Disclaimer: Power Rangers belongs to Saban. The song lyrics in this chapter are taken from "The Dirt Whispered" by Rise Against. The other songs referenced are by Michael Jackson (don't believe me? Google it.) and Scary Kids Scaring Kids.
A/N: Sorry about the delay - real life and internet issues can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, followed, favorited, etc. It really does mean a lot. Now, as the Rangers would say: "Back to action!"
Scott Residence
July 10, 2012
9:25 AM
"It's your choice, Jason. Make it."
Kim sat at her kitchen table, her head propped up on her hands, staring out the window at the small backyard behind the house. Early morning sunlight filtered through the bay window, casting elongated shadows along the hardwood floor of the small kitchen area. Closing her eyes, Kim let out a long, slow breath and ran a hand gently over the large, ugly bruise that ran across her upper chest from one shoulder to the other. In the two hours since the incident in the park, the wound had turned an angry yellow color and the entire area was still tender.
Opening her eyes, Kim stared blankly at the faux wood grain of the table, letting herself get lost in the sounds around her. In the connected living room, Tommy was pacing back and forth, no doubt trying to calm himself down. He'd been almost visibly shaking when they'd arrived at the house, his face growing more and more pale, and had immediately locked himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Kim felt a disturbing certainty that he'd been in there throwing up.
Jason, on the other hand, had changed clothes and disappeared into the basement. Loud music now drifted up to her from down there, the pounding bass and driving guitar undoubtedly fueling what she imagined was an intense workout; she felt sorry for the punching bag.
Groaning, Kim rose slowly to her feet and crept past the living room to the top of the basement stairs. Tommy didn't even notice her, just continued pacing across the carpeted floor, staring off into space. She considered stopping him and suggesting he call Kat again, but the thought occurred to her that all that might do was start an argument that she really didn't want to be responsible for.
As she made her way down the stairs, she realized that the music she'd thought would be loud from upstairs was likely deafening behind the closed basement door. Bracing herself, Kim pulled the door open and was nearly physically pushed back by the force of the sound. Some vague part of her mind recognized the song, but she couldn't place it. Gazing across the uncovered concrete floor, she winced at the assault on her ears and watched Jason for a moment as he viciously attacked the punching bag they'd hung from the basement ceiling. He shone with sweat, the red T-shirt he'd put on already soaked through; he wore an expression of intense concentration, and every few moments a glimmer of red flashed in his eyes.
"Jason!" Kim shouted, but the music completely drowned her out. She took a few steps forward as the song ended and a new one started, noticing as she did that Jason altered his rhythm to match the new song. Kim was more familiar with this one; Jason mouthed the words as he assaulted the punching bag.
She got down on hands and knees,
One ear against the ground, holding
Her breath to hear something
But the dirt made not a sound.
"Jason!" Kim screamed again, louder this time, placing a hand on his wet shoulder. He flinched at her touch and jumped back, dropping into a defensive stance. "It's me, it's me!" She quickly cried, holding a hand out in front of her.
Jason visibly relaxed, lowering his arms and stepping back from her before leaning against the punching bag, breathing heavily. He gestured with one hand at the room around them. "Sorry," he said, speaking so quietly she was forced to read his lips. "Didn't realize you'd be able to hear this."
"Baby, the Rangers on Aquitar can probably hear this," Kim replied loudly. "Speaking of which, do you mind?" Jason's eyes suddenly widened and he reached out to a nearby piece of plastic shelving, producing a small remote. He pointed it at a receiver on the wall behind the punching bag and the music abruptly stopped, leaving the basement ringing with leftover reverberations. Kim closed her eyes and let out a sigh of relief at the silence. Jason lowered the remote and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of one gloved hand.
"Are you OK?" Kim asked, looking at her husband with concern. "Zack told me the last time you went on a Rise Against kick like this you tailed some random British guy through downtown Geneva for four hours and then threatened to rip his head off if he ever even thought wrong about Trini again."
Jason looked up at her and smiled. "Son of a bitch had it coming. Besides, I'm pretty sure that was Disturbed. Zack always said that one white guy with a guitar sounds like every other to him."
Kim laughed a little and smiled back. "So do we have anything to be afraid of this time?"
"No, not today. You ever catch me listening to a lot of Avenged Sevenfold, though, you may want to hide the sharp objects."
Both of them chuckled at that; Jason began taking his sparring gloves off. Kim stepped forward and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, but Jason jumped back again, leaving her standing there, hand outstretched, staring at him, bewildered. Jason closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. When he opened them, Kim nearly gasped at the pain she saw there.
"I don't know how you can stand being so close to me after what I just did," he said softly, removing his other glove and tossing them to the floor behind him.
"Jason, stop it," Kim said with a sigh. She gestured at herself. "Look at me. I'm fine, you're fine; everything is OK."
"There's nothing OK about me trying to choke you to death," Jason replied, his voice barely audible. "And look at your chest. That was me – I did that. I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never let anyone hurt you and now…" his voice broke and he trailed off, glancing away at a spot on the wall. Kim couldn't help but notice the shine in the corners of his eyes.
