.
"We have been over this already. We need you here to see if she does talk." Emmett said loudly.
"I don't see you leaving." Alice told Edward.
"I don't hear that." Edward said answering someone's thought.
I decided that I had enough family time and shimmered away. I snuck upstairs glad Edward was the center of attention. I heard Emmett's laughter and glanced out of my window seeing Edward running into the forest. I sighed to myself.
There was a knock on my door and I opened it sighing again. Esme and Alice followed by Carlisle entered my room. I took a seat on the floor facing my couch. "I am guessing Alice told you something." I said.
Carlisle nodded. Esme looked like she was going to cry. I was thankful that vampires couldn't because I couldn't bear to make her cry.
"Would you mind expalining?" Alice asked sitting next to me while our parents sat on the couch.
I took a deep breath trying to find the right words. "I need some space..."
"There is something more isn't there?" Esme asked softly.
I looked at the carpet fibers. I nodded.
"We are willing to listen." Carlisle offered.
I shook my head. "I know. I know that you are willing to listen...I can't really...I just try not to think about it. Its just been consuming my thoughts lately..."
I looked up when my door opened. Jasper was watching me from the door way. Great, now he was going to pester me.
"You can take some time off from school. You don't have to leave home." Esme said.
"What ever is wrong won't help being alone." Jasper said taking a seat on the other side of me.
"Fine...I'll take a few days off from school..." I said getting up and leaving my room. They couldn't stop me from leaving if I wanted to. I knew they wouldn't.
Esme and Carlisle followed me. "Please KC. We want you to stay." Esme murmured grasping my hand.
I stopped walking and closed my eyes counting to ten. I was so close to freaking out. Why was I the only one curse with being alone for the rest of my existance? Was I that bad of a person? I opened my eyes again watching Esme and Carlisle. "I can't promise that I won't leave. I do however promise that if I do leave, I will come back..."
"Why are you leaving?" Rosalie asked.
"Why are you so annoying?" I asked annoyed.
"Whats wrong with you?" Emmett asked frowning next to his wife.
"HHHmmmm...Lets see....Maybe the fact that suddenly everyone wants to play fifty questions!" I growled yanking my hand away from Esme. She and Carlisle looked shocked. They had never see me lose my temper before. Jasper was by my side in an instant. Alice was behind him looking worried.
"We need to talk." Jasper said looking concerned.
"I am done talking." I said pulling my keys out of my pocket. Jasper nodded to Emmett and they tackled me taking away my keys. I growled at them and showed my teeth. Emmett had me tight in his arms. There was no way I was getting out of this 'talk' with my brothers.
They pulled me into my room. "Something is wrong. I want to know what it is before you leave." Jasper explained watching my every move.
I shook my sighed.
Carlisle and Esme entered my room both looking worried and sad. I shifted on my couch when I saw they were holding hands. Jasper's eyes flickered from them to me. "Is this about...?" Jasper asked confused.
I proped my feet up switching to a laying position on my couch. I shifted my thoughts to jokes Emmett made about random things, causing a change in my mood. Jasper guessed at what I was doing and pulled me up right staring into my eyes to better see my emotions. I watched him silently.
"KC, whats wrong?" Carlisle asked after a moment.
I shook my head. "Nothing."
"Usually you wait until I pull a prank before you freak out." Emmett teased.
I smiled. It was true. "I'm sorry. I hate being the center of attention. I can't stand it when everyone keeps asking me questions."
"Kasper, I know something is wrong. Something about your mood has been off lately. You seem...unhappy but you have been hiding it. I can tell when you shadow your emotions." Jasper stated still watching me.
"If being around humans is getting to you its ok. We won't force you to go to school." Carlisle said.
"I'm fine. If I have been a little unhappy lately it has nothing to do with going to school. You always assume that everything has something to do with me being thirsty and wanting to kill a human. It gets old after a while." I snapped.
"I'm sorry. It was rude for me to have said that. I know you and Jasper have come a long way with fighing your temptations." Carlisle said looking guilty.
I sighed. "I have been unhappy lately. I didn't want everyone to worry. I have been thinking of the regrets of my past. I'm fine."
Jasper didn't look convinced. Emmett shifted looking bored. Esme and Carlisle sat next to me. One on each side. "You have never told us about your past." Carlisle stated. This was true. Jasper didn't even know much about me before he changed me.
"Jasper told it all. I was with him." I said.
"Before that. I know enough about you to tell that what ever is bothering you isn't because you helped kill newborns." Jasper said coldly. "You have made it clear that neither one of us is to blame for any of that mess because it was all we knew."
I didn't know what to say to this. "I don't remember much from before that." I lied.
"Your lying." He said still watching me.
"Jasper...please...I'm not proud of who I was. Its something I really don't want to think about." I pleaded.
Emmet left the room. "You'r not going to feel better until you talk about it. We won't think less of you what ever it is." Jasper said leaning against the wall.
"I can't talk about it. If I could then maybe I would feel better...but not about myself." I stated.
Esme wraped her arms around me. "Kasper, we love you. What ever you did, who ever you were doesn't matter. You are our son. You are a good person."
Jasper winced feeling what I felt inside of me. Alice invited herself in my room like the rest of my guests and stood next to Jasper. "Esme is right." Carlisle said placing his arm on my shoulder.
"We aren't going to leave you alone until your stable." Jasper stated.
Alice nodded. Jasper put his arm around Alice's waist pulling her closer. I looked away. Jasper shifted causing me to look back. He was frowning. "Is this about Becca?" He asked.
I twitched in Esme's arms when he said her name. He felt the stab of pain and knew he was right. "How do you know that name?" I asked in a whisper.
"You called out a lot when you were changing." He explained looking sorrowful. "You always said her name."
I suddenly felt selfish. I had my shot at love. Why couldn't I just suck it up and be happy for everyone else. It wasn't that big of a deal that everyone else had a mate and was insanely in love. What did it matter if Edward was going to be just as happy with this Bella girl? Esme hugged me tighter.
"Your someone is out there." Alice said softly.
I shook my head. "I think for once your wrong." I said releasing myself gently from Esme's grip and heading to the living room. I joined Emmett in playing one of his sports games pretending like nothing happened.
