"KERBEH! GET BACK HERE YOU LIL' RASCAL!" Dedede's voice exploded from around the corner, followed by a rather distressed Kirby dashing down the hallway.

The puffball looked bigger than usual and had his mouth closed tightly while his arms waved madly in the air. Actually, his arms waved madly atop his head. A furious-looking Dedede appeared from around the corner, slammed the head of his hammer onto the floor and used that as an anchor to make the sharp turn. He swung around with ease and used the momentum to catch up to the sphere. Kirby shut his eyes and sped up as the King of Dreamland tried to clobber him into the floorboards. The floors of the mansion trembled with each strike of the king's mighty hammer.

Jigglypuff was unlucky enough to be caught up in this madness. The poor puff just needed to traverse from the main hall to her dorm. Dedede thought he had finally acquired his target when he landed a blow on a pink sphere and smacked her against the wall.

"Ha ha! I've gotcha now, Kirby!"

Jigglypuff was stuck to the wall face-first momentarily, then slid down into a miserable pile of pink. He picked up the dazed puff from her foot and she dangled helplessly in Dedede's grasp.

"Wait a minute, you ain't Kirby!" the King bellowed, dropped the poor Pokemon back on the floor and continued his pursuit around the mansion, "I'll get that pesky scoundrel this time!"


"Well, I have been banned from tournaments in a few circles... I had freedom during the ban, yes, but those tournaments had consumed most of my life. Fighting here has made me feel... alive. I simply felt empty without the battles. Returning to my home-world did not appeal to me at all. Kirby and Dedede stayed in the Smash Universe. Though I still do wonder what the Halberd Crew are up to..." Meta Knight glanced at Bayonetta, who was listening intently. Bayonetta noticed that his eyes flickered between grey and yellow throughout their conversation, indicating his sadness. "Forgive me if I have strayed from the topic. What I am saying is, the nerf was not the worst thing that could have happened. No matter how harsh it was."

Bayonetta huffed. "I suppose you're right, masked one," They both continued walking, Meta Knight had his cloaked wrapped around him and Bayonetta had her arms folded. "Speaking of home worlds, is there any way to communicate with our friends back home?"

Meta Knight's eyes glowed green in deep thought, "Now that I think about it... Master Hand did not tell us anything about conversing with our acquaintances in separate worlds."

"Oh..." Bayonetta murmured, her eyes downcast. It had already been a few months since she had arrived in the Smash Universe, so homesickness was sure to kick in sooner or later.

"It must be hard entering the Smash Universe on your own. Believe it or not, Kirby was one of the first ever Smashers, making him the veteran out of all of us. When Dedede and I arrived, he was overjoyed. Heh, he even teared up. After all, Kirby is still a child in our species' standards. The homesickness affected him greatly." Meta Knight's eyes glowed magenta in affection for the puffball.

Talking about the puffball did make Bayonetta feel better, so she decided to continue the conversation. "I've noticed that you're pretty close to the little one."

"I could say the same for you, Bayonetta. Our body shapes may be similar, but I am not Kirby's father. Just his mentor. Which reminds me, you can summon demons, right? It is surprising that Kirby is not at all suspicious of you."

"Hm? How so?"

"Kirby and I are Star Warriors. Back in our home-world, it was our duty to protect the galaxy from harm, which mostly came from demons, monsters and the occasional sentient robots."

"Ah, so you both play the oh so cliched role of heroes?" Bayonetta gave Meta Knight her signature smirk.

"Well, yes. That is one way to put it."

Suddenly, the duo heard rapid squish noises equivalent to footsteps. Then, a certain puffball rushed towards them. Pink and blue collided painfully. More specifically, metal and plush collided painfully. Bayonetta's eyes flashed in amusement.

"What happened to your evading skills? Don't tell me you got nerfed as well," she jested.

"Oof..." was the only reply Meta Knight could muster.

A black and blue wolf-like Pokemon soon appeared from around the corner, followed by an angry penguin.

"...Dedede, I swear you're gonna have to pay me back for this..." Lucario's weary voice rumbled as Dedede dashed forward to grab Kirby. Unfortunately for him, Bayonetta stepped in his way. That didn't stop him from giving Kirby an earful, though.

"What did I tell ya about takin' my food? What is this? The 8th, 9th time? You've done it so much that I've lost count!" Dedede scolded.

The puffball didn't seem bothered at all by Dedede's lecture. Heck, Bayonetta doubted that he even heard what the penguin said. Instead, he spat out the treasure trove contained in his mouth, his eyes gleaming excitedly. Lollipops of various colors and shapes scattered throughout the floor. He grabbed a red one and offered it to the Umbra Witch, eyes still sparkling and mouth agape in glee. His gesture caught Bayonetta by surprise.

"Aw, you're too much, little one," she cooed fondly and picked up the puffball, who went ahead and fed the sweet to the witch, the sparkle in his eyes never faltering. "I assume you want a reward from me," Bayonetta cooed as she cradled the little one with one arm and caressed his head. Kirby gladly sank into her touch with a contented purr.

