And four years later...it's finished? I actually wrote this once before, but it was terrible and I couldn't bring myself to post it. So here is "final chapter 2.0" as it's labelled on my laptop, 1.5k longer than the original draft and hopefully a justified ending. I avoided time skips in this one and just referenced the passing of time instead. (My vague ass got lazy, okay?)


The rest of Christmas came and went in a flurry of Michael Bublé songs, eggnog and terrible fruit cake. Before long, Magnus was counting down the New Year sandwiched between a boozy Camille and an ever-irritated Will.

"This couch was not built for three people—"

"Technically," Magnus sighed, taking a sip of warm, shitty beer, "I think it's a love seat."

"Does that mean that this is a threesome?" Camille asked, sounding a little too close to the level of alcohol that usually gave Magnus a lapful of vomit for his comfort.

"And with that," Will huffed, "I'm leaving." He got up from the seat, off to find Jem or Tessa certainly, though Magnus wasn't sure where they were all sitting in terms of the everyone-is-in-love-with-everyone situation and couldn't puzzle out which of them he was actually looking for.

They were all piled into Ragnor's house, well them and a collection of "friends" that Magnus didn't recognize. He was trying not to go nuts with the alcohol, the memory of the Christmas party hangover fresh in his mind, and as a result he was confused and a little bit bored. New Years was still half an hour away and Magnus was ready for it to be done. The entire year had been a landslide of weird emotions, he'd had enough of it.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm?"

Camille was looking at him, her eyes giant and watery. "Are you sad?" She asked, gnawing on her bottom lip.

"No?" Magnus offered. "Not really."

"Okay," she said, snuggling into his ribs, "I just wanted to check because you've been a little distant lately, with the Alec thing and whatnot."

Ah, the Alec thing. Camille was referring to the fact that Magnus was trying to move on from Alec. Camille was entirely unaware that Magnus and Alec talked on a daily basis, exchanging stupid snapchats and even stupider texts. She thought that Magnus was up at night, tossing and turning, instead of up at night whispering to Alec on the phone and muffling laughter into his palm.

"I'm fine," Magnus said softly. Which was remarkably untrue, but would suffice.

The next half an hour was much like the rest of the year had been, a blur of colours and laughter and confusion. Camille pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek and attempted to kiss Ragnor's eyeball—something the other was a little too drunk to properly refuse or accept.

And then Magnus was making his way home in the dark, the streets full of people shouting and screaming in the new year, with his friends crashing at Ragnor's or in cabs on the way home. He lived close enough that there was no point in cabbing home and despite the cold, he felt like the fresh air was doing him some good. Hands still cold, but feeling full and happy, Magnus collapsed on his bed.


"New year, new you?"

"I got up at noon."

"So," Alec smiled, "nothing new then?"

"Not really," Magnus said, though he couldn't help but grin back. The cup of coffee in his hand was really unnecessary given the fact that it was already mid afternoon, but he'd made it out of reflex and now felt like he kind of had to drink it. "How was the New Year there?"

"Jace threw up in my lap?"

"Fun?"

"No. Not fun. No fun. Bad times."

Magnus snorted into his cup. "I'm sorry for your suffering. I, however, managed to go puke free last night."

"You lucky bastard."

"Have you made a choice about college yet?" He asked the question hesitantly, knowing that the idea had been bouncing around in Alec's head for a while. Whether or not Alec wanted to go to school and where he wanted to go was something that Alec couldn't seem to settle on. Magnus didn't want to push NYU—though he really wanted to push NYU—and he knew that most of the Lightwoods wanted him to go to UT Austin, where he wouldn't be nearly as far from home.

There was a silence on the other line for so long that Magnus wondered if Alec had hung up. "No," he admitted, "though Izzy thinks that I'm being ridiculous. I've applied and everything—" he didn't say where "—but I still don't know what the hell I'm going to pick if they accept me."

"I'll support you no matter where you go," Magnus said softly. "I won't be mad if you go to UT Austin—"

"But NYU—"

"Is only if you want it."

"I have no idea what the hell I want." He was angry and upset and Magnus wished for a moment that they could be in the same place. He wanted to run his fingers through Alec's hair and promise him that he wouldn't be mad if Alec didn't pick him. He understood what family meant to this boy, this boy that meant the world to him, and he would never ask Alec to pick him like this.

