CHAPTER TEN- "Be My Escape," by Reliant K
Esme and I were hanging the last of the lights on the roof when a basketball of snow slammed into my back. I whirled, the ice under my shoes making a crunching sound as I spun around. Since it was only a few degrees colder than my skin, I was able to shake out the powder without any unnecessary wetness. "What the hell?" I shouted, my eyes landing on the boys, who were about half a mile into the trees.
Emmett, who had been hiding comically behind a waning tree, roared with laughter. Coming from behind him, Edward smacked the back of his brother's head.
"Emmett," Esme scolded. "Be polite; Bella is our guest."
"What was impolite about that?" he half-chuckled. "That wasn't an attack. That was a challenge." Snow dripped from his curly hair- this wasn't his first challenge of the evening.
"I wouldn't tease, Emmett," Jasper said as all three of the boys stepped into the clearing. He was balancing the trunk of a beautiful green pine tree in his hand. "You might have power, but I bet Bella could take you."
"You're kidding," Emmett snorted. Pushing back his sleeves, he kissed the bands of muscles on his arms. "She's got nothing against these babies."
"Nah," Edward agreed sarcastically. "She's just smarter, more graceful, and probably faster."
I would have blushed, had I been human still.
"Jasper, the base to the tree is set up in the family room," Esme said, bending her knees against the tilt of the roof. She slid off gracefully, landing on her feet with a near-silent crunch. "Try not to hit the chandelier this time, please."
He followed her inside the house, muttering, "I already said it was an accident."
"So, what do you say, Bella?" Emmett asked, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "You ready to take on... The Bear?"
"I would, Emmett," I said, shrugging. "But I wouldn't want The Bear to go running to Christopher Robin when he gets his plush butt kicked."
There was a clamor of boisterous laughter from inside, and Edward had slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his own. "Good thing it's snowing!" Jasper cackled, appearing on the front porch. "'Cause Emmett just got burned!"
I smiled. "Jasper, do you know when Alice and Rosalie will be home?" Crossing my arms over my chest, I looked down the driveway. Banter came easy with Emmett, but I didn't want to let down my guard completely.
"Ah, probably not much longer," he sighed, still grinning. On cue, his cell phone began ringing from his pocket. He picked it up in a blur, pressing it to his ear. "Yes?"
I heard Alice's soprano voice as she explained that she'd be home soon, and she fully expected the boys to carry in the metal. "We're covered in dirt," she said, "and we're going to clean up before we start decorating the tree."
"Yes, dear," Jasper said, slipping a hand in his pocket. "No problem."
She hung up without another word, and I could hear the purr of an engine slowing down at the entrance of the driveway. The tires crunched over gravel and snow, and pretty soon, a big, silver jeep- very much like the one Emmett had driven so long ago, but with modifications and new features- rolled up and stopped in front of the garage.
Rosalie opened the driver's door and jumped down, flipping her blond mane over her shoulder. She did look dirty, with grease smeared all over her hands and face. There was something wet and almost frozen stuck in her hair, and a tear in her baby blue sweater, but she looked like a supermodel as she blew a kiss at Emmett and disappeared into the house.
Alice wasn't nearly as messy, which made me wonder how much of the grime had been from fixing cars and how much was from the scrap yard. "Hey, Bella," she sang. "The house looks great." I may have been seeing things, but it honestly looked like she gave Edward a conspiratorial wink.
"I just helped hang lights," I said with a shrug. "No big deal."
"Well, it looks good," she affirmed.
Jasper's face lit up. "Alice, you missed the funniest thing..."
As he went into his rendition of what had just happened, Emmett turned to me and cracked his knuckles. "So, are you up for it?" he asked, making a show of flexing his muscles.
I didn't want to say no. The disappointment on his face would put a damper on my decent mood. But I didn't want to say yes either.
Alice exploded into giggles. "That is funny. If only she'd been around in the beginning so they could arm wrestle."
Jasper and Edward chuckled at the thought, but the bigger of the brothers sneered. "But she wasn't, so the fact remains that I am still unbeatable. Now, are we having a snowball fight or not?"
