The seasons gradually changed, and as the time passed the connection Roxas felt with Axel only seemed to get deeper. He was sure the redhead felt the same way. The gentle way they touched, the way Axel looked at him sometimes, his green eyes warm and intense, the way they made love… everything was wonderful.

Unfortunately, nothing could last forever. Roxas had been uneasily aware for weeks that Astrid wasn't doing well at all. Axel would come back from his morning meetings with his twin looking sad and drained, but wouldn't say why. He didn't need to. They both knew.

Roxas looked out the window, pleased to see the snow was melting and the crocuses were starting to peek out. The weather had turned, and it would officially be spring soon. Then he smiled as he felt warm arms around him, and blinked as he felt a drop of water hit his shoulder.

"Axel?" Roxas turned and paled as he realized Axel was quietly crying. He hugged the redhead tightly as Axel tried to speak.

"Astrid… she…" Axel sobbed harshly for a moment before managing to get himself under control. "She died last night." Axel dissolved into tears as Roxas tried to comfort him.

"It's okay Axel, shh… I'm here for you…" Roxas murmured in his ear, running his hands through beautiful red spikes. He guided the redhead back to the bed, just holding him close and comforting him.

"Have to take you back to your family." Axel mumbled, eyes tightly closed as he pressed his face against Roxas' chest. Roxas swallowed, feeling like his heart was seizing. Yes, he wanted to see his family, but not at the cost of losing Axel. And certainly not like this.

"Not right now." Roxas said soothingly, and Axel sniffed, nodding.

"No… can't pilot a helicopter like this…" Axel knew he was far too upset for anything that important. He felt like the light was being ripped out of his heart. The only thing he had to ground him right now was Roxas. The blond seemed to understand that, cuddling him close.

"It's okay Axel. Take as long as you need, I'll be here for you." Roxas bit his lip, then decided to think about it later. Right now Axel needed comfort. The redhead seemed to feel the same way because he nodded, relaxing into Roxas' arms.

"Thanks Roxas." Axel refused to think about losing his lover, and just concentrated on the moment. The moment was all he had.

It was several days before Axel felt he was recovered enough to safely pilot the helicopter. Roxas couldn't help but think of the future, but it made him feel helpless. If Axel went with him he was going to be arrested. Even if Roxas didn't cooperate the police would still press charges, and for good reason. How could they stay together? Roxas didn't want to give up his family.

"Axel…" Roxas hesitated before boarding the helicopter as Axel looked down at him questioningly. The redhead was already behind the controls. Roxas finally shook his head and climbed aboard. Axel took a deep breath, then started the engines.

"It's going to take us about three hours to reach the landing pad in your town. There's a barf bag in the overhead if you need it." Roxas blinked, momentarily diverted from his feelings.

"My town has a landing pad?" He wasn't aware of that. Axel nodded.

"I'm not the only person with a cabin in the woods, most towns have some area for helicopters." It didn't take much space for a helicopter to land, just a flat field really. Roxas looked out the window as the helicopter lifted off. It was the first time he'd ever taken a ride in a helicopter… well, conscious anyway… and he was fascinated to see how the scenery spread out below them. The forest was amazingly beautiful from overhead, a great canopy of green. But not even the majesty of nature could completely take his mind off the situation. How could he just let Axel go?

There was no conversation during the flight. Roxas couldn't think of anything to say, and Axel seemed to feel the same. Roxas vaguely wished he had brought something to distract himself with. Axel at least had the helicopter controls to concentrate on. The scenery below, though, started to gradually change. They began passing over roads, houses, signs of civilization. They even passed over a small village, and Roxas thought he recognized it. They were getting close. He swallowed hard as the helicopter came in for a landing. Axel deposited the machine with the ease of long practice and hopped out, going to the other side to help him down. Roxas blushed, but didn't refuse his hand.

"C'mon, I think there's an ATM at the café over there." Roxas nodded. He knew there was, although he was already worried about Axel. This was a small town, someone might recognize him and call the police before the redhead could leave. Fortunately, the café was almost empty and no one even glanced over when they went right to the ATM. "Here… it's all I can give you to make up for all this." Axel handed him a wad of bills, and Roxas shook his head.

