My Past and My Future Collide

Chapter 19: Sorry

A/N: Before you read the first part in Camp rock it is now Monday. When I go back to Shane and Jenny it is Sunday. Shane's other part goes into Monday so yeah. Anyway here is the story enjoy.

It was Monday morning around 3:00 and Mitchie couldn't sleep anymore. The thing that Caitlyn mentioned was eating her inside. She kept hearing the lines over and over again. If Trevor could forgive her why couldn't she forgive Shane and honestly Mitchie could not answer that question. She didn't know why. She had an idea but she didn't want to think about it. However, laying there at 3:00 it took over her mind and as much as she fought it she thought about it.

Her main thinking was she didn't want to forgive Shane because it would be so easy to but everything would be forgotten and she would be more insecure. She already is that, maybe being with Trevor was the wrong thing to get over Shane. If she forgave Shane then there was no reason to be with someone other than Shane. She would have feelings again she knew it. Hating him because he lied was so much easier than having feelings for him and Trevor at the same time. Selfish really.

She couldn't do that to Trevor. He was so generous forgiving her and everything. Plus he cared for her so much and comforted her when she needed it. Faced the Shane issue and solved that well he thought they did. Which brings her mind right back to Shane. She sighed he had been on her mind a lot recently, and didn't know why.

Who was she kidding? She was definitely denying knowing why she was thinking about him and yeah it was eating her. She was sorry for thinking about him because she was with Trevor not Shane and probably wouldn't be. Trevor helped her be happy and realize she didn't need anything to bring her down. So she pushed Shane away now he was back in her mind and she wanted him gone. That wasn't going to happen. She was full of guilt. Thinking about someone, and it is not her boyfriend, was that bad? She finally fell asleep feeling slightly guilty. She had to stop thinking about Shane she owed it to Trevor would her body let her though?

It was lunch now and Mitchie as done a good job occupying her mind away from Shane. She focused on Trevor her classes and how in a little less than two weeks final jam was here. She thought a brief second about Shane possibly coming back but then pushed it away. By the time lunch was half-way done he was on her mind and wanted to talk to Trevor. They walked over to the docks and sat in the sun.

"What's up Mitch" Trevor asks holding her hand

"I just want to apologize" She said and he looked at her confused "About Saturday and Aaron" She said quietly

She was actually apologizing for thinking about Shane getting rid of her guilt. Apologizing for the Aaron thing was much easier cause then she didn't have to face the thoughts of Shane but she could not stop feeling sorry so she had to say it.

"You don't have to it wasn't your fault" Trevor assured her and to her he wasn't making it easier, just harder

"Sort of I let him sit on my bed close to me" She said

"Yeah but he pounced on you so you don't have to apologize" He said reassuring her

"I do and I am so sorry" She said and he shook his head

"Why are you saying sorry?" he asked

"Because I am, I am so sorry" she keeps repeating trying to heal her conscious. She was acting hysterical but she needed to clear her conscious. She didn't want to think about Shane when she was with Trevor and this was the only thing that helped her, saying sorry.

"Mitchie calm down its okay I forgive you" She said

"Why you shouldn't god I am so sorry" She says getting tears in her eyes

"Mitch" He hugs her "calm down"

She shakes her head "Sorry, Trevor I am so sorry" She keeps repeating and he is completely confused. Women he thinks and keeps comforting her.

Trevor was getting more confused every second. Why was she repeating sorry for something she didn't even do. Something that was in the past and she was freaking out about it now. Why? He was losing it. He hated to see his girlfriend cry. It was hurting him too. So he knew he had to do this

"Mitchie" He said catching her attaching as she looked up to him

"I forgive you" He said

She opened her mouth to speak but she was distracted as she felt his lips crash onto her as his tongue started a war with hers which she fought back, tears still coming from eyes and for a few minutes she didn't know why. They were really making out when her mind lost it. The hair, they eyes, the lips, the hands she thought of were all wrong. They weren't Trevor's, they were Shane's she shot back and jumped up really fast.

