A/N: Just a warning, this chapter gets a little steamy!
Chapter 12: What I've Tasted of Desire
"I say we ditch Freddie," Callum said as Boo promptly threw the remote across the room.
Honestly, I had no clue where we were, just some hotel outside of London. It felt like we'd been in the car forever when darkness fell and Thorpe checked us all in to this dingy little place. He'd used a credit card registered in a fake name so there was no chance of anyone tracing it back to him and he'd gotten us three separate rooms, though, at the moment, everyone except Freddie was crowded into the room I was sharing with Stephen – as he refused to let me out of his sight.
"We can't do that," Boo disagreed, flinging herself back on the bed. "If we decide to go with Mr. Psychopath's plan, we'll need her."
"Got something better in mind," I asked, cringing at my sharp tone. I'd barely slept the night before and had never truly recovered from my torture session. Being dead on my feet wasn't doing wonders for my attitude.
"Please tell me," Callum began, moving to tower over me from where I was sitting on the bed, "that you aren't actually considering working with him!"
"If it means–"
"I think we should discuss this in the morning," Stephen shouted, cutting me off. From the way he was rubbing his eyes, I guessed he was as exhausted as I was.
"I agree with Stephen," Thorpe chimed in. "Things have happened so fast that none of us can think right now. We'll meet up in the morning."
"Okay, but one question," Callum inserted. "Who has to room with Freddie?"
Freddie had not been invited to our strategy meeting and was currently sulking in one of the other rooms.
"I'll do it," Boo decided. "I'm the one least likely to kill her in her sleep."
With that, they all strode out the door… leaving Stephen and I alone in a hotel room.
Stephen collapsed on the bed beside mine, running his hands through his hair. I couldn't help but go back to the night of his birthday party… lying beside Stephen with his lips making their way down my neck, across my stomach…
But no matter how badly my body wanted to simply pick up where we'd left off, there was one face my mind couldn't let go of.
"Jazza," I whispered, pulling my knees up to my chest. "We have to save her. We can't let them hurt her like they did Charlotte. Stephen… we have to save her!" Somewhere near the end of my rant my voice had started to shake and I could feel the wetness on my cheeks from the tears I hadn't realized I'd begun crying. "She's my best friend."
"I know, and we won't let anything happen to her. I promise," Stephen insisted, climbing off his bed and coming to sit beside me on mine. His thumb gently wiped away my tears and he put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. "We'll find a way out of this, we always have. We'll save her, Rory."
"She shouldn't be involved in this. She should get to go to class and study German and play her cello. Not get kidnapped by some supernatural freak. He took her because of me. Everything she's been through… it's all been because of me."
I couldn't hold back the sobs any longer and I buried my face in Stephen's shirt. He let me cry, running his hand through my hair and holding me close. The wind had picked up outside and was battering against the windows and the heating unit hardly worked in this rundown hotel, but snuggled up beside of Stephen, I was warm and after several minutes, I finally got myself under control enough to breathe.
"This isn't your fault," Stephen whispered, his lips grazing my ear as he spoke. "Sid is the one who took Jazza, not you. And we will get her back. The only thing you're guilty of is being the bravest person I've ever known."
Tilting my head up, his face was just inches from mine. It wouldn't take any effort to raise up and close those couple inches between our lips, and I wanted to… I really wanted to kiss him. To let him comfort me and forget for the moment all the problems we were facing. His eyes were locked on mine, his head tilting down, but just as I felt his breath fan across my lips, I pulled back.
"Um…," I started, trying to think of something to say, but the hurt was already there on his face.
"Rory, I'm so sorry. If I could take it back… if I could tell you the truth from the beginning, I would. I'm sorry."
"I know. And I understand. I just… I don't know if…"
What I didn't know was how to explain what I was feeling at this moment. It was all too much. The love was still there, strong as always, if not stronger. But there was also betrayal and anger and confusion. And guilt that I was clearly hurting him and desire because he just looked so darn sexy in the light of the lamps and fear that Elias would find us and we'd both be dead by morning!
His lips were on my forehead, just the lightest of touches. "You don't have to explain," he said. "But there's something I want to tell you. Something I need to tell you. Something… I've wanted to tell you for a very long time."
There was resolve in his eyes and tenderness and I was suddenly on pins and needles, waiting for his next words. My heart was beating so fast in my chest I thought it would explode and my natural tendency to babble away the nervousness was back in full force.
"Rory… I love you. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, or talking about them or even acknowledging them… but this is the strongest thing I've ever felt. I didn't think I could feel this." His hand came up then, touching my face. I felt a single tear leak out of my eyes and run down his finger. "Nothing is going to happen to you. Understand? Nothing."
"Stephen," I started, but he placed a finger over my lips, cutting me off.
