Me: heyy!! I'm back!!
Noah: congratulations. Do you want a medal?
Izzy: Ooooo, you got told off by the genius. Ha ha! Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time when this really smart kid-
Me: thank you, Izzy.
Disclaimer: I do not own TDI or the psycho campers. *cough, cough, Izzy* or any of the songs/bands I mention.
Duncan's POV:
I didn't sleep at all last night. I mean, how could I? The girl I'd just gotten together with was gone; the only girl left on my team now was Bridgette. And let's face it; I couldn't make a play on her without disgusting her and upsetting Geoff.
Heather was kinda hot. Ok, she was REALLY hot. And so was Lindsay. But backstabbers and dumb blondes are not my type. At all. Gwen was ok, in her own Goth way, (A/N- that rhymed! Lol) but I think Trent already claimed her. And I don't steal other guys' girls. Another reason to cross out Lindsay.
I sighed. It looked to me that Courtney was the only girl for me. Only she was gone. No, I didn't want to think about that. So I took out my iPod and began to listen to "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3. About halfway through the song, Chris just HAD to wake us up with that stupid beat up helicopter, which by the way, barely works.
I walked outside to hear him scream, "YES! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY PILOT'S LICENSE!" and then crash through the Confession Can. Gwen just looked tired and said, "ugh. It's too early for this." I couldn't help but agree.
"Today's challenge has three parts. First, contestants will plummet- uh, skydive- into a waiting sofa bed target below." He gestured to a crappy-looking sofa. Damn. That thing'll probably break if you just sat on it. And it did, when Chef demonstrated. I laughed.
"Of course, you'll be falling from 5,000 feet. Our lucky contestants are: Trent, and DJ!" Chris said. Thank god it wasn't me. I felt sorry for DJ, though. He looked about ready to faint. Trent, on the other hand, looked perfectly calm. "Ok, sure, why not? You know what they say on Black Coal Mountain, bro. 'Best glimpse of heavens on the way into hell'. Let's do this." "Y-yeah. Let's do this." DJ responded, sounding terrified. I don't blame him. I may be tough, but hey, that was 5,000 feet we're talking about.
"Not yet, you two. Our next challenge will be X-Treme Rodeo Moose Riding! Contestants will attempt to ride the Canadian Bucking Moose for eight seconds, or be thrown into a pile of dirty sweat socks." Chris said with an evil grin. I was beginning to realize how much he loves this job.
"That pile of stank is nothing but laundry day back home." LeShawna said. "It's your lucky day, LeShawna. You'll be riding for the Gophers. Geoff, you'll be riding for Bass." Chris said, coming up behind LeShawna. "Aw, he doesn't look to buck-y to me. Hi, beautiful." Owen said to the moose. The moose just kicked him in the face. Idiot.
Chris started to speak again. "Our third challenge will be X-Treme Seadoo Waterskiing! Challengers will water ski across dry land and collect flags with their team colors. Green for Gophers, red for Bass. Whoever doesn't cross the finish line loses."
"How are we supposed to water ski without water?" Heather asked. What a complainer.
"It's REALLY hard." Chris laughed, as Chef again demonstrated. As soon as he started the water skier, he wiped out. I laughed again. I really hated Chef, especially after last week. "Awesome!" Chris yelled.
"Harold, you'll be skiing for the Bass-""sweet!" Harold exclaimed. "- and Lindsay for the Gophers." Chris said. "Cool! I can model my new bikini!" Lindsay said, posing several times.
"Whoever wins the most challenges wins bragging rights for the night, saves their buts from elimination, and gets to take trip to multi-massage mobile showers." Chris continued. The girls stood in awe. "Can it be?" Heather asked. "Oh, it be." Chris answered. "A shower?" Owen asked. "How about something good?" finally, him and I were on the same page. It should be that winner gets to bring back one teammate, and take a guess who I'd make everyone bring back? Brown hair, really hot.
Bingo.
I came back to reality to find Heather running away from Owen, a marshmallow hitting the back of her head. I didn't want to know, but karma's a bitch. And that was pretty funny. "Ok, gang. Ciao for breaky and report back to camp in 20 minutes for the X-treme Sports Challenge!" Chris said, taking off in the helicopter again.
I didn't feel like eating, so I went back to the cabin to listen to some more music. Halfway through 'Paralyzer" by finger eleven, Harold walked in. he seemed a little scared to be near me. But he said anyway "are you still upset about the Courtney thing?" I looked at him, not wanting to answer. My silence seemed to be answer enough, anyways. "I know you liked her, so I'll tell you I didn't vote her off. I voted for you, no offense." Harold said. I sighed. "Yeah. My guess is that Heather did something." I said. "Probably tampered with the votes." I continued.
For some reason, Harold looked pretty uncomfortable at that. He started fidgeting and started to sweat. "What?" I asked him. "nothing." He answered. "It's just really hot in here. I'm gonna go wait for Chris to announce the start of the challenge. Cya." And with that, Harold left.
I walked outside and sat on the sofa when Chris called us back out. "Now remember," he said. "Ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order the help their comrade with the landing." Heather looked up at Trent. "Sayonara Trent. I hope your attempts to impress weird Goth girl are worth the chalk outline." She said. What a bitch. I hope that if they lose, she goes home.