"Oh, definitely." Alice said, and I knew this meant that she had decided for me. "Let me see if I can catch Rose: Vous voulez jouer dans la neige avec nous?" She put her hands on her tiny hips and looked up at the house, as if she were expecting it to answer.
"Allez sans moi," Rosalie replied from inside, and I heard a shower turn on. I wondered absently if the French was habit or just for fun.
"Ah, then we can't do couples," Jasper sighed. "So how are we dividing teams up? We gotta keep it even."
"I call Edward!" Emmett immediately shouted, raising his hand like a kindergartener.
"No." Jasper rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Then you'd have the strongest and the fastest."
I started to back towards the house, but Alice caught me. "And Bella can't be on my team, or I'd be able to see the other group and that's not fair." Drat.
"Since when have you-"
"And you can't be with Edward either," Jasper commented. "You two always have something going on."
"If I can't have Edward, I want Jasper," Emmett spoke up.
"Fine," Edward said. "You and Jasper and Alice. Bella will be with me."
"What?" The word forced its way past my lips. I liked the way he said, 'Bella will be with me' far too much.
"It's fair," Alice shrugged. She wasn't putting up much of a resistance. "I can't use my abilities to watch the enemy, so he shouldn't be able to use his to conspire with his teammate." She added as a last thought, "So, no messing with emotions, Jazz."
The tall blond nodded. "Okay. Bella, do you know the rules?"
I shook my head, certain my expression looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"Okay, it's kind of like capture the flag. Except you're the flag. Or Edward." Jasper nodded at his wife, and she disappeared inside the house.
When she returned, she had two handkerchiefs balled in her hand. "Who's got the flag?" Edward nodded at me, and Alice took the liberties of shoving half of one handkerchief into my back pocket so that one corner showed..
"Now," Jasper continued. "We're all going to get three minutes, and each team runs in the opposite directions. After two minutes of straight running, the teams can spread out as much as they want. When the timer goes off, it's anybody's game. Other teammates try to distract the attention from the flag, and whoever gets the other team's flag wins."
"Alice, you're flag," Emmett muttered. It was a good defense- she was smaller, and probably faster than me.
"Okay," Edward said. "Ready?"
"Set your watch," Jasper said, looking at his wrist. "Edward and Bella go North, we'll go South."
"Ten, nine, eight," Alice began. We all edged toward our horizon. "Seven, six, five, four," I decided I wanted to win. "Three, two, one, go!" We shot forward, Edward and I, leaving the house in our snowy dust.
We didn't speak. All effort was put into running. Either he kept my pace or I kept his. When he sped up, I did, too; when I forced my feet to push the ground harder, he did, too. Our breathing fell in rhythm, and each second was an hour, allowing our speed to chew the ground in meters, miles, countries.
When I felt we were nearing the two minute mark, I glanced at him, wondering when we'd separate. Did he have a strategy in mind? Was I to play offense or defense? The handkerchief in my back pocket was like a weight.
"What's the plan?" I whispered hesitantly as trees blurred past us. I tried not to watch the concentration on his face, but my gaze refused to shift.
"Hmm." He looked at his watch and pursed his lips. "No plan." His pace suddenly dropped, and I forced my feet to slow down.
"No plan?" Very weird. Edward was the king of plans, and punctuality, and having things exactly how he wanted them. At least when I knew him, he was.
"Just stay close to me," he said, coming to an abrupt stop.
Considering the way my body ached to be near him, I didn't think that'd be much of a problem. "Okay," I replied breathily. I stopped a few meters away and drifted back towards him. "Now what?"
"Shh." He held up a finger, silencing me. He had his eyes closed as he listened to his surroundings. I tried to do the same, but I couldn't make my thoughts stray from his face for more than a few moments.
"Bella," he said lowly, very quiet. "As carefully as you can, come stand in front of me."
I nodded, slowly picking up my feet and moving them in front of me. When I put them down, the crunch of snow was deafening. I winced at every too-loud noise. He nodded at me, beckoning me forward with his fingers. The call was irresistible- I moved in front of him, a foot away from his chest.
He put his hands on my forearms, holding them to my sides. Leaning over my shoulder, he put his lips to my ear and whispered, "They'll be playing offense. There are more of them, so they think it'll be easy to get me away from you."
