Chapter 21

She begs, she really begs even though she doesn't exactly know what she is begging for, maybe for that moment of peace, maybe for that phantom pf happiness that brushes away swiftly before she could grab on to it. It was as if she could never escape the blinding clutches of hell, as if there was no light left in the end of her tunnel

She feels as if everything is rushing with speed, fading away in to cluster of clouds and her fingers are constantly dancing in the wisp of air, searching desperately for some kind of magic anchor that would just pause or rewind her life, because she doesn't want to proceed any further without him, without the wings that held her in the sky.

And now, she is just falling, tumbling down from the highest point of her life. It pains, it aches as the reality seeps in, in to her skin, her bones, her heart, until there are no layers to sink in, until it reaches the center of her soul and it forms in to a tiny dot that promises to haunt her for the rest of her forever.

She cries a river and it still doesn't float her safe to the warm banks, no, it drowns her. She feels like a crumbled old piece of a paper, she no longer feels like a poetry, because she is just a page that no one wants to ink, because she feels as if she is torn.

She feels as if she walks in the grasses of thorn every time he takes a walk in the garden with her. She feels as if the universe has suddenly grown darker and colder, just to numb her whimpering heart, whenever he demands to have a sword training session with her, whenever he says – 'Come miko, I am bored and I think I could sharpen my already impeccable fighting skills against your formidable holy powers'- for which the too goodly good miko gives him an eye roll, a smirk and flips her really, really long hair.

Kagome had had enough.

She had enough of just turning around every corner of the castle to find someone, everyone praising about –'Oh my goodness, I can sense her pure powers all the way from the eastern wing'.

Kagome had enough of biting her lip and turning away before anyone could see the threatening tears crawl all the way from the depth of her soul.

Stupid Kikiyo.

Stupid Kikiyo with great powers and really long hair that could apparently be used to sew the royal gowns for the Kings.

Because- 'Oh, isn't her hair just the finest silk'. Kagome had to run across her chambers to promptly puke, because the whole of the castle gushing out about the new ageless priestess was plainly sickening and nauseating.

And the worst was, Sesshomaru hasn't been the same. It's been weeks, months even, since he had had a decent conversation with her. He trains Shippo at the crack of the dawn, makes sure that Inuyasha gets in to heaps of trouble, takes a walk in his mother's gardens and trains with Kikiyo, before he retires back to his own private chambers to read the legends about his grand fathers.

It's been ages since their gazes have collided, ages since they have had their arguments about the laws of nature and universe. So, she pouts each night, refusing to go and demand an explanation, because she was afraid that she may end up crying, and she knew how much he hated the saltiness. Maybe, she could just silently crawl inside his room and chop his hair off, but then she would be caught before she could even get away and probably it would be the end of the whole world.

It would be a catastrophe, an apocalypse.

So, she drops her brilliant ideas and continues to stroll down the brazen corridors under the guide of moon and the stars. Her treacherous feet, of course, takes her to his chamber and she stands there, afraid to knock, afraid to stroll in like she usually does, afraid to find him writing poems about the sublime long hair of certain priestess whom she had begun to hate. It aches her heart in levels of ineffable twinge, because she doesn't understand, she doesn't begin to comprehend what was wrong with her, with them.

It takes more than few minutes for her to realize that he would have sniffed her presence and would have opened the bronze door if he wants to. The door remained unopened, her lips started to quiver, the silk gown that she was draped in suddenly felt heavier, because, she wanted to just sit down and maybe cry.

And this time, instead of a river, she may cry an ocean.

So, she started to walk back towards her room, not once noticing that his door was indeed closed because he was in her chamber, replacing the candles that had melted, and dropping the soft petals of velvet flowers under her pillows so she could sleep through the night having a dream of spring, sunshine and blue skies.

But, no, she would not know all those little things that he still does for her, because she believed that she was just a memory to him.

Kagome was just blind as such.

~.~.~.~

Her brooding thoughts weren't unnoticed by certain Lady who wished she could just intervene and make all the things right.

But, no, she would not dare to step in and take control. Not again, not after what she had once done. Inukimi was mad, mad at her mate for not ordering his son not to be stupid and mad at Kagome for being too ignorant.