"Uh, did you ever think that maybe Trent is doing this as a form of self expression, like haiku?" Gwen asked. I chuckled. Wonder where that came from. "Or not." She said, embarrassed. Bridgette, who was next to me, smiled and shook her head.
I looked up at the plane just in time to see DJ accidentally push Trent out the plane. I didn't see where he landed, because not long after, DJ jumped. "You know what's really romantic?" Bridgette asked. "Uh, writing someone's name in the snow with your pee?" Geoff answered. I nearly slapped my forehead at that. And I though Owen was stupid. "I was actually thinking more of the written word." Bridgette said. "Oh, you mean like a tattoo. I have one on my butt, wanna see?" Geoff said. I looked up again. DJ was coming down. "Move!" I yelled. We all pushed the sofa as fast as we could, but he was moving all over the place. We got there just in time as he landed on the sofa bed. We cheered as he checked himself for broken bones.
Right when he was about to get up, the sofa bed folded up. We all just whistled and walked away.
"Gophers lose Bass win, 1-0!" Chris announced with the megaphone. Chef pulled Trent over to his team to say some things before they took him to get reboned. I don't know what he said, but Gwen looked pretty disappointed.
"Ok, cowboys. It's time to start the X-Treme Rodeo Moose Challenge!" Chris yelled. Geoff walked over to the moose. "Rodeo riding's kinda like surfing. One you get on, you just flow with the mojo." He said. Bridgette spoke up. "Yeah, flow. Kinda like the ancient art of Japanese haiku." She said. "What's a haiku?" Geoff asked as he climbed up the ladder.
I think I know what's going on now. Harold told me there was a card on someone's food this morning. I guess Gwen and Bridgette found it, and think it's for one of them. I can tell ya right now it's not for Bridgette, cause Geoff can't write. I chuckled to myself.
Geoff spoke again. "Hey, Bridge. Wanna see that tat?" he asked, as he pulled down his pants. Well, the moose went wild after that. It broke out of its pen and ran over Chef, with Geoff still on it. Geoff was screaming, and soon after, he was in the pile of socks. "Ooo… that stinks big time for Bass." Chris said. "No, seriously, that is some rank stuff. LeShawna, let's jet."
"I hope you got a moose burger recipe handy." She said, already on the moose. "Easy, boy. You don't wanna make me mad now." This time, the moose looked ready to kill. "Sweet mother-" Chef started, but he couldn't finish cause he got run over again. LeShawna made it, spending the whole time yelling things like, "woo!" and, "is that the best you got?"
Chris came by with the megaphone again. "So, we have a tie. Whoever wins the X-Treme Seadoo Water ski Challenge wins invincibility." He said. He looked really excited. Jerk. Luckily, I thought of a plan. I didn't want to spend the next few weeks without Courtney, so I decided to get myself booted. There was no other choice. So I told my team I'd drive the wave-jumper. "I'm reeeeaaaaaady!" Lindsay shouted, modeling a green bikini. "We are so dead." Heather shouted. "Unless--- I get to drive the wave jumper!" "Just win the dang shower so I can get my hair did." LeShawna said.
Great. Now Harold was gonna lose. Oh well. I could live without Courtney, right? Besides, she was just a girl, and this was $100,000 we were talking about. But just as I thought that, my stomach hurt. I hadn't met anyone like Courtney, and I'd spent weeks trying to win her over. God Damnit, I was gonna kill Heather first chance I got.
"You are so out of your league, alpha-geek." Heather said. "Here's the road rules: oh wait, there are no rules! Which means, this is gonna be awesome!" Chris said. Then it started. Harold seemed to be doing pretty good, considering he lost his skis as soon as the race started. But then, he crashed. "I don't know what Heather did to make Harold lose his concentration like that, but it's a total wipeout for the Bass team." Chris decided.
Now, it's my turn. "Ready, set, ride it like its sweeps week! Go!" Chris shouted. I went as fast as I could, but Lindsay was still hanging on tight. When she grabbed the first flag, Chris announced, "Flag one!" I hit the wave-jumper with my foot, hoping to shake her loose. But she still held on. "Flags 2 ,3, 4!" Chris shouted again. Man, for a dumb blonde, that chick could really water ski!
"Lindsay has all 5 flags! Duncan has to cross the finish line!" Chris continued. "Says you!" I shouted. I decided that for her to lose, I had to crash. So I deliberately ran into a rock. Well, I was flung into a tree, but miss I'm-So-Pretty-I-Can-Do-What-I-Want went right through the finish line.
"Sorry, Doug!" She yelled. Still doesn't know my name….. "I just really wanted that shower!" "Whatever!" I yelled from up in the tree. Oww….I had a feeling my foot was broken, and I think my ankle snapped. Great. I was also real scratched up, cause there were a lot of branches that had loose twigs, so I probably had some splinters, too.
