A/N: I have this weird headcanon of Dom singing to Letty every now and then or just singing in general, like Vin, which is how this came about... If you haven't listened to Vin's version of Habits (not the one with Kygo), you definitely should. It's pretty emotional and it's kinda how Dom sings it in this one. Hopefully you guys can see this playing out in your head too :)
Dom tossed and turned hour after hour, unable to get comfortable and fall asleep. His longing to be with Letty overpowered his need for sleep. He couldn't get her off his mind. He had looked forward to this day for more than a year, but now that it had arrived, instead of being happy, he was disappointed. Mostly, though, Dom was just sad, and lonely. His mind buzzed along a million miles a minute, trying to figure out what he should do, to understand what she wanted him to do. An unknown anxiety gripped his gut and tightened his insides for a reason he could not explain.
He dozed off once and then awoke fitfully soon after, sweat running down his body. Ever since Letty had gone away, he had had those vivid nightmares on a depressingly regular basis. Nightmares about losing her. Nightmares where she was in danger and he couldn't get to her, so he had to watch her die. All he had ever wanted to do was to protect her, but he hadn't managed to do that without hurting her in the process. He had completely failed as a husband, hadn't he? He hadn't meant to hurt her and he believed she knew that, but it didn't change the fact she had seemed miles and miles away from him earlier even though she had stood right in front of him.
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he sat up and took a deep breath, rubbing his neck. She may be miles away emotionally, but she was in fact only a few steps away from him physically, sleeping next door in the guest room. Dom knew it was probably a bad idea, but he needed to see her. He was nothing more than a shell of a man without Letty, all dust and ashes, decayed from within, living in a world where the colors had turned to grey. His son made him smile, but even he could not make him feel complete. Without Letty, he just wasn't really living, and if the same was true for her, he had to find out. He needed to talk to her, not right now, but at some point. Maybe tomorrow.
He walked through the hall way and stopped as soon as he had reached the door to her room. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, then turned the knob, going inside. The moonlight coming in through the window at least sketched the outlines of objects in the room, so Dom didn't trip over anything as he made his way to the bed she was sleeping in. Sitting down in the arm chair, he was just inches away from her face and he could instantly feel his heart thundering in his chest. If only she knew how much it meant to him just being able to watch her sleep. He had spent so many days sleeping alone, without her, he had almost forgotten how beautiful she looked when she was dreaming.
He loved to watch her sleep almost as much as he loved to gaze into her arresting brown eyes. He loved watching her slow heartbeat in the vein of her neck, watching her find her own peace in her chaotic world. He loved hearing the sounds come out of her mouth. She didn't really snore, but Letty made the cutest little noises as she breathed. She was the complete opposite in her sleep than when she was awake. She rested peacefully and quietly, like an angel, but the moment she awoke, Letty Ortiz Toretto was like a volcano erupting, so passionately filled with life, it still amazed Dom sometimes that she was the same person he had watched at night.
Dom saw her eyelids flutter as she dreamed and he couldn't help but wonder if she had nightmares too. If she had ever dreamed about him the way he had dreamed about her while she had been gone. His heart ached with longing as he heard her sigh in her sleep and a smile creep up on her lips. She looked so very beautiful, even with her hair all in a tangle—so goddamn beautiful when she smiled like that. He wished he could wake her with a loving kiss, wondered how she would react if he did. Quietly Dom slid the chair closer to the bed and reached out his hand to touch her face, slowly brushing his thumb across Letty's cheek. The Latina stirred, but didn't awaken, yet she moaned happily, and Dom smiled at her reaction.
"I love you so much," he whispered as tears filled his eyes. He brushed them away quickly when they fell.
"Dom," he heard his name fall from her lips and for a second he wasn't sure if she was dreaming or awake. But then she opened her eyes and looked at him through her lashes and his heart instantly dropped to the floor at his feet. All the air shot from his lungs and he was unable to even make the smallest sound.
One moment, she could feel Dom's hand on her face but just a second after she had whispered his name, he lost touch with her completely. He froze like a bunny caught in the headlights. His chest barely moved, like he wasn't even breathing. Dom looked like he wanted to run away but his body was failing him. Letty stared right into his eyes, he stared back at her, and she could see that he had been crying. She wondered how long he had been sitting there, watching her sleep, or why he was even there in the first place, but didn't dare to ask him. There was something so heartwarming about having him there, she really didn't want to ruin the moment.