Kikiyo was more like a match for her step son, Inuyasha. Inukimi could just see the sprouts of companionship between them and it nerved her that everyone else was just- so blind. Besides, Kagome had grown a lot stronger under the guidance of Kikiyo, and there was absolutely no way for the Lady fo the West could hate the girl, it was all going perfectly well until Sesshomaru was tired of having his evenings spent idle.

It really wasn't his fault to have a well training sessions with someone who once belonged to an enemy clan.

She wished she could just make Sesshomaru jealous, just a little bit, to let him rekindle all those forgotten anger, all those rightful claims that he has on Kagome.

And then it hit her.

She knows she just can't step in and take the strings, because the fate wouldn't be so kind to her the second time. So, her eyes slides along, across the vast expanse of her furnished chamber, across her littering jewelry, until her gaze reached those of her husbands.

"Oh Darling.." She starts to sing.

~.~.~.~

She smiles as if she holds a secret, as if she carries a map to the dusted path of hidden treasure, as if the heavens have whispered to her all the answers to the question that the mortal world ever had.

She smiles.

And so he beams as if the Universe is suddenly a brighter place to live, he feels the feeling of content in the center of his chest, a small bubble of warmth spreads over his heart, tickles the corners of his skin, it spreads, like happiness, like joy.

And he rarely feels like this, so he duly ignores the shout of rationality when his wife smiled at him, as if she finally forgave him for the all the mistakes that he had once done.

"Yes?" Inutaisho answers, when his mate called for him.

"You know it's been quite some time…actually, it's been more than a year, since we had the alliance meeting with the Wolves." She says, her elegant silver brow raises and he swears it's the most beautiful art he had ever seen.

"Yes, I suppose, a meeting is long due. When do you suppose we could arrange for a meeting, maybe invite the whole lot of royal clan and have a tea?" Inutaish beams, his royal fur curling across his torso, plush and regal.

"A marvelous idea, my love. I will arrange for the meeting then, send invites in the finest silks, make fine arrangements for the wolf prince to stay for a day or two" She says and smiles again. As if the she had done something that is extremely satisfactory, as if she had finally figured out who had hung the glittering stars in the bleeding sky.

~.~.~.~.~

The skies had turned purple and it was speckled with star dusts, so vibrant, radiant. The moon was there, hanging low, floating and waiting to sing the lullabies.

It reminds her of him.

Her whole of universe narrows down to him, shrinking to the size of her personified definition of perfectness, just him and his silver locks, his small nearly unnoticeable smile, nothing else really matters, not even the tiny drops of heaven that starts to pour, not even the deep cracks of sky and definitely not the slow rumble of echoes across the expanse.

And Kagome knows, how stupid it is, to make someone her Sun, to make someone her only epitome of bliss, she knows it's dangerous, but the inferno in her heart purrs, glows in the dark, duly annihilates the doubts that lurks in the shadows.

The rhythmic beats against her chest are way too loud, like powerful crashes of waves against the grey rocks, eroding her soul, consuming her life.

She wants all those hours that they have spent bickering, all those ideas that they brainstorm to get Inuyasha pouty, because, it's their thing, it's their own personal world, where nothing else matters, where only their laughs will be heard in the corridors of the castle and where only the air and the drapes of silk that hides the Sun knows their secret places, their own corners, where they hide little treasures like a withered petal of forest flower, a fang of dragon, the broken glass of prism, the golden compass that they store from one of the guards, the little lens that the rude minister uses to study.

And now, with her new found ability to fire away mean demons, she had lost the one thing that she had held dearer than her life.

Or, she thinks she had lost. Because, Kagome was still in shadows and her world wasn't bright enough to make her understand that he hides away because he thinks she no longer needs him.

The fate is cruel like that.

There must be something, anything written in the laws of Universe, maybe just a small scribble in the corners if age old rusting page, there must be a golden rule bookmarked with the fallen feathers is the angels, that no man should ever look ethereal under the paint of the moon, no man should ever have eye lashes that are curved, long and sinful like he has.

But, there isn't, there isn't any quirk that is inked in the ancient pages tied together in the Demon's book of forbidden delicacies. Not even a small smudge.

She stands still, hypnotized under the silvery kiss of the moon, starring across the olive sheen of small meadow at the windows of his chamber, imagining the way his eyes would shine in the dark, the diluted shade of mustard, gold and hickory, all mixed and added with shines from the corners of Universe.

