Ex Intempestivo Pax
Chapter 3
Love and Truth
Would you like to know the truth, whatever the cost?
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.
"Uuuaaahhh!" Lily Evans yawned as she sat up, blinking, having just been woken up by the creaking door; looking around, she saw James Potter, her fiance, hunting through the closet outsider her room minus shirt, mumbling to himself.
Sighing, Lily said testily, "James, you know that I like to sleep in on Friday; unlike you, its my day o-uaaaah-off." Yawning out the last bit, Lily squinted through bleary eyes and saw James pulling something out of the closet, then he put on a dark blue shirt, before looking over at Lily and smirking, saying teasingly,
"Sorry, Lil', I didn't mean to do it! Still, isn't it nice to wake up all bright eyed and bushy tailed?"
Glaring at him, Lily hurled a pillow, which came within an inch of knocking his glasses off as it whizzed through his eternally messy hair, messing it up even more. Chuckling, her husband-to-be then said brightly, smirking still, eyes alight with mirth, "Besides, this gives us a chance to have breakfast together for once! Now, go make us some eggs, little lady!"
Growling, Lily got up and padded over to the kitchen, muttering under her breath; she couldn't say that she didn't like the idea of having breakfast with James, for once, but she hated how, whenever both of them were available to cook a meal, he always had her do it. Growing up, she had never much cared for cooking, and she still didn't enjoy it very much.
Nonetheless, she soon had fried up the two of them some eggs and bacon, and poured them a couple glasses of orange juice while James finished dressing himself, throwing on a set of Auror robes. Glancing at the food and sighing happily, James quickly dug into them and said, chuckling, "These are really good, Lily. Well-cooked!"
Rolling her eyes as she ate the somewhat-burnt bacon, Lily said, hoping to change the subject from cooking, "So, James, how are things going over in the Ministry? Any leads on any of you-know-who's Death Eaters? I heard from Molly Weasley that they've been really busy lately, at least according to her husband..."
James' smile slipped into a frown, and he said with a grimace, recalling all the paperwork that he had done over the week past, "Unfortunately, not only is Molly right, but we haven't managed to catch even one of them; it's driving Barty mad!" He then remembered something and said casually, "By the way, I just wanted to let you know that I'm probably going to be home pretty late tonight, working late with Sirius, you know?"
As Lily's face fell slightly, James felt a slight pang of guilt, as he was actually planning on spending the night at this bar down in Diagon Alley with the rest of the Marauders, but he had lied as he knew that Lily had permanently vetoed that particular bar after one of the serving women, part-veela, had given him name and address, in front of Lily, while he and Lily were kissing each other. James had no interest in the woman of course, although Sirius had a massive crush on her, but Lily had told him never to go back to that bar again.
Eyes downcast, Lily then said quietly, "Alright then, I guess that I'll get a head start on my work then tonight, and maybe we can do something together tomorrow instead..." Lily said the last part while glancing back at him with a small, sad smile.
Feeling even more guilty as he remembered how they had planned to spend the night together, watching a Muggle movie, James vowed to take Lily someplace really fancy when they went out tomorrow. He then said with a smirk, "That sounds perfect, Lil', it'll be very romantic, trust me."
Smiling again, although it still seemed a little bit forced, Lily hugged him, then gave him a peck on the cheek, saying cheekily, "It had better be, Mr. Potter! The Ministry might be covering your sorry behind today, but tomorrow, you're mine!"
Suddenly, through an open window, a snowy owl flew in, ungracefully flying just past James' orange juice, leaving a single feather exactly in the center of James' orange juice. Frowning, James looked up and saw the owl carrying a large package, perhaps a few feet tall and a couple feet wide. Hooting in James' direction, the owl lazily dropped it at the edge of the elm kitchen table, almost hanging slightly over the edge, then raised its eyebrows disdainfully at him for a moment, before flying on top of the refrigerator, almost seeming to laugh at him.
Meanwhile, as James was trying to decide who that owl reminded him of, Lily picked up the letter that the owl had left on top of the package; reading her name as the addressee, she instantly recognized the handwriting as coming from Severus and smiled slightly. She then heard James say, "Hey, are you going to open that letter, or just stare at it all day?"
Realizing that she had been staring at the envelope for nearly a minute straight, Lily tore her eyes away from it, before saying with a smile, glancing guiltily over at James as she did so, "Its alright, it's just from someone I wasn't expecting to write me that's all."
Still keeping a close watch on the snowy owl out of the corner of his eyes, James wondered who it was from and was about to ask, when he suddenly remembered that he was almost late for work as it was. Giving Lily a chaste kiss on the lips, James then Apparated to the Ministry, arriving right on time, with not a second to spare almost appearing on top of Sirius.
Right as James was saying hello to Sirius at the Ministry, Lily slowly opened the envelope and read the letter, her face going through several emotions as she did so; first she smiled brightly, then she stopped smiling and glared at the letter, then she cocked her head quizzically as she looked at it, and finally she frowned, before looking over at the package.
Lily decided to re-read the letter, wanting to make sure that she wasn't mistaken about what Severus had written, but first she took care of the owl, feeding him an owl treat while petting his glistening plumage; Lily had to fight a smile as, just like Severus when he was complimented, the owl looked rather embarrassed by the attention. Finally, she told the owl to head back to Severus, as she would be a bit in replying.
After Severus' owl flew away, Lily smiled slightly, admiring his choice of owl, then returned to the letter with a frown; it read:
Dear Lily,
I am...glad that you have owled me after so long, but I want to ask for something that is far more than acquaintances: I wish for us to be best friends again, like we were up until the...incident. I have made some decisions...that I admit were long overdue.
