Chapter 3 In Memoriam
A/N: Sorry I have not updated in forever…my mind went on a "I don't want to write even though I have free time" phase but here is the next installment. Also, updates should come more regularly despite the fact that I am going off to college because I have most of the chapters written at least 80% of the way done. Thank you for your patience, Optimus would be proud.
In Memoriam
"You would think that after an hour of doing this they would stop…right?" Jazz asked Bee, reclining on the Autobot-sized couch. The yellow mech shrugged.
"One of life's greatest mysteries before us…" Bee mused absently. He couldn't take his optics off the sight before him.
"Should we get Ratchet…or someone who could explain this to us?"
"He wouldn't understand…best to let the impossible continue on."
Across from them, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were in the midst of an intense staring contest in which neither bot had been declared the winner. It seemed ridiculous at first, but Jazz came to find that she had little interest in anything else but staring at the twins as they tried to make the other flinch. Mech optics were much different from human eyes in that they don't close themselves so frequently nor are prone to move around as much. The game was pointless, yet Sides and Sunstreaker found it entertaining.
"Are your optics tiring, brother?" Sides asked, his brother gave him a scowl.
"Never, I could keep them open forever."
"For the love of Primus, what are those slaggers doing?" Ratchet asked as he entered the recreation room.
"Staring contest" Jazz replied, her smile growing as the look on Ratchet's face turned from confusion to horror to bewilderment. "…A human game that doesn't normally last this long"
"They are competing to see who can stare longer?" Ratchet replied slowly, rubbing his metal forehead with disbelief.
"It's a fun game, Hatchet." Sides said, his optics not leaving Sunstreaker.
"I'm sure it is…Prowl's processor would've gone on the fritz if he could see what you two are doing now."
Ratchet suddenly tensed, as if what he had said were the ultimate taboo; the other mechs in the room turned to stare at him, a dark look filling their face-plates. Jazz noticed this, she was confused.
"Who is Prowl?"
She was greeted with a look of sympathy. Even Kup couldn't mask his sadness.
"…One of the Autobot's best tacticians and most loyal members." Ironhide said solemnly.
"Not to mention brave" Kup added, "I never knew a mech so dedicated to his work."
"He sounds like a good soul" Jazz said, "What did Ratchet mean by his processor going on the fritz?"
A collection of low chuckles filled the room.
"Whenever he would encounter something illogical, his poor processor would overload, causing him to temporarily offline." Ratchet explained, a ghost of a smile sat on his face.
"What happened to him?"
The mood darkened even more. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe temporarily paused their game to stare at the girl with a hint of a glare.
"We're not sure what happened." Ironhide explained, "He went on a solo scouting mission and we lost contact before his report could be transferred to us. Later on, hints of a Decepticon ambush lead the final story that he had been kidnapped and eventually offlined."
"It was a dark day for the Autobots when his gun had been left at the scene of the ambush, months later. Optimus had been crushed beyond belief, however he didn't show this pain. A strong mech, Optimus is." Ratchet added, his gaze downcast.
"I'm sorry." Jazz said, resisting the urge to cry in front of the mechs.
"Don't be ashamed of showing your emotions," Bumblebee told her after noticing the redness of her face, "We live in hope that his spark went to Primus and to the Well of All Sparks."
"If anyone deserved that honor, it is Prowl." Kup said, taking a rather large sip of regular-grade oil.
There was a moment of silence in honor of the mech, in which Jazz reflected on the story she had been told. From what she had been told, this loss was still felt and held a heavy burden upon her family. She wanted to help, she wanted to ease their pain, but no ideas came to mind. Jazz felt even more useless as Bee and the twins held their faces in their hands.
Jazz knew that despite his strong exterior, Ironhide was also grieving for the loss of Prowl. Everyone had their coping methods and for some—like Ironhide—they would focus on maintaining a strong appearance to keep others together. The loss of a teammate seemed difficult for Jazz to understand, partly because she had never witnessed the death of one of her Autobot wards, neither the loss of a human soldier like Lennox or Epps. Despite this, she could feel the pain emanating from them and felt a solemn respect for the dead grow inside of her. Perhaps it was like how she felt when she lost her parents, yet she would never know personally unless the unspeakable happened: one of her Autobot friends died. She hoped desperately that wouldn't happen. She wasn't as strong as her Autobot brothers, she couldn't cope with the loss as others could.
Crawling into Bee's waiting fingers, she hugged his thumb, fearing he would disappear if she didn't. She could never fathom the loss of her best friend. He was the reason she kept living, the source of her happiness. Bumblebee was the torch that guided her and she would rather die than see him suffer. The love for him went way beyond a friendship, it was an unbreakable bond that kept her moving in the right direction. Jazz wouldn't have it any other way.
Eventually, Sides and Sunny returned to their staring contest, a certain light of life had left their optics, leaving a half-empty shell-like appearance. Jazz continued, watching them, resting in the palm of her guardian's hand.
She made a silent prayer to anyone who would listen, anyone who would help: "Ease their pain and guide Prowl's spark to a place of happiness and peace. I may not know him well enough but I know he deserves at least that much. Please."
