A/N: Thanks AineMorrigan for the reviews! They've really kept me upbeat! (Once again, the parts of this taken from The Shadow Cabinet are in bold.)
Chapter 9: Rip Me Open
The pain was intense. More intense than any physical pain I'd ever felt. It felt as though someone had sliced my head down the middle and was rooting around in my brain, removing the pieces they found interesting. The pain shot off through my nervous system, spreading out to my arms, my legs, my toes, until every inch of my body throbbed and burned. Until I wished I were dead.
I'd been warned. I could still remember Sid's honey smooth voice as he'd explained how this worked. He could enter my dreams from a distance. Dreams were easy, the minds natural defenses were down and he could simply slip right in, though he was limited with where he could go… which memories he could unlock. But having me this close, being able to touch me, he could go practically anywhere he wanted.
My brain still fought, which was the source of the pain. He'd instructed me to relax, not to fight, but that was like asking someone to lay still while a mad scientist performed an autopsy on their still living body.
I didn't want him in my head! I didn't want him seeing the hidden things that were meant for my thoughts only!
So I fought… and the pain intensified.
But fight as I did, the memories still came. It was like I was living them all over again, though this time, I was screaming all the while. I saw the street with the American style diner, where Stephen was waiting. Our walk in the snow… the house on Hyssop Close… meeting Sid and Sadie. I felt every ounce of horror I'd felt the first time I saw them, like I'd just walked into the lion's den at feeding time.
"Darling, he's in the Shadow Cabinet," Sadie had explained, and at first, this knowledge confused me. Stephen couldn't be in the Shadow Cabinet. He thought they didn't exist. He was just Stephen, the constable that ran the secret ghost police. Stephen who cared about me and saved my life and would never let anything happen to me. The Shadow Cabinet were Hobbs and Winchester, the two men who were currently standing in a room with me and allowing me to be tortured. Stephen would never be a part of that.
The scene continued to play out, despite the pain in my head and my shrieking pleas for Sid to stop. There was the escape from the house, the speeding car… my house, looking exactly as I'd remembered with Stephen sitting on my bed. I could feel how much I'd wanted to kiss him. How I would have given anything to stay in that peaceful moment with him forever.
That one thought, of kissing Stephen in my bedroom, of him seeing every inch of me and there being no secrets… just him and me… the pain lessened slightly. I wasn't fighting as hard now. I wanted to know more. I wanted to see Stephen; wanted to learn his secret.
We were in the park now, the one I'd seen in my dreams.
Stephen was angry, we were sitting in the grass. I listened as Stephen explained the Shadow Cabinet, the sacred stones that kept the gates closed. He'd made the organization sound like the thing that protected London. Possibly the most important organization in the world. I was having a hard time believing that as another slice of pain tore me apart. And then…
"Me. Your job is to protect me," I'd said, and a terrifying idea was slowly creeping into my consciousness.
"You're a thing to be watched and kept," Stephen had explained, though it was unclear if these were only the beliefs of the Shadow Cabinet, or his as well. "It matters. You don't understand. It's all that matters."
The pain intensified and I knew that in the real world, I was screaming and writhing on the bed. I didn't want to hear anymore. I wanted out, but Sid refused to release me.
"Did you come after me because I'm the stone? Is that the only reason you're interested in me," I'd asked then, and I waited with baited breath now.
"I would have done that no matter what," Stephen had said.
"But is that why you – you know. What we did. Did you just pretend to like me?"
"Rory, I don't think you understand–"
But he'd never had the chance to finish. The most important question of all – did Stephen really care for me or was it all an act he was put up to by the Shadow Cabinet? I wanted to scream at Sid to take me back to that memory… wanted to have Stephen here right now to ask him again, but it was too late. Sid and Sadie had arrived then and Stephen had wanted to stay, to keep them from following me back. I remembered it all now. Pushing him down those stairs, rushing into the blackness and knowing that Sid and Sadie were right on my heels.
The pain was burning me alive, destroying every inch of what had once been my body and with one final scream…
Everything disappeared.
~SoL~
The first thing I was aware of was a sense of worry that was not my own.
Rory, a voice called in my head. Stephen. I knew it was him, could almost feel him. He'd been a part of me once, his soul stored inside me and kept safe. I could feel our connection, could feel his sense of urgency… but then the memories came flooding back.