As it turns out, you were wrong about me then, and yet you were right as well. I did end up joining the Death Eaters, much as you predicted, but I also ended up leaving them after I discovered what they truly were like, and I am currently in the process of joining the Order of The Phoenix...
I...I don't want to deceive you; I didn't just leave the Death Eaters because I felt it was the right thing to do. In fact, it wasn't even the main reason; my main reason was because I felt that a life spent without the girl who I always called my best friend wasn't living. I admit, I was...afraid to die should I have left sooner, as the Dark Lord kills traitors even slower and more viciously than Muggleborns. However, I feel that it was a price worth paying, if I can merely spend time with you again...
I know that you sent me a Wedding invitation, and, if it should occur, I might even attend it. I would even...congratulate you, even considering that it is the man I shall hate eternally, James Potter, if I felt that he truly deserved you, and that you and he would truly be happy together.
However, I don't feel that he deserves you, and I intend to prove it to you; I believe that, while you might have seen the best of him, easily understandable considering that is what he always tries his best to show you, you have not seen the worst of him, and that bothers me very much. On the other hand, you have always claimed that he does have his good side, which he has never shown me before. I am admittedly scoffing at the very possibility that he has a good side, much as I am sure you remember, but I would like to have the chance to prove you wrong, and offer you the same.
I won't deny that part of the reason for my dislike of him might conceivably be based on selfish motives, as you were the first and only person I have cared for or loved in any real way, and I am and have always been afraid that he will take you away from me, but I also do this for unselfish reasons.
I truly do not believe that Potter has shown you his darkest self, and his worst flaws; I also truly believe that if you knew them, you would not choose him to be your husband. Most of all though, I do not believe that he can make you happy. There is the possibility, however miniscule, that I am wrong, and that would make me...somewhat happy, but there is also the possibility that I am right.
I would like the chance to both test this and repair our friendship; could we meet at where we first met to do so? If you agree to both of these, bring the pensieve in the package that I sent you when you come; on the other hand, if you do not want to find out, deciding to trust into faith and closing your eyes and ears to the possibility that you are wrong, merely come without the pensieve, and we shall never speak of it again.
I'll admit...you might not wish to come, not even to become friends again, and that you might even decide that you don't want to see if I am right or not, but then again, you never were a coward; as such, I have faith that you will be brave and make the correct choice in your choice of husband.
I...also want you to know something else, Lily; regardless of which choice you make, know that...I will always love you.
They say that we underwent a 'parting of the ways', but I believe that, even though we might have lost each other on the 'road of life', that we can still find one another again, if we merely desire to do so...Do not make your decision based on mistakes made long ago...
Yours Always,
Severus Snape
Lily frowned, thinking to herself furiously; on the one hand, she did admit that she probably didn't know the dark side of her fiance quite as well as Severus did, but on the other hand, he would likely choose memories that were quite one-sided in his attempt to prove her wrong. Still, the chance to prove Severus Snape, the man with a thousand sarcastic comebacks, wrong was something that only came along once in a lifetime...
Gritting her teeth, she opened the package with her wand, wherein a pensieve that Severus must have lightened for the flight stood; staring at it, Lily decided that, if she were to go to the playground and talk with him, she would bring it with her, as she always hated when Severus had called her a chicken.
As for the question of whether or not she wanted her best friend again...she had sent that letter to him partially because she didn't know if he had become a Death Eater or not.
If he hadn't, then she had intended to apologize to him profusely, and ask for his forgiveness, as, even though she hated to admit it, there had been the possibility that she had been completely, utterly stupid when she had declared their friendship to be over. In his letter just now, he had admitted that he had become a Death Eater, but he had also agreed to change sides, mainly because he had wanted to be her friend again, admittedly, but he had said that he was changing sides nonetheless.
In the end, coming to her own conclusion, as always, Lily decided that it was at least worth hearing him out. Smirking slightly, she considered the irony of the fact that finally, after their friendship had been over for a couple of years, that Severus had finally admitted he cared for and loved her, something that she had wanted him to do verbally ever since they had turned eleven...
Laughing a little, Lily started to write her reply...
Author's Note: First of all, as to how James felt that it was OK to Lily, even though she is his fiancee, my OPINION is that a man who is capable of deceiving the girl he likes for at least a year and change about bullying her ex-best friend, as well as the fact that, regardless of whether or not he was involved in the planning of the Shrieking Shack prank, he certainly didn't tell her the whole story, is certainly capable of lying on much lesser cases.
Don't get me wrong, this James does certainly love Lily, and he will NOT be cheating on her at any point in this fic, but he is capable of lying to her if he thinks that things will be better off if he does.
Second, Severus' letter; it may seem out of character for him to be even remotely close to that reasonable about James, or this open, the reason is that he is trying to persuade her, and as such, he might be a bit understandably OOC. Also, while he is telling the truth for the LONG RUN, he is almost certainly editing out the half hour or more of cajoling it would take before he would admit James capable of anything good.
As for Lily's letter to Severus, remember that, until the end of book four, none of the Marauders knew for sure whether or not Severus was a Death Eater, although they suspected it; I would say that it is very possible that Lily, having doubts about being right, might offer to mend their bridges to some extent, assuming that she was wrong. In canon, this would lead to nothing, but in this instance, with Severus going for broke, the offer would be good.
Lastly, Lily is referring to non-romantic love when she refers to wanting Severus to admit it verbally since she was eleven. Regardless of who it is, I view Severus as the sort of person to be very stingy with VERBAL demonstrations of love of any form, afraid to admit it to anyone, but very, VERY willing to demonstrate it through his actions.
As for what will happen to Severus and Lily's friendship...you'll have to wait and see...