"Alec—"

"If I went to NYU," Alec paused, "if I went to NYU, could we try this again? You and me?"

Magnus couldn't breathe.

"Yeah. If you want?" Being together, right and proper. Holding hands and kissing and not pretending like they were friends or pen pals or whatever the fuck they were masquerading as.

Alec took in a breath like he was going to say something else, but was interrupted by Izzy screaming somewhere. "And it looks like I've got to go," Alec laughed.

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow? I'm supposed to go see some terrible movie with Cam this afternoon."

"Tomorrow sounds good."

"Tomorrow."

The line clicked off and Magnus sighed loudly, for no one's benefit but his own as neither of his parents were home. They'd stopped saying goodbye on the phone because they weren't really saying goodbye in this strange, long, ongoing conversation.


"I'm so tired."

"School that bad?"

"Alexander, I swear it was invented just to torment me."

"The world is out to get you."

"I know."


"Do you want to know how many cups of coffee I had today?"

"Magnus—"

"It's an impressive number I promise you."

"Why is it that every time that we talk you're sleep deprived?"

"Up all night thinking of you."

"…"

"Did you hang up?"

"Unfortunately, no."


"Hello?"

"You sound dreadful, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Wow, hi Magnus. So nice to hear from you—"

"What happened?"

"Jace gave me his cold."

"That's terrible. How did that happen? I thought you were keeping him at least a metre away until he got better."

"I fell asleep on the couch and woke up when he sneezed on my face."

"That's so unpleasant."

"You're telling me."

"I'm so glad I'm an only child."


"Has he decided yet?" Camille asked, leaning over the table to snag one of Magnus' fries. They rarely ate at the cafeteria of their high school because most of the food had been deemed inedible, but the fries were perfect—if overpriced—and meant that Camille and Magnus didn't have to venture out into the rain.

"What?"

"Don't give me that bullshit. I'm aware you're still talking to Alec, and I'm aware that his college decision is almost as important to you as your own."

Magnus hummed, giving her reaching hand a scathing look that she answered with a smirk. "If he has, he hasn't told me." The statement came out a little more bitter than Magnus had intended, but there was no taking it back now, even if Camille's concerned frown grated on his nerves.

"M—"

"I don't really want to think about it," Magnus admitted.

"Why not?"

"Because I—" He paused. "I don't know, I guess I'm afraid with either thing that he chooses."

"You don't want him to pick NYU? I kind of assumed that given the agreement that you guys would get back together if you could get in the same city—"

"Of course I want him to pick NYU, but I want him to want to pick NYU. I don't want him to pick it simply because he's picking me." Magnus stabbed a fry into the ketchup. "I feel like I'm asking him to pick between his family and me. And I can't decide if it's worse that I'm selfish enough to want him to pick me, or that I'm asking him to pick at all."

"Do you think that you have a future together?" Camille asked.

The future wasn't something that Magnus liked to think about. The past was long gone and the future always seemed pretty far away. He liked the present, the here and the now. If you spent all your time looking one way or the other, you would miss all the good things that were right in front of you.

But with graduation and college choices looming on the horizon, all anyone wanted to do was look back and talk about all the times they'd had or look forward and talk about all that they would have. Camille was going away for school, close enough that she could drive home for the weekend, but far enough that it was unlikely she would. Magnus felt like there were so many things that he wanted to say to her, so many that he hadn't said yet, but he bit his tongue and watched her wait for him to answer.

He wasn't pondering his future with Alec, he didn't need to. That was simple enough for him to answer. He was, instead, looking at her. Looking in a way that he didn't very often. Her eyes were huge, he realized, big enough that they looked like they'd been photoshopped that way. A vivid, but dark green. Her hair was fair and thin, and he knew that her eyebrows and eyelashes were similarly light to the point of being invisible if she wasn't coating them in dark makeup. He could remember a time when he didn't know her, but couldn't imagine what that life had been like, what it might be like when she'd leave.

That was the problem with people, he supposed, they were so hard to capture, so hard to catch and remember in the right light. Someday, maybe, he would delude himself into thinking that he could remember the paleness of her skin and the way that her fingers felt grasping onto his arm. He would have some wafer thin memory of her smile, of her laugh. But he would have forgotten all of the important things. He would have forgotten the way that his lungs felt like they were going to burst when they saw her when he hadn't for a while. The smell of perfume and the feeling of her lipstick sticky against his cheek.

