Characters list:Today's characters: Warriors: Jayfeather, Bluestar, Tigerstar, Yellowfang+everyone else later!
GGH: Twilight, Otuhlissa, Coryn+everyone else later!
Sight:Fell, Morgra, Larka,Kar+everyone else later!
Original characters!: Skull from tortured souls by Hockey10 and Wildpath from wild blood by dsrox!
Brightclaw and Mosshadow with Leopardpool and Bramblepath somewhere back stage.
Here is part one of the finale! Instead of a special episode this is the end of the season because I've been really falling behind on my serious fics.
AND everyone please vote for the poll!!!!!!!
Pre-show
Mosshadow: HA HA HA HA!(he is reading a fanfic) Wow talk about a weird one!
Jayfeather: what?
Mosshadow: I was just reading an alt-ending fic about the Sight. At the end Slavka randomly comes out of nowhere despite being incapacitated and tries to drag Larka and Morgra off into the chasm! Ha Ha. I just think the author was a little over crazy about bumping off Slavka and letting Larka live. Larka personality is screwed up a little too.
Morgra: so you think thats funny?
Mosshadow: um yeah.....
Morgra: seriously! Me getting pulled off a bridge by a pathetic moron is FUNNY!
Mosshadow: He he , yes.
Kar: let it go Morgra.....
Bluestar: I wonder where Tigerstar is , we have 10 minutes to go!
-------Somewhere in a night club-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tigerstar: oh yeah baby, dance Sasha Dance!(soulja boy is playing)
Sasha : oh sure Tiggy-Wiggy.
Darkstripe: (drinks lots of beer) BOOGIE!
Clawface: bwa ha ha. (is drunk)
----------Back to the studio--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brightclaw: gimme that soda Coryn!
Coryn: no way ! Mossy says you'll go hyper and start chain hugging us to death!
Morgra: oh that reminds me. Brightclaw I am sick of being brutally hugged by you! I swear that I will wipe your existence off the face of this fanfic! I'm gonna curse you or something!
Fell: Gulp!
Mosshadow: okay...... You better start running Brightclaw, oh and avoid flammable objects, frozen rivers, water falls and dangerous stuff.
Brightclaw: nahhh. All she needs is a hug!
Morgra: I think I better start running! AHHHHHHH!(starts running in circles).
Brightclaw: Bwah ha ha ! I gonna get you! Hey WAIT, I'M GLUED TO THE FLOOR!
Twilight: ha ha !
Skull and Wildpath enter.
Mosshadow: hi.(Suddenly grabs Skull and shoves him in a cage!)
Skull: What the !
Wildpath(in a deranged mental way): muah ha ha … Evil … Evil!!!
Otuhlissa: well you see your creator asked for us to hurt you a lot!
Coryn: and we're going medieval!
Skull: gulp... but I torture people... this isn't fair!
Morgra(drags a torture rack out of the props room): how bad can it be? It's all for the readers enjoyment! Ha ha ha....
Skull:oh no! Not that one ! Thats what mommy used to do to me when I behaved badly!
Bluestar: that explains rather nicely how messed up you are!
Jayfeather: a rather big chunk of this cast is messed up!
Everyone: HEY!
Skull: me? Messed UP!? Come on! Ha ha ha!
Yellowfang: well, you do torture all those cats by starvation for no apparent reason.
Jayfeather: and who is this rather crazed cat , Wildpath?
Mosshadow: she's a OC cat by Dsrox who in her insanity gathers rogues to kill off her clan mates. She almost success but when the clans congregate at the island she challenges 3 apprentices to battle. Thats really stupid and they kill her. The end.
Wildpath: revenge...Revenge! HA HA HA ! (cackles with insanity).
Brightclaw(tries to un-glue herself with solvent): and where's Larka and Fell?
Jayfeather: not like she's chat rooming.
-------------------On some random chat room-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Whitefur has logged on
Wolfbane has logged on
Eviliam has logged on
Rebelleader has logged on
Whitefur: what up!?
Eviliam: I am plotting to destroy Firestar!
Rebelleader: are you Larka?
Whitefur: maybe...
Wolfbane: what's it to you?
Rebelleader: evil LOL.... revenge!
Eviliam: well if you're Larka then I don't wanna talk.
Wolfbane: and where are you right now?
Eviliam: at a disco club with my girl. I Iming with my new iPhone!
Whitefur: you're supposed to be at the studio!
Rebelleader: Studio! Gasp ! You are Larka! I hate you!