She looked at him in silence. God, how much she had missed seeing that face first thing in the morning! She remembered every single day she had to wake up alone and not been able to look at that beautiful face through half awake eyes, and she felt the pain of those days like she was experiencing it right now. She wanted those days to be over. She wanted to fall asleep in Dom's arms again and see his face when she opened her eyes. She wanted so much to forgive him. Letty knew it wouldn't be easy to adjust to life with Marcos, but it was important for her to feel—deep in her heart—that she really wanted to this work.
Dom slowly got to his feet. "I didn't mean to wake you, Letty, I'm sorry," he apologized in a hushed voice as he started to walk away, but Letty flung out an arm and gripped his brawny forearm to stop him. Dom turned around, staring at her, his eyes questioning her intentions.
"Stay," she said quietly, pulling at his arm a little. "I don't want you to go." Her voice was so weak, Dom could barely hear it.
"You sure about that?" he asked, and she nodded.
"Please," Letty breathed, "hold me," and a silent tear made its way down her cheek.
Dom hesitated briefly, not because he didn't want to—he wanted it too much. His arms ached to hold her, his mouth thirsted for her kisses, and his body longed to be joined with hers. His heart, his soul—his entire being—longed for her with a compelling fierceness he couldn't control and he just didn't want to make things worse between them by crossing a line that he shouldn't cross. He was so scared to fuck up again, he didn't want to move too fast. But seeing the pleading look on Letty's face, seeing how much she needed him to be there for her, almost broke his heart. Maybe this was wrong, but sometimes what you had to do wasn't always right.
Climbing into bed, he spooned up behind her, draping his arm across Letty's waist, and buried his face in her hair. He drew her securely into his arms, knowing this was a major breakthrough in her trust. His lips brushed the back of her neck and he sighed, closing his eyes. Letty snuggled backward into him and stroked a hand down his forearm as it held her tight. She heard him breathe deeply, felt Dom's chest move behind her back, and she closed her lids against everything but the feel of his weight against her. Her fingers curled around his arm as she rested her hands on his clasped against her stomach.
Only Letty had ever brought this protective tenderness out in him; only Letty made him ache with a fierce need to hold her, touch her. Hold her close against his heart for the rest of his life. The silky strands of her hair brushed lightly against his face as he nuzzled her neck. It still felt surreal to him that after all this time looking for her, she finally had come home—and he would never let her go again. Even if she chose to give him up for the sake of his kid, because she couldn't be a mother to Elena's child, he'd never stop fighting for her and for this love they had for each other. Because she did love him. He could feel it. It was evident in the way her body spoke to him, in every heartbeat, each breath she took.
Dom opened his mouth to speak, but not a single sound escaped from his lips. He didn't know if Letty even wanted him to say something, so he rather didn't. Minutes grew into hours, as Dom held her tight, and neither broke the intimacy of their embrace. He thought she had fallen back asleep, but realized quickly that she hadn't as her fingers moved over his skin, stroking it lightly. It was still dark outside, but he could tell the sun would soon rise. Dom breathed in her scent, heaving a deep sigh, and pulled her closer. Knowing they still were at odds with each other, still needed to work this out, made his heart feel heavy. Why couldn't everything just be okay again?
"You're gone and I gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh," Dom started singing softly into her ear, "High all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh," and his voice almost cracked under the weight of his emotions. "I spend my days locked in a haze, tryna forget you, babe." He didn't hold back the tears as he shared his pain through his voice. Singing to Letty was the only thing he thought he could do right now to let her know how it felt to be without her, because it was easier than fumbling for words. "I fall back down. I gotta stay high all my life, to forget I'm missing you."
When he repeated the chorus, and Letty heard his voice break, heard him sniff, the warm liquid of Dom's tears tracing a path down the side of her face, she couldn't hold back her own tears any more as a flood of emotions pushed open the gates and let them escape. She grabbed his arms more tightly, melting into the strength and shelter of Dom's body, and it was as if they flowed together like a stream. He stopped singing and they both cried silently together, cheek pressed to cheek, holding each other like shipwreck survivors clinging to a raft in a shark-infested sea; like this was the last night they'd be together.
Letty knew if she turned over and looked at him she'd be able to see his features. She'd be able to see the face, all the features that made up the man she loved. Loving him and not knowing what the future held ached inside her. She knew things would be okay eventually. She knew his love for her would help to pull her through all of her insecurities, because it always had made her feel strong, but there was so much going on in her head right now that somehow she still felt like she had no solid ground to stand on and was slowly sinking into a hidden plot of quicksand.
Turning in his arms, she saw the truth in his eyes; that despite their differences, despite the pain they both felt, this moment meant just as much to him as it meant to her. Sadness lay in his tearful eyes but they seemed to smile at her. Dom's lips trembled, as if he was trying to speak but could not. His lips. Letty looked at his soft, rounded lips and felt a tingle in her stomach. Months had passed since she had last met his gorgeous lips with a kiss. A year had gone by without the feel of his lips against hers. She could hardly remember their last kiss, couldn't remember how it felt to kiss him, although it seemed her body still knew what it was like because the mere thought of Dom's lips on her skin, made excitement sizzle like champagne through her veins.