"What are you thinking about?" She said, knowingly.

"You."

"Flattering things I'd imagine?"

"Only the best things."

But that wasn't true. That was the funny thing about friendship, really good friendship. Magnus knew that Camille wasn't the best person in some ways, but she was his person. After a brief, but awkward, attempt at dating that had left both of them snarling and snapping at each other, they'd tried being friends instead.

It was different this way, better if Magnus was honest. He could remember the way that his chest ached when they fought, the way that she'd yelled and cried and he'd just wanted to walk away. He remembered the days when he didn't think there was anything worth saving between them at all.

"Do you think we'll be friends in the future?" Magnus asked softly. "And don't lie to me."

Camille opened her mouth and then closed it, looking at Magnus carefully. He wondered what she saw, what she was thinking of.

"I don't know," she said, "truthfully I have no idea. But, for whatever it's worth, it would be an honour to grow old with you Magnus Bane." She held up a fry with an honest, but bittersweet smile.

"And it would be an honour to grow old with you, Camille Belcourt." He tapped a fry against hers, grinning.

A hand reached around Magnus' back, snagging a fry. Magnus huffed. "Excuse you sir."

"Calm down," Ragnor snorted, sliding onto the bench next to him. The cafeteria tables were long and relatively filthy, but no one had sat near them, so there was plenty of space for Ragnor to stretch his legs out. Catarina followed behind him, a small smile on her face. Magnus couldn't help but beam back, still unused to, but delighted to have his friend back.

"What are you two talking about?" She asked.

"The future."

Ragnor sighed. "Well that's depressing, we'll be old—"

"How?" Magnus asked, laughing. "You're basically an old man already."

"Exactly," Ragnor said, "I'm not looking forward to dying."

"Dying is for the foolish Ragnor," Magnus smiled, "we are not fools."

"What are we then?" Camille asked.

"Gods—"

"Demons more like," Will offered and Magnus turned to scowl at him. "Look at the lot of you—"

"I will dance on your grave," Magnus told him, running a hand through his hair with a haughty sigh. "And it will be fun."

Will laughed.

"Why are we talking about the future?" Ragnor asked, sneaking another one of Magnus' fries and passing one across the table to Cat while he was giving Will third degree burns with his glare.

"Magnus and I were wondering if we'll be friends in the future."

"Will we be friends in the future?" Magnus asked Ragnor, ignoring the fact that his friend's arm was ducking under his again to get ketchup this time.

"Of course," Ragnor said, his smile open and genuine. "You and I will be friends for centuries Maggie."

"Because we're Gods?"

"Gods, Magnus, untouchable Gods."

"Demons."

"Shut up Will."


Before Magnus could blink, the snow and the rain were gone in favour of sunshine and he was standing in front of the mirror trying to tie a tie so that they'd let him graduate. He didn't see the point in the shirt and the tie if no one would be able to see it under the gown, but his mother's instructions had been firm.

"You look wonderful." Magnus wanted to laugh, it was almost certain that if he were to think of his mother, she would appear like magic, floating into the room looking, like always, the picture of grace. Magnus was anything but graceful with the mess of a tie around his neck, but his mother didn't seem to think so.

"I look like I'm going to be made of sweat in a few hours," Magnus sighed, "it's too hot for this shirt, I'm telling you—"

"And I told you to get a lighter dress shirt weeks ago, but you didn't."

He wasn't going to admit that he'd avoided getting the dress shirt under the hopes that then he could simply wear a t-shirt like he knew that Ragnor was going to, so he settled for another long, dramatic sigh and lowered his hands so that she could fix the knot that he'd created. Her fingers were lithe and quick near his throat and it made him smile. He knew that there would be less of this, less of her hovering and mothering, once he'd moved out and gone to university.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, matching his smile.

"The future." Despite his 'live in the moment' nature, that had seemed to be his answer a lot recently.

"Dangerous territory," she hummed.

"I know."

"Have you been talking to Alec?"

