Harry woke up and for a moment had no idea where he was, for he lay on a cold, flat, hard surface that clearly wasn't the bed he had gone to sleep in. Then, however, he felt it move, and a slow, rhythmic thudding came from deep inside of it. Harry froze, not really knowing what to do. He glanced up at Voldemort's face and saw that the man was asleep. Softly, Harry stroked the white skin of his nape, amazed by how soft it was. It was strange… he had never felt like this… never felt like he belonged, not even at Hogwarts, surrounded by his friends. And yet, the last person he would have thought of then, gave him this feeling, among others. Harry was in two minds about whether to make use of this situation, or just let it be, but his curious side won over, and he raised his hands to the Dark Lord's face, tracing it with his finger pads, enjoying the smooth texture, all the while reveling in the feeling of the arm that held him down on the man's chest, and the thought about how it would feel without a layer of clothes in between them made him blush furiously.
The position they were in suddenly had Harry thinking about how they had ended up in it in the first place. Obviously, he had fallen asleep under the touches and strokes of the Dark Lord, but why had the man remained here after? He didn't mind at all, but it made him wonder about the possibility that maybe, he wasn't the only one who had these strange, confusing feelings called love. Yes, he dared to admit it now, there was no use in denying it any longer after he had reached that conclusion. It had gone from fear and hatred to understanding, forgiveness and seeking comfort, to finally morph into caring for and ultimately love in an astonishing short time. But could Voldemort of all people, who had a seriously underdeveloped emotional range, ever feel the same? The arms that held him into place said yes, but in his head, Harry couldn't fathom how that could ever happen. He broke free of the tight embrace to clear his head with a shower and gazed down at the man's serpentine face. Merlin, something had to be wrong with him if he still found Voldemort attractive. He reddened when he caught himself thinking how weird it would be if he also had a serpentine tongue… and how that would feel.
"Gah!" he exclaimed, and he got the urge to bang his head against a wall to get rid of the images that swam to the forefront of his mind. Damn imagination…
He walked into the bathroom adjoining the bedroom and turned on the taps of the shower before stripping himself off his clothes. Once the water was at a comfortable temperature, he stepped under the stream and leaned back against the tiles of the wall, closing his eyes.
When he had finally relaxed enough, he got out and turned off the water. Looking around, he froze. He had forgotten a towel, and there was none in sight. Frantically, he searched the cupboards and came to the conclusion that indeed, there were none. What the hell? Who didn't keep his towels in the bathroom? Gulping, he opened the door and peeked outside. The Dark Lord was still on the bed, his eyes closed, and he could see the wardrobe from here. As if daring him, the door of it was opened slightly, and on the second shelf were, of course, towels. He slipped out of the bathroom and tiptoed towards the dresser. However, when he finally reached it and wanted to open the door a bit further, he found out that it creaked with an earsplitting sound. So far for being sneaky.
"Harry?" a tired voice said.
Oh no, please, don't let it be true…
"What are you…" Voldemort's breath caught and Harry didn't think he had ever known a moment more awkward than this one.
XXx
His first thought was that he should look away. The second that there was no way in hell that he was able to. His mouth got dry at seeing the boy, standing naked and dripping wet in the room. He hoped he wasn't looking too hungrily, but then again, he probably did. He swatted the part of his mind that screamed how stupid he was, and managed to choke out: "Harry...you better...ah...get dressed."
"Yeah..." the boy gulped, quickly pulling a towel from out of the wardrobe to cover himself with. Or tried to, rather. It was too small to cover everything but his lower parts.
When the teen started to blush heavily, he really couldn't take more and got off the bed, not thinking about what he was doing in case he wouldn't have the courage for it anymore. Harry got a shocked look on his face and gave a startled yelp when the man reached out and pulled the boy in his arms. He bent over to place his head on top of Harry's, and now he was taken aback, when the young wizard tilted his head upwards and crashed their mouths together in a greedy motion. He moaned, actually enjoying this sort of human contact for the first time...It wasn't that he hadn't slept with people, no, but in the past, it had just been a take-and-throw-away. Now, he had a whole scale of new feelings and urges to deal with. Happiness and relief being foremost right now. He pushed his tongue against Harry's lips and shuddered when Harry allowed him to let it slip in. Suddenly, the teen let out a laugh.