The unanswered question. The fact that Stephen was a member of the Shadow Cabinet and he'd lied about it. Lied to me.
I'm not even sure how I did it, but I suddenly felt the connection close, like I'd slammed a door between the two of us. I just couldn't feel him that close to me, not yet. The sense of betrayal was too strong.
Suddenly, there were hands on my face, massaging my temples. "Rory," Sid crooned, and it made me tremble, the memory of the pain coming back. "Open your eyes, Darling."
Slowly, I pried my eyes open to see white ceiling illuminated by the soft glow of the lamps. Everything was sore. My body felt stretched, like it used to after a particularly brutal field hockey practice.
"It's probably best if you take it slow for now," Sid encouraged, just a hint of mocking humor to his voice. I wanted to slap him.
"Don't touch me," I hissed instead, and the hands on my face stilled and finally moved away.
"My, we're feisty after our nap, aren't we?"
"I'm feisty after I've been tortured into unconsciousness."
"You could thank me for giving you your memories back. Weren't you curious at all?"
I still very much wanted to slap him. "I need water," I croaked out instead, and moments later, a glass appeared beside me in the outstretched hand of Hobbs.
It took me much longer than usual to sit up, my body protesting the slightest movement, but the water felt good sliding down my sore throat… sore because of the non-stop screaming.
"I don't suppose you could have just told me what happened," I inquired.
"You wouldn't have believed me."
"That Stephen is a member of the Shadow Cabinet? An organization that is apparently happy to watch young girls being tortured?"
"Now, now," Hobbs began, his smile a little too wide. "We are certainly not happy to watch you in pain, but it was necessary. You had to understand Stephen's role in this. Our one priority is the well-being of London, to keep it safe. It is a very prestigious honor and Stephen is very committed to the task."
"To protecting me."
"To protecting the power you possess."
His words were like a slap in the face and the moisture in my eyes began to cascade down my cheeks. The questions were bubbling up in my throat, but I knew that if I opened my mouth, the sobbing would begin, so I took another sip of water instead.
"I've been trying to tell you for weeks," Sid supplied, his eyes searching mine.
"The dreams. It was you giving me those dreams," I realized, feeling suddenly dirty. What had Sid seen inside my head?
"I saw how much you love him. Do you see now what I was trying to save you from?"
"Just because he lied doesn't mean he doesn't love me!" I was shouting now, and I managed to sit up further, despite the pain.
"Did he say that to you? That he loved you?"
"He… No, but he cares about me. I know he does, and whatever it is you're doing here, I don't believe he has any part of it!"
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Hobbs began, and he sat down on the end of the bed. I couldn't help but imagine kicking him off into the floor. "We explained our plan to him last week. He's known all along we planned to take you."
A chill was creeping up on me that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. Shaking started, first in my stomach, then in my hands, my feet. I couldn't stop trembling.
"He wouldn't let you," I argued, but my voice was barely more than a whisper.
"Oh, he didn't like the idea. You're right, he does care about you, but in the end, his loyalty is to England, to protecting the people. That is, after all, what we do. You may think us cruel, but I assure you, we have the good of the people in mind."
"Last time I checked, I'm a person. Do you pick and choose which people you protect?"
"Sometimes… sacrifices must be made for the greater good."
Something struck me then, as I watched Hobbs look over at Sid who was watching me with careful eyes. Something wrong. "Why are you working with them," I asked Hobbs. "If you really are looking out for the good of England, shouldn't you be trying to stop them?"
Hadn't that been what Stephen, Boo, Callum, and I had been doing all these weeks? Trying to stop Sid and Sadie? Or was Hobbs right? Maybe Stephen knew where Sid and Sadie were all along and was just waiting for the plan to fall into place. No! I couldn't think like that! It hurt too much!
"Let's just say that we realized we could help each other," Hobbs explained.
"Remember this," Sid inquired, pulling the black stone from his pocket again. "I explained to you how the mysteries work, in a sense. How the soul goes into the stone while the body is transformed. This stone is currently holding at least a dozen souls belonging to the sleepers downstairs. There are twelve of them, all filled and waiting for you to reunite the owners to their bodies. But, sadly, Sadie and I only have eleven of the stones."