Magnus was quiet. The answer was yes, but it was also a whole hell of a lot more complicated than a simply word. He hadn't wanted to push Alec, and so as a result they hadn't talked at about schools in weeks. Magnus had expected that at some point, Alec would offer the information forward.

But here they were, Magnus was set to graduate today, Alec had been graduated for weeks, and he still had no idea what his not-boyfriend had chosen. And Magnus was beginning to think that it was because Alec hadn't chosen him. That knowing that Magnus would be upset—though he'd try not to say anything to make Alec feel guilty—was keeping Alec from breaking the bad news to him.

"That silence doesn't sound good."

"I think that I ask for too much," Magnus said softly.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I want someone who would give me the world." His mother stepped back to look at his tie and he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked mature, drawn up, what he should be like. But he knew that when the tie came off and the dress shirt followed, he'd be the same kid that he had been before, playing at being older than he was and failing. "And I don't think there's a rational person that would—"

"Maybe you just haven't met them yet?" His mother's voice wasn't cloying, but Magnus could tell that she'd missed the point.

He'd wanted it to be Alec. He'd wanted to have already met the person who would give him everything and wanted him to be the boy from Texas with that twang and that smile that made Magnus' heart melt. When they'd met, he'd at least needed the delusion that it could be Alec. Because Alec loved Magnus even when he was a mess, when he was crying and broken and couldn't even scrape together the dignity to love himself.

"I don't know—"

"You are worth the world." Her voice was sincere and even though she was his mother and there was a part of him that felt like she had to say that whether she believed it or not, he wanted to believe her. "There is no shame in waiting for the person who will give it to you."

She left him there, standing in front of the mirror and wondering why he always felt like he was pretending, after reminding him they needed to leave soon.

He didn't feel real. Not all the time. He was just on pause, waiting for Alec to come back, waiting for his friends to arrive. Constantly waiting to be needed, to be wanted. He didn't think that Alec had picked him, and Magnus was wondering if there was any use in blaming him.

"Would I pick myself?" Magnus asked aloud, meeting his own eyes and frowning. He wasn't sure. If Alec were here, would he still want to date Magnus? What would they become? What would he become if Alec didn't pick him? He could imagine them dating and marrying and having kids and sitting, old and grey, and watching sunsets and laughing about nothing. He could see his future with Alec, but wasn't sure what that future would be if Alec couldn't see it too.

"Fuck this," he said to himself. "We are not going to let this be the end of us. We're Magnus fucking Bane—"

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Magnus whipped around to see Ragnor, wearing an old band t-shirt from a concert none of them remembered attending and leaning against the door. "Jesus H. Christ. How the fuck did you get into my house?"

"The door? Are you talking to yourself?" Ragnor didn't seem to think it was important at all to mention why he was at Magnus' house just before they needed to walk across a stage and grab a little piece of paper they'd been waiting four years for. He just wandered in like it was any old day, standing between Magnus and the mirror and giving him a cheeky smile.

"Maybe a tiny bit."

"Why?"

"I needed a pep talk and there wasn't anyone here." Magnus waved his arms around to demonstrate the lack of people in the room. Ragnor indulged him and looked around, nodding.

"Do you want me to pep talk you?"

"Maybe? I'm not sure—"

Ragnor cleared his throat, snagging the edge of Magnus' chin so their eyes met. "You are Magnus Bane. You exist without boys, without girls, without clothes, without alcohol, without any of us. You are not defined by who loves you. You are not defined by the choices that other people make. Fuck anyone that wants to simplify you down to one thing. Fuck anyone that thinks you are not a complex human being. You've made it this far because you are strong as hell, not because you've been paid a bunch of favours. With help or without, take this as a victory, go out there and kick ass. I know you will."

"Thanks," Magnus said, surprised at how choked up he felt. "I didn't realize you could say things like that about me—"

Ragnor shrugged. "We've been best friends for a million years—"

"Still—"

"I like you, okay? Get over yourself."

"I like you too, Ragnor."

"Thanks. Now, get your ass in gear and let's go fucking graduate."


"We did it!" Camille yelled, flinging her arms around Magnus' neck, as though this had been one final test and not an arbitrary ritual. He swung her around, his nose buried in her neck where he could smell her sweet perfume.