Dom stared at her, watched Letty's gaze fall to his lips, and knew right away what to make of that. He had been with her long enough to know exactly what she looked like when she wanted to kiss him, and he was convinced she wanted to do it this very moment—if only she'd give in and act on that desire. He wanted to kiss her, too, but he also wanted her to feel comfortable around him and assaulting her lips wasn't the best way to make her feel that way. But if he couldn't kiss her then at least he wanted to touch her. He already was touching her, strictly speaking, because his arms were around her body, but he wondered, if she'd be okay with him touching her face.
Tentatively, Dom moved one hand from behind her back to the front and wrapped it around her cheek. Then he watched her reacting to it and was glad to see her closing her eyes. It meant Letty was feeling it, not fighting it. Letty's breath eased through narrowed lips as he let his thumb glide over her skin, a slow burn trailed behind each stroke. It was so intense, she felt a tear slip out of the corner of her eye. It ran down her cheek and Dom caught it with his thumb and brushed it away with that same tenderness he was caressing her skin. As she opened her eyes, she fell directly into his gaze and sucked in a slight gasp, Dom's glance so intimate.
"I've missed you so much, Letty," he whispered and smiled weakly. Dom's thumb grazed her lips, first her upper and then her bottom lip. It sent shivers down her spine. "I wanna kiss you so bad." His voice was like velvet, smooth and soft.
Letty reached out her hand, moving it to the back of his head where she let her fingers glide over the skin of his neck and along the side of his face to the front. Resting her hand on Dom's cheek, she smiled softly; a genuine smile, like his words had sparked something in her. She ran her thumb over his skin and Dom shut his eyes, savoring her touch, savoring the trust building between them. He felt the soft brush of her mouth across the left corner of his lips and wished she'd allow him to turn his head and kiss her properly. But he felt like this was what made Letty feel most comfortable and so he didn't move at all and just let the warm tingly feeling wash over him.
And he stayed awash in that feeling even after her lips had lost touch with his mouth; right up until the moment Letty's voice cut softly through the silence, as she told him, "I've missed you, too."
Dom slowly opened his eyes, hers staring into his, and he saw a sad expression sweep across her face. "I never meant to make you leave," he whispered to her.
Letty looked at the cross necklace dangling from his neck, surprised he was wearing it. "Thought you left that on Cipher's plane," she mumbled, as she took it carefully into her hand. It meant so much. That piece of silver was worth a fortune to her. It reminded her of their journey. It reminded her that they shared an unbreakable bond, one that could not even be broken by the agonizing circumstance that her husband had fathered another woman's child. As much as it hurt to be with him right now, it would always hurt more to be alone. She never wanted to be without him.
"I did," he said, looking down at her hand, as she played with the cross. "But I got it back, because it's the only thing I had left of you." Their eyes met. "I will always keep it."
"You had my heart."
"What?"
"You had my heart," she repeated, louder this time. "You still had my heart." Letty looked deeply at him, as she let go of the cross necklace. "You'll always have it, Dom... Even when I'm not around, you're gonna have all of me. And you don't need that stupid thing to remind you."
"It's not stupid, Letty... Why would you—" Dom's calm face broke with a touch of anger behind his eyes as he pulled back a little, but she had a feeling he was just hurt.
"I'm sorry," Letty sighed. "I didn't—It's not—I didn't mean to say—I'm just tired." Laying her head on the pillow, she rubbed her sore eyes and ran a hand through her hair, then looked back at him. He still seemed confused—hurt. "Dom," she said with a small voice, "I'm really sorry, okay? I didn't mean what I said... C'mon, you know how much it means to me."
"I should go," he muttered, taking his eyes off her. He shifted on the mattress, but Letty was quick to grab his arm—again—when Dom had already swung a leg over the side of the bed. He turned around and avoided eye contact at first, but with a strong pull of his arm, she made him look at her.
"I said stay." Her voice was stern, but that shaft of moonlight, falling across her face, told him she felt sad and lonely, desperate to figure out a way to make their relationship work, to make it whole again. It was obvious that she didn't want him to leave, but he didn't know what she really wanted him to do instead.
"And then what, Letty? Should I just let you insult me? Be mad at me? I can't do this, I'm sorry." He made a move to turn back around, but she pulled his arm with such force that he almost stumbled and fell on the bed. "What the hell, Let?" Dom let out, loud but not angry.