"The money doesn't matter Axel." He only really needed enough to call a taxi to take him home. Roxas looked up at the taller man, feeling very worried as well as in pain. "Axel, are you going to be alright?" Axel smiled, and it was so beautiful Roxas felt like his heart might break.

"I'll be fine Roxas." Roxas frowned up at the redhead, seeing a strange peace in his green eyes. And it worried him more than tears, although he couldn't have said why. Axel lowered his head, catching Roxas' lips for a long, lingering kiss. Then Axel stepped back, smiling sadly, and turned to walk away.

Roxas watched him go for a moment, then followed him out of the café and into the street. Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong. But what? Besides the whole situation. Snippets of conversation suddenly came back to him.

"You're that sure they wouldn't catch you?"

"No, just confident it wouldn't matter."

"Don't just vanish on me, please, or do anything rash."

"It would be a perfect branch to hang myself from."

Roxas gasped as a sudden, icy certainty touched his heart. "Axel!" Roxas ran after him, hugging the surprised redhead from behind and stopping him in his tracks. "Don't! Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't do it." He looked up, catching the flash of something like guilt in green eyes. "You're going to kill yourself, aren't you?" Axel was silent, just looking away, and Roxas knew he was right. "Axel, you can't! I love you."

"Roxy." Axel looked back, his voice husky and eyes bright with unshed tears. "I-I love you too. I love you so much, but it's impossible. If I stay I'll go to jail and we won't be together a-anyway." Roxas glared up at him, his blue eyes misty with his own held back tears.

"Then go to jail! I'll bring you a-a cake with a file in it! But you can't die, you just can't." Roxas gripped Axel's hair and pulled the redhead into a deep, painful kiss. Axel hugged the smaller blond tightly, running a hand through spiky golden hair. "Don't go. Please, don't go." Roxas sounded close to tears, and Axel shuddered as he felt something in himself breaking.

"I'll stay." Axel had never really considered going to jail as an option, but… why not, really? Roxas could visit him. He'd get out eventually, maybe sooner rather than later. Kidnapping was serious but Roxas was unhurt, and he had information about his father the police would dearly love to have. Surely that would be good for something? Axel decided not to think about it. His knowledge of the law came from episodes of CSI and Law and Order. Roxas hugged him even more tightly for a moment, then let go, sniffing and rubbing his eyes.

"C'mon, I'll call Sora and see what we should do." Axel nodded, following Roxas to a payphone. "Got any coins?"

"Uh, yeah." Axel fished out some change, passing it to the blond, and he quickly placed a call to Sora's cell.

"Come on Sora, pick up the phone." Roxas muttered as it rang and rang. But finally there was a click.

"Hello?" Sora sounded his usual self, chirpy and bright and Roxas felt his heart melting a bit. It was so good to hear his brother again.

"Hey Sora." Roxas grinned at the dead silence on the other end, then had to move the receiver away from his ear as Sora shrieked.

"OHMYGOD Roxas! Where have you been! Are you okay? He really let you go? Where are you?" Roxas listened patiently for a little longer as Sora ran on, then finally cut in.

"Sora, you're babbling! Get it together." He ordered, but couldn't keep the laughter out of his voice. "I'm in front of the café on main street. Um, this is going to sound a little weird but he's with me. Is there some safe place to meet? I mean, I don't want mom to come after him with a butcher knife. Oh, his name is Axel." There was no point in keeping things secret now.

"The Axel you met at the bar? Uh, mom kicked me out actually although she let me come home for Christmas dinner." Roxas blinked at that. "She actually said I could come back home last week, but I decided to stay with Riku. Come over to his apartment, I'll meet you there!"

"No problem. Actually, we can just walk, we should be there in about a half hour." It wasn't that far to walk. "See you there Sora."

"See you Roxas! Oh god I'm so glad you're okay!" The line went dead and Roxas grinned, imagining Sora running all the way home. It was especially amusing because he was sure the brunette was.