Wolfbane: how dare you flame my sis! I'll burn you with this Moltov Cocktail!
Wolfbane has signed off to burn rebel leader Slavka with homemade explosives!
Eviliam has logged off to go to the studio.
Whitefur: I see that you have changed your screen name from 'ihateyoumorgraandlarka'
Rebelleader:yeah..
Whitefur: oaky.
Rebelleader: This is boring.
Whitefur: bye!
Whitefur has signed off to run to the studio.
Rebelleader: I will have my revenge!!... oh wait everyones gone..... sob , I'm a failure! Sob! I will cry to my self in the fetal position and suck my tail.
IamNOTmosshadow has signed in.
IamNOTmosshadow: yes you are... you suck!
IamNOTmosshadow has signed off so Slavka can't figure out who is chatting.
Rebelleader: I know it's you!!!! or maybe the Comcast guy I bit......
Fireydude has logged on.
Fireydude: what up?
Rebelleader has logged off pissed off.
Fireydude: noooo their're all gone.... sob must jump off a bridge!!!
Fireydude has logged off to wallow in sorrow and jump off bridges while in the fetal position.
-------------------Back to the studio-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Skull: ahhhh! Stop stop!
Morgra: fine, let's stop streching him. Get me some boiling water!
Skull: noooo!
Wildpath: Yesssss... Mussssst Inflicttttt painnnnnnn! Nah hah ha ha ha .
Morgra: um okay...... how about you do it then..... (freaks out about Wildpath and quickly gets as far away as possible.)
Skull: AHHHH! IT BURNS LIKE PIE!!!!
Otuhlissa: doesn't handle well under stress does he....
Mosshadow gets off from the chat room where he has been posing as Iamnotmosshadow. Tigerstar barrels through the doors and trips on Morgra's tail, he flies head over heels and knocks into the torture rack containing Skull, it flies off into a room containing propane tanks with Skull strapped to it. What happens next is very obvious.
BOOOM!!!!
Yellowfang: great... we haven't started yet and already we have killed someone.( she is dousing the flames with a fire extinguisher.)
Morgra: my tail!
Fell comes barreling through the door. He trips on Morgra's tail and lands on top of Bluestar.
Bluestar; get off! You're crushing me!!!!
Morgra: my tail you idiot!!!
Fell: sorry!(jumps off of Bluestar, his tail knocks Jayfeather's remote down from a table, it hits a red button.)
Tigerstar picks himself up, he also happens to have disco clothes and necklaces on.
Otuhlissa: what does that button do?
A large piece of very heavy machinery falls on Tigerstar and Morgra's tail!
Tigerstar; argh!!
Morgra: ack my tail!!!
Brightclaw: why are you hurting Morgra so much today? Did you like reread the Sight or something?
Mosshadow: nahh, it's just coincidence.
Morgra: well it won't be coincidence when I rip your damn face off!!!
She leaps at Mosshadow but at that second Larka barrels through the entrance and steps on her aunts tail like everyone else has done.
Morgra(falls flat on her face): foiled again!
Everyone but Tiggy who is lying under several tons of machinery laughs.
Larka(sees Kar): Kar's here too!! YAAY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Kar: Larka ! I love you too!!
They run to each other through a field of flowers.
Fell: (claps)
Coryn: where did the field of flowers come from?
Few minutes later.....
Jayfeather:okay, today as part of our special we are filming outside the studio.
Twilight: that was awkward.
Jayfeather: well would you like me to say it in a more eloquent way?
Twilight: whats eloquent?......
-------------outside------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Otuhlissa: and now you know where we are!
Camera zooms out showing Silverpelt and the StarClan hunting grounds. There is a huge audience of practically every character.
Random Redwall character in the audience: this is boring.(begins reading PlayBeast magazine)
Cloudtail in the audience: how dare you say that!!! (kills the other guy!) Wow this is an awesome magazine! Look at those chics!!!
Brightheart who is also in the audience: sob! I hate you!! you don't love me any more!!! Sob!!!
Jayfeather: so how about we tell each other what we liked or disliked about this show?
Coryn: you go first then.
Larka: the Co-author is still glued to the floor!
Kar: thats because we have surprise for her.
Larka: oh right!
Jayfeather: well then I thought that the thing I disliked the most was the character choices. We have a insane, evil , murderous cat. Two StarClan warriors who annoy the heck outta me. A demonic black wolf who likes Doritos-
Bluestar: we trying to help you!
Fell: hey! How did you figure that out?