"I know you need time, Rory. I hurt you and you need time to deal with that. I just wanted you to know that I'll wait. I'll wait for the rest of my life if I have to." The thought was there, that I might not have that long to wait - if Sid's words were to be believed - but I couldn't voice it.
And with that, he pulled the covers up to my chin, sliding off my bed. "Get some sleep," he ordered. "I have no idea what happens tomorrow, so rest while you can."
Dutifully, I closed my eyes, though I was certain sleep wouldn't come. My brain was spinning in confusing circles involving Stephen and crazy rituals and Jazza's comforting voice. But my body finally overrode my brain and exhaustion claimed me.
But peaceful oblivion didn't.
I immediately fell into a nightmare, but not a Sid-induced one. I was back in the basement with Elias, surrounded by the sleeping bodies of his friends. The candles were lit now and the air was heavy with incense. Looking down, a white gown flowed down my body, covering my bare feet and blood was dripping down my arm.
"I am so eager to meet them," Elias sighed, smiling down at the people on the floor. "It has been so long. Are you ready?"
This last question was directed at me and when I looked up, his face was inches from mine. His eyes held a wild glow that had me shrinking back.
"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to pull the brakes on this train full of crazy," I quipped, though my voice was shaking. The stairs were behind me and I somehow knew that if I made it up them, I'd be free. Taking a hesitant step back, I turned, preparing to run… and tripped over one of the sleeping bodies.
It was a body I knew.
"Jazza," I breathed, my throat thick with tears.
She was so pale, even her lips white, and her skin felt like ice. Dead, she was dead! But no, she couldn't be dead! Not Jazza. Not my tea-drinking, Pride and Prejudice reading friend. And then my eyes landed on the body beside her… and the one beside that… and the one beside that.
All my friends. Boo, Callum, Thorpe, Freddie, Jerome… even my parents and friends from back home. All dead and laid out on the cold floor like some pagan offering.
And when I looked behind me…
"Stephen," I shouted, and the sobs consumed me as I stared down at his lifeless face.
"We can still save them, Rory," Elias explained, standing over me. "You can save all of them. You just have to do your part."
"I'll die. I'll die if I do it!"
"And they will die if you don't!"
Frantically, I began shaking Stephen, calling out for Boo, begging my parents to open their eyes. In that moment, I knew I would trade anything to save them. To have them safe.
"Stephen," I begged. "Please wake up! Please!"
The fear must have been too much for my mind, because in the next moment, I was shooting straight up in bed.
Tears were still cascading down my face and it took a moment for me to catch my breath. Surprisingly, I hadn't woke Stephen. He was tranquil in his bed, breathing softly as he slept. His cheeks were flushed, his eyelids twitching in his sleep, and his chest rising and falling. It was all in contrast with the lifeless version from my dream. It had reminded me of the very real moment that Stephen had… died.
Wiping furiously at my tears, I refused to let that happen again. I would not lose Stephen again! I wouldn't!
It was only three in the morning, but there was no way I was falling back asleep. So I watched Stephen… and his earlier words came back to me.
Rory… I love you.
Stephen loved me. He'd actually said it! He loved me! Pushing the nightmare from my mind, I allowed a goofy smile to spread across my face. This was what I wanted to focus on right now. The fact that Stephen not only loved me as much as I loved him, but was willing to admit it out loud. Thinking of how I'd almost lost him… it made my anger at him for his betrayal seem less than important.
He was right, we had no idea what would happen tomorrow. But tonight, I was here with Stephen and he loved me!
Quietly as I could, I crossed the small space to his bed and slid in beneath the covers, right up against his very warm side. I hadn't realized just how cold I'd been.
"Rory," Stephen groaned, his eyes half open and his arm instantly coming up to wrap around my waist. "Are you alright?"
"You told me I could wake you up if I had a nightmare, remember?"
It took a moment, but he smiled then, his eyes opening fully. "What was it about," he asked, his hand coming up to stroke my hair and I snuggled closer to him.
"Let's just say it was bad, but it put a lot of things in perspective."
"What do you mean?"
His eyes were focused right on mine now, and our faces were only inches apart. Hesitantly, I reached up, running my hand up his cheek and into his hair. It was as soft as I remembered it. "It reminded me that anything can happen and being angry is stupid."
"It is?"
"Uh-huh. And I'm tired of being angry with you. I'd rather just kiss you."
I'll never forget how his eyes filled with wonder at that moment, as though he couldn't fully believe his ears. How his lips tipped up in a smile, a real smile, as he pulled me closer…
And then he crushed his lips to mine.
It was all fire and intensity at first, as though if we waited one more moment, we would both combust. My leg came up around his waist and he was pressing me into the bed. His lips left my mouth, only to kiss my cheek, my neck, my collarbone. His hand was running up under my sweater, tracing my scar and running circles over my back. Raising my arms, I let him pull my shirt off, and then his lips were back on mine, consuming me.
