"I think that this is my favourite." Alec said, running his finger over the spine of the book and walking back to where Magnus was sprawled on the ground.

"Which one?" Magnus asked, prying his nose out of the frayed copy of The Great Gatsby the Alec found for him. He sighed dramatically and held out a hand. "You shall have to bring it closer. I have terrible eyesight and cannot possibly see the cover when you're that far away."

Alec grinned and scooted closer so that he was sitting cross legged just behind Magnus' head. He held the book over Magnus' face, so close that Magnus had to squint to make out the title.

"Good Omens?" He asked, looking at the cover carefully. "Isn't Neil Gaiman the Coraline guy?"

"Among other things." Alec said, though he sounded pleased that Magnus knew who Neil Gaiman was - Magnus mentally patted himself on the back for that one. "And Terry Pratchett. It's amazing and funny."

"Amazing?"

"Yes."

"I must read it." Magnus said, plucking the book from Alec's hands and opening it to the first page. He shifted his head slightly so that it was in Alec's lap, waiting a moment before looking up. Alec just grinned at him and picked up the Great Gatsby, sighing and starting to read.

They sat in complete silence for while, reading and just enjoying the feeling of being around each other. Magnus couldn't help but be a little drowsy, sitting with Alec and getting lost in the story. Alec was right, the book was funny and Magnus found himself giggling as he read. This seemed to humour Alec, who just gave Magnus a funny look, chuckled and kept reading. Magnus wished he could go back in time and talk to his past self, tell him that he was going to find Alec and that it was all going to be okay. Magnus had had so many bad boyfriends, ones that just wanted to sleep with him, ones that just wanted to use him, so many that he couldn't really connect with. And then there was Alec, who was so opposite to him and yet so perfect. There was something about him that had Magnus falling hard. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Alec, because this was Alec's first serious relationship, but there were three words that were starting to run through his mind every time he saw his boyfriend. It was only a matter of time before they ran out of Magnus' mouth and changed everything.

Magnus was lost in his thoughts when Alec spoke up.

"Magnus," Alec said, suddenly quiet. He put the book down, just next to Magnus' head. Both his hands went to Magnus' hair, drawing Magnus' attention away from his thoughts.

"Huh?" Magnus said, his voice quieter than he thought it would be. "I was reading." He said louder.

"No you weren't." Magnus looked up in time to see Magnus roll his eyes. "I know you're not a fast reader, but you looked at the same page for about ten minutes. That's pushing it even for Isabelle."

Magnus stayed quiet.

"We need to talk." Magnus felt his heart stop. Those were the words. They were the words that every crap boyfriend had said before it ended. He didn't want this to be like that, he didn't want this to end like that.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Magnus blurted, trying to keep the panic away from his voice. This on top of everything would probably break him.

"What?" Alec looked just as alarmed as Magnus felt, which helped him calm down a little. "What the hell? No. God, no."

"So no one ever told you that those are key break up words?"

"No." Alec groaned. "I had no idea. We do need to talk about something though. I did something bad."

"If you've cheated or something, I should warn you that I might vomit and cry."

"It doesn't have anything to do with us."

"What is it then?" Magnus asked, though he could feel dread building. "What did you do?"

"I found your dad."

Magnus sat up, recoiling away from Alec and trying to calm his racing heart. "You did what?" Alec's favorite book slid away from Magnus along the floor, though Magnus hardly noticed. He could barely comprehend what Alec was talking about.

"I know I shouldn't have." Alec said, shaking his head and burying it in his hands. "But you were so torn up about it and then I was looking at the photo. And I found him."

"What?" Magnus' voice was barely a whisper, completely stunned.

"He doesn't live far from here. He's unmarried and as far as I know, you're his only kid. I talked a little bit to Jocelyn because well, she was in the photo too. She gave me his name and then I found him in the phone book. His address and everything."

"Oh my god."

"I'm so sorry." Alec said, biting his lip and staring at the ground. "I shouldn't have looked but I wanted to help. And then I couldn't keep it from you any longer without feeling bad."