Letty took a deep breath. She knew she didn't have the energy to fight with him, or even argue with him. If he didn't want to stay, there wasn't anything she could do—should do—but if he was just mad at her for opening her mouth, then she would just shut up. "Do you wanna stay?" she asked him and let go of Dom's arm. "Because I don't wanna sleep alone tonight." Her voice was filled with sadness now. "And if there's any chance that you don't want to either, I really wish you'd stay."
Dom sighed deeply, as he ran a hand over his eyes and face. Of course he wanted to stay. In fact, he never wanted to leave her side ever again. He just didn't want to fight with her. Not tonight. Sure, they had to talk about everything sooner or later, he knew that, but tomorrow would be soon enough. Tonight, Dom just wanted to hold her in his arms and be grateful for the fact that she was finally back home. He wanted to make her feel how much it meant to him that she had decided to stay, and he could do that without talking. Words had already ruined this moment once; he wouldn't let them do it again.
Dom stared at her, looked into her tearful eyes, and said quietly, "Of course I wanna stay."
For a moment, he thought he saw the ghost of a smile on Letty's face. Then she shifted onto her side and he took that as a hint to crawl back under the sheets and slid his arms around her waist, pressing against her back. He skimmed his first two knuckles slowly over her arm, from shoulder to the bend of her elbow to her sensitive inner wrist, and she sighed and eased against him. Her fingers closed about his, where his knuckles had crept from her wrist to her palm. Kissing her shoulder and then her neck, Dom relaxed into the pillow, the silk of her skin seeping into his pores while he basked in the flood of hair laying between them. Dom took a deep breath and pulled her closer—he could never have her close enough.
"I'm sorry about what I said," she whispered, "about the cross."
"Shh, it's okay," he assured her, as he threaded his fingers with hers and gave her hand a squeeze. "I know how you feel about it."
Silence settled between them for a few minutes, then she whispered to him, "Sing me to sleep."
He chuckled softly, telling her, "You don't even like my singing," and if he could have seen her face, he would've been able to catch the small movement of her lips. She was smiling—only briefly, but still.
"I just wanna hear your voice," she breathed out with a deep sigh and closed her eyes.
After more than a year without him, missing him, wishing she could talk to him, she now realized how much she had actually missed the sound of that sweet baritone. Hearing his voice was like taking air after a long deep, dive. She didn't just want to hear it, she needed to hear it—to remind herself that she really was home and that Dom was there to hold and be with her. There was just something about his voice that made her feel perfectly comfortable with him, even when he sounded angry, and that was exactly what she needed to feel right now. She needed to hear his voice, because it could drown out the loud voice inside her head that had her listening to the doubts and fears in her thinking.
"What do you want me to sing?" While he spoke, he played, tracing her fingers, caressing her knuckles.
"I don't care, just sing."
Dom felt Letty snuggling backward into him again and instantly pulled her closer. "I think I know just the perfect song," his voice brushed against her, raising goose bumps.
"I love you," she said, her voice so soft, he had almost not heard it.
He smiled sweetly. It was obvious she hadn't actually meant to say it, at least not to say it out loud. He could feel it in the way her body tensed suddenly against his. "And I love you," he answered, lifting his head so he could kiss her cheek. "I love you, Letty... and I always will." Dom held still for a moment, as he watched her react to his words and touch. Then he brushed her cheek lightly with his soft lips followed by gentle, butterfly kisses to it.
Dom tightened his hold on her and nuzzled his cheek against hers. It was hard not to break out in tears with all the emotions raging inside him, he had to admit that—and he had seen the tears in her eyes waiting to fall—but it was a good thing that they both felt so deeply about this, and about each other. Not that he had ever had any doubts, but it meant that there was still something worth fighting for. It meant they both wanted the same thing, and that was for them to heal so they could find joy and comfort in their relationship again. They had been truly happy, especially during their honeymoon in Cuba, and that happiness was the one thing they both wanted more than anything else.
"We'll be okay, baby, I promise," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. He cleared his throat and then started singing quietly, "When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case... I could offer you a warm embrace... To make you feel my love."
Dom sang every single word of that song, although he noticed her sleeping peacefully just a minute after the first verse. She was exhausted, he could tell. He was, too, but singing to her helped him relax so that he actually had no other thought but sleep on his mind. When he felt like settling into the sheets and close his eyes, Letty turned in his arms and he rested his gaze on her face. Dom smiled as he brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes and gave her a loving kiss on the forehead. Not knowing what the morning would bring made him feel anxious—he hated the thought of fighting with her again—but this night had given him so much hope; hope that their love for each other was strong enough to survive this.