I opened the link just a tiny bit… and was nearly crushed by the force of our emotions combining. All the love and longing. I felt the happiness in me welled up as I realized he wanted this just as much as I did. He wanted me.
It wasn't until his shirt was off and I was working on his belt that he spoke up. "Are you sure, Rory? We can stop here. We don't have to–"
But I brought my fingers to his lips, shutting him up.
"I have never, ever been as sure as I am right now. I am 110% sure. 200% sure. So sure that–"
He cut me off this time, chuckling softly against my lips. "Just checking."
We kissed slowly, savoring each moment. I ran my hands down his chest, his stomach, his hips. I drug my lips down the light trail of hair that ran from his chest to his boxers. And he never stopped touching me. He held me so tight sometimes I feared I'd have bruises, and sometimes, he was so gentle that I felt like fine china. And we laughed. My teeth would accidentally graze his lip or he'd run his fingers over just that right spot on my hip that tickles and we'd smile and laugh and kiss some more.
And when we came together, despite the desire that was eating us both up in that moment… he was gentle and patient. It hurt at first, and he waited until I was breathing again before he moved. But it felt so right and perfect. And incredible! I had never experienced bliss like this. It was better than Cheese Whiz and chocolate and silk sheets. A hundred times better than I had ever imagined.
It was me telling Stephen that I was his, that I would always be his and he promising the same in return.
I was certain Boo or Callum or everyone heard me cry out when I reached that highest point of pleasure and Stephen laughed against my neck, the sound reverberating through my body. When we finally both came back down to earth, Stephen kept me curled tightly against his side, his lips still lightly kissing my forehead.
"Wow. That was… wow," I exclaimed, for once at a loss for words. "Was it wow for you too, or is it not the same for a guy? Did it feel like being electrocuted, but in a good way? And now everything's all Jello-like. You know? Nothing wants to move the same… but it all feels amazing. And I thought it would be embarrassing to lay here naked beside someone, but that someone is you and it just feels right and comfortable and wonderful, and the fact that you're lying here naked beside me makes me want to do it again, but I don't think I can get my body to move right now. You know what I mean?"
I felt more than heard Stephen laugh as his lips kissed the top of my head. His fingers were trailing down my bare arm, igniting that desire again.
"Should I be quiet," I asked, realizing that maybe I was ruining the moment. "I should shut up, shouldn't I? People don't babble after sex."
"I like it when you babble," Stephen told me, and then I was kissing him again.
Time lost all meaning for those next, amazing couple of hours. It was just Stephen and I wrapped up in a sheet. The world fell away; nothing existed outside of this hotel room. My life might be falling apart, with my parents upset and searching for me and Jazza in danger and Sid on his way to force us to do something that will likely be terrible… but right now, it was just me and Stephen and our love.
And then the world came crashing back with a single knock on the door.
"Oi, open up you two," Boo shouted, and I was extremely thankful we'd remembered to lock the door this time.
We both broke apart, a little dazed, and Stephen nearly fell off the bed. "Clothes. We need clothes," he muttered, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"We could tell her we need ten more minutes," I joked as I hastily pulled on my underwear. He just shot me a withering look. It was pretty cute to see Stephen like this, all flustered and blushing while he stuffed his long legs into his pants. His hair was in wild disarray on his head from where my fingers had ran through it and his lips were swollen from all the kissing. And on his neck…
"That, um… might take some explaining," I chuckled, and he stared at me in confusion. He was adorable when he was confused.
In answer to his look, I pointed to his neck and he rushed into the bathroom to examine the hickie I'd left just under his ear.
"How… uh… that," but before he could finish his non-sentence, there was another round of furious knocking on the door.
"Do you want the coffee to get cold," Boo demanded. "Yes, Rory, I said coffee."
After one last check to make sure we were both decent, I threw the door open to see a very annoyed Boo.
"Took you long enough," she muttered. "You do realize I just spent the night with our traitor. And she never shuts up. She's worse than you, Rory."
"Hey!"
"Seriously, she just went on and on about how she was doing this for the right reasons and what would I do if it were my brother and no matter how many pillows I threw at her face, she just kept going."
She sat the drink carrier down with a little more force than necessary and some of the liquid sloshed out. Reaching down, she handed me a cup that was a little taller than the others. "Coffee for you and Thorpe. The rest are teas."
Wrapping my hands around the warm styrofoam, I took a moment to inhale the rich aroma before I took a sip… and sighed with pleasure – a sound I'd made several times last night. It was then that Stephen walked out of the bathroom, frantically trying to pull the neck of his shirt up higher.
"Where are the others? We need to discuss our options," he said, taking one of the teas Boo offered him.
"They're on their way. Thorpe is getting breakfast and I think Callum is in the shower. And Freddie could have drowned in the toilet for all I care."