I shuddered. His breath was sending very distracting goosebumps down my spine. His hands were strong against my arms, thank God- I might have held tight and not let go, if it were not for his restraint.
"What they don't know, Miss Isabella Marie Swan,"- nobody had used my full name in ten years- "is that I don't plan on ever letting you get away from me again."
I breathed in his scent, his sweetness. My silent heart felt as if it were pounding again. It attempted to burst through my ribcage.
And, then, once more, as a snowball flying eighty miles an hour clipped my shoulder.
Edward suddenly pressed himself to my back, and I was very aware of his breath tangled in my hair. "Go," he whispered, and I shot through the forest. I panicked for a moment, thinking that I'd lost him, but my very own god was no more than a yard behind me. "Don't look back," he hissed as I glanced back at the clearing to see Emmett pounding towards us.
We moved through the trees as one, his steps automatically followed mine. We did not stumble or trip over each other as we should have, with him running so close, but we were one person. One set of arms, one set of legs. Our breathing even stayed in stride.
The enemy was hidden in the trees. I caught glimpses of them every now and then- a flash of blond hair, or Alice's jacket, and I could hear Emmett's low swearing- but Edward didn't let me pay any attention to them. He was talking to himself, saying Jasper's thoughts aloud. He seemed to be the key strategist, telling Emmett and Alice where to go and what to do.
"Keep Alice out of sight they might switch to offense any time what are they doing they're getting nowhere-" The words came quick and fast- no pauses. He didn't stop to move through sentences, and I tried to match Jasper's voice to the thoughts. Edward's smooth velvet made that impossible.
"We can't run forever," I said as low as I could. "They'll have to catch us eventually."
As if on cue, a cantaloupe-sized snowball exploded across my path. I dove over it to avoid stopping, and rolled into a crouch. There was a bark of laughter behind me, a hissed curse to my side, and I thrust my hips up and swung my leg to my right. Jasper, who had been diving for the flag, slid under me on his belly. I put my other foot on top of his back and kicked up, taking off into the forest again.
"Well done," Edward whispered over my shoulder. I hadn't seen him come up behind me, but he was holding to his promise. He hadn't lost me yet.
Yet.
The trees danced past us- they bent and moved as our breeze pushed them out of the way. Edward picked up speed, practically pressing himself to my back. I could feel each breath press against my shoulder blades.
There was a deafening crack, and Edward spun around with a loud snarl. I kept moving as he gathered a bullet of snow in his hand and hurled it viciously at his attacker. Another loud noise, and I heard a growl of pain from Emmett.
"I'll get you for that, lover boy!"
I panicked for a minute. Snow bulleted around me as I ran farther and farther away. How far could I get before Alice or Jasper intercepted me? How long would it take before Edward could get away from Emmett? My back felt cool; the breeze blowing across it reminded me that I was an open target. I swore under my breath, and looked up to the sky, as if praying to the heavens.
When I looked back down, Jasper was just yards ahead of me, prepared to make the interception.
In a six-hundredth of a second, I discovered that Emmett had been a distraction, meant to keep Edward away from me while Jasper captured the flag.
Realizing this, my breath hitched, and I wrenched myself toward the nearest tree. Jasper's bark of laughter echoed again as I felt his hand grasp at the waistband of my jeans. I squeezed my eyes shut, admitting defeat as I tried to swing around the tree in a last-chance attempt to escape.
No such luck. I felt his fingers graze the handkerchief.
A roar shook me out of my stupor, and I twisted my hips as a snowball slammed into Jasper's hand. The blond snarled with annoyance, and I didn't allow myself a sigh of relief before I was off again. There were sprays of powder as the fight continued behind me, but I paid them no mind. The edge of the woods was near, and I had to keep away from Alice and Emmett.
Edward's low trail of pronounced thoughts continued, getting closer to me with each millisecond that passed. "Oh no gonna find Alice gotta get there first-" The grayish light of the clearing called to me, and I saw a flash of Alice's red jacket. With a grunt of effort, Edward pushed himself past me, and I skidded to a stop at the edge of the forest. He wouldn't have left me alone if he had known that Emmett or Jasper were after me.
