(The Next day...)

16…

My Pine Tree was 16 years old! Where had the time gone?

I hovered over my precious Sapling and watched him sleep silently. Four years had passed since I first met the snot nose brat that would soon become the center of my crazy, ad insane world. For me it was as if it had all past with a single blink of my eye. The strange thing was I hated the fact that my Pine Tree was getting older, because the older he got; the closer to death he became.

It was troubling to say the least, and with every passing day it was becoming harder to deal with. There are even times when I have to force myself to avoid him, just to resist the urge to not kidnap him and lock him away.

My Sapling shifted slightly in his bed, and I sighed deeply, despite myself. Not that I care right now, after all I'm alone. The twins had long ago gotten separate rooms, for obvious reasons; much to my delight.

Why does this make me happy you might ask?

Because now I can spy on my Pine Tree without worrying about Shooting Star rolling over in her bed across the room and giving me a weird look.

Suddenly the door creaks beside me and wouldn't you know it there she is. "Bill?" Shooting Star whispered, giving me her famous weird look.

'Speak of the devil.' I joked to myself and put my finger to my eye. "Shhh." I whispered, pulling out a blow horn.

Shooting Star smiles as she gets the gist.

Now to say that Shooting Star and I are friends is an exaggeration. Sure, we both get our kicks out of pulling pranks on Pine Tree, but that's usually the only time we're on the same side.

I chuckle softly and blow the horn right into the kid's ear. "Happy Birthday Pine Tree!"

The kid jumps maybe ten feet in the air, screaming loudly, falling to the floor with a loud thump.

I of course erupt into a fit of laughter, floating just out of reach.

"Bill!" Pine Tree screams at me angrily, rubbing his butt, which is probably sore from the fall.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Shrine Hat pushes past Shooting Star and shoots a can of silly string into the kid's face.

"Gruncle Stan!" My sapling cries, his voice cracking slightly, which only makes me laugh harder. Shrine Hat joins in, after all what 16-year-old boy still has voice cracking problems?

Pine Tree, that's who!

Finally Shooting Star steps in.

"Okay guys enough, it's our birthday so no picking on Dipper!" she exclaimed, trying to disguise her own laughter with a stern look.

"Aw we're just kidding" Shrine Hat assured her.

"Yeah sure we are." I laugh at my own joke.

Of course, this only angers my Sapling more. I watch as his face turns red, and I wait for him to make a move. You see you can never be too sure about him; sometimes he would simply march off in a heated huff, and other times he's more daring.

So, I wait, and our eyes meet for a moment, and then to my surprise he snatches the silly string out of Shrine Hat's hands and sprays me with it. I blink as I'm suddenly covered in purple silly string.

Shrine Hat and Shooting Starburst into laughter, I simply scowl.

"Not so funny now is it?" Pine Tree teased.

Normally I'd get vengeance, but since it's his birthday I simply settle with curving my eye slightly, suggesting an evil smile.

Of course, this causes my Sapling to shiver in obvious fear. "Okay what's everyone laughing about?" Sixer asked walking in.

Of course, once he sees me his question is answered, and he quickly bursts out in laughter.

I wipe off the purple strings with a "HUMPH" and start floating out of the attic and down the staircase.

The Pines family follow my lead, laughing all the way.

Now I know what you're thinking, 'That's what you get for trying to take over the multiverse you triangle jerk!' But seriously people, it's been four years. GET OVER IT ALREADY!

"Okay now I have the whole day planned." Shooting Star stated after they finally stopped laughing. "It's seven now, and the party starts at eight, that gives us plenty of time to get ready."

"Well than we better get started with breakfast." Sixer said giving me a stern look. Yeah that's right I make the food in this house.

Why?

Because Sixer says it'll teach me responsibility, which is something I clearly lack! But I just think he hates me and wants to torture me, which I suppose is fair. The funny thing is I don't even mind it, since I still have all my magic, cooking and cleaning can be done with a snap. So, I really don't see the lesson here, but none the less I set to work on breakfast; making sure to make Pine Tree's just the way he likes it. I also purposely burnt Sixer's toast; I know it's childish; but honestly this is the only kind of victory I get now days.

It's sad I know!

Sixer gives me a sinister glare, but before the war can begin Pine Tree steps in. "So where are the presents uncle Ford?"

"Yeah?" Shooting Star said, eyeing the empty present table. "I don't see anything."

"Oh, that reminds me." Shrine Hat gets up from the table and walks off to the pantry, where he pulls out two presents.

'The Cell Phones!' I growl at the thought, but soon calm down, after all I have a plan!

"Sweet!" Shooting Star exclaims.

"Bill?" Shrine Hat looks at me expectantly.

Sixer gives me a death glare, as if to say I better not add anything to the table.

I smile and snap my fingers, making two small presents appear. "That's half." I stated.

"Half?" Shooting Star asked.

"Yep the other half is impossible to wrap." I said leaving them to wonder. Sixer of course continues to glare at me.

I swear no one holds a grudge like that guy!