Jayfeather: a deranged, wolf with anger problems and no social life -
Morgra makes a slit throat gesture.
Jayfeather: and an annoying owl who is a king and another nerdy owl who's screen name is NerdBird-
Otuhlissa: how did you know?
Jayfeather: and a stupid singing owl who likes weapons and swords.
Twilight is playing an air guitar in the background.
Larka: I think you need to be more positive and look at the brighter side of life?
Jayfeather: I'm blind! I can't look at the positive-
Slavka(runs on stage randomly): I gonna kill you (Bleep!)(her fur is still smoking from that Moltov cocktail!) die !!(trips on a wire and falls off the platform on to Brassa.)
Brassa: um......
Slavka faints.
Huttser: sigh...
Mosshadow: hey Brightclaw is coming lets get the surprise ready.
They all hide.
Brightclaw(runs out from the studio):where is everyone?
Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!(Confetti falls from the scaffolding attached to the outside stage)
Brightclaw: wow you guys remembered?
Everyone: yep!!!
Tigerstar(being pulled out on a stretcher by the janitor.): I wilth getss youee guis...(faints)
Bluestar; not like any one likes you anyway.
Jayfeather: here's the cake!(pulls out a large chocolate cake with green icing!)
Brightclaw: wow!
Mosshadow: think I should revive Tiggy?
Yellowfang: I suppose so.
Mosshadow takes Jayfeather's remote and points it at Tigerstar, a beam of light zaps him and instantly heals all his wounds.
Tigerstar: um thanks....
Yellowfang: gasp!!!! you are showing gratitude!!
Tigerstar: shut it!
Mosshadow: by the way sorry about your dad.
Tiggy: what!?
Mosshadow: I read about how he became a kitty-pet, I feel sorry for you.
Tigerstar: *snarl* he's not my father any more , he's a filthy piece of foxdung!!!
Pinestar(in adience): I'm so sorry....
Tigerstar(spins around): shut it *bleep*!
Pinestar:sob.
Coryn: okay, now how about that surprise you said you had for us?
Mosshadow: oh sure-
???Cute Gray wolf Cub???: hi!
Mosshadow: the audience is not allowed on stage at this time.
Kar: CAL!!!!!
Cal: hi bro.
Morgra: Cal... that sounds familiar....
Cal: yes of course, since you got Kraar to eat me!!
Morgra: oh right, now I remember, you were that annoying-
Cal: die B*Bleep*H! (shoots Morgra with a pink bazooka)
Morgra: argh! (Dies)
Mosshadow revives her.
Cal: (pulls out a monkey wrench) this is gonna hurt! And thanks for the free tickets Kar.
Morgra: you gave him free tickets? I didn't get any free tickets.
Mosshadow: like you have anyone to give the free tickets to.
Otuhlissa: I would really like to note that your "Morgra has no life" jokes are really repetitive and cruel. Not to mention all the Sight fans are beginning to hate you !
A crowd of Sight fans begin throwing rocks at Mosshadow.
Mosshadow: But all the Larka fangirls and boys are really liking it!(ducks rock)
Cal: ahem!
Mosshadow(moves away): oh right, have fun!
The camera quickly pans away from the two wolves. There are shouts and the sound of someone being bashed with a monkey wrench.
Mosshadow: I pity her....
Tigerstar: *snicker*
Coryn eats a snickers bar. Everyone stares off screen to watch the little side show. A few seconds later when the sounds of someone being violently bashed up cease Morgra drags her rather bruised self back on-screen.
Morgra:ow... my tail still hurts too! And you just made another really bad food joke.
Cal: I gonna hurt you too Fell for being Morgra's ally !
Cal bashes Fell in a really painful spot between the legs and on the head. He then bows and walks off stage to his family who are rather happy at seeing Morgra moaning on the ground.
Jayfeather: here take some aspirin.
Mosshadow: okay for the surprise, I will do charades and Brightclaw gets to guess!
Brightclaw: yahhoooo!!!!!!!(is hyper from eating the entire cake)
Mosshadow: okay first Jayfeather will be helping me so you better move to your position. Graystripe get my bow and flamethrower. Larka and Bluestar move closer to Morgra. Coryn move over to the left. Okay now were going to start!
Mosshadow: suddenly runs at Larka, Bluestar and Morgra and shoves them off a really high bridge.
Larka: where did that bridge and abyss come from ? AHHH! (hits ground and breaks a lot of bones really loudly and graphically)
Morgra: NOO! Not again!!!(also hits ground and breaks bones violently and graphically)
Bluestar: I'm Free! Free falling! (falls into a river)
Wildpath: ohhh they die! Ha ha ha !!(gets killed by three apprentices how leap out of nowhere) ACK NO MY !