I instead watched as Edward's lithe form burst into the clearing, startling the pixie girl. Shocked, she whirled around- protecting the handkerchief- and snarled. He tried to dive around her, but she was faster, twisting out of his grasp and backing out of the clearing. Edward whirled past her, blocking her exit, and she hissed. Jasper appeared opposite of me, his eyes set on Edward. He didn't seem to notice me.
I edged toward the shadow, watching as Alice and Edward danced around each other, moving in a blur of skin and cloth. Jasper's hand recoiled, and then snapped forward as a snowball pelted Edward's shoulder. Distracted, he reflexively looked to see his attacker, and Alice raised her hand- full of snow- to smash the powder into his eyes.
Half a mile to my right, Emmett shot forward at the same time as I did. His muscle slowed him down. I was faster, lunging for her exposed back pocket. With a flash of color, my hand closed around the scrap of cloth, and I flew to the ground, my shoulders digging out a path in the frozen Earth.
The clearing stood still, Alice and Edward standing in the middle. The snow trickled from her hand as her eyes widened, and she suddenly whirled around to inspect her emptied pocket. "Dammit!" she snarled, and I let my head fall back so that I was staring at the sky. It spat snowflakes down at me, and I listened as the chorus of reactions errupted.
0o.o0
I paid no attention to the snow that had buried itself inside my shirt, my jeans, and my shoes. But the minute I stepped into the warm Cullen home, it all melted, drenching me. My hair stuck to my face in wisps, and the soles of my shoes squished with each step. With a wave to Esme, I went immediately to my bedroom and shut the oddly-shaped door as softly as I could.
My mind was in a tangle, but my heart was dancing, ecstatic that Edward seemed to be showing some affection. It wanted to run back downstairs and bury me in his arms. But my head was the voice of reason. It remembered what thirteen years without him had done. "He could leave again at any minute," it reminded me. "Don't you dare let yourself get attached."
I pondered this as I picked up my bag and set it on the bed. Would he leave? Would he tear us all apart again? My mouth set into a scowl as I pulled out my pajamas. If he did, I told myself, I would never speak to the Cullens again. I'd disappear, and they'd never be able to find me again. I pulled my wet clothes off and dropped them on the floor, trying to ignore the fact that I was ruining the plush blue carpeting. The big question was would I have the strength to run away from all of this again? Could I make myself leave these people, where I felt more at home than I ever had before?
I shook my head. These were thoughts I didn't want to entertain. Best case scenario: I stay in Oregon until I feel comfortable enough to move back in with the Cullens. Edward falls in love with the new vampire me, and we live happily ever after. Worst case scenario: I stay in Oregon until I feel comfortable enough to move back in with the Cullens. And then Edward convinces them all to leave again.
Could I take that? My lips pursed as I pulled on dry clothes. I was resilient, I knew- I always had been- but could I take the rest of my heart being shattered and stomped on?
Voices downstairs distracted me.
"Do it, Edward. Stop being a sissy and do it."
"I'll do it when I'm ready, Alice. Thank you very much."
"Hey, Jasper. Fifty bucks says Edward won't even knock on her door."
"Twenty says he does and then runs."
"You're on."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. This family was crazy, completely insane. Stifling a yawn, I shook my head and picked up my wet clothes. I hung them on the back of the rocking chair and put my extra pair of jeans under them to catch the dripping water. It was a black night- no moon in sight, and I blinked against my tiredness.
A hesitant knock on my door snapped me out of my quiet thoughts. I glided across the room and opened the door, my breath whooshing from my lungs.
Edward, of course. He looked so beautiful; the melted snow plastered his messy bronze locks to his forehead. He'd changed clothes as well, into a pair of gray sweatpants and a long-sleeved white shirt. It clung to him like a band groupie, tempting my gaze to move from his face. I didn't let it fall past his sculpted shoulders.
I smiled hesitantly. "So. Jasper wins, right?"
He sheepishly looked down at the floor. "Sorry about that. I try to tell them not to gamble on you."
"Technically," I said, folding my arms over my chest. "They're gambling on you."
A small, crooked smile stole my breath, and I bit my lip against a stifled desire. His face turned very remorseful. "This is very awkward for you, isn't it?"
"Yes," I replied honestly, still stunned by his face. He was so beautiful it hurt.