"What?" he said, and pulled back.
"Stray thoughts..." Harry chuckled.
"Oh?"
Harry grinned. "Half an hour ago or so, I was thinking about how it would feel if you'd have a forked tongue as well..."
"Forked?"
"Yeah, it could have been possible, right? I mean, you have taken on more snake-things, so why not a tongue?"
"Sorry to disappoint you."
"Nah, I think it would be too strange..."
"Good." Voldemort murmured, and let his lips ghost over the other's, his hands sliding down Harry's bare backside and hips. "You know? Now I still have to inform the other inhabitants of this house that you are staying here and not to be harmed. I didn't find time for it yet..."
"I dunno, can't you do that during dinner or so?"
"Yes, that is probably a good idea. Now, don't speak anymore... just feel..."
Judging from how the teen melted in his arms and fiercely kissed him back, Harry heeded his words well. It was only when they were interrupted again, that Harry broke loose.
~Figures, he's here for what, five minutes and you're snogging? You're unbelievable Marvolo, unbelievable indeed...~
~Hello Nagini, thank you for your ever so nice comments.~ Voldemort answered, and threw the snake a glare. ~"Sometimes, I wonder why I haven't killed you yet."~
~Tss, you couldn't live without me and you know it. Bastard.~
~I could live without your insults every now and then...~
~Ah, but then all the fun would be gone as well, don't you think? And you haven't introduced me properly yet. How thoughtless of you.~
The Dark Lord obviously tried to remain calm so he wouldn't strangle the snake, and Harry suppressed a chuckle. ~Harry, this annoying reptile here is Nagini. Annoying reptile: this is Harry.~
~I already knew that.~ They both replied, and then broke out in hissing chuckles.
~What did I have to introduce you for then?~
~Because it is polite.~ Nagini said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. ~I like him, by the way.~ She added, and raised her body so she was on eye-height with Harry. ~Pet me.~
Harry hesitantly reached out and began to pet her. Voldemort watched them with amusement. "You're going to spoil her, Harry..."
"I like her." He said, smiling at the serpent.
"Well, it's good that somebody likes her..." Voldemort smirked, and Harry rolled his eyes, stopping to stroke Nagini's scales in favor of leaning back into Voldemort.
"You know... I better get dressed." He suddenly remarked, and Voldemort mentally scowled, but he didn't think a 'why?' would sit well with the boy. So he sighed and let Harry go. The teen took another towel and walked to the bathroom.
~You are happy.~ Nagini remarked, with something that could only be described as a smug grin.
~Your observation skills are astounding.~ Voldemort answered sarcastically.
~Well?~
~Yes, I am happy.~ He admitted.
~It is good to know. I had almost given up on you finding someone.~
The Dark lord shook his head and laughed. ~You are utterly impossible.~
Dear Harry.
If this letter reaches you –and since Hedwig has never failed to deliver a letter, even if she didn't have an address, I don't doubt it will- please, please tell us how you are. Is it true that you've been kidnapped by You-Know-Who? Or are you on the run or anything? Can we help you in any way? We're well, though everyone in the Order is a bit anxious because of your disappearance, and Dumbledore is being all weird again. He was the one who said you were kidnapped, but we only have his word, and well... we rather check it with you. Not that we don't trust Dumbledore, but I wonder how he could know, and Kingsley said that there was no evidence of force in your house. We volunteered to take care of your stuff, so no-one weird will get their hands on it. Oh, and we've got to say hi from Snuffles. He's more restless than ever now. At first he was pissed because he couldn't leave headquarters, but now he's practically trying to break out. The Headmaster won't let him of course, don't worry about him getting caught... And Hagrid just came in, crying in that red checkered blanket he calls a handkerchief, 'mumbling' about you getting hurt.
Love and all power to you, Hermione. –And Ron, but I have a better handwriting. Ron quoted most of it though.-
"Kidnapped, huh?" chuckled the Dark Lord, reading over Harry's shoulder.
"I should tell them the truth..." Harry mumbled, and wiped the tears out of his eyes.
"Are you crying?" Voldemort said, concerned.
"I'm just happy they rather trust me than Dumbledore. They're really the best friends I could wish for. And Sirius and Hagrid..."
"Though I wonder if Hagrid will ever agree with you staying with me..." Voldemort said dryly. "And I think that counts for the rest of them as well."
