When we last left our degenerates, Eeyore was slapped by a stripper. Pooh had to calm him down, and once they were settled in, they ordered some food. Pooh ordered the usual some chicken wings with french fries (with blue cheese on the side), and a Sprite. Eeyore ordered a double bacon cheeseburger with french fries, and Tigger ordered just fries, like the cheap joker that he is.
While the guys were making small talk amongst themselves, and unsuccessfully trying to flirt with the strippers that walked by their tables in order to entertain other patrons, everyone turned towards the door. A couple of the Detroit Pistons draft picks had entered the club with their posse, the first being the UCLA guard and his father that everyone was talking about and the second was a 7' center coming from Serbia.
"Hey is that-"
"Yeah, that's him. It's a shame that the Lakers didn't draft him, but I hope he enjoys Michigan's crappy weather for the next few years of his young life." said Eeyore.
"You know they didn't draft him because his dad is a loudmouth shit-talker, right?" said Pooh.
"They say father knows best." replied Eeyore.
"Actually the term is mother knows best." said Pooh back.
"I wasn't talking about his mom, I was talking about his dad. Like I said before, his dad knows something we don't. I wish I had a dad." said Eeyore. "Maybe I would have lost my virginity!"
Two of the tables turn and look at Eeyore awkwardly, with a couple of the college kids at the table on their right making snide comments.
"You wanted to lose your virginity to your dad?" said the blonde-haired Michigan State hat wearing college kid. "Man, you must really suck at life." he added, snickering.
"First of all, I wasn't talking to you dipshits." said Eeyore.
"It's okay, they're white trash. That kind of behavior is normal where they're from." said the Michigan State guy's friend.
"Who are you calling white trash with your blonde hair, and, and perfect skin-" Eeyore's voice began to trail off.
"Whoa, whoa, guy, are you trying to hit on me?" replied his friend.
"Eeyore, Eeyore. Calm your ass down." said Pooh, intervening before things were going to escalate. Eeyore turned away, giving the middle finger to the group.
Like most young NBA stars, the posse got the best seats, closest to the stage. No sooner did they sit down, that a sexy dark haired woman immediately climbed into the UCLA star's lap, doing a slow and sensual grind for him. The other patrons were hooting and hollering, some taking out their smartphones, eager to upload the videos to social media, and the star was lapping up all the attention.
Meanwhile, back at his house, Roo continued to sit bored as all hell at his house, watching the game wind down to its final minutes with California having all but sealed victory. He was about to turn off the TV and go to sleep until he got a text from his friend.
"Strip club tonite. U down?" asked Calvin Johnson's nephew, the team's star running back.
"Where at?" Roo asked.
"Downtown. The one that just opened up." he replied.
"I'm bored as hell. Down for anything." said Roo.
Roo then turned off the TV, and opened the door and was surprised to see the house completely dark. Apparently his mother fell asleep early after performing one of her many nutty rituals. Roo threw some clothes on, took the keys to his mother's SUV, and drove off to meet his friend, who lived ten minutes away.
Meanwhile, at the strip club, things were getting no better for the gang of three. Eeyore had gotten slapped by ANOTHER stripper, this one a young woman with black hair. Eeyore got pissed and threatened to fight her before security intervened. It took a lot of negotiation, but Eeyore was allowed to stay. A security guard remained close, however.
Pooh was having a good time, simply because of the food, but even he started to resent the dancers for walking by and providing their services to the other patrons around them, without even bothering to ask them if they even wanted a glass of water. He was especially pissed off at Tigger, because he felt that he had been duped for what seemed like the millionth time.
He never really trusted Tigger to begin with, with his history of sketchy behavior, but he trusted Tigger this one time, especially when it came to beautiful women. He thought that Tigger would actually come through. Speaking of Tigger...
Tigger had to step out and go to the ATM, where he found a decently dressed prostitute that just happened to be outside the club. She had the hots for him, one thing led to another, or at least it was GOING to, before Tigger finished early. The prostitute put her clothes on and got out of the car, fuming and muttering under her breath. Tigger had to fumble around for a spare napkin that was nestled among the mess in his car to clean himself up.
Tigger then got out of his car and walked back in the club (How he even got IN in the first place is anyone's guess). What he didn't know is that Roo (who was incognito, wearing a pair of shades and a Lions hat) was trying to make his way into the club, along with one buddy named Travis, one of the few white running backs in the area, and Calvin Johnson's nephew.
They used fake IDs to get in the club and went to look for seats. They found a table that was close to the main stage, but little did they know, it was close by Tigger, Pooh, and Eeyore. Roo kept his shades on, hoping to be incognito. Eeyore then pointed out to Pooh that he thought he saw Roo, but Pooh was not paying attention to him at all. Another stripper walked past, and Eeyore turned his neck but the burly security guard warned him not to get any closer.
Tigger eventually emerged and was making his way back to the seat when he saw someone similar.
"Hey!" he called out over the eardrum-splitting music. One of the guys turned around, and both locked eyes.
What happens next?
To be continued...