"Oh my god."

"Magnus?" Alec said. "I'm really sorry."

"You found him?" Magnus said, trying to wrap his head around everything. "You have his address and everything?"

"Yeah." Alec said, drawing the end out and looking at Magnus suspiciously.

"We're going to meet him." Magnus said, jumping to his feet. "That's what we're going to do. We're going to go and meet my dad." He started towards the door, already making the mental list of things they might need to make the long drive out.

Alec got up too, grabbing Magnus' shoulders before he could get far. "Are you serious?" He scanned Magnus' face, looking for some sign that he was kidding, anything to tell him that his boyfriend wasn't being crazy. "Magnus that's insane. We can't just drive out there and make this big declaration. As far as we know, he doesn't know you exist. That's enough to freak anyone out. We can't just go over there."

"Alec. He's my Dad."

"No he's not." Alec shook his head. "You know that he's no more your dad than the man who raised you. You've never met him. We can't just drive out there and hope that everything goes smoothly."

"I'm going out there. I can get Isabelle to drive me." Magnus wasn't even sure that Isabelle had a license, but he was willing to bet that she did. "We'll take your mum's car. Isabelle will help me." Magnus was in a sort of daze, the words falling out of his mouth before he could clue in what was happening.

"Okay." Alec said. "I'll drive you. Christ, I'll drive you. Get your stuff together, it'll take us about three hours to get there." Magnus just nodded, stumbling out of the library and nearly hitting Isabelle on his way out. She looked at them both, flushed and panicked. Magnus knew his eyes were wide and he could feel his heart racing in his chest

"What the hell are you two doing?" She asked, laughing a little.

Magnus looked back just in time to see Alec scowl. "Something really stupid."

"Can you stop doing that?" Alec snapped, before softening his tone. "I know you're nervous, but the tappin' is starting to drive me crazy." It was the first thing either of them had said since they got into the car, more than two hours ago. Magnus was too scared to talk and Alec seemed more frustrated than anything.

"Sorry." Magnus mumbled, his hands stilling from where they'd been frantically beating against his thighs. "I'm just suddenly terrified. Was this a bad idea?"

Alec shrugged. "Probably. But we're only about half an hour away, so we might as well keep going."

"Yeah, I guess so." Magnus fell silent again, looking out the window and watching the hills roll by. "Did you tell your parents where we were going?"

"No." Alec said, his hands tightening on the wheel. "I didn't know what the hell to tell them. I'm just hoping they don't try and murder me when we get back." Magnus winced, letting the silence fall down over them and remain there for the rest of the drive.

There were so many horrible ways that this could go and Magnus couldn't help but imagine all of them - though he hoped that the one where his father turned out to be a serial killer was as unlikely as he thought. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty for dragging Alec along, but he didn't want to admit that he was horribly wrong and kept throwing their relationship off on a tilt. Sorry didn't really seem to cut it at this point. Magnus was too worried about his father to linger on this thought for long, convincing himself that he needed to do this and Alec should support him - no matter how selfish he felt saying that.

Magnus felt like it had only been a few seconds before Alec was stopping the car. "We're here." He said softly.

The house was small, but Magnus thought it looked homey, in part a place that he might have enjoyed growing up in. There was an enormous tree in the front with low hanging branches that Magnus thought would make the perfect place for a swing set. Magnus imagined for a moment, growing up here with a family as picture perfect as the Lightwoods. Maybe having more siblings, younger ones for him to boss around and watch over. He thought about his mother and how her eyes lit up when she spoke of Texas and how easy it would have been for them to have gone to the next town over to visit Maryse. To visit Alec.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Alec asked. His eyes were focussed on Magnus and Magnus couldn't help but feel exposed, as though Alec could see right through any facade that Magnus tried to erect.

"I'm not sure." Magnus said. "But I think that I have to."

"This isn't why I found him you know." Alec sighed. "I tried to find him because I wanted to make sure that he was still alive. I didn't want you to get it in your head that he was around and you could see him only to find out he'd been dead for years. But then this whole thing started and we're sitting outside of his house."