"We did indeed," Catarina said, her eyes glittering. She stood next to Ragnor, who looked a little groggy from the nap that he'd taken during most of the speeches and was leaning ever so slightly on her shoulder.

"Doesn't really feel real, does it?" Jem laughed. Hands in his pockets and hair catching the light, he looked positively dashing. He and Will, beside him, could have been on the cover of a magazine about graduating teens, maybe a school pamphlet of some kind. The look on Tessa's face said that she felt much the same way.

Will sighed loudly. "This means that we're getting old, you know that right? Soon we're going to be having children and talking about the good old days—"

"Just thinking about it makes me shudder," Camille said, leaning back from Magnus but keeping her hands around his neck.

"Group photo!" Jessamine hollered, rushing up to them and throwing her arms around Catarina and Ragnor. "I need one photo of your ugly mugs that I can post online so that I'll look nice in comparison—"

"Is it strange I'm going to miss her?" Magnus whispered to Will.

"Terribly. We'll take you to a psychologist after, find out what's broken and rattling around in your brain."

Magnus laughed and Will snickered, causing Jessamine to give them a fifthly glare that was only slight less harsh than usual. She ushered them all together so that Tessa's brother could take their photo and Magnus couldn't help the smile that was on his face.

This moment, he thought, this wouldn't be the worst moment to live in. It was a game that he used to play with Camille, trying to decide if there were moments they wouldn't hate to live in for years and years. A groundhog day scenario of a single moment.

Will always said they were playing it wrong, and it was not the moment they wanted to stay in, but the moment they would want to be reminded of before they died. What would flash before their eyes, the greatest hits of life.

"I think this is one of my greatest hits," Will said softly, like he could read Magnus' mind. "Just all being together one last time."

"I'd have to agree with you," Magnus whispered back, grinning as Nate took another photo. He had no idea what the future was going to become, but there were handfuls of moments where that didn't matter, where it wouldn't weigh on his mind that he was uncertain, it wouldn't even occur to him.

After a little while of taking more and more photos, Camille and Magnus decided to return their gowns. Magnus' parents had left them to their own devices and Cam had offered to drive him home when they were done reminiscing and hugging people they didn't like and smiling at teachers they couldn't stand. The heat of the day as at its peak, the sun beating down and the humidity was stifling. They passed more than a few kids drowning in sweat and Magnus could barely resist the urge to rip off his tie and dress shirt himself, though Camille didn't seem to feel the heat at all.

"It's so hot I'm going to die," Magnus insisted, following her through the crowd.

"I'm sure you'll live."

He scoffed and fished his phone out, where there was a text waiting.

Sweet Cheeks: How does it feel to be a high school graduate?

Magnus bit his lip and debated replying. It was usually reflex, but after staring himself in the eyes—albeit the mirror—in the morning, he was still terrified for the moment when Alec would tell him he hadn't picked him. Camille noticed his hesitation and asked if there was something wrong.

"Months ago, you asked me if I thought there was a future with me and Alec."

Camille nodded. "And?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes."

"Really?" She didn't sound very surprised.

"Really."

"Are you going to tell him that?"

"I don't know yet," Magnus admitted, running his fingers through his hair. "God, why does everything have to be complicated." Camille laughed and curled a hand around his arm so they were facing each other, a sea of people rushing around them to get to cars and get rid of gowns. Camille's hair was spun gold in the sunlight.

"Welcome, Magnus Bane, to being a human."

"I thought we were Gods," he shot back cheekily, coaxing another laugh out of her.

"And I thought Will said we were demons."

"All depends on where you're standing." Magnus shrugged.

Camille's eyes widened and she smiled. "Well, from where I'm standing, I can see something that I think you're going to want to see."

"Huh?" Magnus turned around to try and figure out what the hell Camille was talking about. The entire world seemed to slow down and stop.

Alec looked exactly the same way that he had in August and yet entirely different at the same time. His hair was long enough that it was starting to look shaggy, which told Magnus that much like when they'd first met, he was putting off getting a hair cut. He wanted to run his fingers through it, it looked soft and long and he could imagine the smell of it. Alec's eyes were the colour of the Texan sky, a rolling, endless blue. He didn't fit in with the background, looked like he'd been photoshopped on top of it. He was brighter and more vivid than anything around him. Magnus blinked, expecting him to disappear and when he didn't he stumbled towards him, ignoring everything in favour of the boy in front of him.