As Chef led me to the paramedics, the Gophers all lined up to use their shower. "Really could have used that shower." I heard Geoff say. I don't blame him. He really stank. "While the Gophers use their new showers, I'll be seeing you Bass at the bonfire ceremony tonight. But first, I want you to see something. It's last week's confessionals. I thought you might want to know exactly how Courtney got voted off. And, let me say, I was shocked." Chris told us.
THIS was gonna be interesting. Two nights of no sleep, wondering how she got voted off, and now I was finally gonna find out. Everyone on my team looked interested except Harold, who just looked scared. I wonder why……
"Bass, follow me to the mess hall and take a look at the television screen." Chris instructed us. We all did as we were told, and Chris started up the TV. We rolled through the confessionals, one by one.
Geoff: "I'm voting for Harold, man. The dude's not really of any use to the team, except for pranking. (Laughs) Duncan and I really get him good."
Me: "Enjoy your last day at Camp Wawanawkwa, Harold, cause you're not staying."
Bridgette: "well, Harold's been a pain in my ass lately, so, I guess I'm voting for him."
Courtney: "I'd be an idiot to vote for anyone except for Mr. Wawan-awkward himself."
DJ: "I'm voting with Duncan and Geoff. So, bye, Harold."
Chris paused the tape. "What'd ya do that for?!" I asked. "To build up dramatic tension, duh." He said. Bridgette, on the other hand, looked confused. "If that's five votes against Harold, then how'd Courtney leave?" she asked. Chris smiled an evil grin. "You'll find out." He said. The tape began playing again. It was time for Harold's confessional.
Harold, with ballot box: "you guys think you're soooooo funny!" (Opens box with screwdriver) "Let's see what happens when someone messes with your love life." (Switches ballots)
The tape ended.
Harold was so gonna frickin pay! No one does that to me! He's just lucky he ran out of the mess hall before the tape ended. Cause me and the rest of the team wanted to kill him. He switched the votes to get back at me and save his own ass! THAT LITTLE TRAITOR!
Bridgette and I had run out of the mess hall looking for him. DJ and Geoff followed. After a few minutes, Bridgette went to go tell the Gophers what had happened. So now, the whole camp was looking for Harold. Well, except Chef and Chris, who just sat back to watch the 'fun', as they called it. After a few hours, there was no still no sign of Harold. But we needed to do the bonfire ceremony, so Chris announced over the loud speaker to report to the campfire and cast our votes. THAT was when Harold turned up. I guess he realized that he was going home now, so he'd best just come out and face it.
Well, we all voted for Harold, and Chris gave out the marshmallows. "Bridgette, DJ you're both safe." He threw them their marshmallows. "Geoff! You're safe too!" He yelled, and threw Geoff his marshmallow. Geoff was sitting in a tree because he STILL smelled. "Muchos Luchos Compadres!" he yelled.
It was just me and Harold. "I have two Bass in front of me, but only one marshmallow. And it goes to---" Aw, man. Did he have to do that?! I just wanted to get this over with, so I stood up and walked over to Chris. "The chick…….was determined." I half said, half growled. I also grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to me. He looked pretty darn scared.
"Which is why you're safe." He said. I let him down and grabbed my marshmallow. "Harold, time to go." He said. Harold just sat there for a minute before getting his things. We all followed him to the Dock of Shame, including the Gophers. "Farewell, Total Drama Island." He said. "It's been fun. I lived, I loved, and I saw boobies."
"You lived?" Gwen asked. "You loved?" Bridgette asked. "You saw boobies?" LeShawna asked. Harold nodded. "LeShawna, I meant every word of that poem." He said. "Poem? That was you?" LeShawna asked as she moved toward him. It took me about 10 seconds to realize where this was going. LeShawna and Harold ran toward each other, embracing, then finally kissing until Chef dragged Harold off. It was a touching moment, sure, but mine and Courtney's was better. Way better.
"So, Harold really saw your chest?" Trent asked. "Can we see?" Geoff continued. That was really gonna set him back with Bridgette. I chuckled, but she didn't seem to have noticed. "Heck, no." LeShawna said. "Wait," she walked over to the edge of the dock. "Whose chest did you see?" LeShawna yelled to Harold, but he couldn't hear her.
Just then the shower door opened, and out walked Heather. "Oh, no. no, no, no!" LeShawna cried, heading toward Heather. "What?" she asked. "it's not my fault that geek accidentally saw my boobs." LeShawna didn't listen. "You do not mess with me!" she yelled, then chased Heather into the woods. We all laughed.
Life on TDI was looking up.
Me: well that was fun. Told you it'd be better!
Duncan: Yes! Harold's gone! Voted off!
Courtney: he deserves it after what he did to me. That awkward little……
Duncan: chill, Court. We'll get him back personally.
Me: while you two plan revenge against Harold, I wanna say that the next chapter will be Courtney's POV, and since she's not competing any more, it's going to be a little shorter probably. Just giving you guys a heads up….
DJ: hey, if they like the story, they won't care.
Me: Aw, thanks big guy! And another thing; I got my first review the other day! Thanks, totaldramaisland4ever! That reminds me, if you'd like to do the honors, DJ?....
DJ: my pleasure. Review, guys! Dramaprincess really needs the support, here!
