So I'm not editing this chapter at all cause I've just taken my contacts off and I'm having enough trouble just writing this part without my eyes going wonky. but I wanted to put the chapter up tonight anyway, hopefully it's fine, otherwise I'll fine tune it later on. Either way, enjoy.
Lily went downstairs the next morning to find Sirius in the living room playing air drums and mouthing the words to the song that was broadcasting over the old wireless James' mother had given them Of course, being Sirius, he wasn't at all embarrassed to get caught. His energy was infectious and for several long minutes she found that she was able to put everything else from her mind as she joined him on base. It wasn't until James appeared in the doorway in nothing but boxers, looking all together edible with his mussed hair and dark eyes, and very confused at the loud music and laughter issuing from the room that they collapsed on the couch in a heap and the music went down. Sirius took a moment to catch his breath and then he leapt back to his feet, his meter at full again.
James seemed to decide that he didn't want to know what they had been doing and waited to hear what Sirius was there for instead, leaning comfortably against the door frame, arms crossed.
"So how would you like a job for the day Prongs?" Sirius asked in a low voice, making the offer sound mysterious and tempting. "Dedalus was supposed to be working with us but he was needed elsewhere, but I knew you had nothing better to do."
Lily couldn't help but register the look of longing on her husbands face before he caught her eye and his expression went neutral. "I can't leave Lily here alone."
This seemed to be the flaw in the plan. No matter what she said, she knew that he wouldn't leave her there alone, it wasn't about what she might do either, it was about the prophecy.
"She could go to headquarters or something" Sirius was suggesting.
Lily stood and crossed to look out the window and down the road to the outskirts of town, to where she had nearly lost her life to one of her best friends and then in the other direction.
"I could go spend a few hours with your mom" she said. She would have loved to have some time on her own but she knew it wouldn't happen, she hadn't had more than an hour to herself since the day that she had taken off. Every time James went out he had someone come over to visit with her or else she would spend the night at headquarters. There was no point arguing, he wasn't doing it to suffocate her, he was doing it to protect her and as annoying as it was she couldn't help appreciate how important it was to him.
The look of anticipation had returned to his face as Sirius gave him the details of the so called job. She half listened as he described tailing and possibly capturing someone who's name she hadn't caught. Sirius, Lupin, Frank, and James.
"You go first" James demanded protectively as she stepped out into the yard behind them. She embraced Sirius and then James for longer. "Be careful, keep each other safe" she demanded, eyeing them both. Then with a crack she was gone, squeezing through and apparating in the road in front of James' mother's house.
****
Lily leaned back in the comfortable old couch, her hands gently turning the pages of the old photo album, James' mother watching her fondly as she gazed down at the photos of the dark haired little boy. A young James moved about in every small frame, waving up at her with his familiar, confident smile. James as an infant as he learned to crawl and then walk, learning to ride his first broomstick, learning to play Quidditch, the marauders at a young age, no more than eleven or twelve, a quidditch match, a christmas party. Lily took her time looking at each photo and wondering about her own child. Would her own baby have the same dark, messy hair as this one, would her child play Quidditch, have it's father's sense of humor, be a good student?
"Tea?"
She looked up to find the Potter's house elf, Azul, standing before her, offering a steaming mug that smelled of lemon and herbs. "Thank you" she said. The elf nodded, bowed and left the room.
"How long has she been with you?" she asked Mrs. Potter conversationally, sipping at the hot drink.
"Oh forever. And her mother before her. But Azul was here to help me when James was born and his father before him. She's a lovely old thing. She could help you too you know." The older woman added kindly, leaning forward and patting her daughter in law on the knew. Lily didn't know if it was a muggle thing but she knew it would be too strange for her to have a house elf, to sit back and watch another creature work. And she certainly wasn't planning on having her child at home.
"I think I'll be giving birth at St. Mungo's. Thank you though."
Mrs. Potter shrugged and offered a polite smile.
Lily couldn't help but like her and she was glad that she would have someone around to help her with the baby if she needed it, someone with experience of raising a child.
She turned another page of the album. The teenage James suddenly morphed into a handsome young man in dress robes on his wedding day. He stood with Lily and Sirius, he danced, he drank, he laughed with his guests. No indication of the eventful night before them.
The last photo was more recent. James stood behind her with his arms around her. They were both visibly happy, laughing at something that she couldn't recall. The photo made her smile wistfully. Then she felt a stab of fear in her gut but it was gone as soon as it came and she couldn't even be sure that she had felt it at all.
It was almost another hour before the sound of two people apparating in the lane brought them to their feet. Lily followed her mother in law to the door, eager to see James and Sirius again, to assure herself that they had done their job successfully, that they were alright. Darkness had long since settled and she could barely make out the two figures as she watched them through the gate as they approached. She stood back to let them enter and it wasn't until they had stepped through the door and lowered their hoods, their faces illuminated by a single lamp that she saw that it wasn't James and Sirius at all.