Fell: what the-(gets shoved by Jayfeather into a freezing river!) NOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!!
Mosshadow: Yellowfang!
Mosshadow blasts her with the flamethrower!
Yellowfang:ack ! Smoke, can't breathe!(dies)
Jayfeather: hey Sgorr!
Sgorr: um sure!(He gets shot with an arrow from Mosshadow)AHHHH! NOOO NOT AGAIN!!!!
Coryn: what-(gets stabbed)
Mosshadow: now we're done.
Morgra:hey my tail isn't hurting anymore! But everything else is....Argh....(dies)
Coryn: ahhh... argh (dies)
Brightclaw: you were being.... um an AUTHOR!
Mosshadow: correct!
Bluestar: great.... how?(coughs up water)
Fell: you're insane ! Why make us remember all our bad experiences! (coughs up water)
Brightclaw: because he and Jayfeather were reenacting key scenes from various books!
Mosshadow: yup, first I did the final Harja battle conclusion from the Sight along with your death and then I did the final duel scene from the fic wild blood and then the river crossing scene from the sight. After that it Yellowfang's death.... and so on
Bluestar: ah! But I fell off a cliff!
Jayfeather: you had to share with Larka cause it's too expensive to create a gorge.
Mosshadow: onto reviews and questions.
Kar: half the cast is lying with multiple fractures and aspiration!
Jayfeather: oops! (revives everyone)
Yellowfang: my back!
Mosshadow: (reads all the reviews)
Yellowfang: pretty positive.
Mosshadow: you all get ….. Drum roll please!
Everyone begins tapping the floor.
Mosshadow:Firestar, Larka and Coryn plushies!!!! As you can see the plushies are hero themed. And I'll answer Wolfstar4's question for an interview. I will see her fics and do an interview next half season. For Mossclaw17 I think I'll do the same in the next half-season. And about having Twilight cats here... well wait till next season.
Brightclaw: there a charade I wanna do!
She runs over to Tigerstar and stabs him with her claws. He dies quickly!
Tigerstar: noooo!
Mosshadow: I think you're being Scourge?
Brightclaw: yep yep yep!!! (is hyper).
While Jayfeather revives Tiggy a ball of yarn rolls on to the stage.
Berrynose(Gollum voice): NOOOO!!! MY PRECIOUS!!!! (runs after the ball)
Bran(sight): hey whats that red ball? (picks up ball)
Berrynose: GIMMME MY PRECIOUS!!!!! (slashes Bran)
Larka: how dare you!! (leaps on Berrynose)
Daisy: nooo not my kitty!! (jumps on Larka)
Kar: get offa my friend you *bleep*!!! (attacks Daisy and pins her to the ground.)
Cloudtail: noo! Daisy I love you!!!! (Goes for Kar's neck.)
Fell: *SNARL*(knocks Cloudtail down)
Firestar: die!! (leaps on Fell)
Sandstorm: let me join this completely pointless brawl!(also attacks Fell)
Morgra: Sigh.. and I guess should be helping.(knocks Sandstorm off)
Thunderclan: ATTACK!!!!
Jayfeather: how the hell did we get to this with a red ball of yarn!
All of ThunderClan attacks!
Huttser: great.... now we have to save our relatives.... (he and his pack all join the massive fight)
Mosshadow: and lets have a commercial break during this completely pointless act of violence. This is from our sponsor Dragnerz you can read his fics under the Sight and Eragon sections.
-----------------------------commercial-------------break-----------------------------------------------------------
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-------------------------------------------------end-----------------------------------------------------------------
Jayfeather: welcome back!!!!
Everyone: hi!
Wildpath: revenge!!! ha ha ha !!!! ha.....choke!
Larka: get your paw off her throat Morgra!
Wildpath: (takes deep breaths) I will kiiilll you! ARGH(gets slamed through a wall by Morgra Sight powers)
Yellowfang: now it's time to take some calls!
Phone: ring!
Twilight(picks up phone): hello, you're on Jayfeather Talk, wadda you wanna say?
Caller(Russian accent): zis is Vladimir! I have comez for my vife!
Fell(grabs phone from Twilight): Tarlar mine! You *bleep*!
Kar(grabs phone): she's mine too!!!
Vladimir: ohh.... (their is the sound of crying)(phone clicks off)
Morgra: by the way how exactly do two have the same girlfriend?