"Yes, I know." Harry sighed. "But I prefer to not think about that now... I think I'll just tell them I'm safe and not to worry. That's at least part of the truth..."
They headed down the stairs to the dinner room. They had slept nearly the whole afternoon, and after reading that letter and writing one back, it was six 'o clock already. Harry was slightly nervous, but it helped that two followers of Voldemort knew of his presence here already, though he wasn't sure if that was so positive in Bella's case. All sounds of talking vanished when they entered. Harry tried to remain behind the Dark Lord so he wouldn't be in view too much, but Voldemort rolled his eyes and pushed the teen in front of him.
"As you can see, Harry Potter is in our midst. You are not to harm him, now, continue eating."
Harry was surprised to say that indeed, they started to eat and talk again, and he raised his eyebrows. He had expected them to stare or yell at him... Voldemort really had trained them well. They should try that with the Order... 'Hey, I brought some Death Eaters over, nothing to worry about, and don't hurt them, continue eating'... wouldn't go over well... he looked questioningly at the older wizard, who chuckled.
"They're to do as I say." He simply told Harry and sat down at the head of the table, gesturing for Harry to sit next to him. He gladly took the seat, also because he didn't have to sit next to the Death Eaters. Out to kill him or not, he still didn't like them. He saw Bellatrix and her husband; Wormtail, who sat on the opposite of the table –obviously the lowest in rank-; some guy he didn't know; Rosier from before, and to his displeasure: the Malfoy family. Didn't they have a house of their own or anything? He caught Draco's frowning glance and got the urge to stick out his tongue –but decided against it. It wouldn't do to act like a three-year old-
"So..." Voldemort began. "What did you write back?"
"Ah, uhm... basically that I'm safe and that there is no reason to worry about me, but also to not tell Dumbledore anything. I don't like the man."
"I'd never thought I'd live to see the day that you would admit having something against the old coot..."
Harry just shrugged. "It's his own fault anyway." He replied bitterly and poked his piece of meat a little too roughly.
"It's already dead."
"Huh?"
"The meat. It's already dead."
"Your attempts for humour suck." Harry said, laughing, and immediately noticed the shift in the atmosphere. Not from Voldemort, but his followers, who were staring at him now. He figured it had to be because he dared to insult the Dark Lord. He wondered what would happen if any of them would ever try.
The rest of the meal was spent in utter silence, and when they finished, Harry didn't really feel like hanging around some more, so he decided to retire to his room. Before he left the dining room though, he heard a voice calling out to him.
"Potter!"
"What, Draco?"
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Plotting the demise of the Dark Lord." Harry said airily. "Why?"
He laughed at Draco's stunned expression and turned around, only to be faced by said Dark Lord.
"Plotting my demise? Now, that isn't very nice, hmm?"
"If you have another suggestion of how to spend my time here..." Harry grinned, looking up at the man's face.
"I don't know... Plotting Dumbledore's demise?"
"No matter how much I dislike him, I wouldn't be able to kill him either. Or anyone for that matter." Harry said, seriously this time.
"Again, you're too good for this world." Voldemort sighed. "As for what you can do... you can explore the manor... this time without my followers trying to torture you."
"Great idea." Harry said happily. "Though... could you show me the library first? I didn't come across it earlier this day."
"Anything particular you want to read? It is quite a maze if you don't know your way there."
"I wanted to look more into potions. I cannot use my magic here, so I better find another hobby. I have never been very good at it, but that was mostly because Snape's tutoring skills were abhorrent at best. I might even learn something now." he laughed "And it's not like I have a lot to do here..."
"Not unless you want to help me with plans for the war no, and I don't think you're interested in that?"
"I don't know... I might stay Neutral."
"Might?"
"You can never be sure..." he said, and gave the Dark Lord a crooked grin. "You can be awfully persuasive if you want."
The man just huffed and began to walk. Harry followed, casting a last glance at Draco, whom he had entirely forgotten during the conversation. This time, he didn't ignore the urge for contact and slipped his hand in the other's, pointedly refusing to look at the man, and thus missing the surprised expression that morphed into a soft smile moments later. Harry was yet unsure of how to act. After that kiss, there had been no physical contact between the two of them anymore, leaving Harry to doubt about whether his feelings really were reciprocated. Was it merely a game? Little did he know of the incertitude that went through Voldemort's head at the moment.