At this confession, his gaze turned to Hobbs, whose mouth was now in a tight line.
"You see," Sid continued, "despite all their views on morality and the safety of the world, the Shadow Cabinet is not opposed to blackmail."
"Blackmail might be a bit harsh," Hobbs argued, looking truly offended.
"Oh no, my bug-eyed nemesis. Blackmail is exactly the right word." He looked to me now, his smile rueful. "They have the twelfth stone and they will only release it to us if we help them gain what they want in return."
"Which is what," I asked, a sense of dread consuming me.
Hobbs scooted a little closer to me, even though I cringed away, and pulled a different stone from his pocket. This one was instantly familiar.
"A terminus," I stated.
"Yes, exactly. Part of the Eye of Isis. You're familiar with the story. How the stone was broken into seven pieces. Two of them, as you know, are lost in the Thames thanks to Newman. Another two are in the possession of the Scotland Graveyard. And two are being kept safe by the Shadow Cabinet. And then there's you. Our living terminus. London would be in dire straits indeed if the power from these stones were to be lost forever."
Watching me, he carefully slid the stone back into his pocket. His eyes were sympathetic, as though he were my kindly grandfather come to tell me some unpleasant news and was worried how I'd take it.
"You saw the stone that was used to terminate Alexander Newman. Stephen showed it to you," he inquired, and at this I nodded, thinking of the cloudy bit of diamond that was now completely useless. "Newman was such a powerful ghost. When the stone terminated both him and the woman, it was such a strong reaction, that it expelled the power from the stone. As you were the strongest thing close by, it latched itself onto you – which is a lucky thing indeed."
I wanted to argue with him that this power hadn't exactly brought me luck, but I bit my tongue.
"You see, if the power from one stone were to be truly extinguished, all of the pieces would cease to work. You saw what happened when the Oswulf stone was removed from its resting place. If the Eye of Isis lost its power… well, let's just say it would not bode well for this city."
His eyes were boring into mine now, like I was supposed to have read more into that, but I still wasn't sure what he was getting at. Not to mention every muscle in my body was throbbing with pain.
"You don't recognize the problem yet," he noted, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You, my dear, are mortal. You will die one day. You could die tomorrow, and if you did, the power inside you would be lost. The entire Eye of Isis would be lost and London would be thrown into peril. The power inside you must be returned to the original stone. It is of the greatest importance."
"Wait, wait," I interrupted. "You want to take this power from me? Make me normal again? That's it?"
Normal! I could be normal again. Elias would no longer need me. No one would be after me. I could be a fully functioning member of the team, not an asset to protect. Or I could return home, back to my family. I'd been dreading what it was they would want from me, what they would ask, but this was like a dream come true.
"I'm afraid it is not that simple," Hobbs elaborated, and my dreams deflated. "Taking that kind of power out of something is no easy thing. You saw firsthand how strong the reaction was that expelled it in the first place."
"So… what, it would take time? It would hurt? Fine. I don't care. I want this power gone!"
"Would you be willing to die," Sid asked, his voice soft in a way I'd never heard it before.
My voice was gone. I couldn't respond to that. Die?!
"That's what you'd have to do," Sid continued. "The power will only leave your body at the time of your death."
My heart, which had begun to speed in excitement, was now rushing for an entirely different reason. The truth was… no, I wasn't willing to die. I honestly didn't care what that meant for London or its stupid magic rocks. I wanted to live. I wanted to grow up and get married… have a career or paint murals on the sides of buildings! I wanted a lifetime of choices and complications and miracles! No, I was not willing to die!
At this thought, the fear receded, leaving a white-hot rage in its wake. My hands were balled into fists at my side and I leapt off the bed, towering over Hobbs who was still sitting in a hunched position.
"You're not killing me for some stupid rock! There has to be another way," I shouted.
There was hands on my shoulders in an instant. Winchester's big, beefy hands, holding me back from attacking Hobbs or rushing out the door or whatever it was he thought I would do.
"That's what Stephen said," Hobbs sighed, his eyes never leaving mine. "And he's been searching for it for weeks now."
My gut ached as though he'd punched me, taking my breath, my anger, and my strength right along with it. "Stephen knew you wanted to kill me," I asked. Winchester's hands were no longer holding me back, but holding me up.