"By the way have any of you seen my cellphone?" Shrine Hat suddenly asked. The doorbell rings,

'Saved by the bell!' I joked to myself. "I'll get it!" I exclaimed, trying not to give myself away.

I open the door to see Shooting Star's friends. Pepper, and Gretchen, or were their names Carmel and Ginger? I'm not really sure, in all honesty, I don't care. After all Pine Tree is my human, and no one else matters.

"Hello Bill" Pepper, or Carmel or whatever her name is, greets me with an almost believable smile. Yeah the whole town knows about my return, but the Pines assured them that I was completely under their control. Which was both the truth, and a lie. You see the curse makes it to where I can't disobey a direct order coming from my host family, but I still have free will.

"Good morning." I say trying to sound chipper and happy to see them, but I'm really not. "Please come in." I said, inviting the girls in, even though I wanted to slam the door in their face. Shooting Star's friends or not, their girls and their both pretty.

And we all know how Pine Tree feels about pretty girls! "Grenda, Candy your here!" Shooting Star exclaims.

Grenda, and Candy put their bags of gifts on the present table before hugging Shooting Star happily.

The room is engulfed with girly squeals which remind me of a Banshee's whale. "Girls and their squealing honestly I don't get it." Pine Tree shakes his head.

"You and me both kid." I say giving Pine Tree a smile.

We share a moment of just looking at each other.

It's a rare moment of peace for us, usually Pine Tree is uneasy around me, and I don't really blame him. After all I am a demon, you're supposed to feel uneasy about me, cause that means I'm doing my job.

Of course, the moment doesn't last, no the stupid doorbell ruins it!

"I'll get it." I say, feeling somewhat like a broken record.

I open the door to Red and her merry band of misfits along with question Mark and his wife, who is holding their two-year-old daughter, Rose.

"What up Bill!" Red offer's me a high five.

I of course don't even think about leaving her hanging.

Now I know what you're thinking. 'Don't you hate Red because Pine Tree had a crush on her?'

Actually no! You see Red is engaged to an old ex of her's named Josh and are planning to wed after graduation.

That's right, Red is no longer a threat, it's the single ones I'm worried about.

Speaking of, at that very moment threat number one came walking in behind Red and her crowd.

Llama!

I narrowed my eyes at her in obvious rage. The spoiled Northwest brat had long ago become one of Shooting Star's "besties" and to say that she had grown up in all the right places was certainly an understatement as far as I'm concerned.

"Hi Bill!" She tries to be nice to me, but I always give her the boot. Or at least I usually do, but today is my sapling's Birthday, so I put on my best act.

"Good morning Llama, Come in please!" I say as happily as possible.

Several more people follow behind her, including the stupid dummy Gideon.

Of course, he too somehow managed to win back Shooting Star's friendship after she learned how he sacrificed his freedom for her during Weirdmageddon.

Finally, I'm able to shut the door, and I do so with a loud bam! Everyone jumps, I laugh evilly.

Sixer gives me a warning look, before he begins. "Alright everyone gather around, and we'll start by opening presents." He said.

The gifts table is now a mountain of wrapped presents, and gift bags.

"Wait we're going first." Shrine Hat exclaims, pushing through the crowded kitchen. Once he gets to the table he takes two presents and gives one to each twin.

It's the moment I've been dreading, I watch as my Sapling and Shooting Star wripe open the boxes.

"Oh my god it's A cell phone!" Shooting Star screamed.

"No way!" Pine Tree was beaming, much to my displeasure. "Do you mean it? Are you really letting us have one?"

"Yes." Ford nodded.

"But only if you use it responsibly." Shrine Hat added, obviously remembering my warnings from the day before.

"We will." they promised in unison.

Several minutes passed as the twins opened more gifts. Finally, it was my turn. I handed the presents to the twins, trying to contain my excitement.

Now I know what you're thinking. 'You got them deer teeth and screaming heads.'

WRONG!

Sorry but that joke gets old after a while, besides this stupid curse makes me actually care about making the twins happy.

I know what a joke, right?!

Shooting Star takes the gift happily and hurries to open it up, but Pine Tree waits to watch as if to check and see it isn't some prank.

"Wow it's a necklace full of...dust?" Shooting Star said looking confused.

"It's Fairy Dust." I corrected her. "Very powerful, and only for emergencies." I take the necklace from her and hook it around her neck. "You know just in case you get in a tight spot, and heaven forbid I'm not around. Plus, it makes a good piece of jewelry." Which was true after all, the bottle carrying the dust was no mere plastic; it was made of a rare crystal, and the chain was made of pure gold.

Shooting Star smiles. "Thank you Bill."

But I'm too busy watching Pine Tree to acknowledge her appreciation.

Pine Tree opens the present slowly, as if still unsure. Finally, he opens the box to reveal.

"An infinity Rubik cube!" Sixer gasped obviously extremely impressed.

"Yep one of the only three in existence!" I say boastfully.

"Wherever did you find it?" Sixer asked.