If she could, she would go around and carve his name in every stone that is worth to be treasured, if she could, she would yell his name out in the skies, sing sonnets about his cinnamon dipped irises to the stars, so they could all twinkle a bit harder, attempt to shine a bit brighter, to compete.

If she could, she would immortalize his rare smile and would release it to the world during the dark days, so they can all soak in those pure sunshine and bliss. If she could, Kagome would finally crawl, walk, and run towards him, pour her heart out and show the scars that is imbedded in her soul.

If she could, she would tell him stories and stories of all those dreams about walking along the edges of the seas, hand in hand, under the strokes of rainbows, about those dreams that seems so real at times that she refused to wake up, that there were days where she hated the Sun for having shown up bright and chased the moon.

If she could, she would. But Kagome is confused, over whelmed with all this need to just see him and talk to him. So she hides away, like the moon, under the shadows, willing to just fade away in the air, wishing she had all those perfect words and magic spells to just let him know that she is just a blank page without him, that she is just a mutilated bird, without wings to fly, that she is just a grey crevice without the fill of any hue, that she is almost just a shell.

~.~.~.~.~

It was already dawn and the Heir to the West had a sleepless night. He tried to re write the strategic battle plans, the lessons that had tattooed itself in his bones, but it wasn't enough. His mind always drifted back to her smile and her giggles, the sound that he lately hasn't heard, at all.

So, he stayed in his room, behind the royal doors, skipping his lessons and court rooms, unaware that the evening that strolled by would be a time of test, a time that would test his patience.

He was really not prepared to see her in his mother's garden's, picking up roses, lilies and all those wild blooms that were put to shame instantly next to her blossoming eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Sesshomaru asked, before he could stop himself, before he could curl his tongue and swallow all the words that danced in the tip of his lips.

And she blinked, as if the moment was surreal, as if she was testing her brains, looking in to the corners of her mind to analyze whether it was a dream or a reality.

"Um, the Lady told me to pick up the flowers, because, we are expecting some guests for the tea and she needs the petals to scent the rooms and to decorate." She says, rushed, excited and blushed. Her voice reaches out to him, rings in his ears, floods his brain, his fibers, his bones, his very being, because, its been days since he had heard her talk, since he had marveled at her beautiful voice.

She looked like autumn under the crispy yellow of the midday Sun, bright, bold and warm, ready to bring any foe to his knee and grace him with words of silent destruction. Because, she shines like that, speckled with huge magnitudes of joy, elated with sprouts of spring and warm as a home brewed coffee. She is a worshipped ornate in his life, a poem in his heart and looked at her as if she is a drop from the wines of Gods, as if she is a missing piece of heaven itself.

Maybe she is, in his eyes.

And so, he stares at her, unable to look away, because, she is an elixir of purity, unadulterated warmth, gift wrapped with love. She is a cocktail of labyrinth and alloys of riddles.

She is like that, her smile having the magic beans that could splatter, splash and paint the whole of galaxy in to what could possibly be defined as purest joy.

"I hope you enjoyed your session with Kikiyo, I hope it was fruitful" She says and the silver haired demon could practically taste the bitterness that leaves a trail in her lips. He frowns, because, it doesn't make sense.

Doesn't make any sense.

Because, isn't the miko the one who chased away all the doubts that his Kagome had, the one who made her giggle, like he once used to.

The one who replaced him in her life?

"Yes" He answerd. A little irritated that even their little conversation includes the miko. It nerved him that his brother was already smitten with the ageless priestess, his subjects were already drowned by her illusion of superiority.

And he hated the fact that Kagome was constantly compared to her. Doesn't anyone know that his Kagome was different? More resplendent? More cheerful and shining?

She was a wild flower among the home grown lilies, more of a neon pink among the subtle corals, a snowflake in the land of dessert, never to fit in, never to bow and be ruled. It was that spark, that rebel inside her that had anchored his soul.

And so, he was left wordless when he saw her shrinking away, as if waiting to erase her existence. It pained him to see that her eyes had a mist, it pained him to see her force a smile, as if it was okay for her to hold a façade in front of him.

It was all wrong.

It felt too wrong.

It left him confused, blinded him in a haze and when he looked again, she was already gone, with basket full of warm flowers, leaving his heart mangled in the thorns.

~.~.~

A/n : I know its sappy! But it's okay, they are still teenagers and they are allowed to be hopelessly in love : )

Love you all !

Oh, and the next chapter – Jealous Sesshomaru! : )