"We are." Magnus was surprised how calm his voice sounded, though he could see in Alec's face that it was hollow. "I'm going to knock on the door."

"Wait." Alec said, grabbing Magnus' wrist as he moved to get out of the car. "Magnus. This of all things shouldn't change anything. Don't let this change you. No matter how this turns out, do not let this one moment, this one man, change everything."

And Magnus, because he was on a roll for doing hilariously stupid things, looked right into his boyfriend's eyes and lied. "I won't." And the moment the words left his lips, something in Alec hardened. Because he could see right through Magnus and he knew that Magnus was lying.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alec was resigned and Magnus felt guilty again.

But it didn't stop him from throwing a flippant, "if you want," over his shoulder as he got out of the car. Alec sighed, but followed him a moment later, running to catch up to Magnus who was over the lawn and standing on the front stoop before Alec had even undone his seatbelt.

Before Magnus knocked, he stopped, his fist already poised over the blue door. Then he turned to Alec and melted. "I'm sorry. I'm being awful. I'm just scared." He let out a long sigh and turned away from Alec, not waiting to see his reaction. Alec's hand gently slid into Magnus' his rough thumb rubbing circles into the back of Magnus' hand. There was a moment of agreed silence between them as Magnus knocked firmly on the door, twice, directly in the middle.

Alec's hand moved to Magnus' back as they waited, one heartbeat and then two. The door suddenly swung open and Magnus came face to face with a man he'd never thought he'd meet.

"Hi. I'm Magnus. I'm your son."

He looked different than Magnus thought he would. Younger even. He was tall, something that Magnus realized he must get from him, but not as skinny as his son. There was a soft tan to his skin that made him look even more like Magnus. He invited them in right away, clapping Magnus on the shoulder and shaking Alec's hand. Magnus was delighted, because his father was friendly and loud and everything he'd imagined.

"I can't believe this." Asmodeus said, looking at Magnus again. He was standing by the counter and making them coffee, insisting on it. "You look so much like your mother."

"I do?" Magnus said, finding himself smiling without another thought. "I thought I looked a lot like you actually."

Magnus' father laughed, big and booming. His green eyes squinted and he nodded. "I suppose you do. Always wanted a son." He added, after only a moment's pause. "I can't believe that your mother never told me."

Alec sent a funny look at the back of Asmodeus' head for that one, something that Magnus tried to ignore. Alec would learn to like Asmodeus, he'd have to, because Magnus was already enormously fond of his father. "She married—"

"I know." Asmodeus said, shaking his head. "I met the guy. Quite cold, not the social type. I couldn't believe a woman like your mother was settling for someone like that."

Magnus bit his tongue and nodded, leaning back and looking around the kitchen. It was small, with off white counters and a big window in the back that looked out over the backyard. There were magnets on the fridge with dozens of sticky notes and grocery lists. It almost made Magnus laugh to imagine his mother wandering his kitchen, with her perfectly pressed pants and IKEA furniture. He had to remind himself that there was obviously a side of his mother that had fallen madly for this man and it was a side he'd have to become more familiar with. It was a completely different side from the one who had married his father.

"So," Asmodeus poured the coffee, smiling at them, "any interests? Hobbies?"

"Magnus just learned how to ride." Alec laughed, nodding his thanks and wrapping his hands around a mug of coffee. "Had never been on a horse before he came down here."

"Really?"

Taking the offered cup from his father, Magnus nodded. "I'd never even seen one in person."

"That's just a crime."

"That's what I said!" Alec exclaimed, looking like he was warming up to Magnus' father quickly. It was a picture perfect scene, his boyfriend laughing with his father. Magnus couldn't have felt more at home. He was already devising a plan in his head that would allow him to spend part of the year with Asmodeus and Alec, returning to his mother and friends only when he really needed to.

"How are your parents kid?" Asmodeus asked, raising his own cup to his lips. "I haven't seen them in years."

"They're good. I have a couple of other siblings too."