"Mitch" He asks surprised

"Sorry, god I am so sorry" She says

"Stop apologizing" he said

"I… I… forgot to do something….I…have to go" She said stuttering then runs off leaving him really confused still sitting on the dock.

She was literally mad at herself right now. Why did she have to think of Shane when Trevor's electrifying kiss was overtaking her? She never kissed Shane but what is like this. She didn't want to know she couldn't she was with Trevor. She was still oh so sorry.

She collapsed on her bed feeling so bad. She wanted the guilt to go away and he brought more kissing her making her think about what it would be like to kiss Shane. Why did Shane have to screw everything thing up? Make her doubt not forgiving him and then Trevor making it harder to be sorry, why are boys so complicated?

Trevor was asking the same thing but why were girls so complicated? He sighed he was so confused on why she was saying sorry over and over and over again for no reason. She said it was the Aaron reason but it wasn't they have solved that right? Why would she freak about that two days after? He knew it wasn't about that. Did she do something wrong? Was she doubting them being together? This pained Trevor and he was getting some doubt in his mind about it. He didn't want to but at the back of his mind he was thinking something was going on but it wasn't good. He liked her so much. He sighed ignoring the doubt and running off towards the cabins since lunch was almost over.

The day finished of normally. Trevor didn't bring it up and neither did Mitchie. They finished classes and everything. It was normal and back to the way it was before she went on her sorry rant. However in 5days everything was going to change? For the better or worse no one knew!

A/N : it is now back to Sunday afternoon in the park with Shane and Jenny and she just asked if he was playing her and thunder rolled making the situation more tense then it was Enjoy!

"Jenny" Shane finally got out after the shock left a little "How could you ask me that?" He asked

"Like this. Shane are you playing me?" She asks seriously

"I didn't mean it like that, do you think I am" He asks back

"Sort of" She said nodding

"Jenny, everything I feel is real you know that" He said

"I have doubts" She said quietly

Why does she have doubts? He was so confused it wasn't the date thing was it because he wanted it to be but he couldn't tell her that. It was too fast and he hasn't chosen you he wants more right now and he better decided soon because this was killing him.

"If it's about the date thing…" he starts

"It's not!" She said loudly more then she should've

"Okay, but you knew what was happening when this was happening we talked about it remember" he said

"Yeah before we kissed and everything" She said sighing

"I'm not ready for a full out relationship Jen" He said

"But you will go to camp rock, and go out with that other girl that hurt you Shane?" She asked

"No, not necessarily" He stated

"Yeah but if you do and she does you played me the whole time to make you happy until you can get the real thing" She said

"No. god Jenny everything I feel is real, how many times do I have to tell you" he asks

"You can tell me as much as you want, if you want me to believe you aren't playing me you will have to prove it" She said and his expression changed

"How" he asked

"Prove you aren't playing me and show me your feelings are real" She said not knowing what he would do

"Jenny…" he started

"I got my answer bye Shane" She said as he felt a drop of rain and she started walking away

"Wait" He shouted running up and catching her wrist then spinning her around into her arms and his lips planted firmly on hers holding her closer his hand on her neck pulling her mouth towards him, the kiss getting more intense every second fireworks exploding in Jenny's body for sure. She was definitely taken by surprise.

She kissed back letting her arms snaked around his neck this was surprising. She could feel it was real and well loved every second of it actually. She soon found their tongues tangled within each others. She had never kissed this intense before let alone with Shane Gray, her current and childhood crush. Okay maybe not a crush more so a LIKE type thing, love interest if you may? They stood there kissing as it started raining and he just kept intensifying it.

He had kissed Jenny before with no fireworks or spark that he felt but there was some now. Sure he hasn't kissed her like this but anything that different really 2 minute lingering no tongue kiss? His eyes were closed and he was scared to actually see what he was.