"I'm sorry about that. I wish I knew how to make this easier for you."
Pain lanced through my chest. He didn't want me. He was trying to let me down easy, to tell me that we could still be friends. Typical. "Me too," I spat bitterly, an angry V etching into my forehead. "There's a lot of things I wish you knew."
His face contorted with hurt. "Please, Bella... Please, don't be angry with me." I opened my mouth to hiss something rude, but he began again. "I'm not saying that you don't have every right to hate me, but I don't want you to." He sighed, as if this confession were a heavy load. "I'm not saying you have to care about me like you once did. Or care about me at all. But there's been so much hate here since we left, Bella, and I'm sick of it."
I turned around, but didn't close the door. I couldn't bear to watch his face when it looked so sad. "Dumping me didn't have the result you wanted, did it?" I whispered, not missing the fury I'd meant to inject.
He inhaled sharply, as if I'd splashed cold water on him. "No, Bella. It didn't. Because you're sad. You're angry and miserable, and it's all my fault. That's the complete opposite of what I wanted."
My chin trembled, and I clenched my jaw to keep it still. There was a soft, tentative touch on my waist, but that simple brush sent flames straight through my body. "You thought I'd be happy if you left me all alone?"
"Not at first, no," he murmured. "I knew it'd hurt. Hell, it nearly killed me to pretend I didn't love you. But I assumed you'd move on. Choose Mike or Eric or Tyler. I thought the worst case scenario would be that you'd throw yourself into a... sexual relationship and get hurt." Did he think so little of me? "But I was wrong. I never dreamed you'd attempt suicide or run away from home."
The hand was very firm on my hip now. It was a simple touch, but my body ached to lean into it.
"How do you feel about me?" I whispered, regretting the question as soon as it escaped my lips. But I had to know. Would he really be so cruel to touch me like that if he knew what it did to me?
He sighed once more, but this one wasn't painful or surprised. It was relieved, almost. "I love you, Bella." Edward stepped closer, and his hand traced down my wrist and took my hand in his. "I love the way you talk. I love the way you move. I love the way you smell, and the way you look. I love watching you with my family, and I want you to be a part of this so much. But I want me to be a part of this too. I want you to want to be with us, and I want you to want to be with me." His other hand took mine, and he pulled me to him, hugging me. "I shouldn't expect you to come back to me so easily- I don't- but I'm incredibly selfish, Bella. Staggeringly so. I want to watch you while you sleep and not feel guilty about it. Because I want you to want me."
I turned around in his arms, pressing my face into his chest. He held me tight, and bittersweet relief choked me. He loved me. He loved me, he loved me, he loved me. But he left me. Could I forgive him? After so much, could I put myself out there and risk the heartbreak all over again? Looking up at him, I couldn't make myself say no.
"Would it be incredibly rude of me to kiss you right now?" he asked gently, and I shook my head, angling my head up to accept his lips.
A gasp from the stairs made me jerk away. Just a few inches away, his still waiting lips curled into a snarl, and he turned. "Alice!"
I looked around him. The pixie- and Edward's brothers- were squeezed on the top step, ducking down out of sight. Emmett was snickering like a ten-year-old. I put this together with their conversation from earlier. I was some sick form of entertainment.
"Go to hell," I spat, pushing him as hard as I could and storming down the stairs. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett moved out of my way, calling after me.
"Bella, it's not like that!" Jasper shouted.
I felt so humiliated. I was just a stupid plaything to them. Edward didn't mean a word of what he said- he just liked to toy with my emotions.
Esme was standing at the foot of the stairs on the first floor, looking alarmed. I watched my feet as I blew past her. I could hear footsteps behind me as I ran out the door. I was halfway out of the clearing, when somebody grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. Edward.
"I hate you!" I shrieked, livid. "You're a sick, twisted, evil person, and I hate you!"
The other Cullens were appearing on the porch. Esme was sobbing into her hand, and Rosalie was glowering at us.
"Bella, please don't say that," Edward begged, not releasing my wrist.