"You Lightwoods." Asmodeus sighed. "Breeding like rabbits. Although I will admit they've raised a fine gentleman."

Alec blushed slightly. "Well, thank you. Though we don't have anything on the clan the Blackthorns are growing. I think they're up to about eight now."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope." Magnus grinned, drinking in his father's laugh hungrily. "Really nice kids though."

"I'd expect nothing more. Now, tell me more about yourself."

Magnus shrugged. "I can't even think of where to start." So, he started to tell his father everything, from Camille and his friends to the diner where they loved to sit. He told his father some of the more tame of his funny stories, flinging his arms around and savouring the feeling of a parent that genuinely wanted to know more. "And then, Camille was just about to—"

"Oh no." Asmodeus said, his booming laugh sounding through the kitchen again.

"Oh yes!" Magnus yelled. He finished his story, his father's laugh accompanying the rest of the tale. Magnus could feel his cheeks starting to cramp from smiling and he looked at Alec to see him giving Magnus a look of delight and adoration. It made Magnus think of something he really needed to know, something he had been dying to ask his father. "Can I ask you something?" Magnus said suddenly, his voice more calm and more serious.

"Anything." Asmodeus said, giving Magnus a look that was almost pride, genuine care.

"How did you meet my mother. I only know the bare details."

Asmodeus nodded, stroking his chin and beginning the story in that hushed voice. It was one that Magnus had only heard in movies, it was the voice that dads used when they told a story, just above a whisper and with enough conviction that you hung off their every word. It was a voice that Magnus' father had never used with him, at least not the way Asmodeus did. "It was over where Alec lives, a tiny little town. I grew up there and only moved out here when an uncle of mine left me the property. I'd known Maryse almost all my life and she was convinced that your mother and I would get along right away. I wasn't convinced until I met her. I thought she'd be odd and quiet, the way Maryse had always described her. But she wasn't. She was incredible and bright, everything about her shone like unparalleled light. I couldn't help but fall for her in seconds. And she fell for me too, the perfect love story.

"But it all fell apart, because she had to go home. I remember the day she left as clear as if it were yesterday. She looked beautiful, she was wearing a blue dress and had these little yellow clips in her hair. Maryse had bought her the dress and maybe even the airfare. Your mother came from such a poor community, they couldn't afford those things." Asmodeus shook his head, his eyes looking far away like he could still see Magnus' mother, standing at the airport in the blue dress. "I remember looking at her and knowing deep in my heart that I would never find anyone who could even hold a candle to your mother. So I didn't try. I sent her letters and begged her to come back.

"And one day she did. But it wasn't for me. It was for some rich city man, someone she barely even knew. It was terrible, I couldn't stand the heartbreak. So I flew out to see her, got on a plane and went across the country to find the woman who'd stolen my heart. I found her apartment and barged in there to find her even more beautiful than the last time we'd met. And we fell in love again, like we'd never been apart. But she wouldn't stay with me, wouldn't leave me for the man she insisted was her soul mate."

"Wow."

"Yeah." Asmodeus sighed. "It was terrible and I thought that nothing good would have ever come from our relationship. But I guess I was wrong." He smiled at Magnus, who couldn't help but grin back. "That's basically the story, there's a lot more to it of course, but for now I want to hear more about you. Any plans for college?"

"I'm actually hoping to go into fashion design." Magnus said confidently, already teeming with stories and designs that he wanted to share with his father. "Probably Parsons? If I can get in that is."

"I'm sure you can." Magnus' father waved him off. "Though you'll have to be careful, there are going to be a lot of fags in that business."

Magnus' blood turned to ice. "What did you just say?" His mug was frozen, halfway to his lips. He felt his grip tighten on the cup, his knuckles turning white. Alec looked just as stunned, though he was looking at Magnus with a growing sense of worry.

"Fags? Faggots?" Asmodeus said. "You know, those disgusting freaks? They really think that God would have made them like that? Damn unnatural. Unbelievable."