The family feeling of a girl's soft delicate hand resting in his. Their eyes locking together countless times. Her voice so powerful it made him breathless sometimes. He's gotta find her. The one with long brown hair that would slightly sway in the wind, and defined her face almost perfectly. He was losing it clearly. Why was he thinking about this getting butterflies kissing Jenny. It wasn't M…Mitch…ie. Oh god this was bad. He was thinking of one he never has and his feelings were thinking of her. NO! He wanted to scream. He was losing interest in this tongue battle.

He instantly pulled away awkward scratching his neck looking at Jenny smiling as her eyes fluttered back open. She leans back in but he just turns and she kisses his cheek and she laughs.

"Shane" She giggles

"I can't do this" He says and starts walking fast out of the park "Great, now his feelings made things show"

"Shane" She called running up

"Please Jenny, later" He called the rain now falling hard as he ran through the park

"Shane" She said feeling confused "What are you doing" She calls as her voice was lost in the rain

He could only hear is heightened breath and the beat of his feet as they ran along the soaked sidewalk towards his house. He couldn't lose her face. He was running as fast as his legs could carry him he had to get away. Far away right now. He ran into the house and up to his room before anyone could acknowledge his presence. He grabbed towels turning on the hot water and locking himself in his bathroom. He stripped of his drenched clothes and stepped into the hot shower letting everything wash away but it wasn't helping.

Jenny had safely made it home before the lighting that just lit up the sky had occurred. She sighed so confused. Why did he just leave? God those feelings were strong he had a pull to him. She figured she should leave him for a view minutes so she decided she would go first thing tomorrow morning.

Shane got out of the water wrapping a towel around his body. His dragged his hand through his hair letting water drip onto his shoulders as he looked into the mirror. He sighed feeling really bad about what he did to Jenny. Maybe it was just feelings that had to be tested well they were alright. He knew what he had to do even though it would be hard.

He got dressed in sweats and another long sleeve sitting down at his desk taking two pieces of paper and started writing along the lines. After an hour trying to get things write he places the two papers into a enveloping labeling it carefully. He then got out a second one writing well sighing knowing he was running but if he debated it they would show him otherwise, not this time. He stuffed the other into a separate envelope labeling it then walking over to his closet. He grabbed a couple of things tossing them on the bed with his duffle bag.

He started putting clothes that he would need and specific needs and processions he needed for a couple of weeks. He started packing carefully and placing his duffle bag just under his bed. He had his cell phone, keys, wallet and sunglasses on his dressed, he wasn't sure this was his best idea but nothing was about to stop him from letting the one thing he needed more in this world then anything slip away again.

That night he went to dinner with a pretty thick mind. He ate dinner with his dinner in almost silence. They knew something had happened but they weren't sure he was ready to talk right yet. They let him go up to his room when he was done. He placed his songbook into his back and got everything ready. He was playing video games when his mom came in and said good night as he did to and hugged her. He continues playing for a bit until the house fell silent. He grabbed his bag and carefully walked down the stairs placing the envelopes on the kitchen counter and then leaving. He locked the door of the all too familiar house sighing. He would miss his mom saying good morning and goodnight as he was now used to it again. He sighed knowing he was going to miss it but he would be back, he could always count on home for one thing, a family that loved him.

Down the street about a block near the coffee shop he got a taxi, which brought him to the airport. This was it, he was doing this, no turning back now he thought as he stepped on the plane taking a deep breath and finding his seat.

The next morning his mom and dad got up getting ready for work and they walked into the kitchen seeing an envelope on the table labeled Mom and Dad

They gave each other a glance then opened it and read the letter left by their only son.