"You'll like Sora," Roxas said to Axel as they walked. "He's such a total ray of sunshine." Axel smiled, a touch sadly, and Roxas was reminded that he'd just lost his twin sister.

"He sounds great. I can't wait to meet him." Axel had already gotten a good picture of Sora from talking to Roxas, and the brunette did sound sweet. Riku apparently had a lot more rough edges, but Axel was looking forward to meeting him too. Although he didn't expect any of them to like him. That would have been a ridiculous hope, given that he'd kidnapped Roxas and held him for over half a year. They walked quickly to Riku's apartment, and Axel glanced around curiously as he walked. He hadn't seen much of the town last time he'd been there. In general the place seemed a little run down, a little tired, but still very charming. He wouldn't have minded living there. Maybe he would get a chance, after he'd served his time. Although… Axel bit his lip, thinking. A town this size wouldn't have a real jail, the kind he was likely going to. That would make seeing Roxas hard.

Roxas knocked on the door to Riku's apartment and had barely lifted his hand when the door flew open and he was glomped by a very enthusiastic Sora. Axel blinked, a bit amazed by how similar the brothers looked. Then Sora stared at him warily and tried to pull Roxas behind him.

"Sora!" Roxas pulled away, happy but a touch irritated at his twins protectiveness. "It's okay, really. Is Riku home?"

"Not yet." Sora wasn't about to be distracted, though. He pulled them both inside, slammed the door then went right up to Axel, poking him in the chest. "How could you do that! We've been worried sick about Roxas! We thought he was dead for weeks! Months!" Axel was a bit taken aback. Being remonstrated by Sora was a bit like being gnawed on by a rabid bunny rabbit. Very odd but not really something to be taken lightly.

"I'm sorry." Axel said humbly as he looked into furious blue eyes. "I know it was wrong, I knew it at the time and I did it anyway." Axel shrugged, feeling oddly helpless as Sora scowled at him. "Sorry?" He didn't really know what else to say.

"Sora, leave him alone!" Roxas growled, yanking his brother back and making Sora glare at him. But then Sora melted, giving Roxas another tight hug. Roxas smiled and hugged him back as the door opened.

"Sora, I got your call-ah!" Riku was startled to see Roxas and could easily figure out who Axel must be. Aquamarine eyes traveled up and down Axel for a moment before Riku grinned. "I see what you meant about him being good looking."

"Riku!" Sora was appalled at his boyfriend, punching him in the arm as Roxas blushed and Axel grinned. "That is totally not appropriate!"

"We've got Roxas and his kidnapper in our apartment, Sora. I don't think there's etiquette for this sort of thing." Riku pointed out, them sobered. "Sora, I'm sorry. Your mom has already called the cops." Axel swallowed and Roxas moved over to him, taking Axel's hand. "I was at her place fixing the screens and she heard the call… I'm sorry." Riku didn't really blame Roxas' mom at all. Calling the police was the logical thing to do.

"It's okay." Axel said huskily. "I was going to hand myself in anyway." Roxas caught the fear in his voice, though, and winced. Axel had no experience with jail at all and he was afraid. Roxas turned to hug the redhead, wishing desperately that things didn't have to be this way. But it was too late now. "Wish me luck, Roxas."

"I'll wait for you." He promised, and he would. He would wait for Axel as long as necessary. Axel smiled, gently cupping his cheek with one hand and lowering his face for-

"Freeze!" The barked command made Axel wince and pull away from Roxas, lifting his hands into the air. It was the first time he'd ever been arrested, and it was pretty much what he'd expected. Axel let them handcuff him and patiently listened as he was read his rights.

"I understand." He glanced over to where Roxas was being held back by Sora and Riku. He was clearly finding it very hard to just watch. "Remember to send me a cake with a file in, Roxas." Axel managed a smile as he was pulled out of the room, but couldn't quite keep the fear out of his eyes. What was jail going to be like?

He would just have to see. Axel comforted himself with the thought that it couldn't possibly be worse than what he'd lived with most of his life.