Magnus could see clearly the picture that he'd painted for himself, the perfect scene of the perfect boyfriend meeting the perfect father. Suddenly, it was as though someone had taken a sledgehammer to that photo and Magnus was walking on the glass, cutting himself to ribbons.

He couldn't breathe, his whole world suddenly devoid of air as he was left gasping, reaching for anything that would let him get up. Anything that would let him put himself back together. And as the cherry on top, Magnus' father didn't notice, couldn't see his son floundering for air. But Alec did, Magnus felt his hand on his back and the world became clearer, a little more defined at the edges as he sat in complete, dazed silence.

"I think we should go." Alec said, his tone far politer than the one Magnus would have managed. "We'd love to stay, but we've got a long drive home."

Asmodeus frowned. "That's a shame, but of course you know you're welcome back here anytime." He spoke to Magnus, who nodded numbly. "And call anytime you want. I'd love to hear more about those friends of yours." He gave Magnus a smile that was so caring, so genuine that Magnus wanted to laugh. Because it would never last if Magnus were to admit to his father that Alec wasn't his friend and that he wasn't exactly straight.

So, Magnus continued to nod numbly, accepting another clap on the back that he tried not to flinch away from. It was hard to hold himself together, focussing on Alec — who carried the horrifying, homophobic conversation on their whole way out - Magnus wasn't even sure if the conversation was homophobic, he could only hear his father's words bouncing around in his head.

They were halfway to the car, walking through the grass when it hit Magnus like a ton of bricks. And suddenly he wasn't numb anymore, he was furious. Something in him smashed, more than the glass breaking on his perfect picture, it was the falling of the Berlin Wall. Magnus was done being let down. His boyfriend was standing in front of him, having endured something he'd always been terrified of getting from his own parents. Alec had driven him here, on Magnus' crazy whim. Magnus had let him take that, had pretended like they were nothing more than friends. And Alec hadn't said a word, had never pressured Magnus the way that Magnus had pressured him.

So Magnus grabbed Alec's hand and spun him around, kissing him with every amount of adoration he felt for his boyfriend and letting the ferocity he wanted to direct onto his father fuel the kiss. Alec hesitated for a moment, before Magnus felt him smile and lean into the kiss. He grabbed Magnus' waist and Magnus let his hand drift to Alec's neck before letting him go. Alec looked like he wanted to cheer, a bright grin on his lips as they ran for the car. Magnus let out a bark of laughter and leapt into the passenger seat.

Magnus' moment of triumph was short, because he made the mistake of looking back at the house. It was only for a second, barely a glance. But it was enough for him to see the look on his father's face. And there was no mistaking the plain and clear disappointment on his features.

The victory was long gone on their trip home, more silence engulfing the two of them as Magnus came to terms with everything that had happened. He tried to understand how everything had crumbled so quickly. It had happened in the blink of an eye and Magnus had been able to see his father for who he really was.

"I'm sorry." Alec muttered. Magnus wanted to laugh because Alec, of all people, hadn't done a single thing wrong. It was starting to get dark and the only thing Magnus could focus on was the yellow headlights lighting up the road ahead of them. He couldn't meet Alec's eyes, which glanced over to him every few seconds as though he were trying to gage how long it was going to take for Magnus to fall apart. He was already completely shattered on the inside, but it was taking longer than normal for those feelings to float to the surface.

"What for?" Magnus asked quietly. "You didn't make my real father an asshole. He did that all on his own."

"Magnus." Alec said softly, the wind whistling through the slightly open window.

Magnus took in a shaky breath, blinking back tears. "I just wanted so badly for him to be amazing. For him to be the kind of dad who would make up for all the trouble he caused. Or who would make this whole trip life changing. I wanted him to be perfect. And all he was was an ass who slept with my mother. While she was married."

"You know that's not true." Alec said, his voice still soft. There was almost a patronizing tone to it. "Magnus, you could hear it in his voice as much as I could. He loved her. You can't blame him for being old fashioned."