Kim moved toward Jason again, more boldly this time, and grabbed Jason's chin before he had a chance to pull away. She yanked his head around to face her and waited for him to make eye contact with her before she spoke again, softer this time. "Damn it, Jason." She smiled gently at him and released her grip on his chin to cup his cheek. "They should classify that guilt complex of yours as a genuine mental illness and name it after you." When she didn't get the smile she was hoping for, Kim brought her other hand up and rested it on Jason's lower back. She struggled to ignore how tense he felt, the muscles beneath her hand pulled so taut they felt like bungee cords about to snap.
Kim took a deep breath and continued, concentrating on keeping her voice steady. "One of the most important things I learned during our time as Rangers was that people can think, and feel, and believe a lot of things. Some of those things we aren't afraid to share with the world; some of those things we'd die to defend. But there will also always be thoughts, feelings, desires that we're ashamed of, that we fight desperately to keep hidden, no matter how badly we want to act on them. And none of those thoughts, none of those feelings..." he glanced away and she pressed against his cheek until he turned back, the sweat on his face now mixed with a few stray tears. "None of those things determine who we are. They don't. You know why? Because no matter how powerful those urges are, no matter how painful it might be to fight them, we always have a choice. We have the power to choose whether to act on those feelings or not; we have the power to choose to do what we know is right. Those choices, Jason – those choices are what define us, what make us who we are, good or bad. And I have never," she quickly added as he opened his mouth to interrupt. "Never met anyone who's made more impossibly hard choices or been willing to give up more of himself to defend what he knows is right than you. Your willingness to look past what you want, what you feel, and do the right thing for the greater good is what made you such a great leader and a great Ranger all those years ago; and they're what make you such a great man now. Those choices have made you just as much of a legend as Tommy will ever be."
Kim paused for a moment, gauging Jason's reaction to her words, half-expecting him to interrupt or pull back, but he never did. The two of them just stood there for a moment in the silent room, staring into each other's eyes until Kim found the words to continue.
"You have another choice to make now, Jase. You have to choose whether or not you're willing to put aside pride, put aside your undeserved guilt, and do what has to be done to get this thing out of you once and for all. Because it's that thing, Jason," Kim jabbed her finger at the side of Jason's head. "It's that thing that's trying to rob you of the one thing that makes you so powerful: your ability to choose. The man I know, the man I fell in love with? He would stop at nothing to find a way to beat this thing, to destroy it before it hurt anyone else. So you have to ask yourself." Kim let go of Jason and stepped back, letting her hands drop to her sides. "Are you gonna let go of all this bullshit self-recrimination and let us help you kill this thing, or are you gonna spend so much time wallowing in things you couldn't control that you let it take away everything that ever mattered to you? It's your choice, Jason. Make it."
Jason stared at her, searching her face for something, but Kim stood her ground. The next move was his – he had to take it himself. Finally, after a long, almost unbearable moment, Jason set his jaw, covered the distance between them in two steps and threw his arms around her, pressing his lips against hers as passionately as if it were the last chance he'd ever get. When he eventually pulled back, he kept his arms wrapped around her and squeezed her close, her head resting against his chest.
"When did you get so good at the leader speech?"
"Learned from the best."
Kim stepped back gently and Jason left his arms wrapped loosely around her waist, smiling softly at her. "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?"
She grinned back at him, rubbing slow circles on his chest with both hands. "Goes Without Saying."
"Let me say it anyway. I love you, Kim. What you said just now…it was amazing. I can't tell you how awesome it feels to know that you really think that about me." He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the forehead. "You really are too good for me."
"And don't you forget it," she replied with a giggle. "Now let's get upstairs. We both need showers before everyone gets here."
"You think they'll go totally apeshit on us when we drop this in their laps?"
"Come on. You know them – they may freak out at first but they care too much about us to stay mad about something like this."
"Though Aisha will probably try to kill me when she sees that bruise."
"OK, no promises on that one," Kim said with a laugh. "But I'll do my best to restrain her."
"That's comforting," he muttered under his breath. She gasped in mock anger and turned to slug him, but he swept her off the ground and carried her bridal-style up the stairs, laughing as she shrieked with delight.
As Jason and Kim reached the top of the stairs, Tommy made a beeline for them, shoving his phone into his pocket as he did so. He cut them off in the entryway; Jason jerked to a stop, tightening his grip around Kim. She had looped her left arm around his neck – the right was gently, distractedly caressing Jason's jaw line. Tommy saw Kim smirk with satisfaction as Jason drew in a shaky, husky breath and clenched his fingers tighter around her legs and shoulder. Tommy shook his head and cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Kat just called. She's gotten the news out to almost everyone, but no one can get a hold of Billy. She said he isn't answering at home or on his cell and –"
"He turns his cell off when he's at work," Kim said abruptly. Tommy glanced at Jason, who couldn't manage more than a slight nod. Tommy grinned as his friend closed his eyes and gently shook his head, clearly struggling against Kim's touch, fighting not to drop her on her ass. "We have his work number. I'll take care of it. Give us ten minutes."
Jason pushed past Tommy and bounded up the stairs, taking them several at a time.
"Ten minutes for what?"
"Shower!" Jason yelled back, charging down the short hallway and practically throwing Kim through the bathroom door. He squatted and plopped her on the linoleum; by the time she'd gotten to her feet, his shirt was already off and the water was running. Before she knew it, she was pressing Jason's back against the tile wall that lined the shower, the two of them losing themselves in each other as the room filled up with steam.