"And why shouldn't I?" I tried to yank my hand away, but he was stronger. "You pretend like you care about me to put a show on for your stupid siblings! You've got me on a string like a freaking yo-yo, yanking me up and down whenever you feel like it! One minute you're promising you'll never let me go, and the next minute you're doing something stupid! I am so sick of- Jasper, I swear to God, I'll kill you if you try and make me calm!"
"Bella, I promise you, I meant every word I said. Yes, we're entertainment to them, but I would never lie like that to you. I'd never humiliate you like that." He reached a hand up to touch my face, and I half-heartedly jerked away.
"How am I supposed to believe you?" I asked. "You've lied to me before, so how am I supposed to know when you're telling the truth?"
"Because I don't want to lie to you anymore." He moved his tight grip to my forearm, making his touch more gentle. "I told you- I don't plan on letting you get away from me again. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep that promise."
"I- I just..." I sighed exasperatedly. "I need some time to think." I glanced at the porch. "Without every single person in the world watching me."
"I can do that," Edward nodded eagerly. "You need time? It's yours. Just don't leave, Bella, please don't run away."
I pulled away, and with another glance at the Cullens, faded into the forest. I didn't run- I had no need to. Sure, my walking was much faster than a human's, but I didn't feel the need to escape. I needed some breathing room. The past fifteen minutes had my mind working a mile a minute. I had it separated into two categories: Did Edward love me? and Could I trust the Cullens?
It was possible that Edward loved me. Very possible, if I thought about it. But at the same time, it was also very unlikely.
He said that he left me so that I could be happy, but did he honestly think that my emotions could be so easily swayed? Or was that a cover for his true reasons- he didn't want me because I was just a pathetic human. Did he want me now that I was a vampire? Would that bother me?
I sighed. I never could figure him out, even when he loved me so long ago.
And then the Cullens. Esme, I knew, loved me undoubtedly. I had thought that Alice and Emmett did too, but after what just happened, I didn't know if I could trust them. Jasper seemed trustworthy, and I couldn't even begin to guess at Rosalie and Carlisle. Rosalie never liked me, and Carlisle might be upset with me for dividing his family so. Could I be with a few of the Cullens and not worry about the rest leaving? Or were they all a package deal- one leaves, all leave?
I put my back against the trunk of a tree and sat down. I'd forgotten that I was wearing my pajamas, and the snow looked stark white against my own pale, bare legs. The black sky wasn't a problem to my acute eyes, but it was still slightly unsettling. I closed my eyes, realizing how suddenly exhausted I felt. In fact, I was almost asleep when I heard a pair of crunching footsteps.
"Edward?" I asked warily, sitting straight.
"Nope. Just me." I recognized Rosalie's voice. I caught her blond hair in my peripheral vision, and I stood up, brushing off the back of my shorts. "Sorry to disappoint."
"You didn't disappoint me," I told her, folding my arms over my chest. "Did you come out here to yell?"
She rolled her eyes. "I should, for the way you're acting, but no." She held out a square package. "I brought you this. It's tradition- everybody opens one present on Christmas Eve."
Christmas had almost completely slipped my mind. I took it gingerly- it was slightly heavy for it's size. "And how am I acting?"
"Like an oversensitive, overreacting spoiled brat." She didn't hesitate, didn't pause to see if her words had struck a nerve. "I get that you're angry and all, but seriously- Alice, Emmett, and Jasper watch you guys cuddling up and you assume they're playing some sick joke? We do have better things to do than ruin your life."
I shrugged. "Maybe. So, what's in here?" I tapped the box with my thumb.
"Open it and see." She rolled her eyes, like it was obvious. Which, I guess, it was.
I sighed, pulling off the snowflake-patterned paper. A plain white box sat in my hands, and I flipped off the lid. Inside laid a jewelry box, like one that would hold a necklace. Flipping it open carefully, my eyes landed on a fine silver chain, with three keys strung along its length. "Oh. Wow." I pulled out the necklace, tucking the box between my elbow and my side.
"What do they go to?" Two of the three were just plain, generic keys. The third was tiny, like one that belonged to a diary that I'd had as a girl.
Rosalie grinned wickedly. "The first one is to the house. The second is to the Volvo- Edward had it put in storage several years ago. And the third... Well." Her blond head tilted, and her eyes glittered. "I'll let you figure that one out on your own."