Meta Knight and Dedede's hearts quite possibly melted at that point, but Lucario thought otherwise.

"...Did you just eat a lollipop that was spat out by a pink marshmallow? He was running a lot with them in his mouth too!" Lucario exclaimed with a look of disgust on his face.

"Don't be silly, wolf-"

"The name's Lucar-"

"Well then, Luka. First of all, the little one didn't spit the sweets out. If he did, there'd be some sort of fluid on the floor," Bayonetta answered with a voice sweeter than honey. "Though, in my opinion, those fluids would have actually enhanced the flavor," she deliberately made her voice sultry to tease the Pokemon.

Lucario's eyes widened and he felt blood rushing to his face. He was clearly taken aback with what the witch had said.

"Wh-What's wrong with you! Nevermind, forget I asked..." Bayonetta smirked at his reaction.

"Urf... You owe me big time, Dedede," Lucario muttered while scratching the back of his ears.

"Now what did I do?"

"Are you serious? You used me as a hound to track down Kirby! A hound! Do you have any idea how demoralizing that was? What's worse, you grabbed me and wouldn't let me go until you got what you wanted!" Lucario lashed out.

All eyes trained on Dedede.

"Heheh, I s'pose I did..." he chuckled and grinned with his eyes closed.

"Not funny, Dedede..." Lucario growled, "either you pay me back, or I'll completely destroy you in a battle for everyone to see!"

"Well, sorry to say, bud. That ain't gonna be much of an achievement for ya. I'm at the bottom of the ol' tier list,"

"Gee, you're proud of that, aren't you?" the Pokemon snarled.

As he turned around to leave, he caught sight of the stare Bayonetta was giving him. It wasn't a death stare, nor a "you'll regret that later" stare. It was a teasing stare which, if accompanied by a seductive lick of the lips, would temporarily immobilize you. She was looking at him with an eyebrow arched, an elbow propped up against the wall, holding a clean lollipop stick and of course, a Kirby nestled safely in the crook of her arm. He shouldn't have looked for that long, because the next thing he knew was that his feet were rooted to the ground.

Lucario gasped once he regained his composure and almost lost his balance. The crew watched Lucario leave rather hurriedly, stumbling upon his own feet.

"Well, that was certainly something." Meta Knight proclaimed after a moment's silence.

The King of Dreamland snatched a handful of the scattered lollipops and hid them in his coat. When Kirby realized what the king was doing, he wriggled out of Bayonetta's grasp and seized the remaining ones on the floor.

"Darn it, Kirby..." Dedede's voice faltered when Kirby went ahead and offered the witch all of the treats. That gleam in his eyes never seemed to waver. He didn't even take one for himself, which was quite a big deal considering how much he loved to eat.

"Now, this puffball knows exactly how to treat a lady. Come here, sweetheart," Bayonetta couldn't hide her amusement from her voice. She just couldn't, not when Kirby was being as adorable as this. Bayonetta picked up the pink marshmallow and cuddled him tightly. She grabbed a lollipop from his hoard and popped it into the puffball's mouth. "You deserve it, little one," the witch whispered and the pink sphere giggled the sweetest giggle in response. Bayonetta couldn't contain herself any longer. She let out a sound of half-laughter and half-frustration at how endearing the little puffball was and almost squished him in her embrace.

"...I swear I'm gettin' soft," Dedede mumbled.

Meta Knight took a playful jab at Dedede's belly, "You were always soft, my friend."

"...You've been spending too much time with Dr. Mario, haven't you?"

Meta Knight did something equivalent to a shrug, though a smile lay quite comfortably beneath that mask of his.


I do not ship BayoCario.

In fact, there'll be no ships at all in this fic.

Let's get that clear.

Author notes I guess

-I feel like Bayonetta would try to tease anyone she meets for their reactions, considering how playful and cheeky she is. Please don't mistake this as shipping. It's kinda pissing me off. Can't a character have fun without nerds jumping all over and yelling about ships?

-I always wanted to write about how Bayo reacted to the nerf, so that's how the conversation between MK and Bayo started. Who would've thought that the salt queen would be salty?

-Inserted a lil' Bayo 1 reference in there. Probably very obvious to fans of the franchise.

-Dr Mario is the specialist in puns and jokes in this story, because no story is complete without puns and jokes, riiight? This was inspired by several Smash Bros comics on Tumblr.

-I'm gradually adding more characters to the list, though the Fire Emblem characters most probably won't make it. Sorry to disappoint, but I have no interest in any of them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-"If there are no lollipops in a fanfiction with Bayonetta, it is not Bayonetta enough."

-Some drunk Asian

-Kirby and Bayonetta being able to interact like this is probably the best thing that has ever happened in the Smash franchise. I want the two to have a mother and child relationship, like Bayonetta and Cereza in the first Bayonetta game.

For this, I thank you so much, Daddy Sakurai.