Biting his lip, trying to keep it all the hurt from spilling over the edges, Magnus looked out the window. The top of the sky was turning a gorgeous midnight blue, the kind that most people only saw in paintings. The kind where it was still light enough that it didn't feel like night, but it was dark enough for the stars to wink down from the sky. But the horizon was still light from the sun, the thick scarlet red painting the fields in front of them as the ground bled into the sky and created a deep violet where they met. Magnus wished for his camera, wanting something good to come out of this completely terrible moment. But he'd forgotten it, left it on his bedside table. He'd been so caught up in the rush to find himself in his father that he hadn't brought it.

"I don't want you to be upset." Alec whispered. "Please don't be upset."

Slumping down on the seat, Magnus took in another wavering breath. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Alec echoed.

"For dragging you out into the middle of fucking nowhere." Magnus bit out. "To see my father who was a huge fucking disappointment. And then I wasn't even nice to you for most of the morning because I decided to be all moody and nervous and bitchy. I'm sorry because I'm a mess." Magnus was practically spitting the words by the end, desperate to get them out of his mouth.

"You're not a mess."

"Yes I am!" Magnus yelled. The noise dropped off right after he did, falling back to the quiet hum of the engine and the rush of the wind. "I'm a fucking mess. I have a partying problem, I have serious daddy issues apparently, I'm fighting an internal battle over whether or not to love my parents. Oh and did I mention that I'm a slut? Let's not forget the fact that I'm an unnatural, disgusting freak as well." Magnus repeated his father's words, remembering them bouncing off the kitchen walls. They were clear in his mind, his father's voice calm and nonchalant as he tore his son in two. "Alec, I'm a train wreck."

Alec let out a sigh and for a terrifying moment, Magnus was afraid that he'd agree with him. That would be the perfect ending to a perfect day, to have the boy of his dreams - the boy that he was starting to realize he was in love with - tell him that he really needed to get his shit together. Then, slowly and calmly, Alec pulled over to the side of the road.

"Magnus," Alec beckoned with his hands and Magnus undid his seat belt to slide over to him. "Please stop crying." He whispered, one of his thumbs sliding across Magnus' cheek to wipe away tears that Magnus hadn't realized were falling.

The tears were warm and Alec's hands were - like most days - cold. They sent shivers down Magnus' spine and for a moment he forgot why he was crying. But those moments, when Alec took his breath away so severely and so entirely that the whole world slipped away, those moments never lasted long. Magnus was surprised they existed at all. Surprised Alec existed at all. Magnus wasn't sure if this is what it meant to be in love, but there was something so amazing about it, something so tangible about the way he felt about Alec that he thought it had to be.

"I wanted him to be perfect." Magnus whimpered, his voice quiet and thick with tears. "He was supposed to be perfect." And Asmodeus had been, before he'd opened his mouth about gay people and made Magnus hate everything he was. It seemed appropriate, for the man who raised Magnus to hardly give a crap about Magnus and for the man who was Magnus' biological father to hate him. It made Magnus question for a moment every reason he'd ever had for being out and proud. Because if the people who were supposed to innately love him couldn't find it in their hearts to accept him, was he worth accepting? Magnus had become so confused, so completely turned around by the events of the day that he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore.

"Forget him." Alec said fiercely. "Fuck him. He doesn't deserve you. You're so much better than all that Magnus, so much better than distant parents and asshole fathers. He doesn't have to be perfect because you are."

Magnus wanted to remind Alec about how he'd been very quick to defend said asshole father, but all that came out was: "No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Alec insisted, "you're this amazing artist. You're always bright like sunshine and you have this way about you-"

"I'm not amazing." Magnus cried, "I'm all over the place. You deserve so much better."

"We've had this conversation before." Alec whispered, leaning in to kiss the tears that were making their way down Magnus' cheeks. "Except it was the other way around." He reminded Magnus softly and Magnus looked up in surprise, remembering the other time they'd pulled over on the road. The time in the sunshine and daylight on a different road. When Magnus was still oblivious enough to ignore the obvious and believe that he was deserving of Alec. "I said that I didn't deserve you, that you deserved so much better. And you told me that it didn't matter, because you wanted me."

