She returned to Jack's house, remembering that she had left her laptop there. She would need it for the task ahead. She knew that she was taking a BIG risk in even thinking that this was the right course of action to take, but she knew that this was the ONLY course of action either of them could take. They were both too valuable to the program for either of them to actually leave the SGC, and while they both remained in the military, they would continue to brush aside the feelings that they desperately needed to discuss.
She bit her lip and wrote her letter:
Dear General Hammond,
It has been a great pleasure through my years here at the SGC to serve with the nation, no, the world's finest intellectual and military minds. My experiences here have been out of this world, pardon the pun, and will remain dear to my heart for all of my life. However, I am sure that you are aware that I have been dealing with a great many conflicts of interest. There are more than a couple parts of my personality that are desperately wanting to be placed at the forefront. For example, I am consistently wondering if I should go the way of military protocol, or do what I would as a scientist and challenge the rules set forth by the Pentagon.
Therefore, it is my regret to inform you that I must resign my Air Force commission. While I do not wish to leave the SGC, I feel that for me to continue to live in this world of contradiction would ultimately lead to my failure as an individual. So, if you wish to keep me at the SGC, I would have no objection. However, I must warn you that to do so, I would need to remain a civilian scientist, whose number one goal is to reach new levels of understanding in regards to physics and the world around us.
I thank you for being the leader of such a wonderful facility, and more than that, providing each person under your command with opportunities to reach their full potential, be they military officers or civilian researchers. It is when men like you lead these projects that the worlds of scietific research and military protocol can be intertwined, leading both groups to heightened success.
Again, I express my apologies for tendering my resignation with so little warning. But I believe it to be the best course of action at this time. Not only for myself, but for members of my team, and ultimately, for the rest of the world.
Very sincerely,
Samantha Carter
She looked back over the letter, sighing as she did so. Jack wouldn't be very happy with her. Neither would the President, Janet, General Hammond, her dad, Daniel, Teal'c...she had just given them the option of taking her off of SG-1. But she had also given them the opportunity to keep her there. Or send her to work in the labs with Felger.
She gave a tiny shudder at the thought. She would lose her eyebrows within ten minutes of working with him, and her mind within a year.
She closed her eyes and bit her lip. It was the best opportunity for anything she truly wanted in life. And ultimately, her friends and family would support her. Whether Jack forgave her or not.
She packed up her laptop and returned to her car. She checked to make sure she had her base access ID with her, and drove to Cheyenne Mountain, her heart both heavier and lighter than it had been before.
--
"General Hammond?" She asked, tapping lightly on the door, a tiny white envelope in her hand alongside a few manila folders.
"Major Carter. Come in. How's the Colonel?"
"I don't know, sir. I haven't been to see him yet."
The General gave her a questioning glance before shrugging. "So...what can I do for you?"
"I have the paperwork you requested." She said, handing him the folders, the envelope tucked inside.
"Major, you didn't have to work on that. This is your downtime."
"I understand, sir, but I needed to think."
"This isn't just about the reports, is it, Major?"
"No, sir. You'll find my resignation in there."
"Resignation?"
"You'll find a more detailed analysis of my decision, but suffice it to say that I can't remain a member of the United States Air Force. It is a conflict with a bigger interest in my life."
"Such as?"
"Please don't make me answer that." She whispered.
"I see." The General said, watching the young woman. Jacob Carter's daughter was leaving the Air Force for her commanding officer...unofficially, of course. If someone had told him that twenty years ago, he would have laughed in their face. Hell, if someone had told him that at the beginning of his command, he would have had them committed to a mental institution. "Well, I wish you the best in your endeavors."
"Sir, if I may, I'm not requesting to leave the SGC. Merely resigning my Air Force commission."
"You're tired of doing double-duty."
"In a sense, sir." She said, eying him steadfastly.
"I'll have to speak with my superiors."
"I understand, sir."
"At any rate, it will take two weeks for this letter to take effect. Just like any other civilian letter of resignation."
She nodded. "Yes, sir."
"All right. I'll let you know when I hear anything from Washington."
"Thank you, sir."
"Dismissed." He said, giving her a fatherly smile. "And Major, make sure this is really what you want."
"It is, sir." She said, grinning.
--
"Jack, she said she needed some time alone!" Daniel explained, exasperated.
"And I'm telling you, Dannyboy, you shouldn't have told her that I knew!"
"She already knew that you did! What difference does it make?"
"What difference does it make?!" Jack asked, angrily. "Oh, I don't know...the difference between life and death!"
"Life and death, huh?" She asked, giving him a tiny grin.
"Carter!" Jack exclaimed, surprised. "Uh...what're you doing here?"
"We need to talk." She said, eying Daniel and Teal'c standing over the injured colonel.
"And I needed to get a cup of coffee." Daniel said, turning to leave.
"And I have an appointment to kel'noreem." Teal'c said, bowing before taking his own leave.
"The guy doesn't even have Junior anymore...what the hell does he want to kel'noreem for?!" Jack asked, knowing precisely why the guys left, and stalling before Sam went for the kill. She would get angry at him for not telling her who he was and all that, and he already had the headache from Netu, and he REALLY didn't want to feel like a loser on top of all that.
