Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore set off on the way to the strip club eager to look at some booty that they could never get in real life. Tigger turned on the radio blasting one of the worst rap songs ever recorded by a human being. After about 10 or so miles, with not a lot of traffic the gang finally arrived. The valet man that saw their car looked at the crew in disgust.

"The hooker convention is that way." He said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Um, no. We're not headed there this week. We're actually going to the strip club." replied Tigger.

"Good luck getting in." said the valet man, doubling over laughing at them as they drove off. Tigger ignored the laughter and looked for a parking spot. One just happened to open up behind the club, and Tigger parked the Volvo. The crew then got out of the car, excited for what was to come for them. Tigger decided unsuccessfully to try to flirt with a group of girls that were standing outside of the club.

"Hey ladies, how ya doin' tonight?" Tigger asked slyly.

"Fuck off, weirdo." replied one of the chicks, giving him a middle finger.

"Huh. Guess the new wardrobe isn't working." said Tigger, looking down at his Detroit Pistons Allen Iverson jersey and pair of jeans, complete with Detroit Tigers baseball hat and eyeglasses. Pooh and Eeyore straggled in behind, not saying anything.

"Let me do the talking." said Tigger, putting on his wannabe-Goldie Mack impersonation for the bouncer.

"I told you not to trust this wannabe rapper ass-clown." muttered Pooh.

"Shut up, just shut up." said Eeyore back.

"Excuse me sir." he said to the bouncer. "I have some strip club tickets for this establishment." The bouncer looked at the tickets to verify their authentication.

"Do you gentlemen have ID?" he asked. Pooh his out of his fur, and Eeyore pulled his out as well. The bouncer looked at their IDs, and let them into the club.

It was like no typical strip club. It was like a Chuck-E-Cheese for adults. There was a stage were several scantily-clad performers were, bumping and grinding on each other. One waitress walked past Tigger and rolled her eyes. The group then found an empty table that was just vacated by the group before it and proceeded to sit down.

"So, what do you think? Eh? Eh?" asked Tigger. He then turned around and looked at a stripper's wide booty. "My, my, my, my. She sure looks good tonight."

Eeyore and Pooh were busy taking in the environment before them. Pooh had never seen the inside of a strip club as nice as this before, except on television. Eeyore was in awe, nearly breaking his neck at all the beautiful women that walked by. Then, Pooh broke the silence.

"I'm hungry." said Pooh. "Do they got anything good to eat here?"

"Yes. Only the best food for the best of appetites." said Tigger. The group proceeded to look at the menus in front of them.

Roo's House

Roo drove up to his house, exhausted from the night's game. The team had gotten their asses whooped, and to top it all off, Tigger, Pooh, and Eeyore had to show their useless faces. Roo walked up to the door, opened it, then proceeded upstairs past his mother who was busy singing some holistic song. He then went back to his room, shaking his head, and proceeded to turn on the TV to watch the football game between Hawaii and California.

Roo was excited to graduate at the end of next year and get the hell away from his family, who had gotten more and more insane by the year. His father was putting pressure on him to go to Ohio State, yet his mom wanted him to go to Michigan (even though she herself went to Wayne State).

Back At The Strip Club

"So, guys, are you ready for some fun?" said Tigger.

"Can we grab them?" asked Eeyore.

"No, silly. We have to let them approach us." he replied. Ten minutes passed. Then another ten. The strippers walked straight past their table. Pooh gave Tigger a dead-eyed look.

"Do you have any money, you bum?" he asked.

"I have...hold on a minute..." said Tigger, rifling through his pockets. "Uh...let me go to the car real quick."

"Oh no..." said Pooh facepalming. As Tigger went back to his car. "This bum invited us to a strip club and he doesn't even have any money?"

"You know they say never trust a dumbass." replied Eeyore. He then tried to grab a blonde girl by the ass, and she slapped him hard across the face.

"Nice going, Goldie Mack." mutters Pooh.

"You see, this is reason #78,457 why I stay at home and watch porn." said Eeyore. "I don't get slapped by the performers."

The two stared each other down until one of the beautiful women wearing an all-lace outfit walked up to Tigger and started stroking his arm up and down.

"Hey pretty boy," she said coyly, looking him up and down. "Would you like a dance?"

"Sure. Don't mind if I do." replied Tigger. "How much are the dance prices?"

Pooh facepalms, muttering under his breath.

"$20 for a public dance, and $40 for a private dance." says the brunette.

"Hmm...is that right?" Tigger growls seductively.

A group of college-age kids sitting at the table next to theirs snickers at the group. Pooh discreetly flips off one of the kids.

Tigger fumbles around for his wallet. Pooh puts his hand on his chin, glaring at Tigger. This was not going well at all.

"Let me get back to you okay?" said Tigger.

The waitress rolls her eyes, and moves on to the next table. She then proceeds to climb into the lap of a blonde haired college kid wearing a Michigan State hoodie and baseball cap, slowly grinding on him and fondling his hair, as his buddies applaud.

"Great, now we have to see this chick grinding on a white guy who looks better than I do." mutters Eeyore. "Is this what I came for? To see that heathen grinding on some weird guy and not a gentleman like me?"

"Eeyore, chill, man. Now is not the time and place." says Pooh. "Let's see what they got here. Hopefully the food is good..."

To be continued...