"Holy shit."

Alec smiled. "Hello to you too."

Magnus' eyes darted down to the shirt that his not-boyfriend was wearing. There were three letters on it and Magnus felt like those letters changed his entire life.

"You picked NYU."

"I did."

"When? Why—"

"About a month ago. Because I've spent my entire life trying to make sure that my family was happy. I've spent years trailing after Jace and Izzy, trying to make sure that everything was going to be fine. I thought it was about time I did something to make myself happy." Alec looked down, reaching out for Magnus' hand, Magnus was hesitant to take it. His voice was soft and better than Magnus had remembered. It was deeper than it was on the phone, deep enough that Magnus wanted to swim in it, bathe in the sound of his voice for the rest of his life.

"And that's moving to New York?"

"That's moving to you."

Magnus bit his lip. "Don't say things like that."

"I thought you wanted a fairytale?"

"And I thought we weren't always supposed to get what we want."

Alec's laugh was the best sound that Magnus had ever heard. It was above the clamour behind them, clearer than any conversation that was being had around them. It was all the good things in the world bottled. It was sunny afternoons and sitting passenger seat in the car while Alec tapped his fingers on the wheel. It was like honey, sticky and sweet, clinging to Magnus' fingertips.

"You're right, I should probably leave—" Alec took a step back and Magnus took a step forward while grabbing Alec's hand and pulling him back so they were almost nose to nose, impossibly close.

"Shut the fuck up. You're here now, I'm never going to let you leave again." Alec's hand was rough and warm in Magnus'.

"Is that so?" Alec's voice was soft now, his eyes trailing down to where Magnus' lips quirked up.

"It is so." Magnus smiled. "Does this mean we're boyfriends again?"

"Boyfriends, husbands, gal pals, lovers, whatever the fuck you want to call this. I'm here with you. I'm yours, however long you'll have me."

Magnus hummed, feeling like he'd swallowed the sun. The word husbands made him want to scream, a future they could have together, a future they wanted to have together. "Can I get one more thing I want?"

"What's that?"

"Well, if we're being honest, I would love an awful lot if I could kiss you." Magnus' voice was cheeky, but sincere and he leaned closer until Magnus could feel Alec's breath on his cheeks. Magnus could feel his heart beating. He was keenly aware of every single one of limbs, every single one of his nerves. He paused, a hair's breath away. "You know, I was thinking about how good a few minutes ago was, debating just hanging in the limbo of that moment forever."

"Really?" Alec sounded breathless.

"But now I know that I was totally wrong. This moment is way better."

Alec laughed. Their lips met and it was like coming home, like falling apart and coming back together all at the same time. The world could have burned and Magnus wouldn't have given a damn. This was his happily ever after and they were just going to have to wait. Alec's free hand cradled Magnus' jaw and Magnus reached out to grab a fistful of the shirt that promised four years of future together.

Magnus could imagine his greatest hits, years and years down the road. Him and Alec, hand in hand for as long as fate would allow.


Um. Wow. Okay. I finished something?

Honestly, this is the strangest thing to me. I started writing this with literally no idea where it was going (literally none, I had the prologue written and like squat else figured out). And then for some weird reason people actually read it? And kept reading it? And then kept asking if I would finish it after months and months of silence from me.

Thank you for reading this mountain of words. There are some fairly garbage pieces of this and I'd be lying if I said there weren't times I debated going back and rewriting it, but I kinda like it this way. Despite the fact I knew (and still know) nothing about Texas or living in a small town. I also know nothing about New York and living downtown in a city. I also know nothing about being male, I know nothing about fashion or architecture. I also think I know nothing about continuity, but the jury's out on that one.

This is an incomplete, but fairly accurate representation of my writing style changing over the years and it's kind of nice that way. I tried to make this last chapter sound the same and fit with everything else I've written, but I have no idea if I was successful or not. I've changed a lot as a writer and a lot as a person since I started.

I hope you enjoyed it because I sure as hell enjoyed spewing metaphor after metaphor about Alec's eyes.

As always, I'm on tumblr if you need me (though hopefully you won't, as I'm useless) and in about 6 years, you may hear from me again when I finish more fic. Unlikely, but worth mentioning.

xx