"Well, it was a part of his life for nearly a hundred years." She said, sitting down. "But that's not what I came to talk to you about."
"Oh really? What'd you come to talk about?" He asked, feigning ignorance.
"Don't play stupid, Jack, you know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Okay."
"I resigned my Air Force commission." She stated, unable to withstand the nervousness within her for much longer.
"You what?" He asked, his head snapping up.
"I gave General Hammond my letter of resignation. He said it would take effect in two weeks."
"You're leaving the SGC?"
"Maybe."
"What the hell do you mean 'maybe?' You've given your two weeks notice!"
"No, Jack, I resigned my Air Force commission. There's a difference."
"Yeah...BIG difference!" He said, sarcastically.
"Yes, actually, it is. It means that I might be able to stay here. As a civilian scientist. It means that I may actually be able to stay on an SG team. Like Daniel..."
"Really?" He asked, shocked.
"Yeah. And since I know you're A LOT smarter than you pretend to be, I'm surprised it hadn't crossed your mind."
"Sam, I..."
"Don't." She admonished, gently.
He turned his classically confused look to her. As he did so, she chuckled before sobering. "I know why you didn't say anything."
"Carter, I just...you do?" He asked, shocked.
She nodded. "If the timing had been different..."
"So, you're not upset?"
"I'm not happy that you kept it from me, but I understand your reasons for doing so." She said, slowly taking his hand in hers. He looked at it, surprised before she continued. "First of all, I'd made it clear almost immediately how long I'd looked forward to going on that first mission, and you knew that if you revealed our relationship, I would be robbed once again of my rightful place on the expedition. Secondy, you were still grieving the loss of both Charlie and Sara., and it wasn't a good time for you to pursue a long-lost relationship. And thirdly, you just didn't know if I was still pining for you or if I'd cried my tears and gotten over you."
"Wow." He exclaimed, softly. "That's exactly what I was thinking..."
"Once I put the two halves of you together, it was easy to read you." She said, gently caressing his hand in hers. "I didn't have to second-guess anymore...I didn't WANT to second guess anymore..."
"Well..." He said, suddenly feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the place of their sentimental conversation. "Don't tell anyone about my "softer" side...it'll ruin my image."
She laughed as she looked up, showing him the moisture in her eyes. "Your secret's safe with me."
"So...where do we go from here?" He asked, the question accenting the heavier side of the atmosphere.
"Pete's gone." She said, hoping he would see the hidden answer in her response.
"He is?"
"Yes. Just like Jonas Hansen, Narim, Martouf and Lantesh, Orlin...they're all gone."
"Why?"
"Because I never stopped loving my Phantom. I just fell in love with the newer model..." She chuckled.
He grinned. "I still got it, baby!"
She laughed out loud. "And there's NOTHING modest about you..."
He gave her a mock pout. "What? You can't be dark and mysterious for long...but when you have endearing qualities like me..."
She snorted. "Sarcasm, irreverence..."
"Exactly." He said, proudly. "You can't help but have ladies falling at your feet!"
Janet walked in just then. "All right, Mr. Ladies Man, I have your medication for you..."
"DOC!"
"What?" Janet asked, sweetly. "I didn't hear a thing..."
"Good." Jack breathed.
"Baby." She finished, cheekily.
"DOC!"
Janet gave the Air Force colonel the cup with his pills in it. "Swallow these and I'll leave...happily."
"Promise?" He growled.
"Promise." She said, raising her right hand to the square.
"'Kay." He said, taking the small paper cup and throwing his head back as he swallowed the pills.
"Water." Janet said, handing him another cup.
Jack swallwed the water and smacked his lips. "Thanks, Doc, it's been a pleasure as always..."
Janet discreetly noticed Sam's hand in Jack's and smiled. "I'll leave you two alone, then."
Sam chuckled. "Well, we'll have to be quiet about whatever we choose to do for the next two weeks..."
"I can keep a secret." Jack said, his eyes suddenly full of the passionate romance that Jonathan had been so eloquently capable of so many years before. Her knees went weak as her head swam and her heart started beating faster and faster. She'd never forgotten the effect of that look, but the intensity, however, had been somewhat faded over the years.
"I am going to be in SO much trouble." She whispered before she launched herself toward Jack, giving him a passionate reminder of the last performance of "The Phantom of the Opera."
Meanwhile, Teal'c, who had stationed himself as a discreet guard in the infirmary merely pulled the curtains around O'Neill's bed to hide the couple. When he returned to his position, he had the tiniest grin on his lips.
Only a few minutes later, Daniel returned. "Hey, Teal'c, what's going on in there?"
"Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter are merely discussing their issues..." He said, grinning.
"Really? That's great...but why the closed curtain?"
"Because their communication has become...nonverbal."
Daniel's confusion was evident for a moment before his eyes widened and a look of disgust passed his face. "Aw, Teal'c, was that REALLY necessary?!"
The Jaffa merely grinned. "Indeeed."