"Boo," Stephen chastised.
"Sorry."
Boo, holding her own tea, paused mid-sip when Stephen turned his head, eyeing his neck.
"Is one of these teas for Freddie," Stephen inquired, and at Boo's reluctant head nod, he grabbed one. "I'll take it to her. I think its time she and I had a talk."
He walked out with a determined look of fury… and then a very curious Boo was staring at me.
"You do realize your shirt is on backwards, right," she asked, a crooked smile turning up her lips. "Please tell me you guys took advantage of having this hotel room to yourselves."
I could feel the blush lighting up my cheeks and Boo's smile widened. Running to the door, I checked to make sure Stephen was definitely gone.
"We did," was all I said, and then Boo pounced on me.
"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it," she shouted, squeezing me tight. "I knew you'd forgive him and make up. Oh, you guys are perfect together. I mean, you argue and disagree all the time, but you bring out the good in each other, you know. You calm him down when he gets too serious and remind him to have fun and he settles you when you go all hyper-squirrel on cough syrup."
"Hyper-squirrel on cough syrup?"
"You know what I mean. You get excited – not that it's a bad thing – and sometimes you act before you think. He reminds you to think."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But… more importantly… he told me he loves me."
It was such a quiet admission that I wasn't sure she'd heard me, but she squeezed me harder before finally letting me go. "He finally said it! Took him long enough. I'm so happy for you guys!"
Taking my hand, she pulled me to the bed.
"So, tell me everything. Did you go all the way? How was it? Details," she demanded.
"Boo! I can't… I…"
"Oh, fine. Don't tell me that. You're face gave it away anyway." I blushed harder. "Tell me this then, yeah. When did you first fall in love him?"
This question took me by surprise. I honestly hadn't thought about it, about that first moment. "I think it was gradual, you know. Like every time I saw him, he crept into my heart a little more. And then he… died. And I realized that I was already in love with him and I realized just how much I'd really lost… or thought I'd lost. But even before that, I'd thought about him all the time. I found myself wondering what he'd be doing if he were with me or how he'd handle a situation. When something ghosty happened, he was always the first person I wanted to call, even if it wasn't an emergency. And when I'm with him… I always know I'll be safe. I remember realizing that after I got back from Bristol, and I was seeing Stephen for the first time in weeks. After the Ripper… I only truly felt safe around Stephen."
"Wow," Boo whispered, and I looked up to see a knowing smile on her face.
"What about you and Callum," I asked, feeling the desperate need to switch share time to her.
"I guess on the outside it doesn't make sense," she began. "I know we argue a lot. We completely disagree on the treatment of ghosts. You remember how I told you I used to be a party girl, before my accident." I nodded. "Well, that was maybe putting it lightly. My family has always been well off – not wealthy, but comfortable – and I was always free to do what I wanted. Nothing was serious, ever. I didn't deal with drama or responsibility. Life was about non-stop fun. And then I nearly died… and everyone still treated me like this air-headed junkie who'd had everything handed to her. I'd never realized how people really saw me. How careless and reckless I'd been. And then I decided to take life more seriously, but no one would take me seriously. It was like they all thought it was just an act and once I got it out of my system, I'd be back to Jello-shots. No one took me seriously… until Callum and Stephen."
I couldn't help but smile, thinking of just how central Boo really was to the team. She didn't resemble that party girl she used to be in the slightest. The voice of reason when Callum became too upset and the one who kept them all from getting too serious when things got heavy. The one who held me up when my world was at its darkest.
"They treated me like an adult from the beginning," she continued. "But it was Callum who really opened up to me. He told me how he got the sight, but he also let me see just how vulnerable he was. It was a side of him he never shows, but he showed it to me. No one ever shared real problems with me because they didn't think I cared. But he saw that in me. That drive to help people, even the ones he doesn't consider people. He understood me in a way that no one else ever has. It was then, that moment when he told me about being electrocuted. His voice was shaking a little and his eyes were haunted, you know. It was then that I fell in love with him."
"He told me what happened that night," I spoke up, remembering the day after Stephen's birthday. It felt like a lifetime ago. "You and him…"
Now it was Boo's turn to blush. "It was amazing," she gushed. "We were drunk, but not that drunk. I saw it in his eyes. Something changed. He really cares about me, I know it. But… with everything that's happened…"
"You didn't really get to capitalize on that moment," I guessed, feeling a little guilty that my being kidnapped interrupted their love story, even if there was nothing I could do about that.
"It's alright. We'll get this sorted first, yeah. Then Callum and I can talk."
"Or maybe not talk," I hinted suggestively, and Boo smiled wider.
And then the door flew open.
"We need to talk, now," Stephen insisted as he burst into the room, with Freddie, Callum, and Thorpe behind him. "Sid is on his way here."