Magnus held his breath, trying to calm the steady flow of tears.

"Well," Alec kissed him, tenderly. "I want you."

"Why?" Magnus asked, looking down at his hands and sniffling. "I'm-"

"You're beautiful." Alec sighed, "even when you're not wearing your eyeliner or your hair isn't gelled up and it's just in your face. Even when you've just woken up and you're all bleary eyed and sleepy. When you're cranky and mad that I've gotten you out of bed before noon. When you're happy and your nose crinkles and your eyes go all squinty. When you're laughing so hard you can't even kiss me and your whole face is just swallowed up by smile."

"Even when my makeup is running down my face?" Magnus gestured to the mess that had probably become of his eyeliner.

"Even then." Alec smiled. "Especially then."

"I'm not beautiful."

"You are to me. More beautiful than anything else in the world."

"Alec-"

"Magnus." Alec said and his voice wasn't teasing or fond of anything. It was serious and somber. He took one of Magnus' hands and twisted the ring that was around his pinky finger. It was small and silver, with a tiny blue gem that had reminded him of Alec's eyes when he saw it in the shop on one of their trips to town. Those eyes looked up at him and Magnus could barely breathe. "I love you."

And Magnus had another one of those moments. Those moments when the whole world slipped away and all that was left was Alec. Those moments when it didn't matter that he was sitting on the side of the road in a truck or that it was getting late. Nothing mattered, because they were together and they were Magnus and Alec. And because maybe, if this gorgeous, incredible boy could learn how to love him, Magnus could learn how to love himself.

"I am so completely and maddeningly in love with you." Alec whispered. "And I've been trying to pretend that it's not happening because I don't want to lose you. But I'm in love with you. And I'm not sure I haven't been in love with you since you opened that door and gaped at me like a fish." He laughed and Magnus joined him, hiccupy and giddy. "Or if I fell in love when you talked about Oreos or blabbered on about the importance of scarves. I don't know when it happened. I'm not sure when it started and not sure I'm ever going to be able to stop."

"You love me." Magnus said slowly, gripping Alec's hands tightly. "You actually love me."

"More than anything." Alec whispered. "And you don't have to say it back, because I don't need you to. I just need you to be happy." Magnus wanted to say it back, but couldn't find the words. But for once, he wasn't scared about not getting the chance to say it. This was Alec and there would be hours, days, weeks, and maybe - if he was lucky- years to say it back. To say it back a million times over in a million different ways.

"I can do that." Magnus murmured, wrapping his arms around Alec's neck and burrowing his face there. "For you, I can do anything."

They stayed there. Magnus wasn't sure if it was minutes or hours, but slowly Alec started the truck back up and Magnus stayed there. He was almost in Alec's lap and his head was resting in the crook of Alec's neck. He propped his feet up on the bench and closed his eyes, breathing in Alec and savouring him. The boy who loved him. The beautiful country boy who honest to god loved him.

He wasn't one for cliche sayings or for stupid analogies. But when he heard Alec whispering those words to him, over and over on that drive home, Magnus felt invincible. He didn't need his father's approval or a damn thing in the world, because he had Alec and that was more than enough.

They held hands in the truck and all the way into the house, not parting for a moment. When Alec went to let go, kissing him goodnight in front of his room, Magnus shook his head.

"Stay." He pleaded, his whisper catching in his throat. The hallway was dark and empty, the rest of the family asleep. Alec nodded and slipped out of his t-shirt, Magnus doing the same and the two of them sliding under the covers in their jeans. Alec tangled his legs with Magnus' and let his free hand curl around Magnus' shoulders and into his hair. Magnus let his head fall to Alec's chest.

And then they were both cuddled up in Magnus' bed, looking at his white roof and listening to his heartbeat. And he looked up and saw Alec's eyes, practically glowing in the dark and looking at him with pure love. It was quiet and perfect and the moonlight came in and caught Alec's face in all the right ways and then the words were on his tongue and he couldn't stop them. Magnus wasn't sure he even wanted to try and stop them.

"I love you too."