They entered the library, and Harry was utterly astonished by the sheer size of it and the massive amount of books that was stored on the shelves. Not knowing where to begin, he followed the Dark Lord. When reaching the potions section, Voldemort wordlessly pulled a few books from their place and handed them over to him. Looking around, Harry spotted a comfortable looking lounge and sat down on it. Judging the titles, he saw they were all about common, Light potions, and he repressed the urge to point his eyes skyward. Undoubtedly, the rest of the books would be too gruesome for his innocent eyes...
"Won't you sit down?" Harry asked the other man, who was doing no more than walking up and down the paths in between the bookshelves. The older wizard came over and sat down. Yet, to Harry's displeasure, he sat just a few inches too far away.
The next few hours were spent in relative silence, only broken when he didn't understand something and asked for elaboration, though Harry knew he would have been able to take in a lot more information had he been able to fully relax.
"Uhm... Voldemort?" he began, unsure. The name felt weird upon his lips, and apparently the other noticed as well, for he chuckled and said:
"Call me Marvolo, Harry."
"Your middle name?" he asked, and got a surprised look in return, on which Harry just shrugged.
"Yes, my middle name."
"Alright... Marvolo. I wanted to ask you about... about this afternoon..." he trailed off, not sure how to continue. "Did it... did it mean anything to you? Anything at all?" he asked, his muscles tensing.
He took the silence that followed as a rejection, and turned his head away to hide his watery eyes, but was surprised when a gentle hand ghosted over his cheek, only to cup it and pull his head back. Harry gasped when his lips made contact with Marvolo's, and moaned softly when a tongue slowly slid against his. Succumbing to the touches, he leaned back and pulled the man on top of him.
"You don't really think I would have kissed you back then if it didn't, do you?" Marvolo whispered hoarsely, and placed his mouth back on Harry's before he could reply. "Forgive me if I have made you doubt my affection for you, but I am not experienced on this subject and the whole concept of feeling is foreign to me," he sighed.
"And now?"
"Now... I think I can try to let myself be drowned in them once more..." he grinned. "Admittedly, when I first acknowledged the fact that I regained some of my emotions, I was... frightened and angered. I had no idea how to cope with it, or what I had to do with it. But now, I simply cannot see why I should deprive myself of them again. It feels too good to be wrong."
He sat up and Harry followed his example, not willing to let anymore space get in between them than necessary, embracing the other man tightly.
"And what about you, Harry?"
"Me? I have always acted upon my feelings, and most of the time, that was pretty damn helpful. I know what I want now, and now I know that you want the same... why should I deny it?"
"And the little fact that I am a Dark Lord who was out for your blood until a few weeks ago doesn't bother you?"
Harry shrugged. "I had never seen another side of you than what you showed. Now however, I can see past that, and see you, not the terrifying image you let people believe you are."
Marvolo pulled away and looked Harry in the eyes, a pale, slender hand brushing the boy's cheek. "Image? I hate to disappoint you Harry, but that is who I I am as well, I should say. A different side of me, yes, but not an act. You cannot ignore that, for I will not give myself to anyone lightly, and certainly not to anyone who only wants a part of me." The older wizard said in a grim voice.
Harry hesitated at that, but then laughed at himself. Who was he kidding? "I know. And I shall indulge you into a little secret. These four years I was told to fight you, I always found you... intriguing. When you first told me your concept of power and knowledge, I didn't understand what you meant by that there is no good or evil. But as the years passed, I saw various shades of grey. They say murder is bad, but what if you kill to save a life? And even spells... the Killing curse can get you a one-way ticket to Azkaban, but how many other spells are there with which you can kill someone? There is only power, and the people who decide what they do with it, how they use it. Deep down, I have always agreed with your ideals. Granted, I still don't like killing if not absolutely necessary, but for the most part... Deep down, I always agreed with you. Also with that... other side of you, as you call it. And now the picture is complete, as I see the man you can also be..."
"Neutral, huh?" Marvolo chuckled, and Harry couldn't help but smile.
"Damn the neutral... My place is here, with you. If you will have me that is..."
Joy overtook him when he was pulled into a ravishing kiss.
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Xx GeMerope