"Don't you remember me telling you he had a dark secret," Sid broke in, the hint of a smile in his voice. Sid loved causing misery, inflicting pain.
Without thinking, I pulled my arm back and punched him square in the mouth, just like Stephen had taught me. Blood welled up from his lip and poured down his chin and for a moment, I was rewarded with his baffled expression.
"Calm down, Miss Deveaux, or we'll have to sedate you," Hobbs ordered, and Winchester shoved me down onto the bed, holding me still.
Sid chuckled, eyeing me with not anger, but appreciation. "Not a bad hit," he acknowledged.
"Now, I believe it's time we got down to business," Hobbs explained, standing over me now with a stern expression. He clearly didn't like disorder and I felt a sudden satisfaction that I'd disrupted his day. "Aurora, we need that stone, the one that lost its power. We know that Stephen has it and that you likely know where it is. When you die, that stone must be in close proximity to your body so the power will return to it. It's imperative that we find it."
"Why don't you just ask Stephen for it, since you're both so close," I spat, though the quip tore through me instead of him, slicing open my chest and piercing my heart.
"Sadly, Stephen seems to have briefly lost his way. He wants more time, but time is something we don't have. He refuses to hand over the stone, and though we've turned over that flat, we still can't seem to find it. That is why we need you to tell us where it is."
For once, I was thankful that Stephen wasn't one to share. He'd never told me where he kept that stone… but I had an idea. In fact, I was certain I knew where it was. I'd never been able to fully finish going through that box of personal items when he'd… been asleep. There had been a few things in the bottom, things I'd feared were so sentimental that I'd break down completely if I saw them. One had been a small wooden box, like a woman's jewelry box, most likely his sister's. That stone had been important to him, had been what he'd been given when he'd started the ghost police. I'd seen the look on his face when he'd shown them to me for the first time, the sense of pride he took in them.
If I had to guess where he'd stashed it… wouldn't it be with all the other personal things he'd held onto throughout his life?
"Even if I knew where it was, why would I tell you? You'll kill me as soon as you get it," I sneered, but Hobbs wasn't deterred. Instead, his smile widened.
"Oh, we weren't expecting you to tell us."
And then Sid was next to me on the bed, his hands back on my head.
And I was screaming.
~SoL~
My eyelids were so heavy, I could hardly pry them open. How many times had I done this now, pulled myself back out of unconsciousness? The pain in my limbs was so great, I couldn't even lift my head and my throat felt like sandpaper. Tears leaked down my face, but I wasn't sure how long I'd been crying.
"You need to stop fighting," Sid encouraged, his hand running through my hair, which was now damp with sweat. "The fighting only makes the pain worse."
"Maybe… I'm just not… ready… to die," I breathed out, my jaw aching with the effort of speaking.
"So you'd rather sacrifice London?"
"N… no." But I didn't have the air to explain. No, of course I didn't want to hurt millions of people. I just wanted to find a way to save the Eye of Isis that didn't end in my death.
Sid's fingers were still working their way through my hair, his lips close to my ear. "Come now, little diamond. I've already told you. You can trust me."
His hands stopped moving, now simply holding my face, and I gritted my teeth in anticipation of what was about to come. But instead of pain, I only heard Sid's voice in my head.
Rory, he crooned. You need to trust me. If you want out of this alive, trust me.
My eyes shot open again, boring right into his. What did he mean by that?! Trust him, the man that had just caused me unbearable pain? He had to be joking. But the look he gave me was real, was pleading. It caused me to let my guard down for an instant… but that was all it took.
Pain laced through me once again, and I gagged out a scream. The box, Sid was seeing the box. Where Stephen had hid it, under a loose floorboard in his closet.
"So it's not so easy to find next time," Stephen had joked when I'd asked.
I could feel the triumph that Sid felt for just an instant before he was pulling out of my head and the pain receded.
"No," I shrieked, but he was already explaining to Hobbs exactly where to go.
The two members of the Shadow Cabinet smiled in triumphant glee before rushing from the room. It was just me and Sid now, and he was bending over, touching his lips to my forehead.
"Thank you, Darling. You can sleep now," he insisted, but all I could do was cry.
