A/N: Okay, this one was inspired by this fake Master card commercial that I saw one YouTube. Takes place in the future, the foster kids are in their senior year of high school and the other kids are in seventh grade. Please review! WARNING: Contains a sexual reference.
Steven and Elizabeth walked up towards Luke and Thalia's front door. Steven leant up against the wall accidentally pressing the intercom button, unknown to them everyone was inside the living room watching TV.
"So…" Steven started.
"So," Elizabeth replied.
"So how about a blowjob," he said. Inside everyone spit out the soda they were drinking on the wood floor, well in Athena's case all over Poseidon.
"Are you crazy my parents might see," she replied.
"Oh come on, who is going to see us at this hour? I'll return the favor."
"No way. Can you imagine if we got caught? Oh my Gods, what my Dad would do to you," Elizabeth said.
"There's nobody around and everybody's asleep," Steven said.
"No way it's way to risky," she replied.
"Please, I love you so much," he pleaded.
"I just can't."
"Please?"
The light above them flicked on and the front door opened to reveal John standing there with Nikki.
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob or I can do it. Or if need be he'll come down himself and do it, but for Gods sake tell him to take him hand off the intercom button!" John said and slammed the door closed and the light went off.
The two just stared at each other. "Awkward," Elizabeth said.
"Yeah, that just ruined it Liz," Steven replied. The lights turned back on and the front door opened to reveal Zeus and Poseidon.
"Get in here," they said pulling the two eighteen-year-olds inside. They looked around the street and then slammed the door closed.
"In the living room now," Poseidon said. The two teens hung their heads in embarrassment.
"Sit," Zeus said. "All of you kids…no that does not include you ADULTS."
The gods and the six parents stood around the couch and chairs.
"Now they events of what just happened have sparked us to inform you all of unwanted teen pregnancy," Demeter said.
"Why oh why does this kind of shit always happen to us?" Stacy asked.
"We've seen Secret Life on ABC Family why do we have to go through this?" Hailey asked.
"Oh be quiet I saw it and I got this lecture after I was six months pregnant with you at age 22," Katie said. The doorbell rang loudly through the house.
"WHAT?" Luke asked into the intercom angrily.
"Is Stacy here?" Russell AKA Spongebob asked. He was one of Malcolm's three triplets.
"Listen Spongebob go away unless you want to hear a lecture on unwanted teen pregnancy from all the Gods and parents," Stacy said pushing Luke away from the intercom button and holding it down herself.
"But I want to see you," Spongebob whined.
"That is it," she said. Stacy slammed the front door closed as she stepped out onto the porch.
"Hi," Spongebob said leaning on the wall. Stacy turned the intercom button so everyone could hear.
"I am so sick and tired of this crap. I hear it year after year, I want to see you, can we hang out, and will you go out with me. Will you get it through you damn skull that I don't want a relationship right now and if I ever do believe me you will be the first to know. Right now I am hearing a goddamn lecture from the Gods because Steven and Liz had this conversation about blowjobs on this porch! Now get the hell out of here!" Stacy yelled. He let his skateboard fall to the sidewalk. "I am so tired of these things!" she added whipping the skateboard across the street where it slammed into his garage door. "Anything else you want to add Daddy, Grandpa, and anyone else?" she asked holding down the button.
"Nope you got it all Princess," Ares said through the intercom. Stacy unturned the button and turned to go back into the house.
"Before I go just so you will leave me alone for one damn minute, remember me by this," she whispered and grabbed him close and planted a quick kiss on his mouth. "Now get out of here before I knee you where you don't want to be kneed!" she added holding down the button for extra effect.
Stacy walked inside and slammed the door shut extra hard. "Thanks for damaging my garage door, it looked shitty anyway," Spongebob said into the intercom.
"Gah!!!!" Stacy said throwing her hands into the air. "Can we go home now?" she asked plopping down onto the couch.
"Yes," Clarisse said.
"Wait a second," Ares said looking over Stacy.
"Mhmm…I see what you mean," Percy said.
"Yes, I agree," Apollo, added, lingering his gaze on her face.
"I see it too," Artemis said. "But I can't place my finger on it."
Nikki turned to face Stacy. "You did not stoop to there level!" she said.
"Only to shut him up and leave me alone," Stacy replied.
"Do you think that works with him? No you smack them around a little bit," Nikki replied.
"Oh seriously, they are complete whores, you stooped to that level to get rid of him…that's only going to encourage him," Hailey said. The others just looked confused and seconds later a look of realization hit the men.
"Are you serious?" Zeus asked.
"No way," Apollo said.
"From your own grandkid too," Hermes laughed.
"Spongebob weird nickname," Hades said.
"Wow, didn't expect that from Miss Goody two shoes here," Poseidon said.
"Teenagers," Percy said.
"You were one too so shut up," Luke said.
"Do you think Malcolm knows his son is a stalker?" Nico asked.
Clarisse and the others instantly understood what had happened. "Did you kiss that boy?" Chris asked and Stacy blushed. "I'm waiting for an answer."
"Oh would you just calm down I kissed him so he would shut the fuck up," Stacy snapped and slapped a hand over her mouth.
"Apollo what have I told you about swearing in front of the children," Annabeth said.
"Well it doesn't help when your own Mother is yelling those same words at seven in the morning and we can hear you all the way from the bus stop," Nikki replied and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Same to you Mom," John said texting on his phone.
The others just stood in shock. The Gods looked to their children who wore guilty expressions.
"Obviously we need to include you six in the conversation," Hera said.
"Sit," Persephone said. The six demi-gods plopped onto the floor, glaring at their kids.
"So now we start the conversation form the beginning," Artemis said.