"Oh, you know the Library of Knowledge; it was just sitting there all dusty so I thought hey Pine Tree will get a kick out of that."

"Wow thanks Bill!" Pine Tree looked amazed by the gift, but also confused. "But how does it work."

"Oh, the colors change every two minutes by themselves." I explained. "So basically, you have two minutes to solve the cube before it changes causing you to start all over again."

Pine Tree quickly sets to work on trying to solve it, and I watch happily as he becomes more and more frustrated with every passing second.

I just love watching him get flustered.

He groans as his two minutes fly by and the cube changes. I don't even try to hide my enjoyment.

"So, what's part two?" Shooting Star asked.

"What?" I ask, barley listening.

"Part two of our gift, you said there's two parts." Shooting Star said.

"Oh right!" I said getting really excited, and everyone knew right away that I was up to no good. "I have prepared a song!"

"Oh boy!" Shrine Hat said sarcastically.

"Bill!" Sixer warned.

"Oh, come on let him sing." Shooting Star said. "After all it is our birthday gift."

"Fine but I'm warning you Bill!" Sixer said sternly.

I snap my fingers and a banjo appears, I begin to strum it and start to sing. "Once a year we celebrate with stupid hats and plastic plates the fact that you were able to make another trip around the sun! And the whole clan gathers round and gifts, and laughter do abound, and we let out a joyful sound; and sing that stupid song." I float up to Pine Tree as I continue to sing. "Happy birthday, now you're one year older. Happy birthday, your life still isn't over!"

Sixer began to shake his head, obviously regretting the fact that he cursed me to be bounded to their family in the first place. Which he should.

I simply float up to Shooting Star, as I continued to sing. "Happy birthday, you did not accomplish much, but you didn't die this year I guess that's good enough!"

Shooting Star laughed obviously finding the humor in my song, Pine Tree on the other hand was turning red with embarrassment, which only encouraged me to keep going.

"So, let's drink to your fading health and hope you don't remind yourself the chance of finding fame and wealth decrease with every year! Cause it feel like you're doing laps, and eating food, and taking naps; hoping that someday perhaps your life will hold some cheer!"

"Bill!" Sixer yelled.

I simply continued to sing, Dancing to the music; lost in the moment. "Happy birthday, what have you done that matters? Happy birthday you're starting to get fatter! Happy birthday it's downhill from now on. Try not to remind yourself your best years are all gone!"

"That's it!" Sixer pulls out his neutralizer gun and starts firing.

I simply run around the room dodging the shots, determined to finish my song.

"If Cryogenics were all free then you could live like Walt Disney and live for all eternity inside a block of ice, but instead your time is set. This is the only life you get, and though it hasn't ended yet sometimes you wish it might!"

Pine Tree smiles as I dance out of the way of the firing missiles. Of course, his delight only fuels my urge to continue.

"Happy birthday, you wish you had more money. Happy birthday, your life's so sad it's funny!"

"When I get my hands on you!" Sixer screamed as he began to chase me.

"Bill please!" Pine Tree said through laughs.

I decide to give in after all I only had one line left anyway. "Fine! Happy birthday, how much more can you take? But your friends are hungry so just cut the stupid cake!" I snap my fingers and the cake appears before them.

I do a couple of bows, I'm surprised to see the twins clapping, and their delight is probably what saves me, because Sixer sits back down to cut the cake, glaring at me the whole time.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful in my opinion, we spent most of it at the town's public pool celebrating the twin's Birthday. I think it's called A Pool Party, or something like that, though I don't see the joy and sharing a bath with a bunch of strangers.

Finally, after a quick movie back at the shack, most of the guest left around nine, leaving Candy, Grenda, and Llama to sleep over with Shooting Star.

To my surprise, Pine Tree didn't join them. Instead, he sat on the roof trying to figure out the cube.

it made me happy to know he was interested in his gift from me, but I knew once he finally figured it out, that phone of his would become his main concern.

Luckily for me the kid was already distracted, and he was gullible enough to leave the thing out in the open. I picked up the phone guessing his pin in seconds which allowed me to avoid the ID password issue. Sure, it put a hole in one of my reasons why he shouldn't have a cell phone in the first place, but there were other perfectly good reasons why this was a bad idea.

Reasons that I was about to prove!

I searched for Pine Tree's cell number and found it with ease, adding it to Stan's phone which I reset for my own personal gain, with a new number for good measure.

Finally, I placed the kid's phone back where I found it and make my retreat only stopping to give him one final glance.

I chuckle quietly to myself as he begins to grumble under his breath. I sat there and watched him fiddle with that thing for what seemed to be hours. Waiting for him to figure it out!

I couldn't wait!

Because then the fun would really begin...


Chapter End Notes

BTW: The song Bill is singing in this chapter is called "Happy Birthday" by: The Arrogant Worms. Honestly, I can see Bill singing this to the Stan twins more so than Dipper and Mabel, but whatever.

You can't!

Anyway, Thanks for reading the next chapter will be up soon. Until then this is...

Emily signing off :)