Fell: why should I tell you?
The phone rings again.
Bluestar: this is Bluestar from Jayfeather talk!
Caller: this is Achmeed the dead terrorist, you wanna join my suicide bomber camp?
Bluestar turns off the phone.
Next caller: I'ma firin mah lazar!!!
Everyone: huh?(turns off phone)
Otuhlissa(for the next caller): hi this is-
Caller: hello I have a question for Tiggy. What the STARCLAN DID YOU DO TO MY SON LAST NIGHT!!
Tigerstar: which son? There so many of them.
Caller: so you admit you gay raped my son!
Tigerstar: it's not rape if he enjoyed it!(slams phone down)
Larka: you did WHAT!
Tigerstar: it was a most pleasurable experience!
Larka and Otuhlissa faint.
Twilight: are you okay!! Speak to me!!
Kar: Larka!
They quickly wake up roused by the noise. They also have lost their innocence.
Larka: you just shattered my innocence.
Tigerstar: well then, do you want some of what I do too?
Kar and Fell immediately shred the evil tom to a few bloody shreds, most of which ended up on the camera lens.
Camera animal(Midnight) : dis is 2 violen.(wipes blood off the screen)
Wildpath(wakes up after being slammed through a building wall) : hi guys!
Jayfeather: thats weird. She just talked normally!
Wildpath: what do you mean? (looks at Jayfeather in a concerned way)
Otuhlissa: I think the joggling of her brain while being smashed through a wall made her sane!
Wildpath: what are you talking about?
Morgra: and now she can't remember anything.
Yellowfang: do you remember what you did before you died?
Wildpath: I'm dead?
Otuhlissa: full blown amnesia. Might be good for her considering her life.
Wildpath: oh, okay.(pads up happily beside Jayfeather)
Jayfeather looks very apprehensive.
Mosshadow: and thats the end of the first half, enjoy this commercial while I put in all of your tortures for Ashfur into part two, thanks!
Twilight: we're causing bodily harm to Ashfur?
Mosshadow: yep. Oh and we shall now show you the cast for the next season! Drum roll please!
Some one rolls a drum across the floor.
Mosshadow: I meant that figure-tively! Okay, come in guys!
Tigerkit, Brokentail, Hawkfrost , And Tarlar(sight) Walk in.
Jayfeather: WHAT!! THIS IS MY CAST FOR NEX SEASON!!
Mosshadow: and Twilight who is already here!
Morgra, Fell, Larka, Kar, : go TARLAR!!
ThunderClan: BOOO BROKENTAIL!! ( they climb up and beat the living and unliving crap out of Brokentail and Hawkfrost.
Otulissa: (pats Twilight) Good job!
Tigerkit: why is everyone ignoring me!
Brightclaw:*hug*
Tigerkit: thanks!
---------Commercial----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In thunderClan campBrokentail(walks up to firestar): Join Evil!! Take this pamphlet of evil!!!
Subtitles: these are customers on hidden cameras.
Firestar: i can see you Clawface hiding behind that bush with a camera!
Brokentail: don't you want to jion evil???
Firestar: shut up!(draws gun)
Brokentail: oh *censored*!
Switch to next scene.
In wolf heaven for the sight.(after sequel)
Brokentail: would you like to get out of your emo corner and Re-join evil?
Morgra: I'm in an emo corner?
Brokentail: well you are lying on a black pillow on a black rock ,in a field of black flowers, and reading a black colored magazine about witchcraft and blackmagic and you painted your claws black.
Morgra: claws are supposed to be black!!!
Brokentail: and you have two knives beside you, is one knife not good enough for self inflicted harm? plus they're black!
Morgra: those knives are for those random idiots who go around making commercials! I used the first three on the GEICO dude. (chucks the knives at brokentail and Clawface) And blacks my favorite color!
Brokentail and Clawface: oh damn! (camera goes dark)
In the great Gahoole tree
Brokentail: join evil!! take this awesome red colored pamphlet of evilness!
Soren: shut the frinking racdrops up!!(draws an ice sword)
Brokentail: are you emo too?
Soren:*cuts Brokentail into pieces*
Clawface: not again!
Twilight: quick! kill the cam dude!(whacks Clawface with a Rockband guitar)
Clawface: mercy!
*a few minutes later*
Ima firin mah lazah!(clawface is blasted through the side of the tree by a large green lazar beam)
To be continued.... (right now i'm putting all the sent in tortures together! Review for a few more!)