Mom and Dad,

Sorry I left without saying goodbye. Well I am now. I am not gone forever but I could let this slip because you would try to stop me and right now this is what I need to do. You both are right that life is complicated and not always laid out as you want it to be. You have climb mountains, swim across ocean, anything you have to do to fight for what you want. I have to do the same, if not succeed at least try to please myself that I didn't give up and walk away. I'm fighting for what I want now. You always said life had three things. Life with a family, love and death always come. Love can just be family or you can carry on to a worthy person for you have fallen for. For a couple of weeks I have let it pass but I can't hide it anymore. I love Mitchie, and it may seem selfish but I need to try to win her back, at least let her know how I feel, you can call me and let me know how bad this was and that I'm running but I'm also fighting. I love you both of you thank you so much for everything you have helped me with these past weeks, I figured a few things out and need to see where they get me. I will be back, and keep in contact. Please give the other letter to Jenny she needs to read it. I love you and I am again sorry.

Love your son and always will be

Shane Gray xoxoxo

PS. Thank you for everything I love you

They both sighed and hugged each other knowing they had to let him go and fight for what he wanted. They always encouraged him, so they were letting him do this. Hopefully it would work out in his favor if not he knew they were always there for him no matter what, family was family and they loved each other.

Around 8:30 his mom was about to leave when Jenny showed up at the door.

"Hey Mrs. Gray is Shane here?" Shane asked

"No he left but he left this for you he needed us to give to you, it will probably explain, we just got a note too" She said handing the letter to Jenny

"Oh, okay thank you" Jenny said feeling upset but got in her car and drove to the park walking back to the bench where they faced a problem yesterday. She thought it was solved apparently not. She opened the letter and read it as tears came to her eyes.

Jen,

I'm sorry for everything and if I played you which it probably feels like I don't know how I will ever make it up to you but I am sorry. You are an amazing girl and you know that. You are the best friend and you are not afraid to show your feelings and I love that. The feelings were true maybe not as much as last night. However I never lied I did feel for you. I'm sorry about everything and if I lead you on and hurt you it is the last thing I wanted to do, that I swear. I feel strongly for someone else as well as you were aware of. Right now I have to fight for her. Sorry if I let your hopes down and raised them up so much. I need to fight and even if I'm not successful I tried. I do want to be friend and I know you are probably upset and truly pissed at me, because well you are Jenny Garth I have known you forever. Again truly sorry you can contact me if you, I will in time.

Love

Shane xo

Ps. Jen I will never forget you within the last few weeks thank you for showing me ways to make your own paths and helping me realize to go for what I want, you showed me fun and to have a good time, trust me, it will live within me forever, and when I return if you want to we will try to figure things out. Bye Jen

Jen had some tears free falling down her cheeks as she folded the paper back up tucking it in the envelope and into her sweater. She pulled her hood up and walked around the park a bit her tears falling. She knew he was doing what he had to but she wished it wasn't. He was gone, soon she wanted to contact him but she'll wait he need to do what was right for him. He knew either one of them or both would be hurt. So far it was her.

Shane set foot of solid ground around 7am Monday morning. He grabbed his bag trying to not grab attention, He took the shuttle to the park and drive he used when he left for New Jersey and got into his car throwing his back in the truck. His midnight black Audi purred to life and he pulled out and started towards his LA home, and arrived shortly after. He walked into the houses kitchen dropping his back grabbing some food. Soon her heard foot prints towards the kitchen and looked up to see Nate, mouth dropped.

"Shane?" Nate asked confused

"For a couple of days and need both of your help" Shane said

"Something bad?" Nate asked concerned

"No, I just need help" Shane said

"Anything Nate said

Shane smiled soon enough he would be fighting for the brown haired beauty he longed for. Help form his 'brothers' was all he needed to finish this. He smiled as he sat at the counter with Nate.

"This is what I want to do" Shane said

"Alright" Nate said and they started working on this project. This could very well make things better, worse, or heartbreaking, but he taking the risk.

A/N: That's it can you feel it pulling towards Camp Rock, I hope you answer yes lol. Anyway there was some cheesy moments I know but every story had to have that. This was a set-up chapter for the ones to come. Can't wait to write them, I am camping but have my notebook I will update when I can when I get back. Monday or Tuesday whichever. What is Shane planning? Any ideas I would love to hear them. Please review. Keep reading. Sorry for errors! Enjoy.

~Kim