The door closed behind Frank and Remus and they made their way into the kitchen where there was more room to maneuver and talk comfortably. The two men were serious and quiet, moving through the house as if in mourning, their footsteps silent on the wood floors. With more light Lilycould make out the long, horrid scar that decorated Remus' face and dripped blood onto his collar and the patch of missing hair on the back of Frank's head that seemed to have been scorched off. The memory of her brief anxiety came back to her, mounting, choking her, She reached out and clutched Remus' arm. His soft sympathetic eyed meeting hers, her gaze demanding the truth.
"Where is James?" her voice shook as she spoke the three words that could change everything, end everything. Mrs. Potter gasped, catching on.
Frank was quick to jump in, reassuring. "He's hurt again. But he's fine." It sounded like a contradiction to her.
It was Remus who continued. " He's at St. Mungo's, he and Sirius were both injured, but neither is critical." she clutched his arm tighter. "I swear" he said with a grimace.
"What. Happened?"
"We were following this death eater and he seemed to realize he had a tail. But he didn't even know who we were or how many of us were there so he just started shooting curses over his shoulder randomly. It took us by surprise, he hit James and Sirius before we even had a chance to react. Then he disapparated and we lost him." Frank explained, apologetic. He reached out and helped James' mother to sit down. Azul came forward with another cup of tea for her mistress.
"Why is it always him?" Lily said in a low voice to Remus.
"I don't know. I'm sorry, but he's gonna be okay. "
Lily threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his comforting sent. She needed a minute to recover herself, to take a deep breath and renew her resolve, to convince herself once again that she was capable of getting through it. Remus held her, stroking her back and her hair, saying nothing until she raised her head and pulled away,
"Ready?"
She had never liked hospitals, muggle or magical and she had no particular reason for it as she had had very little experience with them. No one she knew to have died had ever been lucky enough to get to a hospital first but she found that they still reminded her of death, the sent of sickness and chemicals and disinfectant invading, over powering all else. And so much white.
The waiting room was full of people with magical cases that might have fascinated her on any other occasion. She didn't pay attention to what floor they were aiming for, she stood in the lift staring down at the swell of her body that kept James' child. How could this have happened again? Frank squeezed her shoulder gently.
She stuck close to the others along the corridor until Alice came into view at the end, already there, She offered words of comfort that Lily didn't hear and then she was pushing open the next door., she was entering the room alone, the others giving her time.
The room was gloomy and rather unpleasant though that might have only been her opinion of the place. It was not a particularly large room with two beds lined up against one wall and two more against the other. The two nearest the door were empty, all clean white sheets and fluffed pillows. The other two were occupied, the blankets rising and falling with their breathing. Sirius was fast asleep, or perhaps unconscious in one of the beds, his face white, looking altogether peaceful and James was in the other, in relatively the same condition, but his lips wereblue and one of his eyes was swollen and bruised purple. She gave her friend one long look and then crossed to James, ignoring the char that had been placed beside him and taking a seat on the covers instead. She ran one hand over her husbands soft silky face and bare shoulders and through his dark hair. He would be alright, they would both be. She stifled the annoyance she felt at how inconsiderate it was, how foolish it was that they had gotten themselves injured, that James had done this to her once again. He did everything to ensure her safety and then he nearly got himself killed. She played a finger over his lips.
"What's the world come too when I have no one hanging over my bed, checking to see if I'm alright?"
Lily jumped and looked around. Sirius was up on his elbows, gazing at her with a grim smile even as he joked.
"How do you feel?" she asked, concerned.
"Oh, I'm fine. I wasn't hit as bad as he was anyway. The healer was in before you showed up. Apparently Prongs had a couple broken ribs. One os them punctured a lung or something" he said, screwing up his face as he tried to remember. "He's just passed out now." He said it so casually that she couldn't help but believe him. Of course he was right. Dark magic couldn't be fixed, James still had the scar on his body from their honeymoon, but a few broken ribs and a punctured lung were no problem. Conditions that were emergencies to muggles could be reversed within seconds by an experienced healer.
"What about you?"
"Nothing too exciting. A few messed up limbs. I'll have some decent scars."
"You should lie down."
Sirius smiled and lowered himself from his elbows,sinking into the soft pillows. His soft snores broke the silence a moment later.
She didn't hear the door open or the footsteps on the tiles, but she didn't jump at the hand on her shoulder either. She turned and looked up into Dumbledore's sad eyes. They swept over her, over James and onto Sirius before returning.
"You came."
"I owe them that much." His voice was as sad as his eyes. he blamed himself. Did he blame himself for the deaths and disappearances too?"
"It's not your fault."
Dumbledore gave a small smile and a shake of his head. "You are exceedingly kind, especially after all that you have been through in the past months."
"We have to fight. Think of the alternative."
"I tell myself that also, and then I see this. I see people dying, suffering. Families are torn apart. I should have done something." She had never seen him looking so old and helpless. It was unnerving to see him as the old man instead of the great wizard.
" You are only one man Dumbledore. We sacrifice to save, so that someday the suffering will end."
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